I'm Your Santa (3 page)

“I'd say it's a good thing you didn't marry Brandon.”

Sierra agreed with Grace. “For sure.” She patted Beth's hand. “You did the right thing.”

“I don't know.” In for a penny, in for a pound, Beth decided. “For those few days, I was shameless—and I loved every second. But now that I'm myself again, my behavior seems horrifying.”

“You were a virgin when you met Brandon, weren't you?”

There were times, Beth thought, when Grace proved very astute. “Yes.”

“When I met Noah, I was, too. But I just thought it was all really exciting.”

Sierra gave Beth a sympathetic look. “Did you think it was exciting with Brandon?”

Beth started to say yes, but she hesitated. “I don't know. Cementing our relationship was exciting. And the sex was pleasant—”

Grace made a face.
“Pleasant?”

Agreeing with her, Sierra said, “Brandon must've been a putz.”

Brooke sympathized. “I'm so sorry, honey. Before Levi, you probably didn't even realize that sex could and should be more.”

Beth decided that the conversation had veered too far off course. “The problem is that now I can barely look at Levi, but he won't give me any space. To hear him talk, you'd think we were engaged or something.”

“Ah.” Brooke pulled up a chair. “How so?”

Relieved to finally have someone to talk to, Beth blurted, “He says he always wanted me.”

Brooke's eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“He claims that he never said anything because he and Brandon have been friends since grade school. He didn't want to interfere between us.”

“Wow.” Grace let out a long sigh. “He put your feelings before his own. That's so romantic.”

“Levi sounds like a great guy,” Sierra agreed.

It struck Beth that he did sort of sound terrific—in an infuriating, devastating kind of way.

Sierra tilted her head. “So I'm dying to know—how did Brandon take it when you told him about Levi? Did you get your revenge?”

“I never told him.” Beth winced with that admission. “I
couldn't
tell him. Not because I care about Brandon still. I really don't. And isn't that weird? I mean, obviously I wouldn't marry a cheater, but shouldn't I still be a little brokenhearted or something?” She didn't give anyone a chance to reply. “I'm not. I'm too busy dealing with this new situation to barely give Brandon a thought. And what happened with Levi…well, it feels very private now. I don't want anyone to know, not even Brandon.”

Brooke smiled and took her hand. “Are Levi and Brandon still friends?”

“I don't know.” That was another worry keeping her awake at night. “Since I've been trying to avoid Levi, and I haven't answered Brandon's calls, I don't know what's happening between the two of them.”

“So,” Grace said, “Levi might have lost a longtime friend for you.”

“Maybe.” Guilt nudged at her. Had Levi been motivated by caring, and not just lust?

Sierra stood. “You know, I think you just need to face up to things.”

“Things?”

“How you feel about Levi. You have to decide that first, and then you can consider everything else.”

“I almost lost your father,” Brooke said, “because I didn't want to own up to my feelings for him.”

“Same here,” Sierra admitted. “I fought the idea of falling for Ben.”

Grace looked at them both and shrugged. “Not me. I wanted Noah, and that was that.”

Brooke grinned. “Beth should take a lesson from you, then.”

“It did work out in the most awesome ways,” Grace told her. “I say if you want Levi, then go for it.”

“But…what about Brandon?” What about her reputation and her life and her sanity?

Sierra snorted. “Forget Brandon. He had his chance and he blew it.”

And the rest? How did she forget the person she'd always thought herself to be, and just accept this new overly-sensual woman who threw caution to the wind?

Brooke squeezed her hand. “You said you didn't want anyone to know about you and Levi.”

“No, I don't.” And that was part of the problem. She could just imagine the gossip when everyone found out she'd jumped between best friends.

After glancing at the other women, Brooke gave her an apologetic smile that Beth didn't quite understand. “But you just told us.”

“That's because it was eating me up inside. And Levi did follow me here, so I had to explain somehow.”

Sierra caught on to Brooke's meaning. “You know, Levi could feel as conflicted as you do. Maybe he didn't mean for the one time to turn into a weekend marathon, either.”

Grace followed their insinuations. “Yeah, and he's sitting out there with Noah and Ben and Kent. And like you said, his appearance and behavior need to be explained somehow.”

Brooke nodded. “The same way that you told us, he could be telling them—”

“Oh my God.” Beth shot out of her seat. “He wouldn't.” She looked at the other women in a desperate bid for reassurance. “Please tell me he wouldn't.”

Brooke lifted her shoulders. “I'm sorry, honey, but your father loves you an awful lot. He'll want to know what has you upset. I'm not sure he'd let Levi get by without an explanation.”

