In the Shadow of the Crown (57 page)

She was taken to Paul's Cross where she made a public confession. This she was more than willing to do, feeling—and rightly so—that she had escaped lightly. After confessing to the trick she had played on the unsuspecting public, she knelt and asked God's forgiveness, and mine, for her wickedness.

She was sent to prison for a while and afterward released.

But the disquiet continued all through the months that followed. There was even dissension among the Council. Some of them, Gardiner and my good Rochester among them, who wanted a return to the Catholic religion but not to go back to Rome, believed that the interests of the country were best served with the monarch as Head of the Church. Paget, on the other
hand, wanted a complete return to religion as it had been before my father had interfered with it. Then there was of course the Protestant element.

In addition to all this was the problem created by my sister. She was still in the Tower, and that worried me. Paget, among others, had often told me that while she lived I was unsafe and that the best gift I could have was her head severed from her shoulders.

Such talk did not please me. I could never forget that she was my sister. I remembered so well the bright little girl with the reddish curls and the shining eyes, so eager to miss nothing. How did she feel…a prisoner in the Tower? I doubted she was treated harshly. She would make friends of the jailers if necessary. She would always make friends of people who could be useful to her, and in view of her closeness to the throne, people would be wary of offending her.

I remembered her protestations of affection when we last met and her plea that I should always listen to her before judging her. I had not done that. I had refused to see her and had been prevailed upon to send her to the Tower.

I discussed her with Susan. I knew that to speak of her to Gardiner or Renard would only arouse their indignation against her, though I could tell them again and again that nothing had actually been proved against her. Wyatt himself had exonerated her, but they would never believe in her innocence.

But
I
believed in it, and as I felt toward her as a sister, I was sure she felt the same toward me.

I said to Susan, “I cannot be entirely at peace while she is in the Tower. She is a princess, my father's daughter, my own sister. How I wish that we could be friends!”

“Your Majesty should be wary of her,” said Susan.

“I know. I know. But she is my sister. It is for that reason I do not care to think of her as a prisoner in the Tower.”

“Perhaps she will marry.”

“Ah, if only she would marry abroad!”

It was an idea which persisted to haunt my mind.

I discussed it with the Council. Many of them thought she would be safer dead, but marriage did seem a way of disposing of her.

I said, “I will see my sister. Emmanuel Philibert, Duke of Savoy and Prince of Piedmont, would be pleased to marry her, I am sure. He would be a good match for her. She would then leave the country; people here would not see her and therefore not consider her as a rallying-point for rebellion.”

The more I thought of the idea, the more plausible it seemed. Emmanuel Philibert was one of those who had been chosen for me long ago,
and I had forgotten now the reason why the match was put aside. There had been so many such cases.

So Elizabeth left the Tower and came by barge to Richmond, where the Court was at that time.

I sent for her.

She looked a little pale; her sojourn in the Tower had had its effect on her. It was natural that it should. How could she have known from one day to the next when she might be taken out to share her mother's fate?

She looked at me without reproach, almost tenderly, and I warmed toward her.

I said, “I greatly regret it was necessary to send you to the Tower.”

“Your Majesty is so just that you cannot endure injustice. I am innocent of all my enemies are contriving to prove against me. Your Majesty will know that my sisterly affection would never allow me to do aught to harm you.”

I nodded and said, “It is your future of which I am thinking.”

“Your Majesty, I should like to retire to the country. The air of Ashridge has always been beneficial to my health.”

I waved a hand impatiently and said, “I have a proposition to set before you. You are no longer a child. It is time you married.”

She turned pale and recoiled in some dismay.

“Emmanuel Philibert, Duke of Savoy and Prince of Piedmont, would be a worthy match,” I went on.

I saw her lips tighten, and a look of determination came over her face.

“I have no desire to marry, Your Majesty.”

“Nonsense. It is the destiny of every woman.”

“If that is her wish, Your Majesty. For myself … I would prefer to remain a virgin.”

“You speak of matters of which you have no knowledge.”

“I have an instinct that the state is not for me. I will not marry.”

