He pushed his glasses up on his nose, that nervous tic telling me I was right.
“It was you in the Vault. The night of the gala. Not Lucian.”
I noticed for the first time that we were probably standing too close to the hotel. Smoke billowed all around. We could feel the heat emanating from the building and the soft misty spray of so much water pressure ricocheting off the ages-old façade from the fire trucks’ serpent-like hoses. Flames danced in the sky. He gazed up silently watching, then looked at me. He rested his shoulder and head wearily against the wall, still so close I could stop his words with another kiss without even having to move, but I let him talk first.
“Yeah, I followed you guys. I never trusted him—never thought he was right for you—even before we knew what he really was. So I followed you when you left the gallery. Then when the power went out, he disappeared and . . . I took a chance.”
“Yeah, well, I’m really glad you did.”
“I’m glad you’re glad.” He meant it too.
We both stared off for a moment, retracing the whole whirlwind from the past few months to the past few minutes.
“So, I guess this is why they say you remember prom forever,” I said finally.
“No kidding,” he said. “So, not to jinx anything, but I can’t help but notice that it’s after midnight and you’re still alive.” He shrugged, like it was just another casual observance.
My body received the news like an electric jolt.
“You’re right. How ’bout that?” I let it sink in. “But, I mean, I still feel kinda, I don’t know,
mortal.
Are we angels now? Am I an angel? Do you have any thoughts on this matter? I hope?”
“Well, you know, I got one more postcard message today . . .”
“Oh yeah? What did it say? Illuminate me.” I brushed off my dress. It had gotten beyond dirty, torn at the hem. I looked like I had been through a war zone—which was about right.
“Well, actually, it said to tell you—and I’m paraphrasing here—at the end of the night, if we were both still here that we’ve passed the first test toward full-fledged angelhood.”
“Okay . . .”
“And that apparently we’ll be notified when it’s time for the next test.”
My heart fell. “Oh . . . great. There’s another test.”
“Yeah. And also, I’m supposed to let you know that your ‘mystical powers’”—he made quotes around the words—“are becoming stronger, but to be patient with your physical powers because they’ll take longer to start up.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Yeah, I don’t know EXACTLY what that means—”
“Um, I just destroyed a pack of devils and outran a ball of fire.”
“Yeah, I’m guessing you did that all on your own.”
“Whoa.” I had to pause to recall exactly how I had done this. Confidence can do a lot for a girl, even misplaced confidence.
“Not sure if you noticed but we don’t have wings yet.”
“I’ll have to remember that.”
“Thanks, because if we’ve got another ‘test’ like this ahead of us, then I’m gonna need you there and all in one piece.”
I liked how he said that; I liked us as a team. “It’s a date.”
I looked out into the end of the alley, where it met the street. People were cordoned off from the building and I could see the edge of an ambulance, and the back of an EMT bandaging up someone sitting in back. He moved out of the way and Dante came into view. He caught me looking and smiled and waved, then pointed to a square of gauze being secured on his forehead. I frowned and he shooed his hand at me like he was fine. He pointed at the EMT, who was young, cute, and not facing Dante at the moment, and he nodded his head in approval. I nodded back. Lance tugged my wrist and pulled me back, kissing me again. As he did, rock-size pieces of the building crumbled down around us. Without unlocking ourselves, we slid over a few steps to avoid being pelted. But I pulled back just long enough to reach my arm up and catch one of the gold disks of the façade that had been hurtling right for us.
“Ow,” I said, shaking it now.
“Wow.” He looked up. “Good save.”
“Thanks.” I turned it over in my hands and held it out. “A souvenir.”
He took it and studied it. The disk was nicked, chipped, weatherworn, but the LH insignia was clear. “I think this is us. You know, I think I’m the
L.
You think?” He held it out, pointing to it.
I looked and nodded. I liked that. And he was; all along it had been him. “L, yes.” I smiled. He kissed me again, scooping me against him with one arm. The sirens and the fire and the people all around, none of it mattered right now.
Not all the remaining questions would be so easy to answer though. In the days that followed, Aurelia, Lucian, and all the very public and known members of the Outfit would be assumed burned to nothing in the fire and the people who had adored them and admired them from afar would accept this as fact because it was as mythic and mysterious as they had been themselves. But I still had so many mysteries left to be solved, and I couldn’t settle for such simple explanations. How many souls had been lost tonight? How many had we saved? Somewhere, there were more like Aurelia and I had that burning sense that they would find me or that I would need to find them. What more would I be called upon to do? And when would I finally learn about my past? But I would have to wait to discover these things. I would have to wait to make sense of so much. Right now, I took a deep, smoky breath as the sirens roared around us, Lance’s heart beating against mine, and I reveled in being alive.
Acknowledgments
Wow, I’ve been so lucky to have so many phenomenal people helping me grow my wings with this book. A few extra-special thank-yous:
To my amazing agent, Stéphanie Abou, for years—and years and years—of encouragement and friendship. I can’t thank you enough for always being there to listen, to read and offer advice, and to field my millions of questions. What can I say? You’re the best. And to the lovely Hannah Gordon and my friends at Foundry Literary + Media.
To my incredible editor, Julie Tibbott, for your laser-sharp eye and tremendous guidance. I’ve learned so much from you and I’m so grateful to have had you shining your light on
Illuminate!
And to the whole team at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for your support and hard work shepherding this book.
To the fantastic Stephen Moore, for your great enthusiasm and for helping the book reach an even larger audience.
To the brilliant and inspiring Richard Ford, for always having the perfect words of wisdom and for telling me to keep writing no matter what.
To my family for being the best cheering section a girl can ask for: my loving parents, Bill and Risa (who introduced me to all the great books as a kid); my fabulous sis (and trusted first reader!) Karen, for looking over those early drafts; and my wonderful in-laws Steve, Ilene, Lauren, Dave, Jill, and Josh.
To my unbelievably supportive friends for letting me talk your ears off about this book, with an extra shout-out to Sasha Issenberg, Jenny Laws, Ryan Lynch, Jessica Mehalic, Poornima Ravishankar, Anna Siri, Kate Stroup, Jennie Teitelbaum, Kate Zeller; and Eric Andersson, Albert Lee, Kevin O’Leary, Jennifer O’Neill, and all my pals at
Us Weekly.
To Brian, of course, for, well,
everything:
for your endless patience and love and for keeping me going through the marathon of writing this book.
And, finally, to you, the reader: Thank you so much for picking up this book and devoting some of your time to living in Haven Terra’s world. I so hope you’ve enjoyed reading these pages as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them!
Table of Contents
5. Welcome to the Ring of Fire
6. It’ll Probably Be Just Hideous
7. Everything Sinful Is Glamorous
9. That’s Not Quite How I Imagined Paradiso
10. You Will Be Spending a Good Deal of Time There
11. Tell Me You Forgive Me or I Won’t Let You Go
14. You Might Have a Dark Side
18. We Mustn’t Underestimate Her
24. Today Was . . . Unfortunate
25. We’ve Got to Do Something About Dante
32. We’ll Always Have Metamorfosi
33. You Have to Do This for Me
34. A Decline, Without Regrets