“And,” Grace pointed out, “you did tell them to hurt him. He might not have a choice but to explain.”

“Oh. My. God.”
Beth spun around and raced from the kitchen. Surely, the men wouldn't hurt Levi. They had to know sarcasm when they heard it. They had to have some concepts of the working of the female mind. After all, her sisters-in-law and stepmother had just confessed to being very, very happy women.

With her heart in her throat, Beth plunged through the double dining doors, charged into the dining room—and slid to a frozen halt at the sight of the men in close, amicable conversation.

They were drinking coffee.

They were smiling.

Sierra, Grace, and Brooke almost plowed into Beth, and still she couldn't unglue her feet.

Had Levi told them everything? Had he blurted out about her awful, wanton behavior to her
family
?

Heat flooded into Beth's face so quickly, it made her lightheaded.

She'd pay the men to beat him up.

She'd beat him up herself.

She'd—

Levi looked up and saw her. “Finally.” Walking away from the male conversation, he strode toward her. As if he'd had his hands in it multiple times, his brown hair looked disheveled. Determination glowed in his green eyes. And that sensual mouth of his was set in a firm line.

When he reached her, Beth prepared to blast him with her ire.

But because he didn't stop before her, he didn't give her a chance. No, he just caught her wrist and kept right on going, towing her along with him.

“Levi!” She tried digging in her heels. “What are you doing?”

Without pausing in his exodus, he glanced over his shoulder and said, “Come along, Beth. Your brothers and father are curious enough without us putting on another show.”

If they were still curious, then did that mean…In a squeaky whisper, she asked, “You didn't tell them anything?”

He stopped, turned to stare down at her in what looked like anger, then leaned close so she'd hear his whisper. “Of course I didn't.”

Beth glanced around, saw they had the undivided attention of one and all, but she didn't think anyone could hear them. “Well, how was I to know? You're always trying to talk to me about it.”

“There's nothing that you and I can't talk about. But what's between us is just that—
between us
. It's private.” His eyes narrowed. “You should know better than to think I'd do anything to deliberately embarrass you.”

“I…” Beth closed her mouth and swallowed. Face up to things, Brooke had said. She nodded. “You're right. I should have realized that. I'm sorry.”

His eyes darkened even more, as if he didn't quite know what to make of any giving on her end.

“So.” Beth took another quick glance at their rapt audience, and smiled an apology to them. She'd put on more spectacles tonight than anyone should share in a lifetime. Hoping to make amends for doubting him, she asked Levi, “If you didn't tell my Dad the truth, what did you say to him?”

“Only that I'm going to marry you.”

Only
what
? New heat radiated through her. The world tilted. On a thin breath, she gasped out, “You didn't.”

“I did.” He smiled. “Because I am.”

“But…”

Done talking, Levi lifted her into his arms. “No buts.” He put a soft, fast smooch on her mouth. “Now come along quietly so we don't incite a riot with what I plan to say and do to you.”

Her body tightened. “Do to me?”

“That's right.” He glanced down at her. “And it's all best handled in private. Don't you agree?”

It took no more than that simple, sensual suggestion from Levi to have Beth melting in a dozen delicious ways. She might want to forget what transpired between them, but her body was in no hurry to give up the memory.

She gulped, thought again of Brooke's advice, and finally found her voice. “Yes, I suppose so.”

With each step he took, Levi pondered what to say to Beth. She needed to understand that she'd disappointed him.

Infuriated him.

Befuddled him and inflamed him.

In order to get a handle on things, he had to get a handle on her. He had to convince Beth to admit to her feelings.

He needed time and space to accomplish that.

Thanks to Ben's directions, Levi carried her through the kitchen toward the back storage unit, where interruptions were less likely to occur.

The moment he reached the dark, private area, Levi paused. Time to give Beth a piece of his mind. Time to be firm, to insist that she stop denying the truth.

Time to set her straight.

But then he looked at her, and he forgot about his important intentions. He forgot everything but his need for this one particular woman.

God, she took him apart without even trying.

Among the shelves of pots and pans, canned goods and bags of foodstuff, Levi slowly lowered Beth to her feet.

He couldn't seem to do more than stare at her.

Worse, she stared back, all big dark eyes, damp lips, and barely banked desire. Denial might come from her mouth, but the truth was there in her expression.

When she let out a shuddering little breath, Levi lost the battle, the war…he lost his heart all over again.

Crushing her close, he freed all the restraints he'd imposed while she was his best friend's fiancée. He gave free reign to his need to consume her. Physically. Emotionally. Forever and always.

