I'll Remember You (Hell Yeah!) (9 page)

“What will happen to them?” Alessandra asked.

“Only what they deserve.” Martina smiled.

Watching her, Austin realized he knew her not at all. She had changed before his eyes, morphing from a woman to a predator. He didn’t understand. Why was she being so cold and uncaring? He wondered if he was imagining the malice. He didn’t think so. Every part of him rebelled at the idea, but he had the distinct impression those men wouldn’t live to see the sunset.

***

Los Banos – The next day

He had to get away from the house. Austin felt as if he were choking on a cloud of confusion. More and more he was realizing he didn’t belong here. Something wasn’t right. The urge to just leave, walk off was more than overwhelming. He thought about stealing the keys and just driving away. The only problem was, he didn’t trust his driving yet. He hadn’t been cleared to drive and his headaches were still achingly persistent. But just as soon as he was given a clean bill of health by his doctor, he was out of here. Engagements could be broken. He was grateful for Tomas and Martina for saving his life, and he would pay them back, but not with his future. That belonged to him.

Heading across the manicured lawn, he made his way to the barn. The smell and sounds of the horses seemed to be a comfort to his soul. As he entered the dim interior, he heard a man softly humming. Walking closer, he saw a vaquero brushing down a white mare. He was crooning to it, gentling her when her every instinct seemed to tell her to dance away. “Easy girl. Easy.”

Austin didn’t want to startle the horse, so he hung back until the man finished and returned the animal to its stall. “Hello. That’s one fine looking animal.”

Looking over his shoulder, the vaquero smiled. “I heard you back there. Yes, Reina is beautiful. But she is selfish. She demands my attention every day.” He filled her trough with oats and gave her fresh water. “How are you feeling, Mr. Wade?”

Austin felt at a disadvantage. It was obvious this man knew him, but he didn’t have equal knowledge. “I’m much better.” And that was true, he did feel much improved. Like the horse, he needed to run and expend energy. There was a coiled urgent impulse to act, to rectify. Only he didn’t know which direction he should take—not yet.

“Good. I’m glad to see you on your feet.” The big man smiled at him. “Alessandra told me of your troubles.”

The way he said her name told Austin volumes. There was tenderness in his tone. Ah, now he knew who Martina’s sister had been waiting on the other day. “You’re American.” He stated the obvious.

“So are you.”

An odd knowing smile was on the other man’s face. Austin got the feeling this stranger had the answers he needed. But he also knew he would have to approach him carefully. “I think you’re right.”

“My name is Brock Phillips.”

They shook hands. “Austin Wade, so they say. You couldn’t prove it by me.”

“No memories returning, yet?” Brock seemed to be choosing his words carefully.

“Not any I can make sense of.” They were dancing around something. Austin just wasn’t sure what it was.

“Be careful,” Philips stated flatly. “The Patrona is a difficult woman to love, I’m sure.”

Austin laughed harshly. “You have to understand something about me and ‘the Patrona’.” He said the name with emphasis. “I don’t remember anything. These people, all of them, are strangers. This place is not my home. Hell, I don’t even know my own name. Are we friends?” Austin pointed in between the two of them.

The cowboy turned his back and began to put up the curry comb and a blanket on a shelf against the wall. “I’d like to be your friend.”

At the other man’s admission, it was as if a damn broke inside Austin. He had held it in so long, he needed to talk to someone. “This is like the twilight zone for me, Brock. I don’t know which end is up. Martina says she is my fiancé, but I feel more of a connection to Tomas than I do her.”

Philips turned around, looked to the right and then to the left, as if he were making sure they were alone. “You and I need to have a long talk soon, somewhere off this ranch. There are eyes everywhere. But I want to protect Alessandra before this place goes up like a keg of dynamite.”

Austin didn’t understand. “Go up like a keg of dynamite? What do you mean?”

“No. We can’t talk here, I said.”

“All right, I hear you. How about we go out for a beer tonight? Surely there’s a cantina nearby?”

Brock continued to talk low. “Can you leave the ranch?”

Narrowing his eyes, Austin looked at his new friend. “Can I leave the ranch? Why shouldn’t I be able to leave? I’m not a prisoner.”

