Immortal Craving (Dark Dynasties) (32 page)

Tellingly, Tasmin avoided the latter part of her question. “I know the Lilim will win. With her allies, Lily is much stronger than she thinks. When the dust settles, she’ll find her dynasty has earned its place. No one will be able to question it.”

“I still can’t see this war as a good thing,” Bay said. Every time she thought of her friends bloodied and in close combat with a horde of snarling Ptolemy, she felt a burst of pure panic. What she’d been through the other night was just a taste. These other vampires were nothing like the ones here. They were vicious, ancient, and remorseless. Much more like monsters than vampires.

Maybe they weren’t all like that. Probably they weren’t. But if the Ptolemy bloodline survived what was coming, she would never be able to look at someone who wore the mark without being at least suspicious. She knew that was probably unfair.

Of course, none of this had been fair so far.

“Good is the wrong word for it. Useful, maybe. Beneficial. Nothing is simple black-and-white among our kind, Bay.”

“Yeah, it isn’t with plain old mortals either, most of the time,” she agreed, turning her head to look at a silent fountain that had as its center an entwined couple, the woman with long, flowing hair, the man lean and elegant. He seemed to be biting her neck. There was something beautiful about the way they were fitted together, the bliss on the woman’s carved face.

She and Tasmin had their moments where she felt just like that woman. And then there were times like this, when he seemed more a stranger to her than anything, despite the warmth of his hand wrapped around hers. There was so much she didn’t know about him. And she worried there wouldn’t be time to find out.

“So what will you do? Will you keep your little shop in Tipton?” Tasmin asked. “I don’t think the Lilim will ever
return there, but you could return to the life you had for a while, at least.”

This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have, but Bay decided to humor him until she could figure out what they were doing here.

“I think they’d notice something was off about me. When Lily was turned, she had enough to do so that she could just walk away from her job, and the circumstances were sensational enough that no one really poked at her about the fact that she seemed, you know, different. With me… I’m from there. And I’m not sure colored contacts are going to do much for covering glowing gold eyes.”

“It takes effort,” Tasmin said, “but it isn’t impossible for you to hide them. It’s almost like creating an invisible shield around yourself. With practice, they would only see what you wanted them to. But it will take some time.”

Bay lifted her eyebrows. “Really? Huh. That’s something to think about, I guess. But… I don’t know. I love being a groomer. I love being around the animals, and the people, and I love being my own boss. But Tipton isn’t going to be the same after all of this. My family’s already moved out of the area, and with Lily and Ty gone, and that big empty mansion just sitting there… I was satisfied without really feeling settled, I guess, for a long time now. I’d like to have both. Sell the shop there, buy a new one somewhere else. Start over.”

“Boston?”

“I don’t know. I’m not much of a city girl, honestly. And Grimm would hate it.” When he continued to look expectantly at her, Bay’s jaw tightened. She knew he didn’t expect to be around when this was all over, but he was pushing her to articulate things she’d barely been able
to bring herself to consider. She’d only just begun to wrap her mind around having such an extended future, and being here, with everything so unsettled, made it tough to look much past any given day.

But Tasmin was right. With luck, pretty soon she’d have a life to start putting together, with the ability to live it really any way, or any number of ways, she wanted to.

Except, it seemed, the most important way she wanted to live it. With him at her side.

“Okay,” she finally said grudgingly, “don’t laugh. I actually think I might take a serious look at Silver Falls.”

That finally got him to smile, a bright grin that didn’t have a hint of darkness to it.

“The werewolf town? You want to groom werewolves?”

Bay rolled her eyes. “No, that’s not my kind of kink, thank you. But lots of the Thorn have dogs. Like,
dog
dogs. I was out there once with Lily, and it’s gorgeous. Plus, since there aren’t any mortals there, I won’t stand out as extra weird. It isn’t so far in the boonies that I’d have to go far to, you know, eat. I’ve always been pretty comfortable around Jaden and Lyra, which, believe me, is a big deal. I’d see Lily and Ty often enough. I could have a pretty house, and a big yard, and the woods there are great… Plus, no wolf is going to mess with a lioness, I’m sorry. It’s not going to happen.”

