In My Father's Shadow (8 page)

She lifted her head and met his gaze, her bottom lip
trembling. “I…umm…I didn’t want you…messing…with her.”

“That’s not going to fly. I’m not buying that at
all.” He stroked her cheek, his eyes softening. “What’s the
problem, Al?”

She rose abruptly and wrapped her arms around her
torso, her heart teetering on the edge of a deep precipice, not
sure which way to go.

“Al?” he said as he approached her from behind. He
placed a soft hand on her shoulder. “Talk to me, please.”

She turned to face him, fear and excitement
thundering in her veins. She grabbed hold of his shirt, fisting the
material, and pulled him closer. A bit of shock shot through his
eyes but she was determined to do this – to let him know.

“I wanted it to be me,” she said, firmly, then locked
her hands behind his neck and yanked his lips to hers. She kissed
him timidly at first until he sighed and wound his arms around her
waist. His move built her courage and she deepened the kiss,
allowing her fingers to tangle in the ends of his hair. He
tightened his hold and returned her kiss, making her heart beat so
hard she was afraid it would totally tire out and she’d need a
shock to get it going again.

His hands rubbed soft, gentle circles on her back
while urging her closer as he continued to kiss her, building her
hope. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Maybe he felt the same way.
Maybe they’d be able to work something out. Maybe…

“Stop, Al,” he said mumbled against her mouth as he
gently extricated himself from her arms. She blinked slowly, trying
to comprehend what he said. He smiled at her and stroked her cheek.
“We need to stop.”

“But I don’t want to stop,” she protested, her lips
still humming from his kiss.

His eyes turned sympathetic and it stabbed her heart,
slowing its rate and freezing her blood. “We can’t do this.”

“Why not?” she persisted, holding tightly to her
strength, not wanting to dissolve into a puddle of emotion at his
feet.

He backed up and plopped on the bed, pulling her
beside him. “Because, Al. We’ve talked about this before,
remember?”

She slapped his hands away and pushed her hair out of
her face. “No, we didn’t. You just said we can’t do this, that’s
all. I want to know why. Don’t you want to be with me? Or are all
these feelings one-sided?”

He closed his eyes and groaned, falling to his back.
“It’s more complicated than that and you know it.”

“No, I don’t,” she huffed.

“I told you,” he said as he pinched the bridge of his
nose. “I need to concentrate on the band right now. And if we did
do this, what happens next year while you’re still in school and
I’m not? What if the band makes it and we’re out of town all the
time?” He sat up and snatched her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Or what happens if we try this and it doesn’t work. What happens
to our friendship? Our friendship with each other and with RJ and
Jamie?”

She got up off the bed and walked to the window,
parting the curtains to stare at the night. “My mom and dad were
best friends and look at them. They love you, Cole, like a son. And
you’re dad, I’m pretty sure, loves me. My mom dated my dad her last
year of school and he was in a band. They were constantly separated
yet they found a way to make it work. And as far as our friends go,
I think they’d stick by us no matter what, even if this thing
between us didn’t work, which I’m willing to bet my inheritance
that it will.”

“Al,” he groaned sitting up and running his hands
through his hair. “You’re not listening to me.”

“And you’re not listening to me,” she said as she
whirled around to face him, eyes ablaze. She paused and sucked in a
breath, her hand flying to her mouth. “Oh, wait. You’re letting me
down easy, aren’t you? You’re not attracted to me so you’re making
excuses.”

“No,” he said as he sprang to his feet and crossed
the room. “I would never lie to you about something like this.
Ever.” He gripped her shoulders and forced her to look in his eyes.
“Al, I’m being totally honest with you, here. I care about you, you
know that. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Maybe I’m hurt now,” she said, cringing at her
pitiful voice. She hated begging but she just couldn’t help
herself. All the confusing feelings and raging emotions were
finally coming to a head and she needed to get it all out.

He lifted his eyes to the ceiling, sucking in a deep
breath. She knew he was trying to hang on to his patience – trying
to keep things together. “Al, I don’t want to hurt you and I’m
afraid that’s what will happen. Don’t you understand that? I’m
trying to protect you!”

