In Focus (2009) (22 page)

‘You don’t mind, though?’

‘Why should I? I think it’s great that you’re not on your own and I told you before, I really like Nat.’ She heard a sigh of relief.

‘He has a house not far from you, Beth. It’s a big place. This is the address . . . It’ll take me a couple of weeks to sort through my stuff and decide what to keep, so I’m not moving in with him immediately.’

‘If you’re throwing anything out, you might think of Jo and Ghita. Their furniture is very old. We can always store it at my warehouse unit till they need it.’

‘Good idea.’

There was silence and Beth quickly realized there was something else on her mother’s mind. She waited, knowing Linda didn’t like to be rushed.

‘Beth, how did you contact Greg – I mean, Pete?’

‘I got hold of his office address, which isn’t public knowledge. But if Edward hadn’t been there, I’d not have made it past his dragon of a PA, so I doubt it’d be much use to you.’

‘Could you give the address to me anyway?’

‘Edward’s not there any more. He’s resigned.’

‘I still want to see your brother. Surely you understand that?’

‘I don’t want you walking into nastiness. How about I ask Edward’s advice?’

There was a moment’s silence, then, ‘All right. But I don’t want to wait too long.’

‘Oh, Mum, is it worth it? Pete doesn’t want to see us – and he wasn’t nice about telling me that. You’ll just get hurt.’

‘I’ve been hurt already. Nothing can be worse than not knowing if your child is alive. I know you’re trying to protect me, Beth, but I have a right to see him in person – at least once. It’ll be up to him whether we meet again.’

As she put the phone down, Beth decided that if her mother did go to see him, she’d go with her, in case . . . Well, just in case.

The next day Pete drove out to visit his mother. He still couldn’t quite believe he was adopted and it made him angry not to have known. Why hadn’t his parents told him? That’s what people did these days, surely? You were supposed to be open about such things.

Fate must have been watching over him, because his mind definitely wasn’t on his driving as he made his way over to his mother’s.

If he’d known he was adopted all his life, perhaps it’d not have been such a shock. A wave of pain ran through him. He was surprised at how much it had upset him. He couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he didn’t know who he was any more.

He felt guilty now about how rude he’d been to Beth Harding – he simply couldn’t think of her as his sister, just could not, but there had been no need to be so cruel. He couldn’t help wondering what his birth mother was like and how she had come to lose her son.

Another thing that upset him was if Sue Newbury wasn’t his mother, Edward wasn’t really his cousin. He was still going to think of Edward as a relative. They’d grown up together, well, they had from about ten years old, after Edward’s parents had been killed.

Once he grew older, Pete had thought it strange that his father hadn’t associated with his brother before then. He’d never even met his cousin before Edward came to live with them. Had his parents kept their distance because of him and the adoption?
Surely they hadn’t known that he’d been kidnapped?

It made his head spin to think of the possible explanations. He had to find the truth.

After he’d spoken to his mother, the most important thing to do would be get Edward back as his manager and agent. He wasn’t appointing anyone else because he didn’t
want
anyone else. Edward could be trusted. Everyone knew that agents sometimes screwed their clients and Pete didn’t intend that to happen. No way. He’d worked hard for his money and he enjoyed being well off.

Well, here he was.

As he drew up, he saw his mother working in the garden, hand watering some flowers that looked absolutely perfect. She was certainly good at creating beautiful gardens, he had to give her that.

She was also good at keeping secrets. Too damned good.

When she saw the convertible, she stood up with a smile and walked to open the gate. ‘Pete, dear, what a pleasant surprise!’

He couldn’t return her smile. ‘I’m not sure you’re going to think that when you hear what I have to tell you. Shall we go inside?’

She turned so white, he wished he’d spoken more gently. He made her sit down while he got them each a cup of tea, then he took the chair facing hers. ‘Drink that up then I’ll tell you why I came.’

She made a pretence of drinking then set the half-full cup down, clasping her hands in her lap, but not before he’d seen them trembling. He felt bad about that, but not bad enough to stop.

