If You Don't Have Big Breasts, Put Ribbons on Your Pigtails (19 page)

Here's how I've used the Internet to build my business:

1. The idea is to be first.

When it comes to the Web, I never try to be perfect, I try to be first. Our company was the first to put floor plans on our Web site and the first to introduce virtual tours, market appraisals, broker profiles, neighborhood mapping, and chat rooms. None of our ideas were original; they were just original to our industry.

2. Have lunch or be lunch.

Fve initiated more good things on the Internet simply because I was afraid my competitor would do them if I didn't.

3. The little guy has the advantage.

Small businesses can be more creative and move faster than larger businesses on the Internet. The online medium thrives on creativity and speed. The Web is also a great equalizer because it lets the little guy appear to be as large as the big one.

4. Be prepared to spend a lot more money than you expect.

Whatever you think the cost will be to develop your new technology, triple it. Why? Because the Internet is a moving target that will always offer a better software option the following month. And after your Web site is built, it has to be constantly adapted and improved for future use.

5. Buy the software off the shelf.

Inevitably, someone has already developed a software program that can be tailored to your needs. Develop your own software only as an absolute last resort.

6. Beware of technology people who look like leprechauns.

They weave a magical story, sprinkle it with fairy dust, empty your pockets, and, poof!, disappear into the forest. They speak a secret language you're not meant to understand, like "the right business model," which means "wishful thinking,' and "beta testing," which means "we're not ready yet.'' And "burn rate" is exactly what it sounds like. Don't hire thern. Find people who can understand your business and explain in practical terms what needs to be done.

7. Use the Internet to build loyal customers.

Customers love the anonymity and control the Internet gives them. When a customer finds you on the Web, the relationship quickly moves from voyeur to pen pal to "friend for life," faster than it does through any other medium. And when the customer finally meets you, they are more loyal than any other.

8. Make your information two clicks away.

Consumers consistently cite "ease of use" as their number one reason for choosing a Web site. More than two clicks is one click too many.

9. Put your URL on everything.

The best way to promote your online brand is through your offline marketing. Put your URL on everything you print and make sure it's as big as your company's name.

10. Online Internet advertising doesn't work.

Don't be fooled. Online advertising is cheap for a reason. It simply doesn't work.

The Corcoran Group became known as the industry innovator because we grabbed every small opportunity along the way to initiate change. In short, we were consistently willing to jump out the window.

DOS AND DON'TS OF EFFECTIVE E-MAIL

We all get a lot of e-mail, and like other forms of communication, there are always ways to do it better.

1. Don't use e-mail as a way to avoid speaking with people. Speaking with someone reveals and invokes more information than e-mail ever will.

2. Keep it short and sweet. Short, clear e-mails show respect for the recipient's time, but terse one or two word responses convey, "I have no time for you."

3. Always use a descriptive subject heading to increase your chances of being read.

4. Salutations like: "Hi Rarbara" give a personal touch when writing to individuals.

5. Don't write in all capital letters as it's the e-mail equivalent of SHOUTING.

6. Always sphelchek!

7. Billboard yourself with an automatic "see my web page" link.

8. Don t hit the send button right away. Instead, save a draft and come back to it. It will help you be more clear, and protects you from saying something you'll regret later.

9. Don t spam. Spammers are the annoying computer equivalent to telemarketers.

10. Don't send chain letters or unnecessary large attachments. No one likes them.

11. Learn the most useful e-mail features like automatic signature, Out-of-Office Assistant, and automatic distribution lists. Learn the difference between clicking '"Reply, "Reply to All." and "Forward.*'

12. Set your program for the subject line to be presented first, so you can delete e-mails without having to open them.

13. Categorize and colorize your groups to make it easy to prioritize importance and order of response. For example, personal correspondence can appear in red and go into a red inbox, business contacts appear in green and go into a green inbox, etc.

14. Unless you're in business for yourself, don't use your work e-mail address for personal communication of a sensitive nature. To avoid problems with the boss, maintain a separate address.

"I'm not new," she quickly corrected me.

"I'm sorry/" I apologized. "I haven't met you before, so I assumed you were new. How long have you been here?''

