Infinite (Strange and Beautiful, Book 1) (28 page)

I
reluctantly made my way downstairs. I passed by the living room and saw that
Luke had returned to watching
Degrassi
. It made me smile a little, but
as soon as I entered the kitchen and saw Mom, my stomach started to churn. She
was leaned over the counter reading some papers. She didn’t even look up when I
coughed to make my presence known.

“Mom?”

She
didn’t look up as she said, “Yeah, sweetie?”

“I
need to talk to you about something,” I said, tentatively.

“Can
it wait? I’m trying to work.”

I
bit my lip. I would have loved to tell her it could wait and simply walk away,
but I made a promise to Tegan. Part of me said I could just tell Tegan Mom was
busy and I’d tell her later, but the other part of me knew I would be letting
Tegan down. I knew she was just as scared of Mark Moses as I was.

I
also knew that if I didn’t tell Mom right then, then I would probably lose my
nerve and never do it. It was definitely a now or never kind of moment, so I
took a deep breath and said, “Mom, it’s important.”

She
sighed, “What is it, Silly?”

She
still didn’t look up, and I could see her eyes were still scanning over the
paper on the counter, so I wasn’t even sure if she was really listening. It
wasn’t encouraging, but I thought it was probably as good as I was going to
get.

“There’s
this guy at school,” I began. I hadn’t practiced any of this, so I didn’t
really know what to say. I knew I should probably tell her everything that
happened just so she would know how serious the situation was, but when I
opened my mouth, finding those words seemed so hard.

“Someone
you like?” she inquired, sounding bemused.

“No,”
I replied. Why would I consider talking to Mom, about a guy I liked, to be
something important? I frowned and sighed as I continued on. “This guy’s name
is Mark Moses. He’s . . .” I searched for words to describe Mark Moses. “He’s
not very nice. Sometimes he takes—” the phone rang, and Mom reached for it as I
finished my sentence with, “my lunch money.”

She
looked at the caller ID before saying to me, “I have to take this.”

“Oh,
okay.” My voice was soft and weak, and I wasn’t sure she even heard me. Not
that she’d really been listening anyway.

She
answered the phone on her way into the other room, and her voice was high and
cheerful as she spoke rapidly to whoever was on the other end.

I
stared at the floor for a moment, unsure of how I felt. Mom had never dismissed
me like that before. Even when she was busy, she was usually the one who answered
my infinite number of questions. She was the only one in my family who actually
listened to me. Or so I thought. Today, she didn’t bother look at me. She
couldn’t be bothered to listen. She didn’t even care.

 I
swallowed hard and fought back tears as I turned around to leave the kitchen. I
was no longer hungry, and all I wanted to do was go up to my room, crawl into
bed, curl into a ball and die. Or, to be less dramatic, cry.

When
I turned I was surprised to see Luke standing there. He was staring at me with
wide eyes. Luke started to open his mouth to speak, but he quickly shut it. He
walked the rest of the way into the kitchen and over to the refrigerator. He
opened the door and looked inside. I stared at the back of his head for a
minute or so as he perused the refrigerator’s contents.

How
long had he been standing there? Had he heard me talking to Mom? Did he know?
And if so, what did he think? He was probably embarrassed to call me his
sister. After all, I let some stupid, empty-headed imbecile steal my lunch
money and intimidate and shove me into a locker. I was so pathetic. No wonder
Luke and Skylar didn’t want anyone to know they were related to me. I was a
complete loser. I decided I wouldn’t admit to knowing me either. 

I’d
never really considered myself a huge fan of Tom Cruise. I liked some of his
movies, like
A Few Good Men
,
Cocktail
, and
Rain Man
.
War
of the Worlds
was kind of a let down, and I had absolutely no idea what he
was thinking when he signed on to do
Eyes Wide Shut
. I started to watch
it on HBO once, but after the first naked person showed up on screen, my eyes
were definitely shut. “Jumping the couch” on Oprah didn’t help Cruise’s case
either.

Regardless
of my feelings about his crazy, and despite the fact I’d never actually watched
any of the
Mission: Impossible
movies, when Monday rolled around, I
found myself acting like I was Tom Cruise’s character—whatever his name was—as
soon as I arrived at school.