‘Don’t keep me waiting any longer, darling. Something’s very wrong, I can tell. What is it? You’re not ill?’

‘No. Nothing wrong with my health. There never is.’ He fiddled with his cup, then put it down and took a deep breath. ‘Why didn’t you tell me I was adopted, Mum?’

She didn’t move, not an inch, but tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as if they had a separate life. He didn’t touch her or try to comfort her – couldn’t. He still felt cheated that his parents had kept such crucial information from him.

‘Why didn’t you tell me, Mum?’

‘Your father thought it best.’

‘And you? Did you have any opinion about it?’

She was silent for so long and was still chalky white, so he asked, ‘Are you all right, Mum?’

She stretched one hand out towards him then let it drop when he didn’t take it. ‘I always did what Donald wanted. He was . . . very much in charge. You know that.’

‘Tell me how you got me.’

She stared down at her lap. ‘’I couldn’t have any more children, so we tried to adopt. They said it wouldn’t be easy and the only possibility would be a child from overseas or a child with problems. Your father was much older than me, you see. But Donald was adamant: no mixed-race children, no problem children either.’

‘But you found me in the end.’

‘We adopted you privately. And – I think your father pulled some strings. I didn’t ask, but I overheard him on the phone. I wanted a child so much, you see. I do know that he got the records changed – don’t ask me how – and we took our own son’s identity for you, even his name.
Don’t look at me like that!
’ She began to sob.

‘How the hell did Dad manage that?’

‘I didn’t question anything. Donald told me he’d found an unmarried mother who couldn’t manage on her own. He said she wanted to choose the adoptive parents who took her son, so she’d always feel she’d done the best thing for him.

‘I met her. She was quiet, seemed very nice. She asked me questions, then she came back another day with her son. You. She said you’d been ill. You huddled on the couch beside her, looking so helpless and unhappy, I had to hold you in my arms. And you came to me, not her. It was as if you were meant to be
my
son.

‘My main worry was that she might change her mind and try to get you back, though she never did. But because friends and family knew about our son dying, we had to move and change our whole lives. So we did. I’d have done anything to keep you, Pete, anything.’

He sat quietly, trying to take all this in.
She didn’t know about the kidnapping.

‘We told everyone we were going to live in Australia, and we did for a while.’

‘I remember that! Well, I remember the sun and going to the beach. But you told me later that we’d been living in France. How the hell many lies did you tell me?’

‘Too many. I’m sorry.’

He stared down at his clenched fists and had to make a conscious effort to speak calmly. ‘Go on.’

‘From then on, you were our son in every way that mattered.’

‘What about the baby who died, the one whose birth certificate I’m using? What happened to him?’

‘He was premature, only lived for a few weeks. He was beautiful, but so small.’

He saw more tears roll down her cheeks, was choked with emotion himself. You read about this sort of thing, but you didn’t expect to find yourself in the middle of such a horror story. His world had been turned upside down and on top of that, his parents had acted in a criminal way.

Whatever his father had told his mother, someone had actually snatched him from his real family and that thought made him feel hollow inside. Beth Harding said her brother had simply vanished one day and no trace of him had ever been found. So it was worse than a private adoption, much worse.

It was criminal.

He looked across at his mother as something else occurred to him. ‘So the ReGress image was correct. That was what I really looked like when I was three.’

She nodded then said in a voice husky with tears, ‘It was like a nightmare that evening, seeing you on the screen, knowing someone might recognize you. You shouldn’t have done that to me, Pete! You should have asked me beforehand. I don’t know how I kept calm, but I knew I must or I could lose everything that mattered to me.’

‘You certainly kept your cool, even had me fooled.’ He realized he was drumming his fingers on the arm of the couch and stopped. He’d known it’d be hard to talk to her about this, but not how much it would hurt.

‘Someone must have recognized you that night. Who was it?’

‘My birth sister.’ He pushed his sweater sleeve up and brandished his arm at her. ‘Not only did she recognize my face, but there was this as the clincher. You can’t hide a scar as distinctive as this.’

