Indebted: Part 2: The Virgin & The Bad-Boy Billionaire (A BWWM Billionaire Romance) (4 page)

Finally, Brianna steps in through the door that I’ve been watching with the unblinking eye of a surveillance camera. She takes a quick look around and stops cold when she spots me. Even from here, I can see the muscles in her neck twitch as I feebly wave. Unfortunately, all the gourmet coffee in the world won’t solve this problem.

For a girl that normally seems to float across the floor, she’s walking unusually stiff. Her tense shoulders and tight jaw tell me that she isn’t impressed. This might not go well. All I can do is hope that I didn’t fuck everything up beyond repair.

It takes an eternity, but she finally makes her way over to my table. It takes all of my restraint not to jump up from my chair and start begging for forgiveness. Brianna stops about five feet from the table and pulls her phone out her bag, checking her texts while I wait. I know she’s making me suffer on purpose now, I also know that I deserve it.

I’m debating whether I should get up and pull the phone from her hand when she joins me at the table. She avoids my eyes as I start rambling, “thank you for meeting up with me, I’m so sorry.”

She purses her lips into a long, thin line.
I knew it! She’s not going to forgive me.
I’m not sure that I would forgive me either. I’ve known Brianna for years, she’s the closest thing that I’ve ever had to a sister. Then as soon as I saw her with Matthew, I automatically assumed the worst. A small part of me knows that I jumped to conclusions so quickly because I’m jealous of her.

She takes a deep breath and I steel myself for her temper, but when she finally looks into my eyes my insides churn. It isn’t anger staring back at me, it’s pain. “Look, Kendra, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that I’m not upset, ok? I’ve gotta say; it hurt that you thought I’d try to steal your man. I’ve never done anything like that in my entire life. What made you think I’d start that shit with you? Do you think I’m
that
girl?”

“No! I don’t. It has nothing to do with you. It’s me. I’ve just been looking so hard for flaws, for something to be wrong, that as soon as I saw the smallest thing, my mind pounced on it. I’m sorry Brianna.” I reach for her hand, but she recoils like a firing pistol.

“You need to stop with that shit. Every masterpiece has cracks in it, Kendra. Are you gonna stare at the cracks? Or enjoy the damned painting?”

She’s right. I felt like I was enjoying the masterpiece once before in my life, back when my father was alive and my family was happy. I watched the cracks start to form when the car accident took him from us. Once Mama had her heart attack, I stopped looking for the beauty in everything.

“I know, I’m so sorry. I just saw you holding his hand, and something in my mind just snapped. I thought you two were talking about sneaking around together. I shouldn’t have been listening in at all. I... I don’t have a good excuse for how I acted. I was a damned fool.”

I stare into my black coffee for absolution.
Can I blame her if she doesn’t forgive me?
After everything she’s done for me over the years, no, I can’t blame her at all. The idea of losing my best friend stings my eyes with tears.

“I know you’re sorry. I’m not going to say that it’s ok, but I’ll get over it.” She pats my hand and relief soars through me, easing the tightness in my chest. “So, you and Matthew worked it out then?” she knits her eyebrows together as her golden brown eyes soften.

“I guess you could say that,” I answer slyly. She still doesn’t even know about my first time with Matthew, let alone the hot sex we had all over my apartment.

“Good, so what did he tell you?”

My heart sinks,
why is she confirming his story?
Knowing how I already almost ruined everything with my skepticism, I bite the inside of my cheek and swallow my suspicion. “He told me that he loves me,” I say matter-of-factly.

“Oh, Kendra! I’m so happy for you!” Brianna squeals loud enough that other patrons turn and give us stern looks.

“Shhh,” I laugh, “I’m happy too. It’s just so sudden though. It’s all kinda confusing to be honest.”

“What’s so confusing?”

“It’s just moving so fast. I’m not used to any of this drama, I guess.”

“That’s what happens when you live like Mother Teresa for twenty-six years,” she teases. “Did he tell you anything else? Like about his past?”

“Oh, yeah, he told me all about Marjorie. I guess her being kinda psycho runs deeper than I thought, huh?”

“Marjorie?”

Matthew told me that he was talking about Marjorie when I walked in on the two of them in deep conversation the other day. The confusion in her eyes is telling me a different story than the one he told me.

“Uh, yeah. His ex-fiance?”

“Oh ok. Yeah right. Her.” She fidgets.

“Brianna, what were you guys talking about the other day?”

She squirms in her seat, picking at her nails. “I can’t get into it. Kendra, his past is complicated. That’s all I can say.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I feel my blood rush to my ears and a tinny taste coat the back of my tongue.
Did he lie to me yesterday?

“Hey, calm down. I’ll tell you what it doesn’t mean,” the edge in her tone is razor sharp, “it doesn’t mean that you have anything to worry about. He’s in love with you. And
only
you.” She gives me a hard stare that lands like a slap in the face. I deserve her pointed comments after accusing her of sleeping with him.

“I’m sorry, I just... I just don’t like being in the dark.”

“Whoa wait a second, hold up, you’re trying to tell me that you have some control issues? I’m just not sure that I can wrap my brain around that,” she smiles as she pokes at me. “And here I thought you were such a free-spirit with your micromanaged schedule and your ten year plan.”

