In my Arms Tonight (NYC Singles Book 2) (10 page)

Kat’s heart flipped in sympathy when she saw the misery on his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” There was no emotion in his voice. “I’m glad I could talk to her before she died, even if she kept mentioning that she’d have liked to see me married.”

Kat giggled. “I’m wondering about that, too. Why aren’t you married?”

Alex’s bachelor status was odd, considering how accomplished he was. And he was past forty. This was the age by which most men had three kids and a divorce.

“What makes you think I’m not married?” He ran a hand across his chiseled jaw.

“You’re married?” A gasp floated out of her throat.

Imagining him having a nice sweet wife… she didn’t know why that thought made her veins freeze to ice. Maybe because she’d been having inappropriate feelings around him all day long and it almost made her feel like an adulteress.

Upset, she snapped into her reporter mode. “What’s your wife’s name? Profession? Education? Religious affiliation? Alma mater?”

He laughed, then angled his brow. His grin was so charmingly boyish that she had to blink to make sure it was still him. Was he capable of being that playful?

“Got you there, didn’t I?” He clasped his hand together. For a moment, she was struck.

“So you’re not married,” Kat said, more than a little relieved.

He contemplated for a breath. “No, but I came close to getting married once.”

“How close?” The thudding of her heart was irrational. Why was she so curious about his personal life anyway?

“All the way to the altar.” His back faced her now, his front looking out at the cityscape.

“Then what happened? You changed your mind? Decided it was a bad idea?”

“She didn’t turn up.”

“You got jilted?” Drawing a ragged breath, Kat felt her cheeks go hot. “That’s awful.”

A runaway bride, no parents… that was one unlucky life he had.

Alex’s shrug was nonchalant, but the anger hardening his jaw gave his true feelings away. “No big deal. The affair only set me back by a few thousand dollars. But it was a lesson learnt. No more expensive weddings for me.” Sarcasm chomped through the words.

“You paid for the wedding?” Kat wiped droplets of sweat off her nose.

“She wasn’t earning at that point. But looking back, I think it’s sad that all I remember about that wedding is the cost.”

“Well, the wedding didn’t actually happen, so you have nothing else to remember.” Biting the inside of her cheek, Kat

“True, but I can’t even remember her birthday and I’m generally good with details like that,” The navy blue jacket hanging on him came off. “I’m getting old.”

Kat snorted. “You’re not old. You’re only forty-six. Forties is the prime of life.”

“I thought thirties was the prime of life.” He switched to a whisper.

She shook her head in an emphatic no. “Thirties are when you’re stuck with making the transition from being an irresponsible twenty-something to having kids, paying mortgage, getting married and fighting for a middle-management position.”

Making a small, funny gesture, Alex came around to her side. “Are you married, Kat?”

“Nope. Neither do I have kids or a middle-management position. I haven’t trapped myself in the thirties cycle yet.”

“Are you planning to trap yourself someday?” She could be wrong, but Kat detected hope in his voice.

“Do I look like that type of woman? The type to get married and have kids?” she snarled.

“I didn’t know there was a ‘type’ of woman who wanted to get married and have kids.” His hand met the curve of his hip.

Immediately she felt defensive. “So you assume that’s what every woman wants? Marriage and kids?”

She’d been on the receiving end of so many ‘How can you not want marriage and kids’ and ‘You’ll die lonely’ lectures and if he gave her another one of those, she was going to blow. Sometimes, she felt like she was fighting a lifelong battle against the expectations of society by avoiding marriage and kids.

“No, I assume you don’t need to be a certain ‘type’ of woman to want those things. But I can tell you don’t want all that.”

“Damn right I don’t,” came her vexed drawl.

“And you feel strongly about it,” he added with an approving nod. “Which is admirable.”

Her jaw came unhinged. Collecting herself, Kat locked her fingers around the strap of her bag. “You’re the first person who’s ever said that to me.”

“Said what?” A wedge of light drew a crescent on his stubbly cheekbone.

“That it’s admirable to have the conviction to not want to get married. Most people tell me that by the time I’m thirty-five, I’ll be overtaken by a mysterious, magical need to be a mother and banish the loneliness in my life with a man.” She shut in the cold fury that tried to rise. “Or that I’ll become a lonely old lady with fifty cats and when I die, my corpse will rot for weeks before my cats decide to feast on it and leave nothing to bury.”

His beautiful, gravelly laugh made her body sizzle. “Cats don’t eat human flesh, darling.”

Darling
. She could get used to him calling her that. And she absolutely shouldn’t.

“I think it’s pop culture’s fault for glorifying love and togetherness to an unhealthy extent. I mean, people nowadays think it’s abnormal to not want a happily-ever-after. But I’m content with whatever I have. I really don’t feel like I need anything else to be happy and I’m not holding out for some unrealistic Mr. Right. I know you think I’m saying that because I’m young and I’ll change my mind once I’m older, but I don’t think so.” She could go on and on, but she had to take a breath.

“You’re riled up,” Alex observed.

“I can’t help it. This issue always makes me angry. But why am I taking it out on you? You’re not the one telling me to… do anything.” She was overreacting. So much. Raising her hand to her head, she tried to calm herself down. Which was difficult when she felt so passionately about this.

“Kat—”

“Stop. Don’t ask me that.” She shook her finger at him warningly.

“Ask you what?”

“You were going to ask me who broke my heart and made me stop believing in love, weren’t you?”

“No, I was going to ask you whether you wanted to look through the binoculars.” Alex tapped on the gray, huge thing. “The view’s breathtaking.”

Her face warmed from humiliation. Sighing, Kat bent down. “I think I should do that.”

Give her anger some time to settle.

Through the lens, she grabbed a view of the metropolis spanning over acres.

