Impact (The Fight for Life #2) (8 page)

“Where did you just go? Focus, Leo.” Nick’s exasperated voice snapped me out of my pathetic musings. “You’re a dead man walking if you keep this shit up.”

“I’m good.” I shook my head and arms in a feeble attempt to refocus. “Sorry, Coach.”

“Remember what I told you about Lucas. He’s quick and strong, but he’s interested in pleasing his hometown crowd.” He slapped his hands down on my shoulders. “That’s your only real advantage, I’m afraid.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m serious, Leo. You’re all over the place. Mistreating your body doesn't just affect your fighting strength; it affects your ability to focus. Your edge has always been your ability to outsmart your opponent.” He tapped the side of his head. “Use that oversized brain of yours and dig deeper than ever before.”

“Show ponies make it too easy for me. I’m good, Nick.”

“This isn’t the cage. Remember our fight plan.”

“I told you, I’ve got this.”

I was wearing black satin shorts with a matching hooded robe. The music noise level dropped and the MC announced me. “Let’s give a big welcome to ‘Lethal’ Leo Ashlar.”

Rock music blared through the speakers as I jogged down the aisle to a mixture of applause and light abuse. Compared to the illegal fight clubs, this place was a kindergarten. They had no idea who I was, what I was capable of or the rage I could tap into just below the surface. I was no scalp and I was about to prove it.

The crowd went completely mental for the local hero. I'd been brought over as a spectacle, but Lucas’s smug demeanour as he climbed into the ring made me more determined than ever to ruin that plan. I enjoyed winning, but fighting had a very specific enticement for me, and it wasn’t just about the end result. I relished the mind game and the sweet sensation of blindsiding my opponent. Fighting in any arena was as intricate as a chess game. Every move was calculated—a hook, uppercut, block or jab—all designed to take another piece from my opponent. In the end, only one will reign supreme—and little did the Perth crowd know, I was the king.

“Eight rounds is going to be a marathon in your condition, so make sure you stick to our plan, okay?” demanded Nick. “Wait for him to attack, counter strike, and then move off.” Nick pushed my mouthguard in. “Listen to my instructions and don’t get carried away. You are not anywhere near your full strength, and you need to be smart. You need to listen to me. We both know you shouldn’t be here. Don’t be a hero out there.”

I nodded before turning to face my pawn.

Adrenaline kicked in. The hairs on my arms stood up and my feet felt lighter. This was my moment, and all other thoughts left my head. This was what I craved. This was my oblivion.

Lucas bounced around his side and I felt his eyes studying me. That always indicated a smart fighter, and my eyes narrowed. I would give him nothing predictable. He would’ve gleaned little from meeting me at the weigh-in, and he only had my one recent fight to go by. I might have been weaker than I would’ve liked, but I was formidable when I was in the zone.

Lucas threw the first punch: an obvious right hook I had no problem dodging. I was only vaguely aware of the crowd erupting before they fell away. I waited for the split second that his weight was on his back foot to slam my gloved fist into the side of his head before moving off quickly. As expected, he toppled backward, caught off balance. He righted himself and closed the distance quickly. I knew he was about to go for a combination. He was rattled. I’d taken his knight and I was about to take his castle.

Nick and I had agreed on a strategy whereby he would make the defensive and offensive calls as the fight played out. I would be too close to my opponent and wouldn't have the same perspective as Nick in the corner. In my current physical state, I had to concede my ability to make instinctual decisions was compromised.

Lucas attacked, and I countered and then moved off. I was holding my own and preserving some of the precious energy I had to work with. The first four rounds were fairly uneventful, and the crowd no doubt felt a little ripped off. I had to force myself to remain present a lot of the time as my mind drifted away.
Get your shit together
, I mentally chastised myself.

“You’re doing okay, Leo,” Nick said as he pulled out my mouthguard and towelled me off at the end of the fourth. “Your hits were cleaner, but you are tiring.”

I nodded, wincing when he dabbed at a small cut above my eyebrow.

When the bell rang, I moved back into the ring. I was feeling the heavy toll on my body, and doubt started to infiltrate my psyche. I pushed it away, angry at myself, but the next couple of rounds, I couldn’t deny he was starting to dominate. His body appeared to blur and I had to narrow my eyes to focus. I wasn’t anticipating his moves, and much to my horror, he was anticipating mine.

