In the Fast Lane (Fast Series Book 1) (22 page)

Chapter 23

It hadn’t taken long for the first tear to fall. Once it had, the floodgates had opened, and Jessi had proceeded to sob herself into a coma-like sleep. She was startled awake by the sound of gentle knocking on her door.

Dalton wouldn’t be on the other side. Nothing about Dalton was gentle, his knock included. Trying not to be disappointed, she walked across the room.

Allie greeted her as she opened the door. “How are you doing?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“Jessi, you’re a terrible liar. Even if today wasn’t hell for you, and it was, your eyes are puffy and your skin is blotchy. You’ve been crying.”

“Don’t forget the drool hanging from my mouth. I fell asleep after the crying jag.” Jessi smirked, but it was only a half-hearted attempt.

“You don’t have to try and be funny for me, Jessi. I’m here to listen and help in any way that I can.”

“Thanks, but you’ve done enough already. Besides, I don’t know how much more you can do.”

“Please,” Allie scoffed. Reaching into her bag, she brought out two pints of peanut butter chocolate fudge ice cream.

Jessi’s eyes popped open. “How did you get that in here?”

“I raided the coaches’ freezer.”

Despite herself, Jessi smiled. “You really think that will help?”

“Depends. Do you love him?”

Jessi sighed. “Yeah.”

“Then yes. This ice cream will help.”

“What am I going to do?” Jessi sat on the bed in defeat.

Allie sat down next to her, handing her the ice cream and a spoon. She held up a finger. “First, you’re going to let me handle the PR stuff. Second,” she continued, holding up another finger, “you’re going to listen to Sawyer, and stay away from Dalton.” Allie paused to smile. “Third, and most importantly, you’re going eat that ice cream like he dumped you.”

“But he
did
dump me.” Jessi whined in a surprisingly pathetic voice. She looked down into the pint cup in her lap, disgusted with herself.

“Well, yes,” Allie conceded. “I suppose he did.” She took a bite of her ice cream. “Now we just have to figure out what you’re going to do about it.”

“What do you mean?”

Allie took another bite. “Well, you could try to get him back, but there’s no point in doing that until after the Olympics. Right now, I’d say your only real option is to swim like a shark is chasing you, win gold, shove it in his face, and tell him to figure his shit out.”

Jessi stared at Allie in shock. “Did you just swear?”

“Yes. Now eat.”

It wasn’t a cure-all, but the first bite of swirly, sweet, gooey goodness did help her get past the first few hours of heartache.

“Where the fuck is my peanut butter chocolate fudge ice cream?” Dalton yelled as he rifled through the coaches’ freezer.

“You’re grumpy today,” Sawyer said from behind him.

“Don’t fuck with me.”

“Don’t talk back to me,” Sawyer warned. “You’re on thin ice as it is.”

Dalton shut the door to the freezer and leaned on it. “Well, then, if I can’t talk back to you, what the fuck to you want me to do?”

“I want you to coach.”

“I
was
coaching. Everything was going fine until Lemaitre showed up.”

“No. You were coaching
and
sleeping with one of your swimmers. That was bound to blow up one way or another.”

“Well, you know what, Sawyer? We can’t all be as perfect as you.”

“Pfft. Clearly.” Sawyer shook his head. “God, you are a fucking asshole, aren’t you?”

“Yes!” Dalton threw his hands in the air. “You knew that. I told you I would fuck this up. You made me do this anyway.”

“So you’re blaming me? Dude, you do realize how fucked up that is, right?”

“Again, yes. Yes, I do! What are you not getting about this? I am, and always have been, completely aware of my deficiencies. Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably should have.”

“I fucking hate you.” Dalton opened the refrigerator to find himself a different snack. Who on earth would steal someone else’s ice cream? This place was full of assholes.

“Just to be clear, the feeling is mutual at the moment. I’m blaming you entirely for this thing.” Sawyer made himself comfortable in a chair.

“Ass,” Dalton muttered. There was nothing else in the fridge that appealed to him. He walked over to the cabinets and started searching through them. “So, what now?”

“Now you keep your head low and hope Allie is right.”

“What about Jessi?”

“I’ll take care of Jessi.”

Dalton wanted to throw something at the bastard. Here Sawyer was, once again stepping in to play hero, while he was left in the role of villain. “That’s not your job.”

“Well, it sure as hell isn’t yours.”

Dalton didn’t miss the irony in that statement. He had been hired to help Jessi. He’d ended up hurting her. Again. “Can I at least consult with you about her stroke?”

“Oh, I expect you to. You’re going to be working double shifts. I don’t have time for this shit. Until we leave for Canada, you’re working with the flyers as a group. You’ll watch footage of Jessi and tell me what she needs to do. I have to let you have her when we’re in Canada, but until then, you’re going to pay for this, asshole.” Sawyer got up from his seat, leaving Dalton alone in the kitchen, hungry, and pissed off.