“This marriage and kids issue is really important to you, isn’t it?” Alex murmured, standing beside her, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah. And every time I say it to someone, people look at me like I’m a freak. Making personal choices according to what I believe in makes me evil and selfish, apparently. I once wrote a piece for the
New York Times
magazine on choosing to remain childless. You won’t believe how much hate mail I got for that. I was called everything from a slut to a spawn of Satan. I don’t hate kids. I just don’t want to have any.”

Alex’s hands rested on her back. Because it felt good to have them there, Kat didn’t say anything.

“It’s sad to see that even in the twenty-first century, women can’t make reproductive choices without being judged and criticized. It makes me angry and it makes me sad.” She pulled down her dress that had ridden up.

“And it makes you feel isolated because nobody is on the same page as you?” Alex finished.

“I mean it’s my choice. I’m not telling other people to not have kids. But why am I always being told how to make my choices?” Her voice was hard.

“If it makes you feel any better, I agree with you.” Alex picked up his head.

Bristling, Kat frowned. “Why do you want to make me feel better?”

“Because in case you missed it, I’m forty-six and unmarried with no children. I’ve been through my fair share of speculation and set-ups.” He shook his head, rolling his eyes.

Breath hitched in her throat. He didn’t know how much it meant to her that he’d just said that. That he’d understood her. That he’d made her feel like she was not alone, that she was not the only one fighting this battle every day.

It was a powerful moment.

Finally, after all these years, somebody got her. Somebody understood where she was coming from and where she wanted to go and accepted that.

Alex continued talking. Although New York City was sprawled in front of her eyes, the only thing she could see right now was Alex’s face. “The ideals that we deeply believe in, I don’t think we can change them. And I don’t think we should change them, either.”

“Yeah.” Kat hit her head against the silver blob of metal, when she straightened.

When she looked ahead, she realized her eyes were blurred with water.

You’re probably the only woman in the world who can get sentimental over something like this
.

The reaction caught her by surprise, but before she could ponder, her phone started ringing. The caller ID showed ‘Sister’.

That wasn’t a call she could miss.

“My sister’s calling. Mind if I—”

“Go ahead.” Alex bent down, taking his turn at the binoculars.

Kat moved a few steps away to avoid disturbing him.

“Kitty Kat.” Her sister’s over-enthusiastic voice blasted into her ears like a chorus of trumpets.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Kat barked at her sister. “And why’re you up in the middle of the night?”

“It’s afternoon in Melbourne.”

Kat inhaled. “Sorry, I forgot you’re playing at the Australian Open. How’s it going so far?”

“I won my first game!” From the loud thud of feet, Keira was jumping up and down in joy. “Can you believe it? Coach is real pleased with me.”

“Congratulations. That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you,” Kat gushed, moving the phone to her her other ear.

Keira had always been immensely talented at tennis, but she’d never played a tournament as big as the Australian Open before. Kat was a bit awed that she’d won her first match.

“Watch out.” Alex turned back over his shoulder when she bumped into him.

His voice was exactly what Keira needed to launch into an ear-piercing squeak. “Kat, why’re you with a guy? I mean, OMG, you’re with a guy? A guy?”

Kat hid her embarrassment under layers of fake calm. “Shut up. He’s a colleague.”

“A colleague who’s sleeping with you? Because otherwise what would he be doing with you at your house past midnight?” Keira’s voice held unbridled hope.

Heat sizzled Kat’s cheeks, even though Alex couldn’t hear anything her sister was saying.

“I’m not at home. I’m somewhere else,” she mumbled, keeping her voice low.

“His home?”

Kat grunted. “The Empire State Building.”

“You’re with a guy on the Empire State Building at two am. That sounds alarmingly like a date, sis. I’m curious. Is he hot? Cute? Rich? What’s his name?”

There she went, jumping to conclusions.

Kat swept her out-of-control red hair behind her ear. “Let’s talk about your game. Tell me the score. How badly did you beat...whoever you were playing against?”

Unlike her father, she could not be bothered to keep tabs of who Keira was playing against.

“No, let’s talk about this guy. The game’s over and I’ve won. You know what? Bring him to dinner. I’ll be home in a month and I want to see him. I bet Mom wants to, too. She doesn’t say it because she doesn’t want to hurt you, but like the rest of us, she hopes you won’t die alone.”

“Keira, stop it,” Kat chided.

“I’ll stop. Just let me talk to him. One minute. I want to hear his voice. Please, please, please. Let me, let me, let me.”

Keira talking in triplets was not a good sign. Usually, this meant she kept going on and on until she got what she wanted. Which right now was talking to Alex.

“Okay, one sec.” Kat gave in, knowing she couldn’t win. “Alex, do you mind just saying a quick hello to my sister?” She needed an excuse. “She...supports you for mayor and she has a few questions.”

Bullshit. Keira didn’t know enough about politics to support anyone or ask questions.

“’Kay.” Alex nodded.

“Her name’s Keira. I’ll turn on speaker mode.” Kat gave him some details to put things in context.

“Hello… Keira.” Alex hesitated.

“OMG, he has such a sexy voice. I think I’m melting.” Since Keira’s volume rose in proportion to her excitement, it was approaching deafening decibels now. “Good catch, sis.”

Alex couldn’t smother his laugh and Kat couldn’t help her face from exploding into a splotch of red. This gave mortifying a new meaning.

“Thanks. I’ll take it from here,” Kat said, salvaging whatever dignity she had remaining.

Turning off the speaker, Kat shouted at her sister. “What are you doing? Why are you embarrassing me? I told you he’s a colleague.”

“Come on. How long are you going to hide it?” Keira remained totally unapologetic. Sometimes, it was hard to believe that Keira was fourteen because she acted so immature.