Indigo (14 page)

“Hey guys, we’re going to run over to the hardware store quick,” Kennedy calls out, putting his hand on Shawn’s shoulder.

They both halt mid-sentence, and Sabrina catches my eye. “Indigo?”

All three of them look at me and I try to look relaxed like going to the store with a guy is something I do all the time. Yeah. No big deal. “There’s a few things I want to get.”

“Okay,” she says, catching my eye again to make sure it’s what I want. “Text me when you get back.”

We say our goodbyes, and suddenly, I’m walking away alone with him.

“I was going to text you today anyway,” he says to me as we step out into the parking lot. “It was just pure luck that I ran into you first.”

He nudges my shoulder playfully with his elbow when I just smile in response.

KENNEDY

I can tell she’s a little uneasy to be alone with me, and I’m not sure if it’s because she probably hasn’t been one-on-one with a guy much, or because of what happened to her. Either way, I’m damn glad she’s here, and I decide then and there to do everything and anything I can to put her at ease.

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I lead her the short distance away to the parking lot.

“Your car is awesome,” she tells me. She looks so small standing next to the massive Jeep, and I swell with pride watching her admire it. “How long did you have to save to buy this?”

I walk around the car, opening the door for her. She smiles her thanks, and literally has to hold on the sides and jump to get in. I tamp down the desire to just grab her hips and put her in myself. 

“Actually, I got it as a graduation gift from my mom.” Not wanting her to ask any more questions about my mother, lest she find out who she is, I make sure she’s in the seat and then I quickly shut the door. I’m not ready to tell her yet, not when we’re embarking out for the first time on our own.

Walking around to my side, I open the door and try to change the subject. “So, what do you need to get at the hardware store?”

The engine purrs to life and I back carefully out of the spot. I can see her fidgeting a bit in her seat as if she doesn’t want to answer my question. The silence hangs for a bit longer than I expected, but I give her time to gather her thoughts. Maybe I should say something to fill the gap, but I’m too curious to drop it.

“Do you promise not to laugh?”

“Of course not,” I reply, now really curious. “Why would I laugh at you?” Taking my eyes off the road, I flick them towards her, but she’s staring straight ahead.

“Well, it might seem kind of silly.”

“I won’t laugh,” I reassure her. When she’s still quiet, I try and think of a way to loosen her mood. I smile to myself when a story comes to mind. “When I was ten, and just learning how to build things, the very first project I started working on was an outhouse.”

“An outhouse?” She exclaims, and I can feel her looking at me. “Why would you want to build an outhouse?!”

“I’m not sure how it came to mind exactly. I think it’s because I wanted to spend all my time outside. My backyard is a few acres and I’d spend the entire day exploring, tinkering with this and that. I think I thought it’d be convenient.”

Just like I hoped, she laughs. “So what happened, did you build one?”

“Something that resembled one.” I flash her a grin. “I was real proud of it. Never got a chance to use it though. My mom saw it and threw a fit, made me take the whole thing apart.”

Inwardly flinching, I realize I brought up my mom again and can only hope she won’t ask any questions. Smooth Keats. What a guy. Normally when girls found out who my mother is, it’s was a mark in my favor. For Indigo, I know that wouldn’t be the case.

“That’s kind of sad,” she says with a chuckle. “But probably better off for your lawn in the long run.”

I throw my head back to laugh, and we catch eyes for a moment before I turn my gaze back to the road. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, and I know she’s getting ready to tell me the reasoning behind her trip. I steel myself to not show any emotion, just in case.

“I want to put something against my window from the inside. I don’t really know what. But maybe shutters, or wooden boards. I’d feel….safer….if I knew that the window was blocked.”

My hands grip the steering wheel as a wave of sadness and anxiety rush over me. I can’t imagine what it must be like to feel so vulnerable all the time. All I know is, I definitely want to help her feel safe, and I know that I want to be the one who protects her. “Okay. We can definitely find something.”

“I know it probably sounds a little crazy,” she says slowly, trying to gage my reaction. I can even see her wringing her hands from the corner of my eye.

“Not at all,” I cut in and make my voice a little stern. I never want her feeling embarrassed in front of me. “Seriously. If it makes you feel better, then it’s not crazy.”

“Thank you. For understanding. I realize it makes me look a little paranoid.”

“Hey. None of that.” I tell her gently. “You have your own reasons and I would never judge you.” And because I can’t help but try and get closer to her, I say, “If you ever need anything, you just let me know okay?”

She nods, biting her soft pink lip, and I can’t help but hope she’ll take me up on my offer. That it will be me this girl comes to.

We drive into town, and I point out a few stores that we pass that she might be interested in checking out at one point or another. The chit chat is light, but I’m so sidetracked by her and her every movement, it’s hard to really see anything else. I find myself noticing such small details, like how her nails are trimmed neatly with no color on them, and how she has two small freckles just below her hairline. She’s so delicate, not just physically, but emotionally, and it’s pushing all of my buttons.

Her admission about wanting to cover her window has stuck with me the entire car ride and I wish she’d let me pull her into my arms and protect her from anything she’s afraid of.

The hardware stores looms up ahead and the parking lot looks packed. We inch our way in, and I look around a little despondently, knowing that getting a spot won’t be easy. It’s going to have to be one of those wait until someone leaves type of things.

“There’s one!” Indigo points to the left and I follow her finger to see a large truck just pulling out of a big space. Perfect. There’s another car that has just pulled up in front of me and I know it’s going to be a race to see who can get there first.

Without warning, Indigo quickly unbuckles her seatbelt and has the door open before I even know what’s going on.