Skylar
and I didn’t speak during the ride to school. In fact, I hadn’t talked to her
since Saturday night in the restroom at the bowling alley. I spent most of my
Sunday locked away in my room, feeling like a huge loser and angry with Mom and
scared to ask Luke if he’d overheard me.

The
ride with Skylar, though silent, was far from comfortable. I seethed at her
audacity and disregard for my feelings. If she could feel my anger, she didn’t
let it show.

It
was a relief to be away from her once we arrived at school, but fear trumped
the reprieve. I cautiously made my way into the building and kept my eyes
peeled for any sign of Mark Moses. The theme song to
Mission: Impossible
was playing in my head as I slid around the corners with extreme care.

When I
made it to my hall, I proceeded to my locker only after taking a good look
around. Most of the upperclassmen didn’t pass through that particular hallway
often, but I thought it better to be safe than sorry. I put away my bag and
gathered the books I’d need for my first class. As far as I knew, Mark Moses
had no idea where my locker was, and I hoped to keep things that way.

After
I had my things, I, somewhat reluctantly, went to find Tegan. I knew she was
going to ask if I’d talked to my parents, and she would probably be
disappointed things didn’t go so well. I didn’t think she could be half as
disappointed as I was.

As
much as I hadn’t wanted to talk to my parents, I’d still been counting on them
to help me out. Then Mom completely disregarded everything I had to say to take
a stupid phone call. I was still mad at her when I left for school that
morning. I didn’t bother speaking to her either, but she probably didn’t
notice. Or, if she did, maybe she was happy. After all, it always felt like
everyone in my family couldn’t wait for me to shut up.

As
it turned out, I was right about Tegan. As soon as I found her walking to her
locker, she asked, “How’d things do with your parents?”

Even
though I’d expected it, it still pained me to explain what happened. I didn’t
bother to try to hide how much it upset me. That would have required more
energy than I possessed.

Tegan’s
mouth formed into a little “o” of surprise before she pursed her lips, brows
furrowed, and said, “I can’t believe your mom would just ignore you like that.”

“Well,
she did,” I sighed, leaning against the locker next to Tegan’s as she twisted
and turned the combination for her locker. “I don’t think she was really
listening at all. I mean, she thought it was about some boy I had a crush on of
all things,” I paused, fuming quietly as I replayed the conversation in my head
for what felt like the millionth time. I shook my head to clear it away after a
moment and muttered, “As if I’d ever tell her something like that now.”

“Maybe
she just had a lot on her mind,” Tegan said as she pulled her locker open. “I’m
sure she didn’t mean to brush you off.”

“But
I told her it was important,” I insisted as Tegan tugged off her coat and
stuffed it into her locker, “and she still wasn’t paying attention.”

“Maybe
you should try talking to her again,” Tegan suggested as she dug around inside
her bag for a moment before pulling out a couple of books and stuffing them
into her locker.

“No,
thanks,” I glowered as Tegan went back to pulling items out of her bag. “I
think I’ll just let Mark Moses stuff me in a locker and let me die there. Then
I won’t be an extra burden to my oh-so-busy mom, and Jackson will just have to
find another way to get close to Skylar.”

Tegan
stopped sorting through her bag and rolled her eyes at me. “Don’t be stupid,”
she said, narrowing her eyes. “Mark Moses is
not
going to stuff in you a
locker again. I don’t care if I have to go to the principal myself, but I
assure you that was the first and last time that ever happens. Besides, if you
died, you’d be leaving me behind and how am I supposed to function without my
best friend?”

I
smiled a little at her intensity because she was such a kind person it was a
little hard to take her seriously but she continued speaking with a hint of
annoyance now present. “And I thought we already decided Skylar had no idea
what she was talking about.”

I
grimaced. The last thing I wanted was to rehash that conversation. I sighed, “I
know, I know. I’m just frustrated.”

“That’s
understandable, but don’t let it get you down,” Tegan said. “I don’t like this
melancholy, woe is me version of you. It just isn’t right.”

“Being
ignored by my mother isn’t right either,” I pointed out.

Tegan
looked at me pointedly. I had a feeling it was her way of telling me to quit
complaining. I knew she was right. Griping to her about it wasn’t going to
solve a thing. Besides, it wasn’t as if being ignored was something new around
my household. I just wasn’t used to it from Mom.

