Ignite (25 page)

Zeke

I couldn’t help but notice that she’d been unusually tired the past few mornings we hung out. When I hadn’t seen her outside on the steps when I got home for the fourth night in a row, I was disappointed, but not really surprised. I listened for her to come out, but as midnight came and went without her, I figured she was in for the night and forced myself to sleep. When my phone began to ring just after one, I definitely didn’t expect it to be her.

“Addie? You okay?”

“Yeah,” she answers, the sound of loud music making her speak louder than normal. “I’m really sorry to call you so late, but Chad isn’t answering his phone.”

“It’s okay,” I say, sitting on the edge of my bed. “What’s up?”

“A few days ago, I got a job,” she starts. “My car was acting weird on my way in, so I went to check it on my break and now it won’t start.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t know you started working,” I say, rubbing my eyes awake.

“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay,” I yawn. “I’ll come get you. You just have to tell me where.”

“Okay,” she says, letting out a sigh. “Do you know where Déjà vu is?”

“The strip club?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I know where it is,” I answer, waiting for her to continue. “What about it?”

“That’s it, Zeke,” she says with hesitation. “That’s where I work.”

***

As I pull into the packed parking lot, I somehow manage to find her car and pull into a spot nearby, letting out a nervous sigh. She told me she still had another hour in her shift so I wasn’t surprised to find her Volvo empty. Looking down at my cell, I debate walking in or waiting out here.

On one hand, I don’t want her to have to walk out here by herself. On the other, I didn’t know if I could handle whatever I’d find her doing once I got inside.

I’m not a judgmental prick. I never agreed with the whole stigma behind women dancing for money. Their body, their choice and all that. However, the thought of Addie taking her clothes off for anyone else makes my stomach turn.

After steadying my nerves, I pull the door open as Nicki Minaj comes pouring out. Heading to the bar as I avoid looking at the stage, I look down at my cell and cringe when I see she’s got forty minutes left before closing. If she’s still working, that means she’s either going onstage or working the floor.

“Fuck!” I groan, taking a seat at the bar as I try to mentally prepare myself for the next hour of my life.

“Hey,” I hear, her soft voice pulling me back. Looking up, I’m shocked and relieved to find her behind the bar. “Thanks for…”

“Oh thank God,” I blurt out, watching her eyes, heavier with makeup than I’d ever seen them, grow softer as I backpedal. “I’m sorry, I thought…”

“It’s okay,” she cuts me off, throwing me a wink. “You should have known better, though. I don’t shake this ass for just anyone.”

“Addie!” a girl calls from the other end of the bar, pulling her attention from me.

As she moves behind the bar, I can’t keep my eyes off her. She’s wearing a pair of short, skin tight black shorts that have the cheeks of her ass hanging out. The tiny pink tank top is closer to the size of a bra and does little to cover her full cleavage. Letting my eyes wander over her exposed stomach, the diamond hanging from her bellybutton has my mouth going dry. When she’s done filling the drink order for the waitress at the end of the bar, she tends to a customer before returning to me.

“You want a beer or something?”

“Sure,” I nod and watch her reach for a bottle, popping the cap off and handing it to me. When I try to hand her money, she pushes it back.

“Nope,” she says, shaking her head. “I got it.”

“Addie…”

“You’re doing me a favor,” she argues before smirking. “Besides, I owe you a drink anyway. I missed your birthday.”

“Thanks,” I smile, taking a long pull from the beer and savoring the way it washes over my tongue.

“You’re welcome,” she says, leaning against the edge of the bar. “Once we close, it shouldn’t take long to clean up.”

“No problem,” I say, watching her let out a long sigh. “You okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” she says, scraping her black nail polish. “Just worried about my car. My boss said I can leave it here until I can get it towed tomorrow, but I have no idea where to take it. I think the alternators out and I’m on the next five nights so I have to get it fixed,” she continues. “Glamorous as it is, I can’t really afford to lose this job, ya know? At least not until I find something better.”

“Well, I can help you fix your car, Addie,” I tell her, watching her eyes light up. “I mean, I don’t know a lot, but I can handle an alternator.”

“Seriously?”

“Of course,” I chuckle. “What time do you work tomorrow?”

“Seven to three.”

“Okay,” I nod. “Well, if it’s not fixed before then, I’ll get you to work and pick you up.”