Moving his hands over her, absorbing the feel of her, he tucked her closer still and took her mouth. How could he have forgotten how perfectly she tasted? How delicious she smelled and how indescribable it felt to hold her?

Even after their long weekend together, he hadn't been sated. He'd never be sated.

Levi knew if he lived to be a hundred and ten, he'd still be madly in love with Beth Monroe.

The fates had done him in the moment he'd first met her. She smiled and his world lit up. She laughed and he felt like Zeus, mythical and powerful. She talked about marrying Brandon and the pain was more than anything he'd ever experienced in his twenty-nine years.

Helpless, that's what he'd been.

So helpless that it ate at him day and night.

Then, by being unfaithful, Brandon had proved that he didn't really love Beth after all—and all bets were off.

When Beth came to him that night, hurt and angry, and looking to him for help, Levi threw caution to the wind and gave her all she requested, and all she didn't know to ask for.

He gave her everything he could, and prayed she'd recognize it for the deep unshakable love he offered, not just a sexual fling meant for retaliation.

But…she hadn't.

She'd been too shaken by her own free response, a response she gave every time he touched her.

A response she gave right now.

They thumped into the wall, and Levi recovered from his tortured memories, brought back to the here and now.

He had Beth.

She wanted him.

Until she grasped the enormity of their connection, he'd continue pursuing her.

Lured by the sensuality of the moment, Levi levered himself against her, and loved it. As busy as his hands might be, Beth's were more so. Small, cool palms coasted over his nape, into his hair, then down to his shoulders. Burning him through the layers of his flannel shirt and tee, her touch taunted him and spurred his lust.

Wanting her, right here and right now, Levi pressed his erection against her belly and then cradled her body as she shuddered in reaction, doing her best to crawl into him.

His mouth against hers, he whispered, “I need you, Beth.”

Beyond any real verbal response, Beth moaned and clutched at him.

And that gave him pause, because Levi knew she was with him—and he knew that she'd hate herself for it later.

Damn it.

Why did his conscience have to snap to life now? Why couldn't he have stayed in the sensual fog a little bit longer?

But he knew why; he loved Beth and he wanted her happy, not more humiliated. Until she admitted that it was love they shared, her embarrassment would continue. He had to remember that. He had to keep the ultimate goal—Beth as his wife—at the forefront of his every intention.

Lifting his mouth from hers, Levi whispered, “Beth, wait.”

Her mouth followed, seeking his again. She licked his bottom lip, pressed her breasts against him.

Holding her shoulders, Levi managed to put a small distance between them. “Honey, no, wait.”

Big sleepy eyes opened, heavy with lust, dark with desire. “I don't understand how you always make me feel this way.”

“I know.” He put his right hand to the back of her head and urged it to his shoulder. “But that's why we're here. So I can explain it to you.”

Both rigid and soft, anxious and needy, Beth willingly leaned into him, giving him the weight of her worry. His left hand on the center of her back registered each broken breath, just as his heart understood her confusion. He put his cheek to her crown and inhaled the scent of her silky blond hair.

Muscles prepared for her reaction, Levi said, “I want to marry you, Beth.”

As he expected, she almost lurched away.

“Shhh. I know that's something of a shock. You thought for so long that we were just friends. But it doesn't change anything—I want to marry you.”

Her silence felt like condemnation. Like the ultimate rejection. “There's something going on between us.” Something called love, but Levi didn't want to spook her. “You go wild when I touch you.”

“I know.” Her whole body trembled. “That's why you can't touch me.”

Her panic struck Levi like a low blow. “Wrong. It's why I
have
to touch you. It's the only time you're honest with me and with yourself.”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Now that we've been together, the feelings aren't going to go away. You may as well accept that.”

“There's nothing to accept.”

As if she hadn't spoken, Levi continued with his well-rehearsed speech. “You have to accept that Brandon doesn't love you.” The last thing Levi wanted was to see her hurt, but denying the truth would only spare her for so long. “If he did, he wouldn't have cheated.”

“I
know
that. I'm not an idiot.”

Relief closed Levi's eyes.

“But this…” Flattening her hands over Levi's chest, Beth tried to shove away.

Irritation brought his eyes open again, and he kept her secure.

“…has nothing to do with Brandon.”

“Of course it does.” Taking her shoulders in his hands, Levi stepped away so that he could see her face. “You're condemning yourself because Brandon fooled you. He had you believing that you were in love with him, and that he loved you, too. He convinced you that you'd share this picture-perfect life together.”

“And that was all a sham.”

“Because he misled you.”

“It's easy to fool a fool, apparently.”