“Hey!” I call out, but she’s already slammed the door and is jogging around the front of my car. I watch in shock as she runs over and stands in the now empty spot, her hands on her hips, waving me in. 

“Oh my god,” I laugh, realizing she’s saving it for me. I pull forward, shaking my head and slide in. I hear the other driver accelerate loudly behind me and drive off.  I can’t suppress my smile as I get out of the car and shut the door.

“I didn’t know you had it in you.” I say, walking up to her. Her face is bright, and I’m struck at the stark difference between the vulnerable girl that was just sitting in my car, to the girl I’m seeing now. It’s not the first time she’s done something to surprise me like this. Where I felt I got a peek behind her reserved exterior. “That was kind of hot.”

She blushes, shy again, and we begin walking across the parking lot. “I guess I can be a little impatient too sometimes.”

Feeling way too happy, I open the door for her and we walk inside Home Depot. I take a deep breath, inhaling the familiar smell of wood and tools. I close my eyes, breathing it in, but when I open them, Indigo is staring at me like I’m a lunatic. A few seconds later she bursts into laughter.

“You should see your face right now,” she says between giggles. “You must really love Home Depot.”

“I do,” I admit, slightly embarrassed but glad she’s laughing, even if it’s at me. “It’s like my second home.”

Her laughter trails off and we fall into step beside each other. “I feel that way when I walk into Barnes and Noble sometimes. I never worship the way you just did though!”

She laughs again and I want to grab her hand and kiss it at how cute she is, but I don’t.

“Let’s start this way,” I say, leading her down the aisle I know to have shutters. I’m not really sure if that’s the best thing, but figure we should take a look anyway for her sake. Once the shutters come into view, I know that realistically, it’s not going to work.

“These are nice,” she says, her fingers tracing a pair of white ones that look as if they belong on a large Victorian. She peers around to the back and her eyebrows pull together. “How do you think I would go about installing them?”

I look at them with her without speaking before taking a deep breath. She’s not doing this on her own, no way. Better ease into the conversation slowly. “Indigo, I don’t think these are going to be what you need.”

Her face falls. “Are they not the right size, do you think?”

“I don’t think it’s practical. You wouldn’t be able to install these on the outside either because of the brick.”

She looks back at the shutters before asking, “Which ones would you suggest?”

My pulse picks up, and I hope she can’t tell how eager I am to help her. “I have another idea. Can I help you with this project? Would you mind?”

She bites her lip again, and looks up at me, and I can’t help moving in just a little bit closer to her, my eyes on her mouth. “Would
you
mind? I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

I take a chance and put my arm around her shoulder and begin to steer her out of the aisle, trying not to jump up and down in my excitement. “Are you kidding? I love building stuff, and besides I’m good at it.”

“I’d really appreciate it.” She doesn’t move my arm off her shoulder, so I keep it there and concentrate on not pulling her any farther into my embrace.

I lead her towards the industrial section, and stop when we hit the plywood. “I’m thinking we put two pieces of plywood up, I can measure your window and saw them down to the right size. Then I’ll bolt them into the wall, but I want you to still be able to get some air through when you want it, so I’m going to make it so you can open, close, and lock it. It’s actually kind of like shutters, but not as heavy. And not as permanent.”

Her eyes are discerning as she looks up at me. “That sounds great. You really wouldn’t mind?”

My gaze roams her face, trying to take it all in at once. Is she kidding? “No, I really wouldn’t mind.”

She smiles at me, and all I can do is just stare. I realize that I’m becoming obsessed with the thought of making her smile, and making the happy girl I saw in the parking lot come out a little more often. She may not want me, or need me, for that, but I’m also realizing it’s becoming a little bit out of my control. Because I’m starting to realize, this girl needs me. She may not know it yet, but she does. And that knowledge drives me absolutely fucking wild.

I grab an abandoned cart that was left a little bit farther down the aisle, and lead her around the store, gathering up all the things we’ll need. I’m already excited about the slightly challenging project, and can’t wait to get started. After I pick up the few materials I need, we head towards the front of the store.

We pull up to the checkout line to start unloading our things, waving her off when she tries to help. “I got it. This stuff is heavy.”

She ignores me and pulls out the small packet of bolts, placing them on the conveyer belt before turning to me with a sardonic look. “I want to help. I think I can handle the small stuff.”

I chuckle, and wait for the cashier to ring us up. Without thinking, I pull out one of my gift cards and hand it over.

“Kennedy, wait, no, what are you doing?”

She tries to push in front of me, her credit card in hand, but I block her way. “I have like, a hundred gift certificates here, it’s all people ever get me. It’s not a big deal.”

“But I don’t want you to pay for it,” she says from behind me. The cashier, eager to keep the line moving, ignores her and swipes my card.

“It’s already done,” I tell her. “I want to. Don’t worry about it.”

She stops trying to get around me, and just like that I can feel the tension emanating from her. I ignore it as I pack up our purchases and load them back in the cart. She hasn’t said a word, and I know she must be upset.

After the car is loaded up, I open the door for her and wait as she jumps up inside. When I close the door, she’s staring straight ahead with a blank look on her face.

I quickly load the car in silence, impatient to ease the tension between us. “Are you mad?” I hop inside, and turn on the engine.

“Well, I’m going to pay you back. That was way too much money. I don’t know why you keep buying me things.” I can hear the note of confusion in her voice, and try to explain myself.

“I see how it can be kind of weird, now looking back. But I honestly didn’t even think twice about it.”

“What do you mean, you didn’t think twice about it?”

I squirm, a little uncomfortable. Buying things for people I care about has always just been a part of my personality. “I’m always like that I guess. Next time I’ll ask, I promise.”