Articulating it like that made it more real, and Bay found that there was a big part of her that found the prospect of that kind of change exciting. Could she do what Damien and Ariane had done, or Lyra and Jaden, and create her own niche rather than waiting around hoping that she would simply fall into one that fit? The wolves
were earthy, less about politics and dynasties and more about being a big, raucous family. That appealed to her far more than secretive politics and life lived by candlelight. Maybe she could fit there. Do for herself what she’d always been so focused on doing for everyone else.

Even if the one thing she really wanted would be missing.

Bay turned and stared at Tasmin, stopping beneath the reaching boughs of a gnarled ornamental tree that arched over the path.

“What’s this really about, Tasmin?”

“I want to make sure you’re going to be all right,” he said, and the tenderness with which he spoke was enough to have tears springing to her eyes.

“Are you kidding me? I’m not all right
now
. You really think I enjoy planning this stuff? That I like thinking about what I’m going to do when you’re not around?” She swiped angrily at her eyes with her sleeve, furious that she couldn’t stop the tears. “You have to know that’s not what I want. I spent all these years wondering if I’d ever meet somebody like you. Kind of strange, gorgeous, sweet… perfect. And then there you are, except with a heavy dose of doomed. I’ve spent years not really knowing what I wanted. I’m great at giving people what they need, but I was never really sure what I needed. Now I know what that is, and I can’t have it.”

“Bay,” he said, his voice an emotional rasp.

“All I want is you. You have to know that, Tasmin. I’m in—”

“Don’t,” he said, and the words died on her tongue, cut off as painfully as if he’d used a real blade.

“Don’t?” she asked. “Is that all you can say? Do you
really think not saying the words makes them any less true? I love you.
I love you.
You could walk away now, you could die tomorrow, and a hundred years from now I would
still
love you. I love the way you talk, the way you move. I love the way you need me, the way you look for me whenever you walk in a room. I love the way you hold me. I love that you couldn’t stay away from me, and that you didn’t try all that hard to make me stay away from you. I love that you let me see what nobody else does.” She stepped toward him, until she was only a breath away. He was as still as the sphinx, watching her with eyes that glowed bright with some strong emotion. But he made no move to close the rest of the distance between them, no move to touch her.

Bay pressed forward, determined to tell him the truth. Whatever he thought he was doing, whatever happened, Tasmin needed to know how she felt. She refused to let him go without telling him that. Whether or not he’d set out to capture it, he had her heart.

“You’re not alone in this, Tasmin. You’ve saved my life more than once. You gave me your mark. Even if I can’t find a way to save you, I can give you everything I have while you’re here.” Her hands ached to touch him, but that last reach would have to be his.

Tasmin’s eyes closed, his face contorting in pain. “I can’t. You don’t know—”

“If there are things I don’t know, then tell me! You’re not sparing me by walking away from me,” Bay said, trying desperately to make him understand. “If you give a damn about me at all, let me be here for you. Stay with me. At least let me know I’m not alone in the way I feel about you!”

His eyes, when he looked at her, were like gold fire.

For a moment, she thought he was going to pull her to him. For an instant, a raw torrent of emotion flashed through her, nearly taking her to the ground with its intensity, and she knew he was letting her feel what he felt, giving her what he couldn’t in words.

He did love her. Bay reeled, swaying on her feet as the knowledge slammed into her. His love for her was a fierce, wild thing, much like the man himself. But there was so much pain, more than she could have imagined, tangled up with that love.

And at the center of it, she could feel the dark pulse of the demon, poisoning everything around it… destroying the soul of the man she loved. Every emotion Tasmin gave her was shot through with death.

She had never expected him to be so far gone.

“I can’t let you deal with this,” he said. “It’s too strong now. Couldn’t you feel it?”

“And I won’t let you go through this alone,” Bay insisted, the ache from all she’d felt lingering in her chest.

“You would still become my mate, knowing all this? You’d put your teeth in me, knowing that you’re going to lose me? You could handle getting as close as two creatures can be, only to be ripped back apart?”

