Improper Pleasures (The Pleasure Series #1) (35 page)

Astra stumbled to the closest place she could find and
sank into the chair before she collapsed onto the floor. “Oh, James. I don’t
believe any of this but things have changed. Wesley’s bound to give up when he
hears the news.”

“What news?”

Astra cradled her head in her hand. “I’m carrying your
child. Wesley would never harm me.” She raised her head, needing to look into
his eyes. “Even if something befalls you, our child will now be the heir.
Mother is absolutely positive that the child we conceived is a boy because the
morning sickness came on suddenly and is worse than when I’d conceived with
Lark.”

James stood stark still, stared as if she had cast
lightning from her fingertips, like a god from some Greek legend, his nude
masculine beauty captured in polished marble.

She lowered her head, not willing to see what came after
stunned shock. She pressed her hand to her stomach, welcoming and acknowledging
her child even if his father refused to. She tried to silently suck back the
hot tears that slid across her cheeks.

A large warm hand closed around the one she laid in her
lap. James brushed back her hair and then touched his lips to her cheek, kissing
her sorrow away. “It will all be all right. You just take care of your little
one. Forget everything I said.”

Your little one—not ours
. “James,” she began but
had to stop when tears choked her throat. What could she say to absolutely
convince him that the child she carried could only be his? Even she had to
admit that her reputation did not recommend her as one who could be trusted.

James brought her hand to his lips, he kissed her palm,
then entwined their fingers. “I can’t bear to see you so distraught. There is
nothing that can’t wait for another day. You need your rest.”

James helped her to her feet and guided her to his bed
with a protective arm wrapped around her shoulders. He tucked her under the
covers, blew out the candles and crawled in bed beside her. Once settled, he
wrapped his arm around Astra’s waist and fit her snuggly against him. He sighed
deeply, contentedly.

“I think this shall be my favorite part of having a wife.”

Astra closed her eyes tightly, willing her tears to leak
silently from the corners of her eyes. James would misunderstand. She had no
wish to disturb James’s rhythmic breathing, a signal that he’d quickly drifted
off to sleep. Astra swore that this moment was worth all the others, both past
and future. No doubt there would be plenty of opportunities in the days and
weeks to come to consider all the obstacles to their temporary illusion of
wedded bliss.

Astra paused under a trellis of climbing roses overwhelmed
by the beauty of the fat blossoms. The flower’s yellow center spread into
pink-tinged petals that reminded Astra of a summer sunrise. She tried to ignore
the wonder of such a haphazardly placed miracle, but failed. Tears choked her
throat and streamed down her cheeks before she could check her emotions. Perhaps
her mother was correct in her insistence that Astra carried a boy. Every moment
of the experience seemed so foreign from her time with Lark. Most especially
the support and love from her baby’s father.

“Astra.” She heard her name called on the wind and
immediately stiffened. All the things she had shoved out of her mind confronted
her sooner than she had hoped. And the one that she dreaded the most was the
quickest to arrive. She glanced past the hedge blossoms bending at the weight
of hundreds of white flowers. The grandeur of the early summer spectacle
provided Wesley dozens of places to hide. As if on command, he parted a hedge
and stepped into view, waved her over, then melted back into the shrub.

Astra set down the basket of fresh cut flowers, then
glanced back to the house several yards away. No one was about. James had
barricaded himself in his study, determined to sort through the correspondence
that had been left untouched since Wesley’s departure.

“Astra.” Wesley stepped out of the bushes again. “Please,
I must speak with you.”

Astra laid down the shears next to the basket, dismissing
the urge that she should carry them as a weapon. Her devotion to James had
already betrayed her friendship to Wesley. She would not turn him into a villain
to justify her choice. For too many years he had been her friend, her only
companion during her self-imposed exile. Despite James’s request to avoid
Wesley, she cut across the lush grass to meet him at the wild border. She would
warn him that James knew of the secret account and be back to the house with
her fresh cut flowers before anyone was the wiser. She could at least offer
Wesley that small act of support.

