In a Cowboy's Arms (Hitting Rocks Cowboys) (11 page)

His response was like a physical blow. “Why?”

“Because we’ve been lovers. There’s no going back.”

Heat suffused her cheeks. She shot to her feet. “That was a long time ago.” She didn’t want to talk about it.

“Too long. That’s why we have to move forward. Marry me and it will be as if we were never apart.”

“Jarod—”
Maybe she’d just imagined he’d articulated her greatest wish. Sadie thought she might expire on the spot.

“A very wise person said it best when describing you and me. Love means sharing a single soul.”

Tremors ran through her. “Sounds like your uncle talking.”

“You’re wrong. It was Leslie. After being with you the other day, I went to see her and broke it off. In her pain she admitted it was pointless to love someone who couldn’t reciprocate that love. I wanted to make it work with her, but it never happened.”

Sadie shook her head, so incredulous she couldn’t take everything in. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Too much time has gone by. You can’t still be in love with me.” She’d hurt him too deeply. He wasn’t the same with her. “We’re different people now. I have a little boy to raise.”

Jarod was on his feet. “Maybe we’ve both been in love with a memory, nothing more. But the strength of that memory has prevented us from getting past it. You’re a liar if you deny you didn’t want to make love the other day while we were out riding.”

She’d wanted it so badly, he would never know what she’d gone through to control herself.

He moved to the front door and turned to her. “I’m asking you to marry me, Sadie. In church. In front of everyone. We need to do it soon while my grandfather is still alive and able to give you away. Once we’re married, we’ll have time to fall in love all over again. If we don’t, then we’ll just deal with it.” He was silent a moment.

“Think about it,” he said at last. “Ryan needs a father. I need a wife. I want children. When you’re ready to give me your answer, you know where to find me. But keep one thing in mind. I won’t ask a third time. This is it.”

Jarod was out the door like an escaping gust of wind without giving her a chance to answer him.
Without touching her.

She stood there long after she’d heard the sound of his truck fade. He’d asked her to marry him for a second time, but he’d meant what he said. If she wanted him, she would have to go after him.

What was it Millie had warned her about a few weeks ago?
Don’t you know about the great wounded warrior inside him? He needed you to believe in him.

Sadie
did
believe in him. She was wildly in love with him. But it was clear he still wasn’t sure about her. Not really. Otherwise he wouldn’t have left so fast. He wouldn’t have mentioned being married in church rather than on the reservation with his uncle Charlo doing the honors. He wasn’t behaving like the Jarod she’d fallen in love with years ago.

It was up to her to prove her love for him. In the past they’d come together as equals. There’d been no need to chase because they’d been one. But that was back then. There was only one thing to do because she wanted the Jarod of eight years ago back again. The man who had no doubts about her, the man who’d ignored her father’s threats and had come to steal her away to the reservation....

By the time Zane came home an hour later, she was out on the front porch waiting for him. “I’m glad you’re back. Did you have a good time?”

“Yes. As a matter of fact I did.” She heard a wealth of meaning behind his words that she intended to explore later. Right now she was in a hurry to find Jarod.

Zane studied her for a moment. “I’m surprised you’re still up. What are you doing out here?”

“Waiting for you to get home. I need to go out again. Do you mind? Ryan’s asleep.”

“Of course I don’t mind. But it’s getting late. I’ll worry about you being out alone.”

“I’m just going to drive next door.”

“Oh. Well, in that case...”

Zane didn’t ask the obvious question. That was one of the reasons she loved him so much. “I’ll only be as far away as my cell.” She grabbed her purse.

With a subtle smile he handed her the keys. Sadie rushed past him to the truck.

When she arrived at the Bannocks and pulled up to the rustic ranch house, there were still half a dozen vehicles parked in front. Her heart raced to see Jarod’s among them.

Making a quick decision, she walked around the side of the house, hoping to catch him helping with the cleanup. Instead, she ran into Connor, who was folding the round tables used for the dinner.

His eyes lit up in pleasure. “Hey! What are you doing back here?”

“I’m looking for Jarod.”

“He’s helping grandfather get to bed. I’ll go tell him you’re out here, but you’re welcome to come inside.”

“Thank you. I’ll stay here.”

He stacked the last table against the wall, then disappeared inside the house. She walked over to the swing and sat to wait. But it had grown cooler, so she got back up to move around.

“You wanted to see me?” Jarod’s deep voice resonated inside her.

She swung around on her high heels. “I didn’t hear you come out. Forgive me for intruding. Connor told me you were helping your grandfather, so if this isn’t a good time, I’ll come again.”