A couple tears finally escaped from her eyes and
rolled down her cheeks. She planted her palms on his chest and
shoved him away, anger pounding in her ears. “Well you’re doing a
pretty horrible job,” she said before slamming the bathroom door
and locking herself inside. A few minutes later, after she heard
the room door open and close, did the real tears surface as she
slid to the floor.

Chapter Seven

The next week dragged by horribly. Cole’s mood had
not improved at all since Sunday and he couldn’t wait for the
weekend so he could go home and talk to his dad.

He’d left the hotel room Saturday night after it
became apparent Ally wasn’t going to come out of the bathroom while
he was around. He’d walked around the hotel for over an hour,
hoping to give Ally enough time to cool down. By the time he’d
returned, she’d been tucked in her bed with the lights off,
sleeping. Or at least she’d been pretending to be asleep. He’d just
crawled into bed and listened to her soft cries, wanting nothing
more but to comfort her. But he hadn’t trusted himself to touch her
again so he’d pulled his own fake sleep act and stayed where he
was.

She’d refused to speak to him at all the next morning
and had insisted on driving home with Jamie. And once they’d all
returned to school, she’d collected her things and disappeared in
her dorm. He hadn’t seen her since. RJ and Jamie had pestered him
about what had happened and all he had told them was that they’d
argued again and she’d cool off soon.

“Cole,” Jennifer Mansfeld called out, stopping him
from reaching the music building. She smiled and grabbed his arm.
“You still haven’t told me if we were going to the Fall Festival
dance together.”

He rolled his eyes and held in a breath. He
definitely wasn’t in the mood to deal with her – he already had a
headache forming behind his eyes. “I told you I probably wasn’t
going.”

“Exactly. You said probably not definitely.” She did
a sort of flirty knee bend thing, beaming at him the entire time.
She was pretty, sure, with chestnut hair and hazel eyes, but she
paled in comparison to Ally.

He shrugged and continued walking, hoping to shake
her off or force her to get the hint. She was undeterred, though,
and kept up with his fast pace.

“I have already turned down two guys because I
thought for sure we’d go.” She looped her arm through the crook of
his and he knew she wasn’t going to let him off that easily.

Suddenly, images of Ally dressed in a long, flowing
skirt and dancing in his arms flooded his mind. Everything reminded
him of her lately and he desperately wanted it to stop. He released
a long sigh, looked at Jennifer and nodded. “Fine. We’ll go. Now if
you’ll excuse me, I have practice.” He brushed past her and missed
the triumphant look in her eyes.

His cell phone rang as he entered the music building,
his heels echoing off the floor and bouncing off the walls. He
checked the screen and he smiled for the first time in days.

“Hey, Dad. What’s up?”

“Done with classes?” Nate Crawford asked.

“Yeah. I’m waiting for the other guys to meet me for
practice. How was L.A.?” He pushed open the music room door and
dropped down on the piano bench, forcing Ally’s face from his
mind.

“Same old, same old.” Nate took a deep breath.
“You’re still coming home this weekend, right?”

“Yeah. Is something the matter?” he asked, his heart
pausing for the answer.

“No, not at all. I just want to talk to you about
something. It’s not bad news, I promise.”

But Cole wasn’t reassured. He could tell something
was on his dad’s mind and he hoped that Nate hadn’t been lying to
him – he hoped it truly wasn’t bad news. “Okay. Umm, I might have
to give Ally and Alec a ride.”

“That’s perfect, actually,” Nate said. “Liz is
setting up some kind of dinner thing for everyone since you kids
will be home and we’ll be hitting the road soon. You know how Liz
gets.”

Cole smiled as he pictured Ally’s mom. “Yeah, I know.
She can’t ever resist the urge to get us all together. Is Stacy
going to be there?”

“Yes,” Nate answered slowly. “Is that all right?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Cole asked, lifting
a shoulder his dad couldn’t see. He glanced at the clock hanging
over the door, wondering vaguely where RJ, Ren, and Parker were. He
sighed. “Dad, I like her. A lot. Stop worrying about it.”

“I know, son,” Nate said tiredly. “I’ll let you go.
I’ll see you Friday night.”