“Oh my God, thank you!” she says, leaning over the bar and pulling me in for a hug, her lips on my cheek sending shockwaves through me. “Sorry,” she blushes, pulling away slightly.

“Don’t be,” I whisper as I tuck her short hair behind her ear and hold her eyes.

As her hot breath hits my lips, it takes everything inside me to not kiss her. I want her so fucking bad, I’d be lying if I said I’m not thinking about taking her mouth right here.

“Addie,” I manage, her lips less than an inch away from mine as my name leaves her in a pant. “Zeke…”

“Addie!” A deep voice making her jump as it calls out loudly from the other end of the bar.

Reluctantly, she pulls away from me and swallows hard as she takes a couple steps toward the large, stocky man trying to gain her attention.

“Yeah?” she says, her voice shaky.

“Last call and you’re up,” he says.

“What? Why? I thought y’all had it covered!”

“Sorry sugar. One of the girls had to leave early,” he shrugs. “Trip’s about to hit the alarm.”

“Okay,” she nods, facing me nervously when he turns away and letting out a sigh. “Zeke…”

“It’s okay,” I say, swallowing my pain as I shake my head. “I shouldn’t have…”

“No! It’s not that at all,” she cuts me off immediately, shaking her head quickly as she grabs my arm. “Please don’t think that I’m not okay with…”

“Addie!” the other bartender calls over to her, making her nod back.

“Shit!” she curses, struggling to collect her thoughts as her words send my mind reeling. “It’s just…”

“What?” I ask, watching the regret wash over her face as an alarm sounds out over head and I watch her swallow hard.

“Please don’t think any less of me after this,” she begs, as the deejay announces last call. “Say you swear.”

“I swear,” I promise as the deejay announces last call and she gives me a small nod.

Pouring herself a shot of tequila, she waits for the nod from the other bartender and watches her hit a button that controls a strip of strobe lights above the bar. Tossing the shot back, the server she’d been talking to earlier calls over.

“You ready?”

“Yeah,” she yells back before tossing the shot back pulling herself up onto the bar in one swift movement.

“Last call for ten dollar body shots at the main bar until the end of this track!” the deejay announces, making my blood run cold.

In the next minute, ‘Shots’ by LMFAO starts blaring and the bar is rushed. As Addie lies back, the girl behind the bar lines up shot glasses and fills them. Lining them up across the bar, I watch as men take their turn draining the shot glasses from between her tits before licking the salt from the other girls stomach.

By the time the song ends and she climbs off the bar, her top is completely soaked, her nipples peeking through.

“I can’t believe you don’t love that, Addie,” the other girl says as she climbs down behind her. “We just made like three bills apiece!”

Not responding, she speaks to the other bartender who nods quickly and pats her shoulder. Walking back toward my end, she washes her arms off in the sink and calls over to me, refusing to meet my eyes.

“I’ll be done in about ten minutes,” she says.

I give her a nod, not sure what to say as I take in her expression. Before I can come up with anything, she shuts off the water and clears her throat before disappearing into the back in silence.

***

When she comes back out, she sets her bag on the bar beside me and speaks to the other bartender quickly before taking her cut of the tips. Thanking her, she makes her way around the bar to where I’m still waiting.

“Ready?” I ask quietly and she nods, still looking down as she tucks her money into her purse.

Leading her out, I walk her to my car and open the door for her, watching her tuck herself inside before I lock her in. Making my way around the back of the car, I slip behind the wheel and crank the engine, hating the silence from her side.

Seeming to read my thoughts, her soft, low voice fills the car as I pull onto the highway.

“Zeke?”

“Hmm?”

“If I ask you something, do you promise you’ll tell me the truth?”

“Of course,” I answer her. “I always tell you the truth.”

“I know,” she says softly, letting out a sigh. “But you always try to protect me, too and your answer might hurt me. I need you to tell me the truth anyway.”

“No, I don’t think any less of you, Addie,” I say as I pull up to the light, knowing the question before she asks. “My feelings for you could never change.”

Addie

It took a few days to get my car fixed, but Zeke kept his word and made sure I got to work and home every night. Since I’d started working, I’d been able to start repaying my dad’s debt to Chad and thankfully, back in my own bed.