She went very still, one hand at her throat where a pulse fluttered wildly, then she said, ‘I didn’t know your mother had another child.’

‘There was a lot you didn’t know.’

‘What more could there be?’ It was a whisper, a mere scrape of sound.

‘There was no unmarried mother. Someone kidnapped me from my real parents and gave me to you. The woman you met must have been part of it. I wonder how much Dad paid for me.’

‘No!
No!
I don’t believe it. Donald wouldn’t, he
couldn’t
steal another woman’s child!’ She began to sob, so hysterical he had to move across and comfort her. She clung to him, weeping and sobbing, begging him not to hate her. He could only pat her back and try to make soothing noises, though he felt anything but calm.

He wished there was someone to comfort him.

As she began to quieten, she pulled away from him. ‘I didn’t know you’d been kidnapped, Pete, I swear to you, I didn’t know.’

‘I believe you. But Dad knew, didn’t he?’

‘He must have done.’ She swallowed hard and more tears ran down her cheeks. ‘That poor woman, your real mother! Is she still alive?’

‘Apparently. I’ve only met my sister so far.’

‘What’s she like?’

‘Thin, works as a cleaner – a cleaner of all things! How will that look? Oh, and she has the same colour hair as me. She’s a bit older than I am, remembers me vanishing.’

‘What does she say about her mother?’

He hesitated. ‘She says her mother had a nervous breakdown after I was taken.’

‘What about her father?’

‘Her parents split up. She doesn’t see much of him now. Don’t look like that, Mum. It wasn’t your fault they split up.’

‘People do split up after they’ve lost a child. I’ve read about it. So I’m partly to blame.’

‘People split up for other reasons, like me and Fran.’

She didn’t seem to hear his last remark. ‘How can I ever make it up to them both?’

He held her at arm’s length and gave her a little shake to get her full attention. ‘Mum, let’s get one thing straight. There’s going to be no attempt to make it up to them. If you admit to wrongdoing, the authorities might prosecute you, even jail you.’

‘Prosecute?’

‘Yes.’

She let out a whimper. ‘But I didn’t
know.
’

‘We’ve only got your word for that. If they’re mercenary, these two women may try to sue you for all you’ve got.’

‘What I’ve got now wouldn’t be nearly enough to make it worth their while,’ she said bitterly. ‘And money’s the least of my worries. How can I ever forgive myself for taking another woman’s child?’

‘Mum, stop this. It happened a long time ago. You didn’t know I’d been kidnapped and—’

She mopped away a tear. ‘I did know the adoption wasn’t being done in the usual way, though. I did know there was something underhand about it. But not that. I never thought of that, even in my darkest nightmares.’

‘Promise me you’ll do nothing without consulting me.’

She looked at him and it was the way she’d always looked at his father, submissive. As she nodded slowly, he let out his breath in relief, but he was finding it hard to stay calm and had to get out of the claustrophobic little house, so stood up.

‘Don’t leave yet, Pete.’

‘I need time to think, Mum.’

‘You must hate me.’

‘Of course I don’t! You’re my mother in every way that matters.’ He pulled her into his arms and gave her a hug, then a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘I’ll be in touch.’

She began to sob once more but he walked out, at the end of his endurance. He drove off as quickly as he could. For once, she didn’t come to the doorway and wave to him, which was all part of the strangeness of the day.

He needed Edward now, he really, really needed to see him.

Without taking any conscious decision, Pete drove towards his cousin’s flat, surprised when he found himself in the car park there because he didn’t remember anything about the journey from his mother’s. If his cousin wasn’t in, Pete intended to camp out on the doorstep till he returned.

He rang the doorbell and the intercom buzzed. He groaned in relief. ‘Edward, it’s me.’

‘I don’t want to see you. Go away.’

And then he couldn’t hold himself together any longer. He began to sob and plead with his cousin, as out of control as his mother had been.

‘Oh, hell. What’s wrong now? Come on up, Pete.’