“Alright, I get it,” I laugh. “So I’m not good at handing over the reigns, I guess.”

“Trust me, I know. You just need to trust that I wouldn’t keep anything from you if it would hurt you. Matthew is a good guy, Kendra. A good guy who loves you. You just need to give him some time to open up. I know he will. In the meantime, start enjoying the fact that Matthew fucking Blackwell is in goddamned love with you.” She’s starting to get a few pointed stares from other coffee drinkers in here again. You’d think this was a library, not a Starbucks.

“Shhh, I do. I am.”

“How much are you enjoying it?” She prods. I know exactly what she’s getting at. Brianna has never approved of my decision to wait before losing my virginity, I can see that she’s hoping I finally gave it up.

“He makes sure I’m enjoying him in
every
way.” I lower my voice just above a whisper.

“I knew it! You guys totally fucked didn’t you?”
Ok, everyone heard that!
I try to disappear under the table as the people surrounding us suddenly look a lot more interested in our conversation.

“Brianna! Good God, put out an ad will ya?” I try to avoid the eyes of nosy strangers. “Yes, we made love,” she snorts at my choice of words, “and it’s been incredible. I know it sounds lame, but I feel different too.”

“How do you mean?” Brianna finishes her tea in one gulp and waits for me to figure out what I’m trying to say.

“I don’t mean in that star-eyed way, like how you were when you slept with big, dumb Joe.”

“Hey now! I was only seventeen, cut me some slack. Remember when I told you he was my destiny? Oh my god, I was so innocent then,” she laughs.

“Exactly, I don’t mean like that. I guess I feel different in the way that I know I’m just growing up. I feel like this is one more step into adulthood. I mean, I’m graduating soon, I’m dating, I have an amazing job interview tomorrow… it just seems like things are really coming together, you know?”

“Job interview? Where?”

“At a place called Bravark, in their marketing department. Can you imagine? It would be so perfect. I keep telling myself not to get too excited. I just need to look at this as a great opportunity, but if it doesn’t work out it will still be excellent interview practice.”

“Kendra, listen to yourself! Get excited! Be happy! You’re not going to jinx anything if you actually let yourself enjoy life for a bit. It sounds like you’re just looking at everything like they’re boxes to tick off. Diploma?
Check!
Man?
Check!
Job?
Check!
I mean, come on!”

“There’s nothing wrong with having goals, is there?” I hold my tongue before I get into my usual counter argument about how living by Brianna’s mantra of ‘being young and having fun’ can only last for so long.

“No, there’s nothing wrong with goals and all that. But, Kendra, listen,” she grabs my hand tight and looks me straight in the eyes for the first time since she’s sat at the table, “you need to remember to live too.”

“Live? What are you even talking about, of course I’m living,” my dry laugh hangs awkwardly in the air while as she chews on her lip. I know that face, she always does that when she isn’t sure how to say something to me.

“What is it?” I give her hand a squeeze, beginning to worry about her silence.

“It’s just… I’m your best friend, so I say this with nothing but love, ok?” I nod;
this isn’t off to a great start.
“I know you feel a burden on your shoulders to do well because you don’t want to let down your Mama up there,” she points to the ceiling.

My eyes sting as the edges blur with tears, “for both of them,” I mutter to my empty coffee cup.

“Yeah, for your Dad too. I get it, ok? And you’re doing amazing! But you’re so focused on that finish line that your life is blazing past you and you aren’t even living it. These moments, like Matthew and graduating and the job interview, they aren’t just stepping stones on the way to your perfect life up here somewhere,” she waves her hand over her head. “They are your perfect life and you’re missing it because it’s not exactly how you thought it would look on paper.”

Her words grab me by the shoulders and give me the shake I’m sure she wants to. I close my eyes, is that what I’ve been doing? Matthew’s face floats behind my eyelids, reminding me of how empty my life felt before he strolled into it. Brianna’s right, I’ve lived more since I’ve met him than I have in the last twenty-six years put together.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks, smiling back at Brianna. “It’s not easy for me.”

“I know it isn’t, but I don’t want to watch you wake up with twenty years of regrets because you let the best years slip by. Just try to cut yourself some slack, that’s all I’m saying. Just have a little fun.”

“I will.”

Chapter 5

“Did you have any hang-ups with the paperwork?” Ms. Fairbanks, or Vivienne, as she’s insisted I call her, asks me as I hand her the stack of sheets.

“No, none at all,” I smile. It was arduous to fill out the questionnaires and police records check, but at the same time, it’s exciting to know the company is taking a genuine interest in me.

She glances at my resume, reading over some sections that have been highlighted in fluorescent pink. Her office is warm and inviting, not the ultramodern space I envisioned. However, so far Bravark has broken all of my preconceived notions. From the bright, funky reception area complete with a full espresso bar to the on-site daycare, it’s clear that this is an unconventional company.

Vivienne’s office feels more like a living room than a workspace. The ceiling high book shelves and the lounge chairs surrounding the oval coffee table that serves as her desk don’t give the clinical vibe I was prepared for. I have to admit that the casual atmosphere here has thrown me off my game.