Since the first night he’d come to the club and he almost kissed me, things had been a little different between Zeke and me, but not in a bad way. We hadn’t gotten back together, but for the first time I had hope that we could.

Knowing I’m less than halfway through my arrangement with Chad, I can’t push anything right away with Zeke. As badly as I want him and as much as I think he wants me in return, I can’t let him get wrapped up in the drama that is my current life.

The possibility that things could be headed that way had more than lit a fire under my ass to get Chad paid off. I’d been eager before, there’s no doubt about that. Hearing the way Zeke spoke my name, the way his breath washed over my skin as he hovered in front my lips that night for the first time in two years…

It has me desperate.

Between the full-time hours I’m given and the luck I’ve had picking up extra shifts, today is the first full day I’ve had off in two weeks. Although I hated the job and was more exhausted than I’d ever been, I was itching to get back behind the bar. Last night when I got home, I was thrilled to find that my hard work was paying off.

After adding in the amount of money I’d had in savings, which wasn’t much, to the tips I’d managed to pull in, I had five thousand dollars. I hadn’t seen Chad much the past couple of weeks due to our conflicting schedules, but I’d be seeing him tonight.

Nervous as I was about talking to him, I had a plan.

If it worked, I’d be waiting for Zeke on the steps when he came home from work tonight and I’d tell him everything.

Giving the sauce a quick stir, I check the pasta and add the finishing touches to the salad before setting it in the fridge. As I hear the front door swing open, I pop the cork on a bottle of red wine so it can breathe.

“Addison?” Chad calls out, making my stomach turn with nerves.

“Yes?” I answer, trying to keep the shake from my voice. “I’m in the kitchen.”

“I’m surprised you’re here,” he says, setting his keys onto the bar and making his way to the fridge for a beer.

“I had the day off,” I reply, giving him a small smile. “Dinner will be ready within twenty minutes.”

“Perfect,” he nods.

While he takes a shower, I set the table and prepare for my nerve wracking pitch, praying like I’ve never prayed before that it works. When he walks back out, I feel him watching my movements before I see him.

“Oh!” I jump, clutching my chest. “You scared me. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Sorry,” he says in a flat tone.

“It’s okay,” I say, steadying my breathing before moving my attention back to our supper. Reaching over, I grab the bottle of wine I’ve set out and look over at him. “Would you like some wine?”

“Sure,” he says. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I answer. “Dinner is ready.”

“Good,” he says, leaning over expectantly and giving me a small nod of approval when I give him a very quick, tightlipped kiss.

Getting settled at the table, we begin to make small talk. Chad tells me about some rims he’s having installed on his truck and I’m hoping the boredom isn’t obvious on my face. Normally, I don’t care about that, but tonight I need to make sure he’s in a good mood before I talk to him.

“So how has work been?” I ask, surprising him.

“Fine,” he says before setting his fork down and sipping from his wine. “You?”

And there’s my cue.

Zeke

When I pull up to our building after my shift, I’m surprised to find her sitting at the bottom of our steps in her usual spot. I knew she had the day off, but she’s been picking up shifts like crazy, so I half expected her to be at work.

She’s leaning back, headphones in place and gazing above us at the stars. She’s wearing a hot pink tube top with an oversized black tank top over it, black shorts and bare feet. Her shorter blonde hair is a mess from lying on the steps and her eyes flutter closed as she lazily taps her bronze foot to the beat.

She’s the closest I’ve seen to my Addie in two years.

I’m convinced she doesn’t know I’m here, staring down at her like a creeper until she breaks the silence and effectively, my trance.

“Hey,” she says, opening her eyes and giving me a small smile. “Wanna sit?”

“Sure,” I reply, returning her smile and taking a seat on the steps beside her. “What are we listening to?”

“Kid Cudi,” she says, plucking one of the earbuds from her ear and handing it to me.

Slipping it into my ear, I lean back and take in the sounds of ‘Pursuit of Happiness.’ I can tell she’s got something on her mind, but I also know she’ll tell me when she’s ready and so I wait, my mind wandering and just enjoying her closeness.

When I hear her begin to softly sing along, whispering along with him about halfway through, her voice sounds just as much a plea as his. Glancing over, I take in the look of despair on her face and my heart clenches in my chest.