“Are you still sure about the plan, Nick?” I asked, as he towelled me off. “I need the knockout.”

“I’ll call offensive when I see fit. You’re holding up, but I’m not sure you have the reserves for it.”

“I can do it. I can take down this little fucker.”

He waited ‘til I looked him in the eye. “You have to trust me, Leo.”

I nodded but couldn’t make eye contact. I barely trusted myself at that point, but I ran my own race and made my own decisions.

The bell rang for the second-to-last round. I blocked out everyone and everything other than the other player in my game. He was about to go down, and I relished the shot of adrenaline that would take away the pain.

The knockout was all about the timing. I needed to focus everything I had on one powerful, he-can’t-come-back-from-this blow. I let him do his little dance a while longer. Then I drew him towards me by lowering my gloves for a split second. He would see it as a sign of fatigue and get himself ready for the kill. He was pumped up on ego and I was about to capitalise.

The next ten seconds happened in slow motion. With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I recoiled my arm, sending every cell of my body into high alert. I slammed my fist into him with all the force I could muster then closed my eyes briefly from pure exhaustion, relieved this nightmare was over.

Regaining my composure, I looked out into the crowd.
Get ready for disappointment
, I thought to myself. My eyes found Juliette’s and her expression wasn’t what I was expecting. She looked nervous and had her hands over her face.

I felt the impact, my knees hit the canvas and then my world went black for a split second. I was on all fours and the referee had started the countdown.
Fuck!
I pushed off my gloves and struggled to my feet.

Suddenly, I could hear Nick’s angry voice above the crowd’s roar, and I made a quick sweep of the ring in complete disbelief. My arrogance had definitely cost me the round. If Lucas’s hit had been cleaner, he could’ve knocked
me
out. I glanced at Nick and he gave me the death stare that said,
Pull your head in, you fucking idiot
.

“What the fuck was that?” Nick seethed as he removed my mouthguard at the end of the round.

“I needed to take him down.” My nonchalant reply enraged him and his face went from flushed to beetroot in seconds.

“A blind man could see you didn’t have the strength to take him out, you arrogant son of a bitch.”

“Interesting choice of words,” I snapped.

Nick just shook his head as I took a seat on the stool in the corner, a towel wrapped around my neck.

“I’ve got this.”

“Don’t be so sure. You are not the clear winner and there are two local judges to one interstate.”

Lucas was bouncing on the spot with his gloves in front of his face, clearly enjoying the moment in the sun. Rage coursed through me and I wanted to flatten him.

“Stay back.” Nick’s instruction was said with such blatant venom, I reigned myself in.

Lucas tried to get more blows in and I managed to hold him off and get a few in of my own. I was fighting for my life, and I could still win. One setback would hand the win to Lucas. I dug deeper than ever before and gave that little fucker the very best of me.

When the final bell rang, the crowd went wild. Granted, it wasn’t clear cut, but I was confident I’d still done enough to take the win.

Much to my horror, Lucas was declared the winner on a split decision two points to one.

Check mate.

When we returned to the change rooms, I paced in front of my locker. “Pete’s a fucking snake.”

Nick stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. “Pull your head in. It was close, and yes, you probably should’ve won, but the result wasn’t unfair. If you’d listened to me, I could’ve gotten you the knockout at the right time. Lucas was tiring quickly. He was getting sloppy, but he was still okay when you went rogue.”

I felt the ugly pang of shame.

“You scared me, Leo.” Juliette pushed her palms against my chest when she was let into my private change room. “You told me not to worry, then you go and nearly get knocked out.” She was trying so hard to be nice to me and it just pissed me off. Reality started to inject itself back into my brain as I tried to process. I had been in a fight I was supposed to win. But I hadn’t won. I’d lost. I’d fucking lost.
Fuck!

I sat down on the bench. “I’m sorry.” My voice sounded cold and harsh. I’d deserved to lose. I would’ve deserved for my face to meet the canvas with a powerful thud. It was dumb luck that Lucas hadn’t knocked me out.

“What are you apologising for?” She sounded confused and edgy.