The guilt she hoped to quell intensified with each step
that brought her oldest friend into clarity. Never—not even as a toad-hunting
lad—had she seen Wesley so disheveled. His usually neat hair hung in oily
strands. It looked as though he had not bothered to bathe or shave in several
days. The clothes he wore were the same she had seen him in last, with the
addition of a worn overcoat that was two sizes too big. When she was almost
upon him, he melted back into the thicket of green, knocking several full
blooms to the ground in the process.

“You should not be here. I thought you said you were leaving
Cornwall,” she said to the rhododendrons.

He parted the shrub and motioned for her to step over and
behind it. She glanced back at the house one last time and did as he directed.

He settled a wide-brimmed hat on his head and she realized
he had disguised himself as a common laborer. “I have been waiting for you all
morning. Where have you been?”

She fumbled for an excuse as to why she had not gone into
the garden to cut flowers for the breakfast table and Lady Phillina’s tray as
was her custom. She could not tell Wesley that she and James had lay in bed
together until the sun was decadently high in the sky.

“You should not be here at all,” she finally said in her
defense. “James knows about the account in my name. I don’t know what he will
do if he catches you on Eastlan’s grounds.”

Wesley cocked his head and studied her in a way that made
Astra fidget. “But you don’t seem the worse for it. I assume he did not blame
you.”

“No, he is quite upset with you, Wesley.” She took a deep
breath and tried not to imagine the accusations James had claimed regarding
Lowell to be true. Nor would she insult Wesley by repeating them.

“You look well. Rested.” Wesley regarded her with too
critical of an eye, causing Astra to blush. “I suppose you think you are happy
with the way things have arranged themselves.”

“I told you before that I married James because I love
him. We have some misunderstandings to settle yet but I think we will indeed be
happy together.” Astra had awakened in James’s bed to the late morning light, tea
and a warm scone on the table beside the bed. After her revelation, James
refused to continue their conversation about Wesley. Nor did he question her on
her child’s parentage and for that she was eternally grateful.

“I wish I did not have to be the one to shatter your
illusion, but unfortunately, I desperately need your help. Not everyone who has
fallen victim to James Keane has fared as well as you.”

“I shall only help you if you return everything you took
from Eastlan and James. You shall leave the country, perhaps live in Greece for
a bit. You’ve always claimed to love it there.” She reached out her hand to
Wesley. “Not forever, of course, but only until I can smooth things out with
James.”

He squeezed her hand, smiled then released it. “You have
too much faith in his generosity. Things have changed irrevocably. I will never
be able to live in peace as long as James Keane is baron of Eastlan.”

Astra sighed, knowing Wesley was right. “You have been a
constant friend to me, Wesley. I cannot bear the idea of never seeing you
again, but it would hurt me worse to see you thrown into prison.”

“I will always be your loyal servant, Astra. Which is part
of the reason why I have come to Eastlan, despite the jeopardy I have put
myself in. Better you should know this now. Melva is carrying James’s child.”

Astra clutched her stomach. Wesley’s words jolted her with
the same intensity of a physical blow. She instantly wanted to question the
validity of Wesley’s claim, but simultaneously thought her friend would not lie
to her. Her instinct was not to believe the unthinkable, but just as quickly
doubts crept in about her own ability to know and trust others, something she
certainly hadn’t been good at in the past. She had made so many mistakes in her
lifetime, had she made another?

Her mind spun with the possibilities as she tried her best
to sort things out quickly, but her thoughts grew more jumbled and she felt
even more confused. Her pregnancy seemed to have affected her ability to think
lately. Was that it? Or had she been fooling herself all along?

She rubbed her forehead as one clear thought formed: how
could Melva even be sure the child belonged to James? But, Astra stopped
herself, knowing too well what it felt like to be doubted. A woman knows. And
besides, James had not interrogated her last night though she had anticipated
such.

Wesley touched her shoulder as if to steady her. “I am
sorry. This must be painful, but I knew you of all people would understand her
desperation.”

