In the Arms of an Earl (30 page)

“We should love your company. Would we not, Jane?” He took her limp hand in his.

She nodded, her eyes blinded with tears. He continued speaking with Susanna, light-hearted, casual conversation she could not join. She stood abruptly, and Frederick followed her lead, his eyes questioning.

“I need to walk a bit.” A smile wavered on her lips. “Please, continue your conversation. I will return shortly.”

He kissed her forehead and sat again. Susanna brushed at a crumb on Frederick’s collar. They both laughed at something she said, and Jane turned away. She picked up her trailing skirt and walked as far and as fast as she could from the intimate scene, her vision blurred from unshed tears.

Despite the grand house, the elegant clothes, a veritable treasure chest of jewels—she would trade everything for a quiet life in the country if she knew Frederick’s heart was hers alone.

A governess and her charges walked by, and she stumbled to avoid bumping into the youngest child.

“I beg your pardon,” she murmured, hurrying toward a pond and away from their curious stares. The still water had a tranquilizing effect. She took slow, deep breaths to prevent any outward show of despair. All she needed now was for someone to report in the gossip sheets that a certain newlywed countess was spotted crying in the park.

The water rippled, and a pelican popped up. It watched her for a moment and swallowed the little fish dangling from its beak. “You’re far from home, too, I’d say.” She peered into the trees and foliage in the middle of the pond, trying to sight more pelicans. A small flock of them huddled together on the edge.

Grateful for a distraction from her current problems, she walked the pond’s perimeter, watching the pelicans dive into the water. Although she never wanted to paint or draw before, she wished she could take the time to sketch them. The idea of drawing summoned a reminder of Lucinda Parker, which naturally led to her thinking about Jeremy.

Strange coincidence he was at Lady Harrington’s party. Stranger still for Susanna to be present at the same time. Jane had simply assumed he knew of her and was not the intimate he apparently seemed to be. Whatever their relationship, Frederick was decidedly hostile toward Jeremy whenever Susanna was around.

Jane stopped in her tracks. The truth was an almost physical blow. Frederick and Jeremy had both vied for Susanna’s affections. Frederick, with his great wealth and family connections, was the victor, which explained Jeremy’s unrelenting animosity toward him.

A pelican dipped below the water and came up with a fish. Unable to help herself, Jane clapped.

“Good show,” a male voice behind her said.

She spun around. Her happiness vanished. “Good afternoon, Mr. Parker.” She peered over his shoulder. Frederick and Susanna were walking toward them but still so engrossed with each other they didn’t look up and see Jeremy. From Susanna’s animated hand gestures, she seemed to be arguing with Frederick.

Twisting her hands in her skirts, Jane stepped away. Why did Jeremy have to be in the park now? His presence would only make things worse.

Oblivious to her turmoil, he indicated the birds. “Funny creatures, pelicans. They never fail to amuse.”

She strained to listen for Frederick’s approach without turning and being obvious. Susanna’s raised voice was apparent, and Jane resumed walking, hoping to put distance between them.

“How do they happen to be in St. James’s Park?” she asked, for want of anything else to say.

“It’s an old tradition whereby visiting heads of state bring a pelican to the monarch.”

Jane gaped in surprise. “They bring birds?” She laughed at the preposterousness of a dignitary presenting a comical pelican at court.

He smiled. “It is all true. I admit I would enjoy watching the ceremony when this occurs. Pelicans at the palace.” He swung his walking stick at the short grass.

She turned to see how far she had walked from Frederick and Susanna. Frederick was indicating a distant spot, and Susanna laughed at whatever he’d said. A sigh escaped her, but she couldn’t help but feel some of her tension ease. Perhaps his good humor would last when he met up with them. Jeremy pointed at the pond as a large white pelican emerged, shaking water from its head. She laughed, but her heart wasn’t in it.

“How are you enjoying London, Lady Falconbury?”

She’d almost forgotten her new title. “I find it…most interesting.”

“Has Falconbury shown you Dornley Park yet? I’ve heard how lovely it is. You’d be happier there.”