I
hoped Tegan was right about Mom just being distracted. It’d make sense that she
had a lot on her mind between home and working a new, full-time job. It was a
pretty huge shift from what she was used to. I’d understood that before, but,
in the midst of my drama, I’d lost sight of what was going on with Mom.

“Okay,
okay,” I said, holding up my hands before Tegan could speak. “I’ll stop being a
selfish, whiny brat.”

“You’re
not selfish,” Tegan said with a smile. “A little whiny, yes, but since you
normally never whine, I’ll excuse it.”

“Thanks,”
I laughed.

“Besides,
look on the bright side. We only have three days of school this week. Then
we’re out for a four-day weekend. We’ll be off stuffing our faces for
Thanksgiving,” Tegan pointed out.

I
realized Tegan had a point. I’d almost forgotten Thanksgiving was so soon. We
were leaving early on Thursday morning to drive to my Grandma and Grandpa
Sawyer’s house. We were going to visit with Mom’s family because we’d gone the
previous year to see Dad’s for Thanksgiving. I always liked seeing Mom’s family
just a little bit more because they were more laid back. Dad’s side of the family
was nice enough and I loved them, regardless, but they were kind of uptight,
which was probably why Dad seemed like such a stick in the mud sometimes.

Despite
the rocky start, the first half of my day turned out to be sort of okay. I was
dreading lunch, though. I was sure Mark Moses would show up and turn me into an
emotional mess all over again.

I
was scared to death of seeing him. I’d also been afraid he’d told people what
he did, and everyone would know I was the girl that was stuffed in a locker. The
idea of everyone knowing I’d been stuffed in a locker was almost as bad as one
of those dreams where you go to school and realize you’re only wearing your
underwear.

Of
course, it was an irrational fear. Mark Moses wouldn’t tell anyone what he’d
done because that could only lead to trouble for him if a staff member
overheard.

When
the bell rang, signaling the start of lunch, Tegan and I started for our
lockers, but Mrs. Willis asked Tegan to stay a minute.

Tegan
turned to me and said with wide eyes, “Go ahead. Hurry.”

She
was probably thinking along the same lines as me—if I stayed with the lunch
crowd, I’d be able to evade Mark Moses. I nodded, clutching my books to my
chest and said, “I’ll see you in the cafeteria.”

After
putting my books away in record time, I followed the crowd of people headed
toward the cafeteria. I thought I’d escaped the wrath of Mark Moses, but as I
was walking, I spotted him walking against the crowd.

Immediately,
my heart started to pound. For once I prayed my shorter height would be in my
favor and he wouldn’t see me. He pushed his way through the crowd, and even
though he didn’t appear to be looking for anyone in particular, I was scared he
was going to notice me as I passed by, so I did the only thing I could. I
ducked into one of the doorways and hid.

The
throng of people continued to pass by, and I glanced at the sign on the doorway
where I hid and realized I was standing at the entrance to the school library.
I’d never been in it before, and I realized how odd that was considering I was
such an avid lover of books. I peaked around the corner and saw Mark Moses was
still lingering in the hallway, so I turned back and pulled open the heavy door
to the library and slipped inside.

The
library was much bigger than I would have guessed. From the outside, it looked
like it would just be a small square room, but it was actually more a rectangle
filled with shelves upon shelves of books.

Once
I got over the initial shock of the supply of books, I glanced around. It was a
somewhat dark, enclosed space with a high ceiling and wooden paneling along the
walls; the only natural light came from the windows at the backside of the room
that ran along the exterior wall.

I
noted there weren’t many people around. The librarian glanced up briefly and
smiled softly as I took a few steps toward the shelves of books. I felt like I
was having a very Hermione Granger moment and was going to start salivating at
the masses of books before me.

I
walked along the bookcases and inspected the titles printed on the spines.
There were so many authors and titles that sounded intriguing. They even had
books our public library didn’t. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Skylar
always said the sound of Billie Joe Armstrong’s voice was enough to give her an
orgasm, and I always thought that was odd. But, now, seeing masses of wonderful
books gave me a warm, tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I wondered
if that was the sort of feeling Skylar was referring to.