Impossible Things (12 page)

She woke up the next morning determined to forget about Lucas. It had been a beautiful day with a beautiful man, but it was over. She had Sam, and she loved him. They would have a good life together and she would be happy.

Sam was still working as much as before and she found herself alone for most of the next week. When her grandmother called and asked her to tea Lucy eagerly accepted.

They met at The Ritz and Lucy fell in love the minute she walked into its beautiful lobby. She was escorted to the table in the beautiful Palm Court by a handsome black-coated waiter and she tried not to gawk at the luxury surrounding her.

Her grandmother rose as she approached and they hugged and kissed before sitting down. Lucy was glad that she had gone shopping for a dress after receiving the invitation. Although her dress was nothing fancy at least she felt that she was dressed appropriately. The dress was soft pink with a lace top and a floaty, feminine skirt. After she
’d put it on she had danced in front of the mirror, smiling to herself.

She had worked hard the past week to put Lucas to the back of her mind but she hadn’t been able to dismiss the feelings that their afternoon together had given her. She felt sexy and confident in her skin for the first time in her life and as she stared in the mirror at the dress she thought that it had to be obvious to everyone else as well.

But of course Sam hadn’t noticed.

Lucy had twirled once more and on impulse went to the closet and pulled out the suitcase. Digging through it she found the platinum filigree bracelet and put it on. It added just the right note to her outfit and the feel of it against her skin, as it moved on her arm, made her feel
even more feminine.

Now though, she was regretting that as her grandmother looked at the bracelet. Lucy quickly moved her arm but it was too late. “That’s pretty. Let me see.”

Holding her breath Lucy held her arm out and her grandmother carefully looked at it. “Very, very beautiful and expensive.”

Lucy pulled her arm back and moved it so that it was lying on her lap under the table. “Oh no, it was fifty pounds I think. Just something I found at a shop.”

Her grandmother looked at her and Lucy felt her heart skip a beat at the look on her face. This was her grandmother, a connoisseur of the finest jewels in the world, would she believe that?

Her heart started up again when her grandmother nodded and changed the subject. They
spent an enjoyable afternoon talking and laughing and when it was time to part Lucy reached out and hugged her grandmother tightly. “I love you Nana.”

She pulled back to see that her grandmother had tears in her eyes. “You haven’t called me that since you were little.”

Lucy smiled, “Because you wouldn’t let me. You didn’t want anyone to know you were old enough to have a granddaughter.”

Her grandmother nodded and blinked the tears away. “I love you too. I hope you know that. I hope you know that I thought about you every single day since we parted. You and your mother were never far from my mind.”

Lucy nodded. She did know that.

She smiled, trying to lighten the mood, and her grandmother suddenly leaned towards her, and grabbed her hand. “You look so beautiful today. You look happy, like I always imagined you. Much better than you looked that day you stepped off the plan
e.”

Lucy looked away for a second before turning back, “I guess London agrees with me.”

Her grandmother nodded. “I believe it does.”

They parted at the entrance, her grandmother going out to get into her limo while Lucy asked for directions to the ladies room. She was halfway there when she heard a familiar voice and turned to see Lucas crossing the lobby, deep in conversation with another man.

He didn’t see her so she quickly ducked behind a pillar as he and the man headed towards the hotel’s restaurant. She held her breath as they walked only a few feet from her. Lucas was wearing a black suit, white shirt and a beautiful sapphire colored tie and he looked gorgeous.

She waited until they entered the restaurant before turning to leave. She would find a restroom somewhere else.

Walking down the street towards home she felt shaken. She had been working so hard to put him out of her mind and then there he was larger than life.

It wasn’t fair.

She walked the streets, uncaring about the hustle and bustle that surrounded her. She had so much that needed to be done. It was only nine days before her wedding and three weeks until Christmas. She had errands to do for the weeding and she needed to start buying presents, but she didn’t feel like doing anything. Instead she wandered up Piccadilly until she got to Green Park where she cut across the street to
walk through the park.

It was freezing and she
quickly wished that she had put on a thicker coat before leaving the house but that didn’t stop her. The trees were bare of leaves and the park was almost empty. When she got to Hyde Park Corner she went down to the tube and took it home.

When she got home she was surprised to find that Sam was already there. Most days he had been coming home after she went to bed and she was able to see him for a few minutes in the morning before he left for work. She understood that his internship was demanding but she was beginning to resent it.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, at his computer, working as always and she kissed him on the neck. He brushed her off as he said, “I have to finish this babe.”

Hurt, she pulled back and went into the bedroom. He hadn’t even noticed her dress and the extra care that she had used putting on her make-up that morning.

She had taken off her dress and was putting on yoga pants and a t-shirt when her phone rang. Her head was in her shirt and she got stuck as Sam screamed, “Babe come on! Get the damn phone!”

She almost ripped her shirt getting it on and she quickly grabbed her phone. She was breathless when she answered, “Hello?”

“Lucy?”

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his deep, accented voice and the blood in her veins began to pound. She sat down on the bed and looked over to the bedroom door. She couldn’t see Sam from where she was sitting and she felt panicked and thrilled at the same time.

“Lucy are you there?”

She gulped and pushed her bangs out of her eyes with a shaking hand. “I’m here.”

“I…,” now he was the one who sounded hesitant and instead of making her feel better it made her feel worse. “I’m sorry for calling. I know you said it was over but I…I miss you.”