“She came to you?” was all Astra could get past her dry
throat.

“She had no one else. I was packing my things to leave
England when she stumbled upon me. She fears she will be forced to leave
Cornwall. She’s threatened to take her own life.”

“Does James know?” Astra suddenly feared the possibility that
his lack of reaction last night could have had something to do with the fact
that he had grown accustomed to women informing him that they carried his
child. Or were her growing doubts simply silly delusions?

“Oh, yes, your husband is well aware that his mistress is
with child, which is why she is so distraught. He wants Melva to go to London
and have someone eliminate the complication. When she refused, she swore he
slipped something in her drink to poison her.”

“James would never do anything like that.” The words came
quickly, but the eerily familiar tale weakened Astra’s knees.

“You know the man better than I.” Wesley shrugged.
“Perhaps her distress is causing her to imagine things, but I do fear she will
do something horrible to herself. I want you to speak to her.”

“Me?” More than anything Astra yearned to escape behind
Eastlan’s walls and for a few more days believe there were fairytale endings
for women like her. Women who had made mistakes, who had been scarred by
tragedy and heartache.

“I am worried for Melva’s well-being, both mentally and
physically, not to mention the health of her innocent child. As you said, I
must leave the country. I can’t look after her and she needs a friend. She is
ashamed to tell her mother or sisters.”

“But surely she does not wish to speak with me of all
people. I am James’s wife.”

“That’s exactly why she must speak with you. Who else will
personally assure her that you will force James to provide for her and see to
it that she is not abandoned in London?”

“I must speak to James about this. Immediately.” Astra had
been for sweeping all that stood between them under the rug when it suited her.
Perhaps James had been just as eager to ignore their differences because he
also had a secret. Ironically, they were both unexpected pregnancies. Even
though it added to her pain, she found she could not help but wonder if James
had invented his wild stories about Wesley last night to discredit him, so as
to cover for James’s own misdeeds. She hated to think so, but she had to
consider the possibility. Astra turned to head for the house, determined to
have her speculations answered by James himself.

Wesley grabbed her arm, halting her. “Please, Astra. I
can’t leave England in good conscience with Melva in such dire straits. James
no doubt has the sheriff on the hunt for me. I know you think this should not
fall upon you, but in truth, you do have some sway over him. Perhaps as much as
I hate to admit it, he does love you. He certainly seems to.”

Astra paused, relishing Wesley’s words and knowing they
cost him dearly. Much of her anger melted away. Easily, Astra could be the one
in Melva’s situation—and in fact had been the one in Melva’s situation.

“I shall talk to her and assure her that neither she nor
her child will be abandoned.” Unfortunately, arrangements such as Melva’s were
not uncommon. Many aristocrats had their illegitimate children on their
estates. Astra’s fairytale would indeed be tarnished, but childish stories
consisted of wishes and daydreams, did they not? Real life had warts and frogs
that could not be transformed into princes no matter how much kissing had been
done.

“Wonderful.” Wesley’s tug on Astra’s arm snapped her out
of her self-pitying thoughts. “Come with me and you can be back in an hour.”

“I cannot leave now. Tell me where to find her, and I’ll
visit tomorrow.”

“No, I can’t leave the country until I am certain she is
taken care of.”

“Fine, then I will go immediately. Just let me tell Lark’s
nanny that I will be away for awhile.”

Wesley refused to release his grip at her not-so-subtle
yanks to retrieve her arm. “No, come with me now. James will become suspicious
if you reveal you intend to slip away for an undisclosed purpose. The man has
an otherworldly sense of survival. I cannot risk it.”

“No, he is occupied elsewhere at the moment.” Astra
secretly wanted James to stop her, let him deal with this debacle, but she knew
it must be her as Wesley had pointed out. Fate was calling in all her markers.
She had asked for forgiveness many times for earlier mistakes and here was her
chance to earn it. “Just allow me to summon a coach. I don’t intend to walk in
this heat.”