She was looking at me steadily, and I could see the defiance in her eyes. Was it because she did not like the idea of Emmanuel Philibert, or was it marriage itself which was so repulsive to her?

I remembered the scandal about her flirtation with Seymour. I had seen her eyes sparkle with pleasure at the admiration of men. Why this sudden, almost prudish attitude? One should not
force
people to marry. My thoughts went to poor Jane Grey who had been starved and beaten and forced to marry Guilford Dudley. But how could I compare Elizabeth with Jane Grey?

If Elizabeth refused to marry, I could not force her. I was disappointed. It was an unsatisfactory meeting, and I dismissed her.

Why would she not marry? Because to marry Emmanuel Philibert she
would have to leave the country and she did not want to do that. She wanted to be on the spot for any contingency.

But
I
was going to marry. I was going to enter a state of bliss, and I was sure that anyone who wanted children as much as I did must soon become a mother.

My happiness at the prospect made me lenient. Elizabeth should not be coerced, nor should she be forced; she should not return to the Tower. She was dangerous, of course, and I must take precautions. I knew what I would do. I would send for Sir Henry Bedingfield of Oxborough in Norfolk, who had been a loyal supporter of mine ever since I had been proclaimed Queen. He had been with my mother at Kimbolton during the last years of her life, and one of the first to rally to my side on the death of my brother. It is such things one remembers. When he came to me, the outcome was by no means certain, and I had been considerably heartened by the sight of him and his 140 armed men. He was severe and serious, but one of those men whom one would trust absolutely and whom a woman in my position wants to have about her. I had made him a Privy Councillor, and I knew I could safely put Elizabeth into his hands.

I explained to him that I wished my sister to be released from the Tower but that a strong guard must be kept on her, and he was the man I was going to trust with the task.

“Sir Henry,” I said, “I want you to serve not only me but the Princess Elizabeth. I fear there are some who, perhaps in their zealous care for me, might seek to do away with her. I want her to be guarded from such. It would cause me the utmost grief if aught happened to her and, although I were innocent of this, I should feel myself to be guilty.”

“Your Majesty shall have no fear,” he replied.

“I will guard the Princess with my life.”

“Thank you, Sir Henry. I put my trust in you.”

And I did.

Elizabeth complained bitterly, I know, of the stringent measures employed. She did not seem to realize that they were guarding her not only for my safety but for her own.

I was relieved when she had left for Woodstock under the guard of Sir Henry Bedingfield.

NOW THAT THE WYATT rebellion had been brought to a satisfactory end, Courtenay was removed from the Tower to Fotheringay. I intended that in time he should be released. He was little more than a boy—and a foolish, reckless one. I could not bear to think of that handsome head being severed.
Antoine de Noailles had once said he was the most handsome man in England—and he was right. I had seen it in writing when Renard had intercepted some of his letters to Henri Deux. I really wanted to shut him away until he became less significant, and then release him and perhaps send him abroad.

Elizabeth was safe in the care of Bedingfield, and soon Philip would be arriving for our marriage.

But nothing seemed to run smoothly. The dissensions in my Council were growing. Paget and Gardiner were deadly enemies, and Philip appeared to be expressing marked indifference, for he made no move either to write to me or to come to England.

De Noailles… that man again… had now been forced to accept the almost certainty of our marriage, and it did not please him at all. However, realizing that all his attempts to stop it had failed, he shrugged his shoulders and said Philip and I deserved each other, which was meant, I am sure, to be uncomplimentary.

His brother Gilles, who proved to be a handsome and charming young man, had come to England. I could have wished he was in his brother's place.

He came to see me on a matter quite apart from state affairs. He told me that his brother, Antoine, had a newly born son and he would be so honored if I would help in the choice of godparents. Antoine would have asked me himself but he was afraid I did not regard him very favorably at the moment.

I was always delighted to be involved with babies and, in spite of the strained relations between the French ambassador and myself, and forgetting his blatant spying during the Wyatt rebellion, I said I should happily have undertaken the part of godparent myself but for the fact that I should shortly be going to Winchester, for what purpose he would know.

Gilles de Noailles bowed politely and smiled, as though he were delighted to see me so happy. How different from his brother, who had done everything he could to stand in the way of my happiness!