She understood his meaning. Her face burned from the memory of the night before. What could his opinion be of her now, after having found her in such shameful circumstances at Lady Harrington’s—hiding from a would-be lover while her husband was out searching the town for her?

“When the session’s over, perhaps we’ll go,” she replied. She forced the tremor from her voice. How she wished she were back in the familiar gardens of home, away from the intrigues of town. She changed the subject. “How is your sister? I have not heard from Lucinda since my wedding.”

Jeremy seemed distracted but responded gallantly. “Lucy is quite well. She speaks of you often. I know she holds you in the utmost affection.”

“I will write her today. Perhaps she can come for a visit.” The idea of being Lucinda’s model again suddenly appealed to her. How she had taken those simple, peaceful days for granted.

He mumbled something in reply and stopped abruptly in his tracks. “I have been remiss in not apologizing to you sooner, Lady Falconbury. My behavior at the assembly ball was reprehensible.” His face flushed.

The apology she had long awaited now meant little. She managed a smile. “You are forgiven.”

“I knew Falconbury was in love with you. I didn’t have it from him directly, of course, but all the signs were there. I wanted to hurt him, because of what he’s done to me.” He stared out toward the pond, his face blank. “I am to be married.” He’d spoken the last so abruptly she nearly tripped.

She blew out a slow breath of air, carefully choosing her next words. “Congratulations, Mr. Parker. My best wishes for a happy future.”

He stooped to pick up a pebble and tossed it into the pond. A flock of ducks quacked in protest and flew to the opposite end. “Should I expect one? A happy future?”

His bitterness surprised her. What also surprised her was a spark of sympathy for him. Perhaps he was not the scoundrel Frederick had hinted he was.

“Are you not in love with your fiancée, Mr. Parker?”

His blue eyes were cloudy. “I have never met the lady. She is the wealthy daughter of my father’s friend. I failed my law examinations and must be pushed into the arms of a well-dowered bride, or else bring disgrace upon my family.”

His words echoed in her heart. She touched his sleeve. “I am truly sorry for your plight. One should not have to marry for anything but love.”

“Like you?”

Her throat dried up. “Yes, like me. Why do you hate Frederick so?” She hadn’t meant to blurt out the words, but there they were. He turned away.

“I don’t hate him. I envy him.” He fidgeted with the carved knob of his walking stick. “He holds much influence over Miss Olivier. I would marry her tomorrow, but for him.”

For a moment, Jane wondered if something invisible had pushed her, because she had to grasp the iron railing surrounding the pond. The cold metal burned through her gloves, but she hung on anyway. “I see,” she whispered.

He took her elbow. “I say, Countess—are you quite well? You’ve gone all white.”

She pulled away and dabbed at her forehead with the tips of her fingers. “I had a dizzy spell. Thank you.” He still looked concerned, so she forced a weak smile. “It is nothing, Mr. Parker.” After a few moments, she said, “You should tell Susanna you love her. Break off your engagement to the lady you’ve never met and marry Susanna.”

Jeremy threw his head back and laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Do you think I have not told her I loved her?”

Her heart fell. “You have?”

“Yes. At least a hundred times. She is the reason why I came to town, despite my father’s threats. But she will not have me. Falconbury—” His words cut off as he shook his head.

An almost painful chill seized her body, freezing the back of her neck and spreading throughout the rest of her. She thought she’d slipped over the railing and into the dark pond. Despite her internal earthquake, she’d somehow remained on her feet.

She was vaguely aware of familiar voices approaching behind her. She turned automatically when Jeremy did and faced Frederick and Susanna. Her hand rested lightly on Frederick’s arm.
Just like when we used to walk together.
A thousand years had passed since she’d felt as close to Frederick. Susanna waved when Jane caught her eye.

“I’m pleased you’ve found an old acquaintance, Jane.” She released Frederick’s arm and extended her hand to Jeremy. He bowed over it, all traces of his earlier agony gone.

“Good afternoon, Miss Olivier.” He nodded at Frederick. “Falconbury.”