A wry laugh from Philips made the hair stand up on the back of Austin’s neck. “No, I suppose not. If you say so. Let’s do it. Eight sound good?”

“Yes. I’ll meet you down by the garage. We’ll have to take your vehicle.” Looking at his watch, Austin noted the date. “Thanksgiving isn’t far away. Shoot, it will be another three weeks before I’m cleared to drive.” The image of a pick-up came in his head. A Ford. He drove a dark blue Ford pick-up. Now, that was progress.

“Great. I look forward to it. What will you tell Señorita Martina about our meeting?”

“Why, I’ll tell her the truth. What else?”

Austin returned to the house and went up to his room to take a shower. No one seemed to be about, thank God. Of course there were always the ever-present guards standing on the front porch, rifle in hand. At first, he’d tried to reason that out and the best he’d been able to come up with was where the ranch was located and the likelihood of people coming through on their way to the US border, like they had the other day. He knew violence was prevalent down here. Drugs were everywhere and the cartels were powerful. But still, all of the weapons being bandied about seemed to be over-kill in his mind.

Staring in the mirror, he noticed his hair was growing back over the bald spot where he’d had the operation. All in all, Austin was becoming more and more used to himself. At first, he’d looked at his own hands as if they belonged to a stranger. In many ways, he felt like an imposter. No matter how hard he tried, his past always eluded him.

Picking up his shaving kit, he stared at it, trying to remember buying something so ostentatious. It was covered in silver. None of his things felt familiar, yet he wasn’t tempted to unpack the contents. He felt like a visitor. Opening it wide, he dug in the bag, and was surprised when his finger touched something cold and hard on the bottom. He pulled it out. It was a coin. A gold coin. Austin turned it over and over, looking at the image of a woman on the side, her delicate profile and long hair giving him an odd feeling of recognition.

Something seemed to come over him. He could see underwater, like he was swimming. And then he saw a cave and a glimmer on the floor. A flashback ripped through his mind, causing an abrupt shaft of pain to seize his temples. He remembered! He’d found this coin while diving. A feeling of excitement overcame him. But it wasn’t just the event he remembered, it was the feeling, the significance.

Again, he stared at the coin. Something about the woman stamped into the side was familiar. He stared at it. Who are you? He ran his hand over the grooves, over the profile. “Speak to me, beautiful. Tell me your name.” Pressing the coin to his lips, he wondered at its significance. Did it belong to her? Clasping it tightly in his palm, he squeezed it, then raised it to his lips and kissed it. “I want to remember. I want to come home.” Carefully, he placed the coin on the vanity table, shed his clothes and climbed beneath the spray. Once there, he cleansed his body, letting his mind wander freely. How many women had he known? His whole life was like a faded canvas where a detailed scene had once been painted. But the sun had beat down on it and faded the colors to just a vague pale outline. The tapestry of his life had become unraveled and he didn’t know how to reknit the strands.

Leaning against the cool tile, Austin let the warm water sluice over him. It wasn’t something he understood, but his body longed for someone he couldn’t place. If he closed his eyes, he could feel her touch. Letting his mind meld with his dreams, he could feel her—she was here. Standing right behind him. Her lips, just those sweet, plump lips, placed a kiss right in the center of his back. He groaned, his cock immediately responding. Softly, she began to touch him, running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms. Austin held his breath as she stepped closer. Now he could feel her stiff little nipples grazing the skin of his back. Little licks ran all over his shoulders. If he was really still, he could feel her teeth graze his skin. She wanted him. “Touch me, please,” he begged.

A lilting laugh made his heart race. And when he felt her palms rub down his arms, and her breasts press flat against him, he pushed back, needing more contact. “You’re ripped. I love to touch you. I hunger for you. I ache,” she purred.

“Don’t torture me,” he growled.

He shuddered when her hands skated under his arms and came around to massage his pecs. She was driving him mad, rubbing his muscles, paying special attention to his nipples. Austin threw his head back, turning his face to find her lips. Their mouths crashed together and he got lost in her kiss. All the while, she petted him, molding his chest, pressing her luscious little body against his. “Please...” He was asking for something—anything.

And then she gifted him, letting her hand glide low until she made contact with his burgeoning erection. He was stone hard, leaking and aching for her touch. No one else would do. “Do you want me to stroke you, Cowboy?”