He eyed her through shuttered lids. “If it was important enough for you to see me tonight, then let’s not put it off.” His terse comment alarmed her. “The temperature has dropped. Why don’t we go back to your truck where you can be warm?”

Her truck wasn’t the place she envisioned talking to him, but since he hadn’t invited her in the house, it would have to do. She walked ahead of him, but was so nervous she stumbled several times on the rocky pathway. He was there to cup her elbow till they reached the Silverado.

Sadie climbed into the driver’s seat. She had to hike up the dress she was wearing, and knew Jarod caught a glimpse of leg before he shut the door. She hoped he didn’t think she was being provocative.

After he got in the other side, she said, “Where can we drive so there’s no possibility of Ned watching our every move?”

“Is this going to take a while?” He sounded put out, but
was
he? Or could he be covering some hidden emotion? She had to find out.

Emboldened by her desperation to connect with the old Jarod, she turned to him. “Yes.”

Something flickered in the recesses of his eyes. “How soon do you have to get back?”

“Zane’s home for the night to take care of Ryan.”

“Then we’ll leave your truck here and take off in mine.”

Sadie said a silent prayer of thanksgiving he was willing to listen to her. The next thing she knew he’d helped her down and walked her over to his truck. After opening the door, he gripped her waist without effort and lifted her into the passenger seat.

He drove them two miles up a badly rutted road that zigzagged behind the ranch house. It led to a shelter of pines where they could look down on the whole layout of the Hitting Rocks Ranch. Sadie had never been here before.

Jarod shut off the engine and shifted around, extending an arm along the back of the seats. She felt him tease her hair. “Old habits die hard. I have to reach farther to grab hold. Why did you cut your glorious hair?”

Sadie wasn’t prepared for such a personal comment. “Off with the old seemed like a good idea after I got to California.” She knew better than to ask him why he’d let his grow long. By doing so he’d made a statement that he was proud of his Crow heritage. It told Sadie’s father and Ned Bannock to go to hell. She understood his feelings and loved him all the more for them, but she had to tread carefully right now.

He cocked his dark head. “All right. We’re alone at last with no chance of being disturbed. Let’s get this over with.”

She’d been right. He didn’t believe she believed in him anymore. “Why did you leave the house so fast? You didn’t give me a chance to respond.”

His searching gaze appraised her. “After the failure of our first attempt to become man and wife, I wanted to give you some breathing room before you made a decision about trying a second time. But it seems you didn’t need it. Otherwise you wouldn’t have come right over to the house again. I only need a one-word answer. Since I know what it is, I’ll drive us back and send you home before it gets any later.”

She moaned inwardly. “You’re so sure of my answer?”

He grimaced. “The Sadie I once knew wouldn’t have let me walk out of her house tonight.”

Sadie took a deep breath. “The Jarod I once knew wouldn’t have had to ask me to marry him a second time. He would have drawn me into his arms and told me we were going to get married as soon as it could be arranged.”

His jaw hardened. “You spoke the truth earlier. Too much time has passed. We’re different people now and can’t go back.”

“Isn’t it sad that although our marriage didn’t take place through no fault of our own, the fallout caused us to doubt each other. How does something like that happen?”

“We were young.” His voice grated.

“That’s not all of it, Jarod. Tell me something. What prompted you to ask me to marry you in a church in front of everyone?”

After a prolonged silence he said, “It’s what every woman wants.”

“That isn’t what you planned for us the first time.”

His body tensed. “I railroaded you into doing what I wanted. I thought I owned you. I believed you were mine. But I’ve since learned a man can no more own a person than he can the earth or the sky or the ocean.”

Jarod’s honesty touched her to the marrow. “How do you know it wasn’t what I wanted, too? I would have given anything to have known your mother. You planned that wedding for us in her honor. It thrilled me. I’ve felt cheated ever since.” Her heart was thudding out of control.

“You were too sweet and trusting, Sadie. I took advantage of you.”

“Oh. So when you say we were too young, you really meant that
I
was too young to know my own mind.”

“You weren’t too young, but I know I influenced you.”

“Don’t you know you saved my life the day you found me sobbing on my horse? You helped me to know where to go with my sorrow. You comforted me. Every person could use that kind of influence. I was the lucky one to be able to turn to you.

“What saddens me is to realize that my being a Corkin caused you so much grief. To this day I wonder what I ever did for you to want me for your wife.”

She had to wait a long time for the answer.

“Chief Plenty Coups taught that woman is your equal. She’s a builder, a warrior, a farmer, a healer of the soul. All those qualities I found in you. That’s what you were to me. I believed you loved me.”