Chapter 24

Canada. The time had finally arrived. Jessi had done her best not to think about Dalton since they’d boarded the plane. The last few days had been rough, but she knew her priorities. She was here to win. She was not here to worry over a man who didn’t love her. Allie’s intervention had brought much-needed clarity to the situation. Jessi was as focused as ever.

Her resolve would be tested today. Sawyer was officially on international duty. The assistant coaches would be handling most of the face-to-face contact with the swimmers. That meant she and Dalton would be spending a lot of time together for the first time since the meeting with Claudel.

Dalton hadn’t made any effort to talk to her beyond what was required of him as a coach. That made it easier to focus on swimming. Unfortunately, even though she had known it was coming, the change in coaches left her feeling less confident. Her times had been slower the last couple of days.

“Jessi, how are you feeling?” Dalton had snuck up on her. He was holding a clipboard and avoiding eye contact.

“Good.” Short and simple was the easiest option.

He looked down at the clipboard. “Your times are slower. Is your shoulder bothering you?”

“No. It feels good.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Seriously? He couldn’t be that clueless. “What do you think the problem is, Dalton?”

“Don’t do this, Jessi,” Dalton warned.

“Why? You worried about losing your chance at gold?” she spat.

“Do you really think that’s all I care about?”

“I don’t have any reason to think otherwise.”

“Jessi, we can’t do this right now.”

“No shit.” She started to walk away, only making it a few yards before he spoke again.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

Jessi stopped and turned to face him. “Yeah. Thanks. Now, you got any advice on how I should win this thing?”

“Swim fast.”

She huffed and shook her head. “Great advice. I’ll keep that in mind.” She turned to walk to the waiting room where she would stay until her heat was called. The more time she spent thinking about things, the angrier she became. She wasn’t the kind to beg for love. If Dalton didn’t want her, she needed to come to terms with that. She couldn’t do this anymore. She had a goddamn race to swim.

She pumped up the music on her iPhone and put her game face on. She wouldn’t hear them call her heat. She’d just notice people moving and move with them. She was lost to the outside world now. This was her own time and her own place. As the music pumped fast and loud, Jessi’s pulse began to pound in time. It was always like this. The music got her going. So much so that she often wished she could jump in the pool and just get it over with. She was going to beat the crap out of them anyway. Why not just do it now?

They were moving. Jessi could see the women in the slower lanes start the walk toward the blocks. She got up with them. Her swim cap was already on. She still had her warm-up jacket on as well. When she got to the blocks, someone was there to take her stuff. She removed her jacket and handed off her phone and earbuds. She fixed her goggles, started scissoring her arms, and stared down her lane.
Bring it.

“Nervous?”

Dalton turned to see Sawyer standing next to him. Until now, he’d kept his distance. “I’m not exactly calm.” Jessi hadn’t been swimming well, and it was his fault.

“Well, it will all be over soon.”

“Is it that easy for you?”

“No. But it’s the way things worked out. I can’t go back to make changes, so I might as well live with the decisions I made.” Sawyer raised an eyebrow at him.

“Thanks. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“Not now, Sawyer.”

“Okay. But soon. We have to talk about this situation eventually.”

“I’m not the one avoiding it. You’ve barely spoken to me.”

“I have a job to do, and like you said, now isn’t the time. But we will talk about it.” Sawyer took his seat. With no other options, Dalton sat down next to him, feeling like a fuck-up.

He watched Jessi make her way toward the blocks and contemplated their earlier conversation. She seemed to be bouncing back nicely, he realized bitterly. Other than being pissed at him—and swimming like shit—she didn’t appear to carry any emotional baggage from their abrupt breakup...or whatever it was. He gave up all pretense of not caring and turned his head to Sawyer. “Has she mentioned anything to you?”

“About what?”

“Don’t be a dick, dude.”

“Oh, I’ll be a dick for a while, so prepare yourself. But no. She hasn’t said a word. Have you two talked?”

“You told me to keep it strictly professional. That’s what I’ve done.”

“How has she reacted to that?”

“Fine, I guess. She avoids me whenever she can.”

She didn’t even look at him if she could help it. When she did, her eyes didn’t hold the same laughter that they used to. She stayed to herself most of the time. Wrapped up in her towel and sweats, lost in her earbuds, and lost to him. This was all supposed to be for the best, and yet, here she was, swimming as poorly as she had when they first started working together.

He watched as she prepared for her first race. Jessi was all business. No laughing, no smiles. Just single-minded focus. He could do that now—focus. But not like her. Not like the amazing woman who had swam into his life one stroke at a time. He knew that he wasn’t good for her or for anyone else. He’d had to let her go. Swimmers were better off on their own. And that’s what Jessi was right now—alone. No one could win this race for her. He’d done what he could, messed it up, and tried to fix it as best he knew how. Now it was up to Jessi.