"Three weeks."

"Three weeks, * I repeated. "Well, I guess that seems like a long time/ I settled in for what I knew was going to be an interesting conversation. "So, how can I help you?"

Susan crossed her legs once and then again in the other direction. "I have an investor," she started, "and he wants to buy big hotels in New York."

"Oh, that's good news," I said. "I can certainly help you with that. Til call the two largest commercial firms and get you the name of their best broker who specializes in hotel sales. Who's your customer, Susan?"

"A conglomerate," she answered abruptly.

"Okay, then, Susan," I said, "you don't have to give me the name, but you should know that you'll have to give them your customer's name if you want to collect a referral commission. They'll probably pay you twenty or maybe even twenty-five percent of their commission, and on a hotel sale that could be sizable."

Susan leaned forward in her seat. "No," she said firmly. "I plan to sell them myself."

"Susan, although I can appreciate that, youVe only been with us for three weeks, so you might not know that the commercial sales business is a whole different kettle of fish than residential sales. Our company sells apartments and town houses, because that's our expertise. I'm afraid you d be doing yourself, our company, and. most important, your customer a disservice if you tried to help them yourself. But if you refer them, you'll have the best two commercial firms in New York working for your customer."

"Thank you." She smiled and left my office to go out and totally ignore my advice.

"Fm telling you, Barbara, this lady is going to get us in trouble," Susan's sales manager fretted to me by phone. "She's calling every big hotel owner in town, asking them to sell their property to her mystery client, and leaving a wake of complaints in her path. She has absolutely no idea what she's talking about, and she won't listen. I think you should do something about her, Barbara, because everything about her spells trouble."

Susan's manager told me she had hired her because Susan was very aggressive and seemed eager to learn. But within her few short weeks at the company, she had succeeded in alienating the entire office; the others saw her as different and resented her know-it-all attitude.

Her manager reported that Susan wasn't interested in learning her real estate ABCs. She knew exactly what she wanted, which was to jump from A to Z. And she got lucky by snagging a big conglomerate referral when she listed her own house for sale in Brooklyn.

I waited two days to get an appointment, and when she finally prowled into my office, it was clear to me that I was either going to have to fire her or let her do exactly as she pleased.

"So, Susan, how's it going?" I pleasantly inquired.

"I want you to call Donald Trump for me," she answered. "My client wants to buy the Plaza Hotel."

"Ohkaaay," I said. "But you need to tell me something about your client, Susan."

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like where he's from," I said.

i long Kong," she aggressively snapped back.

"And who exactly are they?" I persisted.

"A conglomerate."

"Listen, Susan, I need to know more than that. I'll need to know that they're legitimate buyers before I can make any calls for you."

"They're for real,"' she stated conclusively, looking around the room as if I were wasting her time.

At the last toss of her hair, I was beginning to relish the thought of firing her. I leaned back in my chair, trying to arrive at the right solution.

I tried to put my dislike for Susan aside and had to acknowledge that anyone who was so dogged in holding on to a client probably did have a big fish on the end of the line. And by witnessing how aggressive she was, I figured she would somehow find a way to reel it in.

But I knew I couldn't have Susan running around town alienating the commercial property owners and risking my reputation in the process. Susan was way out of her league. She didn't know a damn thing about selling commercial property. In fact, Susan and The Corcoran Group had no right whatsoever dabbling in someone else's market.

Spring. Chicky Dayock 's house.

"Barbara Ann," Mom said, "Chicky Dayock is a very nice woman, and you have nothing to be afraid of. Besides," she added as she put the stuffed peppers into the oven and slammed the door shut, "you have just as much right as anybody else to win that thousand dollars."

"But what do I have to do?" I asked, not having a clue what a "Good Citizen Award" might entail.

"Just get your bike and ride up to her house. Make sure you're on time." And with that, my mother sent me off to Mrs. Dayock's house to compete for the Edgewater Women's Democratic Club's Good Citizen Award.