“Mr. Parker! What an odd coincidence we should meet you twice in as many days. I didn’t know St. James’s had become all the fashion of late.” Frederick looked at Jane, and she was unable to read the quiet look in his eyes.

She pretended to share his surprise. “Yes, it is a coincidence.” She gazed serenely at Susanna. “I wish I’d known we should meet all of our acquaintance at the park today.”

Susanna laughed as if Jane had said something terribly amusing and turned to Jeremy. “Mr. Parker, I do wish to thank you, again, for taking me to my aunt’s last night.”

He tipped his hat. “The pleasure was mine, Miss Olivier.”

Frederick touched Jane’s arm. “If you are done with your walk, my dear, I should like to go home. It’s turned cloudy, and I fear a storm.”

“What about the opera this evening?” Susanna interjected. She smiled at Jeremy. “Mr. Parker, do you attend the opera tonight?”

“As fate would allow, I have a box. You are all welcome to join me.”

Jane spoke before Frederick could. “That sounds delightful. Susanna, is a box to your liking?”

A flash of pain crossed Frederick’s face, but Jane pretended not to notice, even though her own misery threatened to pour out of her at any moment. If she could keep up her pretense of not knowing the truth of her husband’s relationship to Susanna, she could live with it. Better than the alternative of leaving him.

Susanna’s cheek stained an attractive pink. “A box is the only way to enjoy the opera. Freddie, would you mind if Mr. Parker joins us?”

He bowed low. “My wishes are nothing next to yours and Jane’s. Susanna, may we accompany you home, or is Mr. Parker’s barouche conveniently located near this scenic pond?”

Susanna laughed and tapped him on the arm. “Clever, Freddie! Mr. Parker, are you leaving just at this moment, or do you have time to escort me around the gardens? I think the newlyweds should have some time alone.”

He offered his arm. “Escorting you would be the highlight of my otherwise dreadful week, Miss Olivier.” He bowed to Frederick and Jane. “We shall meet again at the opera. Miss Olivier, I know your aunt’s home is on my way to the Theatre Royal. I will fetch you in my carriage, if you prefer. It will save the Falconburys from going out of their way.”

“She shall come with us, but thank you for the offer,” Frederick said in a clipped voice. He gave Jane a pointed look, as if she should go along with his idea.

Despite wanting her husband all to herself, she relented. “Susanna must ride with us.” Jeremy looked miserable, so she added hastily, “But perhaps we all may ride together? Would that be agreeable, Frederick?”

His shoulders tensed. “We will stop by your rooms first, Jeremy, then on to Susanna’s aunt’s house. Jane, may we go home now?”

She slipped her arm through his and curtsied to the other couple, who said cheerful goodbyes as they walked toward the gardens. Susanna was careful to keep her arms at her sides, and Jane wondered if she would take Jeremy’s arm once they were out of sight.

Frederick watched as they walked away, and Jane tried to interpret the look on his face. Jealousy? Amazement that his mistress should choose another in so blatant a fashion?

They walked to their coach in silence. He turned to her now and then as if he would speak, but only shook his head, his lips tight. When they were inside the coach, she sat opposite him, as he had the night before. He rubbed his eyes, almost digging at them.

“Do you detest me, Jane?”

She looked up from the rug she’d arranged over her gown. “Goodness, Frederick!” Her heart lurched. She reached across for his hand and squeezed it. “How could you think such a thing? I love you more than anything.”

Her voice broke, and, horrified, she sobbed aloud. In an instant, he was beside her, holding her tightly in his arms. She buried her face against the rough wool of his coat.

“What has happened, Jane?” He held her at arm’s length to look at her face. “Why are you so far away from me?”

She shook her head, unable to put voice to her anguish. Perhaps he wanted her to accept Susanna’s presence and was upset she hadn’t. How did other wives handle such matters? There was no one she could ask since Alice and Lady Brewster had only made things worse.

“If you’d rather not attend the opera, we can stay home.”

Fumbling with her reticule, she removed a handkerchief and wiped her eyes. “I’m fine, Frederick. We can go tonight…if you desire it.” As much as she would have loved the idea of attending an opera a few months ago, she now dreaded it.