Cole said his goodbyes and flipped the phone shut,
holding it in his fist. He sat back and wondered briefly what his
dad wanted to talk to him about. He remembered the last time Nate
said he wanted to talk to him.

“
Cole,” Nate said, sitting down on Cole’s
bed.

Cole looked up from his desk, surprised to see his
dad at his house during the week. He didn’t usually get to see his
dad until the weekends unless some special occasion dictated that
Cole was able to see his dad on a weekday.

“
Hey, Dad,” Cole grinned, setting his pencil down
next to his math book. “What’s up?”

“
I…um…just needed to talk to you,” Nate said,
studying the hands he’d clasped between his knees.

“
What’s the matter,” Cole asked nervously. His
legs started to tremble and he struggled to keep the fear off his
face. “Dad?”

Nate ran his hands through his hair and attempted a
weak smile. “Your mom was in a car accident today,” he said. “She’s
fine,” he added quickly when Cole jumped up from his seat. “But,
she was… not herself… when she was driving.”

Cole narrowed his eyes. “You mean she was drunk,
right?”

Nate nodded. “The police arrested her, son. She’s in
jail right now.”

Cole plopped down in his chair, not sure what to
feel. He was relieved that his mother wasn’t hurt – that she was
safe, but he was worried about her being in jail. He’d watched
plenty of cop shows on television and jail seemed like a really
scary place. “What’s going to happen to her?”

“
I’m not sure,” Nate said, reaching out to squeeze
his son’s shoulder. “I went to see her and she’s agreed to get
help. That’s good, Cole.”

“
Will it work?” he asked quietly, catching his
dad’s eyes.

“
I hope so.”

Cole dropped his gaze to the math problems he’d been
working on, angry at the tears filling his eyes. “What’s going to
happen now? Where am I supposed to go?”

Nate lifted Cole’s chin and wiped the tears from his
son’s eyes. “Your mother has agreed that you should come live with
me -for good. Unless, after she gets clean, you decide you want to
live with her again.”

Cole knew he shouldn’t be happy his mother was in an
accident and that she was currently in jail, but he couldn’t help
but be excited that he was finally going to get what he had always
wanted; to live with his dad. “I want to live with you, Dad. You
know that. But who will take care of her when she finally gets to
come home?”

“
Cole,” Nate said firmly. “You’re only ten. You’re
not supposed to be taking care of her. She’s supposed to be taking
care of you.” Cole bit his lip as Nate continued. “Listen, when she
gets out she’ll go stay with her mom for awhile. She’ll be okay.
You, on the other hand, will come live with me and be a kid for
once.”

Cole jumped up and dug the bag he always packed when
he went to his dad’s out of his closet. He looked up at Nate who
was smiling.

“
Just take what you want. If you need anything,
we’ll go get it.”

Cole nodded and grabbed a few things that he knew
he couldn’t leave behind. He glanced at the table by his bed and
grabbed the picture of him and his dad at a Cubs game. He put his
hand on the picture of him and his mother and looked
up at
Nate again
.

“
Son,” Nate said, kneeling beside him. “Just
because you’re living with me doesn’t mean I want you to pretend
you don’t have a mother anymore. You can have her picture and you
can talk to her whenever you want. When she gets better, I’ll take
you to see her whenever you want, also.”

Cole smiled, thinking about that picture. The only
person who knew he still had it besides his father was Ally. More
evidence that she was his best friend so therefore, he had to stop
these feelings and prevent her from being hurt.

***

“Ally, damn,” Alec cursed, looking at her overstuffed
bag. “We’re only going home for the weekend and you still have a
ton of clothes in your closet there!”

“Watch your mouth, little brother,” she said with a
smile, slipping her sunglasses off her head and over her eyes. They
stood in the parking lot by RJ’s and Jamie’s cars and waited for
everyone else to arrive.

Cole and RJ appeared, walking side by side, each with
a bag slung over their shoulders. Cole gave her a cool glance and
popped his trunk. “You two are riding with me,” he informed them in
a clipped tone. “My dad’s going to be at your house.”

Ally groaned and smacked RJ when he laughed at her.
She picked up her heaping bag and dropped it unceremoniously in
Cole’s trunk. “I’m picking the music,” she informed him before
walking to the passenger’s side and yanking on the door handle.