I chose the Countess of Surrey to act as my proxy for the christening, and Gardiner and Arundel were godfathers. My Council was amazed that I could give so much time to this man's affairs when he had proved himself to be no friend to me.

But I was so happy to be involved with a christening, praying all the time that I should soon be more deeply concerned with one nearer to me.

Meanwhile there were more misgivings. I had heard nothing from Philip himself. I had thought that he would write to me, send some token. The uneasy thought came to me that he was having to be persuaded, and I began to fear he might refuse me.

I knew the Emperor wanted the marriage, and that should be good
enough. Philip could not disobey him. I did hope that my fears were groundless. I was now deeply in love, although I had never seen Philip. I assured myself that he was all that my romantic heart could desire.

There was whispering among the Council. Where is he? Why does he delay? What does it mean? Is this going to be another of those abortive betrothals? Will the Prince of Spain ever come to England and marry the Queen?

I would not listen to them. There must be some urgent matter which was delaying him. I knew the Emperor was always heavily committed, and naturally he would need the help of his son.

“All will be well,” I said to Susan.

But I could see that she was beginning to look a little worried.

Then, one June day, the Marquis de las Nevas arrived, bringing letters and gifts.

My happiness was complete. He was coming. He would soon be on his way. The weary waiting was over. Soon he would be with me. We should be married, and our happy life together would begin.

There were presents not only for me but for my ladies. There was a necklace of diamonds for me, and with it an enormous diamond with a pearl hanging on a long chain. It was the most exquisite piece of jewelry I had ever seen. I kissed it and told Susan I should love it always because it was a symbol of our love for each other. He also sent me a diamond mounted in gold which had been his mother's, given to her by the Emperor.

“Is it not beautiful?” I cried to Susan. “And doubly dear to me because it belonged to his mother.”

I had his picture. I thought he was wondrously handsome. They told me he was of short stature. Well, so was I, so we should match well together. I had not wanted a giant such as my father had been. Philip had a broad forehead, yellowish hair and beard, and blue eyes which might have been inherited from his Flemish grandfather; that he had the Hapsburg chin was evident.

How happy I was that night as I lay in my bed and thought of the future! There would be no delay now, and soon I should know that happiness for which I had so long yearned.

News followed. He would soon be on his way. Before he left, he spent a little time in Santiago with his son, Don Carlos. How I should have loved to be with them, to meet the boy. Philip would be a good father, I was sure.

It was touching that he had spent those days with his son, for when he was in England he would be separated from him. Perhaps some arrangement could be made. I could not leave the country. That was one of the penalties of queenship. Don Carlos might visit us. I would be a mother to him.

I could scarcely wait. Soon, I kept telling myself. And this time nothing will go wrong. I shall be a happy wife and mother.

At length Philip left his son and set out for Corunna, from whence he would sail for England.

There was trouble. It seemed there always must be. The English thought the Prince should sail in an English ship. This he refused to do and traveled in his own flagship, the
Espiritu Santo
. It must have looked splendid, upholstered in cloth of gold, displaying his banner. I was apprehensive and prayed that the weather might be calm. My prayers were unanswered, and for a day and night the ship battled against the elements, which must have been a sore trial to Philip, who was wont to be sick at sea. Fortunately in due course the gale abated, and by the time they came into sight of Southampton, the sea was as calm as anyone could wish it to be.

How glad he must have been to be on firm land—and, I hoped, to be brought nearer to me. It was a pity that our Admiral Lord William Howard should have offended him almost immediately. Howard, who prided himself on his bluff frankness, had made some jocular but slighting reference to the Spanish ships. I knew him well. He would have felt impelled to pierce Philip's dignity with what he would call good English humor. Philip would never understand that and would regard Howard's remarks as insulting. Then Sir Anthony Browne presented him with a white horse which I had sent as a gift. It was caparisoned in crimson velvet ornamented with gold. Philip said he would walk, at which Sir Anthony, who was a big man, lifted Philip, who was a small one, onto his horse; and although Sir Anthony kissed the stirrups as a gesture of deference, I cannot think Philip was pleased by the action.