Jarod, Jarod.
“Why past tense? I still do,” she said. “That’s never changed. It couldn’t.”

He’d turned his head to stare out the window. Sadie opened her purse and pulled out the bracelet he’d given her the night they’d made love.

“Jarod Bannock? Tonight you asked me to marry you. My answer is
yes,
but there’s a condition. I want us to have the same ceremony you planned for us eight years ago.”

Sadie got on her knees and moved across the seat to lean toward him, getting in his face so he had to look at her. She dangled the beaded bracelet in front of him. “I want Uncle Charlo to marry us on the reservation. I want your family to be there along with the Hensons. In my heart I know your mother and father will be watching and they’ll approve because they know how much I’ve always loved you.”

She’d finally caught his attention.

“Before you fasten it around my wrist for a second time to make this official, there’s something vital you need to know.”

“You’re talking about Ryan,” he said, reading her mind.

“Yes. He comes with me.”

His chest rose and fell. “You’re both flesh of your mother’s flesh. Do you think I could possibly love him any less?”

“No,” she whispered, brushing his mouth with her own. “You have an infinite capacity for loving. I adore you, Jarod.”

Chapter Eight

Her words trickled through his mind and body like the wild, sweet Montana honey dripping from a honeycomb he’d discovered in a tree at the edge of the meadow years ago.

He studied the oval of her face, the passionate curve of her mouth so close to him he felt her breath on his lips. Moonlight illuminated the inside of the cab. Those solemn blue eyes were once again searching his. That was the way she used to look at him, as if he held all the answers to the universe.

“Aren’t you going to put it on me?” He heard the slightest tinge of anxiety in her voice.

The bracelet.

She’d so mesmerized him, Jarod was slow to even breathe. He’d been convinced that when she’d fled to California, that token of his commitment had been lost or destroyed.

His fingers trembled as he caught the ends of the bracelet and fastened it around her wrist. The satisfying click echoed in his heart.

“Sadie—”
Wrapping his arms around her, he lowered his mouth to hers the way he’d done eight years ago; a kiss he’d relived in a thousand dreams. Yet this was no dream. His loving, precious Sadie was back in his arms, alive and welcoming.

For a while those desolate years they’d been apart seemed to fall away while their minds and bodies communicated their need for each other.

“Darling,” she murmured over and over again, as if she, too, was overwhelmed by such emotion.

Sometime later he tasted salt on his lips. “Your eyes are wet,” he whispered against her lids.

“So are yours. I can’t believe we’re together again. It’s been such a long, long time.” Her tear-filled voice reached his soul. They clung to each other, attempting to absorb the quiet sobs of happiness that shook them both. “I’m so thankful we’ve found each other again. Jarod— You don’t know. You just don’t know.”

“But I do.” Jarod kissed the contours of her moist cheeks, then her mouth, never satisfied. She looked and tasted beautiful almost beyond bearing. Their desire for each other had escalated to the point they couldn’t do what they wanted in the confined space of the cab.

“I want you, Sadie. I love you. I’m going to drive us back to the ranch. You’ll stay with me tonight.”

She moaned her assent as he helped her to sit up. “This is going to be a fast trip, so hold on!” Within seconds he started the engine and put the truck in gear to head down the road.

Sadie flashed him one of her disarming smiles. “We don’t need to be in a hurry. My father’s no longer on the lookout. The situation has changed and we’ve got the rest of our lives to be together.”

He grasped her hand and kissed it. “That’s what I thought the night I was coming for you. Never again will I take another moment of loving you for granted.”

“Neither will I.” Her voice shook. “How soon do you think we can be married? I don’t want to wait.”

That sounded like the exciting Sadie he’d thought had disappeared forever. “I’ll talk to Uncle Charlo in the morning.” June third would make the perfect wedding day. By then the deed to the Corkin ranch would be in Zane’s hands, but Jarod wouldn’t settle on an actual date with his uncle until Zane owned it free and clear.

“The dreams I’ve dreamed, Sadie. My grandfather’s health has to hold out long enough to see our first baby come into the world. I can hardly wait to feel movement inside you.”

She nestled closer to him. “Millie told me that if you and I had communicated, we’d probably have one or two little Bannocks by now. It’s all I’ve been able to think of for days now.”

“When I saw you at the graveside service holding Ryan, I was imagining you with our child. It shocked me how strong my feelings ran. Watching you with Ryan, I knew you’d be the sweetest mother on earth. The sooner we give him a brother or sister, the better. Connor and Avery kept me from being an only child.”