“God, yes,” he moaned. “I’ll die if you don’t. Ahhhh.” He sighed as her little hand grasped him, her fingers not quite meeting around his girth. And when she started to pump him, he almost lost his mind. She worked his cock, her lips and tongue still tracing erotic patterns on his back. Austin couldn’t keep his hips still. Helplessly, his hips bucked forward, needing to pound into her soft, wet pussy more than he needed life. “God, baby, this feels so good.”

“There is no one like you. No one,” she whispered. “I’ve loved you for so long. I’ll love you forever.”

Her words made his blood boil, the heat and desire rising in his balls, making him stand on tiptoe. God, he needed to cum. It had been so long—not since…Lord, he could remember how it felt to pound into her, how tight she was, how perfectly they fit together. “L…Love,” he cried as she jerked him off, the white, hot jets of semen splashing against the wall. Austin grunted, his whole body convulsing with ecstasy. For long moments, he pulsed, his heart pounding. Her hands slid from his body. Her touch evaporated in the steam. Austin let his cock go and collapsed against the wall, spent.

“I’ll remember you,” he promised. “I’ll remember you, or die trying.”

Getting out of the shower, he toweled off. God, it had felt good to masturbate. Most men would say he was crazy to forego the pleasures of fucking Martina, especially when she offered herself to him so blatantly. But something, or someone held him back. And it had to do with this coin…Austin picked it up and looked at it once more, all the while trying to force himself to remember more, but there seemed to be a dead-bolt on the gate to his memories.

Dressing in all black from denims, to a western jacket, hat and boots, he was ready to go. Before leaving the room, he put the coin in the front pocket of his pants. It seemed to comfort him, somehow. Heading down the stairs, he was surprised to see Martina coming through the door.

“Darling!” She ran to give him a kiss. He hated to be so indifferent, but Austin couldn’t shake the sense of betrayal every time he even casually touched her. There was someone else, somewhere who loved him, whom he adored. He was sure of it. He could feel it. 

“Martina.” He allowed the kiss on his cheek and gave her a smile. “You’re looking well.”

She seemed to bask in his faint praise. “Thank you.” She grabbed his hand. “Come with me to the kitchen. I have something I want to show you.”

He followed her, not willing to dampen her good spirits. “I want to talk to you about a few things, also. If you have the time.”

Martina looked at Aron McCoy. “You are one gorgeous man.” She ran an appreciative hand over the sleeve of the jacket. Her secretary had done a good job picking out clothes. Leaning in, she stole a kiss before he could even react. Tonight would be hard; she had to break the news to Alessandra that a marriage to Joaquin Rios would be the best for all concerned.

He didn’t respond, but he smiled, taking down a couple of coffee cups from the cabinet. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.” After Esteban had voiced his proposal, she had considered it. Conceivably, at some point in the future, the cartels could be united under her leadership. At the thought, she stood straighter. Now, all she had to do was bring Aron/Austin into the fold. Together they would be a formidable team. “I am so glad you’re with me,” she confessed, sending a little oración to the skies—and yes, she did still pray. Justifying her actions might be difficult, but providing for and protecting her family shouldn’t be a crime.

“I am very grateful you have taken care of me.” Austin was careful how he answered. He was grateful. If what she’d told him had all been true, Martina had saved his life. He could have drowned. Then he’d never find…never remember the woman who haunted his dreams.

She was feeling generous. “What did you want to speak with me about?” Adding sugar to both of their cups, she urged him to sit at the table with her. All she could think about was how it could always be this way, her and Aron, planning and sharing. And making love. A blush rose in her cheeks. She was going to go to his bed tonight. This time, he would not turn her away. She was sure of it.       

Austin took the coffee and considered how best to approach the topic. “I’m feeling better these days and I need to be more active. More useful. I want to work around the ranch. I want to help Tomas.”

Martina smiled, nodding her head. “That will not be a problem. It will make Padre very happy. You can be his foreman.” She knew Aron had an intuitive knowledge of ranch life. He had run Tebow with consummate skill and she had no doubt he would turn Los Banos into a true profit-making affair. Now, if she could just coax him into the cartel. “Anything else?”