Levi wanted to shake her, so instead he released her and turned his back. It took two deep breaths to steady himself and tamp down on his anger. “You are not a fool, Beth.”

“Then I'm a tramp.”

He whirled around and stared at her in furious disbelief. “What did you say?”

With one arm crossed over her middle, the other raised so she could rub her brow, Beth laughed without humor. “You said it yourself. I thought I was in love with Brandon. I slept with him, made plans with him. But even I have to admit I wasn't really in love with him, or I'd be more hurt by his betrayal.”

So she wasn't hurt. Levi considered that a very good thing.

Her gaze lifted to his, and she looked so lost and so ashamed, that Levi almost couldn't bear it. “Instead, all I can think about is the situation with you.”

“It's not a
situation
, damn it. It's a relationship.”

“A friendly relationship, or so I thought. But now…” She ducked her head and groaned. “I've known you for two years, Levi. And not once did I ever think of sleeping with you.”

“Liar.”

She drew back in affront. “I beg your pardon?”

Stalking closer, Levi said, “You've thought about it, honey. At least admit to that much.” Whether she'd ever planned to act on it or not, they'd been too close for her natural sensuality not to take over. “You've seen me at my worst, and at my best. We've swam together, danced together, laughed and complained together.”

“Always with Brandon there!”

“So?” As Levi advanced, Beth sidled away from the wall and backed up. Levi kept going—and so did she. “It didn't stop me from fantasizing about you.”

Her eyes widened.

“A lot. I never would have sabotaged your relationship with Brandon by acting on my fantasies, but you can bet your sweet little ass that you factored into my dreams on a regular basis.”

She shook her head, and continued backing away.

“It's human nature, Beth. Men find it impossible to block a sexy woman from their thoughts.” His gaze dipped to her heaving breasts, proof of her agitation. “And vice versa.”

“You think you're sexy?” she taunted, hoping to distract him.

Levi grinned. “I'm the opposite of Brandon. Rough instead of polished. Open where he's reserved. Daring when he's cautious.”

Beth had nothing to say to that.

“Most importantly,” he added, watching for her reaction, “I would never cheat on you. I would never shame you.” He stared at her hard. “I would never do anything that I knew would hurt you.”

She bit her lip.

“Do you understand me, Beth?
Never.
”

In a small voice, she said, “I believe you.”

Those words thrilled Levi. At least she knew him well enough to trust in his honor. That had to count for something.

He waited until she looked up at him, then added, “And whether
you
think I'm sexy or not, you've thought about me.”

Temper sparked in her eyes. “Where Brandon's modest, you're obviously vain.” Done retreating, Beth took a stance and lifted her chin. “Add that one to the list, why don't you.”

Levi laughed. God, he adored her. “If I am conceited, then honey, you made me that way the night you came to me.”

She inhaled so fast, she nearly strangled herself.

Levi grinned at her. “Don't get me wrong, honey. I loved it. A lot.”

In a display of belligerence, Beth crossed both arms under her breasts. “So now you're blaming me for your character flaws?”

He stepped close enough to touch her, and then paused. “Think about it, Beth. When shit fell apart with Brandon who did you go running to?”

Her mouth tightened, but she refused to reply.

Levi touched a thumb to his chest. “Me.”

“I thought you were a friend.”

“Uh huh.” Levi nodded. “That's why the first plan to come to your mind was having sex with me, right?”

A rush of color stained her smooth cheeks. “I wanted to get even with Brandon.”

Slowly, so he wouldn't send her packing, Levi reached out and smoothed her hair behind her ear, then cupped her jaw. He could feel that flush of embarrassment, so warm and honest and sweet. “Sure you did.” And already knowing the answer, he asked, “So tell me, honey, what did old Brandon say when you told him?”

Her brows came down, her eyes closed and her mouth pinched in denial of the obvious truth.

Using both hands now to hold her face, Levi repeated, “Beth?”

“I didn't.”

He tilted his head in deep satisfaction. “What's that?”

Braced by irritation, Beth slapped his hands away. “I didn't tell him, all right? I couldn't. After that weekend…after we…” She shook her head hard. “I didn't tell him.”

Of course, she hadn't. “I haven't said anything to him, either.”

On a low growl, she stormed away, but only to put a little space between them.

Staring at her stiff back, Levi said, “It doesn't feel right to use something that was so wonderful as revenge, does it?”

She whirled on him in a blaze of anger. “Wonderful? Is that what you think?” Three big strides brought her within touching distance of him again. She leaned in to him, her eyes bright with fury, and used one finger to poke at his chest. “It was carnal and extravagant and totally inappropriate.”