How he’d love it if he and Sadie were the ones to give his grandfather his first great-grandchild. Ralph would be overjoyed. Tyson already had three. Jarod’s uncle Charlo would be overjoyed, too. He’d carried a heavy burden over the years watching after Raven’s headstrong son.

She pressed against him to kiss his jaw. “What’s putting that secretive smile on your face?”

He squeezed her hand harder. “In January my uncle told me it was time to go on my vision quest at the top of North Pryor Mountain. It had to be in an area with risks like falling and contact with animals. The more rugged and mysterious the better.”

“The snow would have been too deep!”

“It nearly was, but he told me I’d be guided. He said I possessed the power to achieve my ultimate destiny by using the senses and powers already given to me. After four days of fasting, I came back down and told him my mind was still clouded.”

“Four days?” she cried. “I could never have done that.”

“To be honest, nothing was worse than the way I felt when you never got in touch with me.” Sadie buried her face against his shoulder. “My uncle told me my quest wasn’t in vain. With more time all would be made clear, but I had to develop patience because everything else in my life had come too easily.”

She lifted her head. “Too easily? You lost your mother, then your father and stepmother!”

“But I was given an uncle, grandparents and siblings, a home, money, education, good health. Grades came without effort. I had everything I wanted. And when I decided I wanted Sadie Corkin, I went after her. By some miracle I was able to snatch her away from all the other guys who were hot for her.”

“Jarod!”

“That’s the word for it, and I was the worst. I came up with a secret plan to marry the one girl in the county who was off-limits to me. I would have succeeded, too. But fate stepped in and taught me life’s most bitter lesson.”

Jarod covered her hand with his own. “When Ben told me your father had died, all I could think about was you rather than your loss. Suddenly my uncle’s comment about my quest not having been in vain came into my mind.”

She kissed the side of his neck. “There wasn’t a day in my life that I didn’t yearn to come home and find out why you’d stopped loving me. We’ve had to endure so much needless pain.”

“Not only us. Everyone who loved us was affected, Sadie.”

“I know. I’m still having trouble believing we’re back together.”

They reached the ranch house in record time. He pulled around in front and parked. After shutting off the engine, he reached out to hold her in his arms.

“By morning you’ll believe it. Tomorrow when I ask my uncle to help prepare for our wedding, I’ll thank him for being a great and wise man who guided me through my trials on the way to finding my ultimate destiny. He’ll give me one of those long sober looks, as if he can see into the future, but I know he’ll be smiling inside.”

“I know the one you mean. That’s how he looked at me the night he praised you. He couldn’t love you more if you were his own son.”

“That’s how I already feel about Ryan,” he whispered into her hair. “But right now I want to concentrate on us. I desperately need to love you all night.”

She looped her arms around his neck and clung to him. “I’ve been thinking about that and would rather we went back to my house. Yours is full of family and they don’t know about us yet. It might be a shock when Connor and Avery see us walk out of your bedroom in the morning.”

“A happy shock because I’ve been impossible to live with. They’ll get down on their knees to you for coming back to me.” He bit gently on her earlobe. “Zane could be a different story.”

“You’re wrong. We have no secrets. Follow me home. Our being together won’t shock him since he knows how long I’ve been ready to walk through fire for you. His one reaction will be relief that we’ve been able to find each other again after our painful history.”

“Then let’s not waste another second.” He got out of the cab and went around to help her down. Knowing she was all his to love had made him euphoric. Their mouths fused before he swung her around and carried her over to her truck. After putting her inside he shut the door. “I’ll be right behind you.”

A shadow crossed over her face. “Promise me.” She couldn’t prevent the tremor in her voice. “If anything happened to you now...” He knew she was thinking of Ned.

“I’ll sit on your bumper.”

Her expression brightened before she started the engine. He retraced the steps to his truck and they formed a caravan to the Corkin property. Connor knew Jarod was with Sadie. He’d phone if there was an emergency with their grandfather.

Jarod checked his watch. It was ten to one. For the first time in their lives they had nothing to worry about except to love and be loved. As he followed behind her, he anticipated their true wedding night. She’d always been fascinated with the bygone traditions of his mother’s people. The vision of disappearing into their own tepee after the ceremony wouldn’t leave him alone.

After Sadie had parked in front of her place, she jumped down from the truck and held out her hand to him. When he reached her, she ran toward the porch, pulling him as if she were in the race of her life. They both were.