Bay nodded. “Yes.”

His laugh was like a dry rattle of wind through the bare trees, and she knew she’d lost him. “Then you’re stronger than I am. You’re all I have left, Bay. I couldn’t save my brothers. But I can save you.”

Suddenly, she understood why the house had been so quiet, why he was acting so strangely. Her eyes widened.

“Tasmin, no—”

The diaphanous gold tendrils of his magic slashed out of him to curl around her before she could even finish speaking. Bay saw flashes of light, and then a strange sense of peace stole over her as she found herself standing in a hazy golden mist in a gentling waving field, watching a shimmering flock of birds dip and swirl in a summer sky.

She could no longer see the man standing in front of her, gazing at her with shattered eyes.

Love
…

The ugly voice in his mind whispered the word, tasting it. Hating it.

“It’s nothing you would ever understand,” Tasmin whispered into the stillness. He gathered Bay into his arms and took her inside, laying her gently on the bed they had shared.

Then he turned and walked away from the house, away from the Lilim, away from everyone who had tried to help him, and who his presence had only hurt.

Tasmin got into one of the cars parked neatly in the drive and turned the key, plane tickets tucked neatly in his pocket.

He had a long day ahead of him.

S
OMETHING WAS WRONG
.

Bay gazed up at the swirling birds in the sky and frowned at the thought.

What could be wrong? It was a beautiful day. The sun was out. The sky was blue.

She blinked and looked around. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Everything was perfect.

Too perfect. Mind-numbingly perfect.

Her frown deepened. She looked at the gently waving grass, at the far-off castle on the horizon. This was her idea of heaven… so why did it feel wrong all of a sudden? It hit her all at once: she had no idea where she was. This was just like something she would have imagined because… she was imagining it.

None of this was real.

Bay surfaced from the dream with a gasp, feeling like a diver whose head has just broken the surface of the water. Her eyes flew open, and she saw the familiar confines of
her room at the Dracul’s. She was only confused for a few seconds. Then, everything came back.

Tasmin. Tasmin did this. Oh my God he’s going to
—

She leapt from the bed, hunting for the shoes and socks he’d carefully slipped off her feet so she would sleep more comfortably. Bay wasn’t sure whether to curse his name or cry. She’d bared her heart to him, and he’d knocked her out because he was determined to protect her from whatever the demon was trying to make him do. She didn’t even want to imagine what that might be… Anything the demon might want so badly had to be horrifying.

Bay fumbled into the bathroom, splashed water on her face to try and rouse herself, then headed out the door, trying to remember where Lyra and Jaden were sleeping. It took her a frustrating amount of time to find them among rooms of vampires, sprawled out and sound asleep on beds, on floors, and in one case, half out of the bathtub. Tasmin had worked that irritating bit of magic on the entire house, ensuring that by the time everyone got up this evening, he’d be long gone… and whatever he had managed to accomplish would be done.

She managed to rouse a few groggy werewolves before finally finding Lyra and Jaden curled up together in a third-floor bedroom. Lyra was on her side, Jaden’s arm draped around her, and Bay could see the band of leaping, stretching cats that encircled Lyra’s upper arm—her bond mark with Jaden. Bay took a deep breath, then leaned over and began to shake Lyra.

“Lyra. Lyra? Wake up. Wake
up
!”

Slowly, one of Lyra’s amber eyes opened.

“I don’t want a tutu,” she mumbled.

Bay hissed out a breath through her nose. “You don’t have to have a tutu. You have to wake up. Tasmin’s gone.”

Both eyes opened. “Huh?”

Bay watched Lyra extract herself from her mate’s arms and sit up slowly, looking like she still wasn’t quite sure where she was.

“Tasmin is gone. He knocked out the whole house, and I’m positive this is about the demon. I just don’t understand why he would run off and give it what it wants! Something must have happened.”

“Jesus.” Lyra scrubbed at her face, her curly brown hair in wild tangles all over her head. “Did he tell you about this army of one bullshit before he went running off? How do you know this?”

“He tried to say good-bye.”