I shook my head, breaking eye contact with her. “Nothing. I’d just like to be alone for a bit.”

She didn’t say anything, and eventually I looked up from my hands that I was unwrapping. We looked at each other and neither of us spoke. Her expression was unreadable, and I felt like a dead-end fuck-up. I certainly wasn’t proving her mother wrong. In fact, if she could see me now, I think she’d probably be thrilled.

Juliette couldn’t belong to me any more than I could belong to her. I wasn’t worthy and she was worth too much.

“Stop.” I snapped my head up to Juliette holding her hands up in a firm demand. “What are you doing, Leo?”

I didn’t answer because I didn’t have an answer. I had no idea what I was doing.

She squatted down in front of me and placed her hands over mine. “You freaked out seeing your mum, you agreed to a fight you shouldn’t have and you lost. Get over it.”

“Get over it?”

“Yes. Shit happens. Get over it.”

“Shit happens?”

“Are you going to repeat everything I say?”

I pulled my hands from hers and stood up, walking over to my locker. Rage overtook me and I slammed my hand against the metal door five times in quick succession. “Shit doesn’t just happen, Juliette. People
make
shit happen.”

“Why won’t you tell me what is really going on?”

I turned around, expecting to see fear in her eyes from my sudden outburst, but instead she was standing tall, her shoulders back and her eyes intense.

“Do you really want to know?” I asked, stalking back to her. “Do you really want to know why I’m a complete fuck-up?”

She closed the distance I had put between us. “You’re not a fuck-up, Leo. I don’t know why you’d think that. One loss in a stupid unfair fight doesn’t make you a fuck-up.” Her voice softened and her eyes filled with tears. “You’re the best person I know. Please don’t push me away now.”

“I’m not good for you,” I whispered.

“Says who? Certainly not me, and the only other opinion that matters is yours, and I don’t think you believe that. I think you’re scared to trust me because you don’t fully trust anyone, including yourself. And I’m pretty sure it has a whole lot to do with your mother.”

My body stiffened. “I can’t do this now.” I sat down in front of my locker and buried my face in my hands. I looked up to see her shaking her head. “Go back to the hotel, Jules.”

She closed her eyes and exhaled before opening them. “Fine. Have your little pity party. I’m sick of your cryptic bullshit. I know you want to love me. You have to trust me to look after your heart or we have no chance.”

I stared at the space where she was standing long after she had disappeared from the room, trying to process her words.
“I know you want to love me”
was on constant loop in my head.

Watching Leo in the boxing ring had been impressive, but… well, it had been disappointing. I knew he could have ended Lucas Albright in a New York minute had he been at full strength. As it was, he appeared lethargic. In the cage, his movements had appeared effortless and instinctual, but tonight, it was almost too hard to watch. To his credit, he still put up a good fight, and if Lucas hadn’t had the hometown advantage, Leo actually could’ve claimed victory. Leo had needed to be the clear winner, and he clearly hadn’t been. I was devastated for him, but it had been pretty fucked up thinking he could beat a local champion in his state. His behaviour after the fight had made me think he knew it too.

Leo had pissed me off, and I was relieved to have a quiet taxi ride back to the hotel. Rather than heading straight to the room, I ducked into the hotel bar and ordered a gin and tonic. Gin wasn’t necessarily the best idea, but it was exactly what I felt like.

“Rough night?” the bartender asked as he placed my drink down in front of me.

I smiled. “You could say that.”

“Did you know bartenders are some of the best listeners in the world?” I didn’t get the feeling he was flirting with me. With the bar almost empty, I think he might’ve just been bored.

“Not all bartenders,” I mumbled.

“Do you want to tell me about your night?” He leaned his hip against the bar as he dried the glasses.

I scrunched up my nose. “Well, let’s see.” I let out a long breath and thought back over not just tonight’s fight, but the last year. I drew in another breath then started to ramble out my exhale. “My mother just got out of a looney bin. My ex-boyfriend’s a gold-digging douche bag and had an affair with my mother. My current boyfriend just lost his first fight ever tonight and is having a big sook, and surprise, surprise…” I threw my hands in the air. “He doesn’t want to talk to me about it.” My bartender friend’s eyes were wide as saucers and he was no longer wiping the glasses.