But she had to get the house key from her purse. When he saw how she was trembling, he reached for it. “Let me.” Within seconds he’d found it. After unlocking the door, he opened it and followed her into the living room.

“Sadie?” A light went on and they discovered Zane standing near the the window.

She came to a halt. “Zane. Is something wrong with Ryan?”

That was Jarod’s first thought, as well.

“No, but I’m glad you’re both here because we need to talk. Mr. Bree emailed me to let me know he has a client coming by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. to look at the house and property.” His gaze flicked to Jarod. “A little while after that your cousin Ned came by. When he found out Sadie wasn’t home he left, but I was afraid he’d wait for her outside so I’ve been keeping watch. I didn’t phone because I knew the two of you were together.”

She frowned. “What did he want?”

His mouth thinned into a tight line. “
He’s
the client planning to buy the ranch and do a walk-through with the Realtor in the morning.”

“But he’s a Bannock!”

“That part of your father’s will won’t hold up in court.”

“So that
criminal
who came close to murdering Jarod is planning to buy this ranch out from under us?” Her outrage was as real as Jarod’s. “Over my dead body! How dare he come by here this late to trample over our lives!”

“My thoughts exactly,” Zane muttered. “He claimed he was hoping to talk to you at the party, but he saw you leave with Ryan so he thought he’d still find you up.”

Sadie’s proud chin lifted. Jarod knew that look. “What did you tell him?”

“That I was buying the ranch and had already put down earnest money. He gave me a superior smile and said that unless I was paying more than $700,000, I didn’t have enough money to close the deal.”

“Neither does he. I’m not sure he has a dime to his name.”

Zane’s brows lifted. “That may be true, but I thought I’d better tell you that tonight because June third is only four days away. I think we’d better start looking for another ranch around here within our price range.”

The woman at Jarod’s side had gone quiet. Much as he didn’t want either Sadie or Zane to know what was going on behind the scenes, he needed to say enough to take the shattered looks off their faces. He put an arm around Sadie, pulling her close.

“He was bluffing, Zane. I do the ranching accounts. Sadie’s right. Ned doesn’t have any savings, and his father can’t fund him any more loans. He certainly can’t depend on his grandfather. Tyson has helped all his grandchildren to the point he doesn’t have that kind of money, either. He’s using scare tactics, but it won’t work. Your bid is right in the ball park so don’t give up.”

“We won’t!” Sadie declared. “I know it’s Mr. Bree’s job, but it infuriates me to think he has the right to come here with Ned, who would do anything to hurt me for loving Jarod.”

After her revealing explosion, Zane eyed the two of them with interest. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve got something to tell me?”

Sadie extended her arm. “Jarod put this bracelet back on me tonight. It’s the one from his mother’s family he gave me eight years ago. We’re going to get married right away.”

A broad smile lit Zane’s face. “That the best news I ever heard.” He gave her a loving hug, then shook Jarod’s hand. “When’s the wedding?”

Jarod stared down at her. “As soon as it can be arranged.”

“Good. It needs to happen fast. I have to tell you this girl has been dying for you.”

“Zane—” Her blush warmed Jarod’s heart. “You’re the first person to know.”

“When we’ve picked the date, we’ll tell everyone. We plan to keep it to family only. My uncle will be marrying us out on the reservation.”

“That sounds like heaven,” Zane said. “Little Ryan’s going to have an amazing dad who’ll open fascinating new worlds for him.”

Jarod picked up a nuance in the other man’s tone. In truth Zane had been the only father Ryan had known since he was born. Zane loved his nephew deeply, and was one of the most genuine, likable men Jarod had ever met. But their news had just changed his world again. “I hope one day to live up to the hero uncle Sadie raves about.”

“That’s nice to hear. Thanks, Jarod. Now that you’re both home safely and have heard the bad news, I’ll go to bed.”

Sadie gave him another hug before he left the living room. When she turned to Jarod he planted his hands on her shoulders. “I’m going to leave.”

“No—” She flung herself at him. It reminded him of the night before they were to be married. She’d clung to him then, too, not wanting to be parted from him. “We’re not going to let Ned ruin this night for us.”

“He doesn’t have the power.”

“Then is it because of Zane being here?”

“No, Sadie.” He kissed away her tears. “But it
does
have to do with him.”

She shook her blond head in confusion. “What’s changed since we came in the house?”

“He just found out we’re getting married right away. In his mind the plans you two had to ranch together have suddenly gone up in smoke. He sees his nephew slipping away from him and fears he might not be able to buy the ranch, after all. You told me he moved here with you to start a new life after his divorce, but tonight we dropped a bomb on him.”