She closed her eyes at that as her heart began to skip in her chest. Those words shouldn’t make her so happy but they did. She had been in a horrible mood ever since she
saw him in the hotel. She had wanted to run across the lobby and grab him and hold on to him. That terrified her.

“Can you please meet me? Just to talk. Just so I can see your face. Please?”

His voice was pleading and it made her hand shake worse. “I can’t. You know that.”

She could hear him swallow and then he said, “I know. I know it’s too much to ask. But I can’t help it. Just for a minute. Please. I keep having dreams about you. I have to see you to know that I didn’t make you up.”

She got up off the bed and went to the door. She could see Sam. He was bent over his computer, furiously typing away, and the sight of him, which only a few months before had brought up feelings of love and safety, no longer did.

That scared her more than anything.

She turned from the doorway and went over to the window. She didn’t say anything for a moment and neither did he but she could hear his breathing through the phone line.

“Lucy, please?”

Her mouth had suddenly gone dry and she licked her lips. “Where?”

His voice was eager as he said, “Anywhere you want.”

“There’s a coffee place in Chelsea on the King’s Road, do you know where it is?”

He sighed, and she heard the relief in his voice as he said, “No, but I’ll find it. How long?”

She took a deep breath, unable to believe she was doing this and said, “I can be there in twenty minutes.”

“Fine. I’ll meet you there.”

He hung up before she could say anything else and she looked at her reflection in the frosted glass of the window. Was she really going to do this?

She thought of how she had felt all morning after seeing him. How sad she had felt and how bad the urge to run to him had been. She was in over her head and she knew it but s
he nodded at her reflection anyway and turned around.

Should she put back on the dress? She opened the closet and looked at her clothes. It would be best if she didn’t dress up for him. She didn’t want him thinking that it mattered to her, so she pulled out a pair of jeans and a thick sweater, pulled on a pair of boots and pulled her hair back into a pony tail.

She brushed her teeth and removed the red lipstick that she had put on for lunch with her grandmother. Staring at herself in the mirror she felt as if she was looking into the face of a stranger. She was no longer sure who she was. Everything that she thought she knew, everything that she felt, had changed since she got to London.

She went out to tell Sam that she was going out but even when she stood across the table from him he didn’t look up. Finally she had to call his name to get his attention. “Sam!”

Startled he looked up, his face was aggravated at the interruption and a small flicker of anger went through her. Her very presence seemed to be an annoyance to him lately and she was tired of it. Work was important but so was she. “Sam I’m going off but when I get back we have to talk.”

He actually rolled his eyes at her and she had to fight the urge to reach across the table and smack him. How dare he treat her that way?

His voice was sarcastic as he said, “Listen babe I know that I’ve been ignoring you lately but you know how important this internship is to me. I have to do well. That’s why we came to London so you would have someone to keep you busy.”

She jerked back at that, “What? What do you mean keep me busy?”

He nodded. “You’ve been moaning about missing your grandmother since I met you. Now you have her so spend some time with her. You could also get another job you know. We’ve almost run through your savings.”

She stared furiously at him, her hand on her hip but his eyes flicked from her, down to the computer in front of him.  Even in the midst of her being mad he was still too consumed by work to pay much attention to her. Deciding that it was worthless she turned, stomped to the door and slammed it behind her.

To furious to wait for the elevator she ran down the stairs. How dare he talk to her like she was a child? She was a grown woman and the woman he would be marrying in nine days! She had been putting up with his mom for months, doing everything the woman asked of her and more. And she hadn’t said a word about him working so much until today. It seemed that no matter what she did it was never enough for him, the same way that she had never been able to do enough for her dad.

Their relationship hadn’t been perfect before London but it was quickly falling apart and it had nothing to do with Lucas. Like many couples before them money
had become an issue lately. For two months after she lost her job Sam paid their rent while she looked for a new job but that had stopped the month before when he said that he needed his money to pay for the clothes, lunches and dinners that were necessary for him to advance.

So
Lucy had gotten into her savings, the money that she had planned on using to pay off part of her credit card debt, to pay for the rent on their apartment as well as their food. It wasn’t like she had been freeloading off him. Many times over the years that they had lived together during college she had paid for all of the bills of their small apartment. He seemed to have forgotten that the moment it was up to him to pay for things.

She got to the corner of the street and decided to take a taxi instead of the underground. She had four hundred pounds in her wallet that was supposed to pay for Sam’s groom’s cake
, but to hell with him and his stupid cake, she thought. She’d thought the idea of a separate cake for the groom was stupid anyway but his mom had insisted that it was “in” right now, and that it was Lucy’s responsibility to pay for it.

Fuck wedding fads and trends Lucy thought. She wanted to take a cab for once; she wanted to be able to eat whatever food she wanted without having to worry about the cost. She wanted to buy the shampoo and face wash that she had always loved and not have to be cheap because of the stupid wedding or so that Sam could get a new suit to impress his boss.

She got to the coffee shop and gave the driver a five pound tip just because she could. Her anger was still pouring off her in waves and it felt good. She felt more alive than she had in months. She turned from the cab and saw Lucas standing outside the shop door, waiting on her. She went up to him and asked, “Do you mind if we go somewhere else?”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll go anywhere you want.”

She turned and started off down the street. A block down the road she stopped in front of a dumpling bar and turned. “I’m hungry and I want to eat here.”