“Hey,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

When she doesn’t answer me, I trace my finger over the hand she’s resting closest to mine in an attempt to gain her attention. Surprising me, she reaches for my hand and entwines her fingers with mine. As I close my fingers over hers, she squeezes my hand hard, sending a familiar spark through me. The slight jerk of her chest pulls my eyes back to hers. The way she’s turned away has her face hidden from me, but the gentle sob that leaves her lips can’t be mistaken.

I’ve known this woman most my life. Aside from a few details, I know everything there is to know about Addie Greyson and her emotions are no exception.

I’ve seen her laugh hysterically, angry in ways that would scare the devil himself, in the deepest throws of passion… you name it. In the near thirteen years I’ve known her though, I’ve never seen her cry like this.

“Addie,” I start, my low voice slightly louder than before as I squeeze her hand in mine. “What’s the matter, baby?”

Shaking her head, she places her free hand over her stomach, bracing herself for the next sob that racks through her body. When it hits her, she squeezes her eyes shut tight, letting out a soft whimper. It only grows louder, more anguished as I lean over brush my fingertips over her cheek.

I’m about to speak again, beg her to tell me what happened to upset her so much, but before I can, she cuts me off.

“I can’t even imagine what you think of me right now… I can’t say that after everything that I blame you for any of it,” she starts, the shake in her voice making my heart clench. “But I need to know that you know I’m not this girl.”

“Addie… Baby, what are you talking about?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” she manages, gasping for breath as sobs overtake her completely.

“What? What can’t you do anymore, sweetheart?”

“My life,” she cries. “I can’t live this traitor life anymore. I can’t wake up one more day feeling like a fraud, living a counterfeit existence that I never even wanted... I can’t do it, Zeke…”

Her breath leaving her in gasps breaks my heart. I don’t know what she’s talking about, but in this instant, it just doesn’t matter. My broken heart, her shitty boyfriend, our time apart… It all takes back seat as I pull her to my chest and hold her close.

“Come here,” I whisper, kissing her temple as she tightens her grip on my neck. “It’s okay, Addie. I’m here, baby. I’m not letting you go.”

Addie

As Zeke lifts me into his arms, I wrap myself around him as he walks me up the steps. I tried my best to hold myself together, I really did. Even after Chad totally shot down my deal, I didn’t cry. The second I saw Zeke, though, it all came to the surface.

Not just today, not even just the past month of my hellacious living situation, it was everything. Every no-good, shitty thing in my life assaulted my mind and the only person who could fix it is the one who isn’t mine anymore.

Finally, I snapped.

Coming to a stop at the top of the stairs, he rubs my lower back consolingly and turns to whisper into my ear while I continue to fall apart.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“I don’t have one,” I admit, crying harder as he tightens his grip on me.

“You’ll never have that problem, Addie,” he promises, turning toward his door and kissing my cheek as he carries me inside.

Tossing our things onto the coffee table, he sits on the couch and leaves me wrapped around him still sobbing into his shoulder. He doesn’t say much, just holds me tight through my long overdue breakdown, promising I’ll be okay. It’s enough.

Eventually, I take a breath. I pull away and sit back on his lap, still facing him as he instinctively rests his hands on my hips. I’m still crying, but my uncontrollable sobs have slowed to mostly silent tears. Holding my eyes, he releases his grip on one side and squeezes the other.

“Come here,” he whispers, using the bottom of his shirt to dry my tears.

Gently, he sweeps the cotton over my face, holding my eyes with his own. Although the tears keep coming, he manages to get me cleaned up before replacing his hand on my hip.

“Thanks,” I sniff, watching him nod as he squeezes my hips.

“You’re welcome,” he says softly, letting out a low sigh. “Let’s hear it, Add. What’s goin’ on?”

Shaking my head I start to resist, convinced telling him everything at this point will only make things harder, but he won’t have it.

“Zeke…” I start, but he quickly cuts me off.

“No more secrets, baby,” he says, his voice quiet. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Thinking about where to start, I feel the anxiety hitting me like a brick. Instinctively, I begin chipping away at my nail polish, stopping only when he grabs my hand.

“I’m scared,” I admit as I find his eyes.

“Don’t be scared,” he says softly. “I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you, Addie.”

“That’s not what I’m scared of.”

“Then what is it?”

“You,” I whisper, watching his eyebrows furrow in confusion. “I’m scared once I tell you, you’re never going to want to see me again.”