Mrs. Dayock was clearly the fanciest lady in Edgewater. Besides being the club's president, she was also the mother of Grace Dayock, an Edgewater girl who, unlike me, had made it onto the cheerleading

squad and into the upper ranks of popularity at Leonia High School.

When I got there, Mrs. Dayock showed me into her dining room and introduced me to two other ladies who were sipping tea from the tiniest cups I had ever seen. They held their pinkies high, and I wondered why all three ladies were wearing the same color nail polish. With their bouffant Jackie Kennedy hair and trendy outfits, they looked a lot more sophisticated than my mother. But they didn't look as nice.

Mrs. Dayock offered me the seat opposite them and began, "So, dear, what do you think makes a good citizen?"

"A good citizen?" I repeated, fixing my smile to hide my overbite.

"Yes, dear, a good citizen."

"Well ..." I began, searching my head for the answer to Mrs. Dayock's riddle. M nice person?'"

"Yes," she nodded, and prompted, "a nice person and ..."

I thought for a moment about what else might make a good citizen and decided, "Just a nice person, that's all."

"Oh, that's very nice, dear," Mrs. Dayock said as she nodded toward the two other ladies, who nodded back. Mrs. Dayock stood up and gestured toward the door. "We appreciate your coming, dear." Needless to say, mv pontification on good citizenry did not win me the thousand dollars.

When I got home from Chicky Dayock's, I assaulted my mother with my tale of woe. "I'm mortified, Mom, just mortified," I sputtered. "Everyone there acted like they were much better than me. And now Mrs. Dayock is going to tell Grace about my stupid answer, Grace will tell the cheerleaders, and the cheerleaders will tell the whole school! I knew I shouldn't have gone. I just knew it!"

Mom threw up her hands. "Enough," she said. "Barbara Ann, just get over yourself! Whether you won or lost isn't even important. What's important is that you had the right to be there. Period. Besides, taking yourself that seriously will only give you a heart attack."

Susan crossed her legs and shifted in her chair impatiently. Then it hit me. Susan Cara was simply a rougher version of me. She was hungry, passionate, and desperately trying to fill in the blanks.

"Okav. Susan/ I said. "Since your customer is for real, and since you need help in getting access to commercial property owners, let me suggest you talk to Carrie Chiang."

"Who's she?" she snapped.

"Carrie Chiang is the number one broker in this firm/' I said, 'as well as the number one broker in all of Manhattan. She can get you your appointment with Mr. Trump and with any other commercial developers you need access to. Commercial developers wont give you the time of day, Susan, but they'll give it to Carrie. I'd be happy to walk you over to her desk and introduce you right now if you like."

I knew a woman like her would find the immediacy of my offer appealing and she followed me through the sales area over to Carrie's section. Every salesperson turned, their eyes following her red plaid Chanel suit as her hips swayed side to side in the unmistakable age-old message that screamed, "Come and get it!"

Carrie s office was a frenzy of activity. Like a taxi dispatcher, she was working three phones at once while two assistants shuffled files. We watched and waited for a break. When Carrie finally looked up she said, 'Hi. Baa-bwa, what you got?"

"Susan," I answered, "and she wants to meet with Donald Trump. Susan has a big investor from Hong Kong that is interested in the Plaza Hotel."

"Who your investor?" Carrie asked point-blank.

"Polylinks Corporation," Susan answered.

"Daniel Yiu or Jefferson Wu?" Carrie shot back.

Susan was startled. "Both," she answered slowly, squinting her eyes and trying to size Carrie up.

Carrie pushed a chair at Susan and commanded, "Sit down!"

That's how the partnership began. Susan Cara, from Queens, representing Polylinks Corporation from Hong Kong, and Carrie Chiang, from Hong Kong, representing Donald Trump from New York. And both salespeople representing The Corcoran Group.

January 1994. The Plaza Hotel.

Susan, Carrie, and I stood outside the Plaza Hotel waiting for Donald Trump. I was six months pregnant and feeling a little too bloated to be standing in high heels hustling a deal. A swarm of Plaza employees buzzed about on high alert, making all the necessary preparations. In the midst of all the pomp and circumstance, I felt a bit like a pauper about to witness the king's arrival at the palace gates.