Infinite (Strange and Beautiful, Book 1) (36 page)

While
I could feel the people passing by me, I momentarily forgot how to move. A few
rude people told me to get out of the way, but I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes
away from Skylar, who laughed as if having the time of her life as she spoke to
Jackson.

Unable
to stand the sight of her, I tore my eyes from my sister. Instinctively, they
flickered over to Jackson, who was still grinning. He turned his head, lifting
his eyes. I wanted to dodge behind someone so he wouldn’t see me, but my body
refused to cooperate.

When
he recognized me, Jackson lifted his right hand and waved as his grin
broadened. Instead of finding it endearing, the gesture only made the anger
that had almost completely cooled start to simmer yet again. I could feel my
features narrowing into a glare, and the moment Jackson recognized it for what
it was, his smile faded and his mouth dropped as vertical grooves appeared
between his brows.

I
didn’t stick around to see what happened after that. I spun on the heel of my
foot and headed back toward the exits. I balled my hands up into fists and
clenched them as I walked down the thinning hallways. I wanted to cry, as
usual, but I kept telling myself not to let it get to me.

As I
was walking, I felt someone fall in step beside me. Startled, I glanced up and
was surprised to see Mark. He scanned my face quickly. “What’s wrong?”

The
words sounded foreign coming from him. This was the same guy who’d shoved me
into a locker and stole money from me. Now he was asking me what was wrong. My
distress must have been pretty transparent since this guy who barely knew me
could tell after just one glance that something was wrong.

I
sniffled, trying to fight back the tears, and cleared my throat.  “The guy I
like likes someone else.”

My
cheeks burned once the words were out. I couldn’t believe I was sharing
something so personal with Mark Moses of all people. I should have been
completely mortified, but I realized I didn’t care. My embarrassment came from
the fact that I was on the verge of tears over a stupid boy. I was so sick of
feeling like this. My insides ached, and the urge to cry was overwhelming. I
just wanted to be home, where I could lock myself in my room and cry in
private.

“Want
me to kick his ass?”

Mark’s
offer startled a laugh out of me, but I shook my head. “No, but thanks for
offering.”

As
much as it hurt, the idea of bruising Jackson’s pale, precious skin didn’t make
me feel any better. Skylar, on the other hand, was fair game. I considered
making the suggestion to Mark, but I had no doubt he’d actually do it. Even
though I wasn’t feeling particularly loving toward my sister, I didn’t want to
see her physically hurt.

Mark
and I stepped through the doors out into the cool air. It was hard to believe
it was almost December. Before long we’d be celebrating Christmas and ringing
in a New Year. I took a deep breath and felt the chill rush through my lungs. I
shoved my hands deep into my pockets and sighed.

I
glanced up at Mark as we walked. “Can I ask you something?”

He
turned to look down at me. Even though he and Jackson were close in height, I
felt so small compared to his hulking size. “Sure.”

“Why
do guys always go after the vain, stick thin girls?”

Mark’s
mouth fell open, proving I’d caught him off guard. He didn’t answer
immediately. He seemed to consider for a second before he finally shrugged. “I
guess because we’re just as vain.”

As
much as I’d hoped he’d claim that not all guys were like that, I appreciated
Mark’s honesty. Still, it was one of those days where I almost would have
preferred some trite lie about how it was what was on the inside that counted.

Mark
and I parted with a goodbye, and despite my turmoil, the oddness of the
exchange wasn’t lost on me. I walked over to Skylar’s car to wait for her. I
tried the door, but, as suspected, it was locked. I shivered against the cold.
I wanted her to hurry; yet I had no desire to see her.

I
scanned the parking lot, but Tierney’s car was nowhere in sight. I even looked
around for Luke’s but it looked like he was long gone. I considered hunting
Mark down and asking him for a ride, but I wasn’t sure I trusted him that much.

When
Skylar finally showed up, it was with a huge smile spread across her face. She
unlocked the doors wordlessly and climbed inside. I followed suit and fastened
my seatbelt as she started the car. I went for the heat immediately, hoping it
would come on quickly and thaw my chilled insides.

I
briefly considered that the cold might be what I needed to cool the boiling
anger that resided inside. Was it possible for a tornado to build up inside
someone’s body? Any other day that might have been something to really ponder,
but today it just sounded ridiculous.

After
Skylar fastened her seatbelt and backed out of the parking lot and got out onto
the main road, she finally spoke. “Jackson said he saw you inside. Why didn’t
you come over and say hi?”

I
spared her a glance while willing myself not to reach over and smack her across
the face. “I didn’t want to ruin the party,” I muttered under my breath.

“What?”

“Nothing,”
I replied louder this time as I stared out the window.

“Well,
anyway, Jackson’s coming over to hang out on Friday night,” Skylar commented
casually.

My
head snapped in her direction. “What?”

“Should
I speak slower?” she asked. “I said—”

“I
heard what you said,” I snapped. “Good for you and Jackson.”

Skylar
rolled her eyes. “You can hang out with us if you want,” she said. “He wants to
know what’s up with you anyway. Why are you so mad at him? And are you ever
going to tell me what the deal was with running away like that on Sunday?”

“If
you’re so smart, why don’t you figure it out on your own?” I replied.

As far
as I was concerned, the conversation was over. I returned my attention to
staring out the window. I willed back tears, but I felt a few leak out. My
insides felt like they were being torn apart, or maybe it was just the residual
pain from my battered heart, which still seemed to be lying in the school
hallway where Jackson and Skylar had obviously taken the pleasure of stepping
all over it on their way out to the parking lot.

Generally
speaking, I wasn’t a fan of Lindsay Lohan, but I had enjoyed her in
Freaky
Friday
. Every time I thought about the situation, I found myself mentally
mimicking Lindsay Lohan’s whiny, high-pitched refrain of, “You’re ruining my
life.” Instead of shouting this at my mother, my words were mentally aimed at
Skylar.

The
situation was I’d turned into a teenage drama queen because of the sort of love
triangle between Skylar, Jackson and myself. It was so bizarre to allow myself
to think of it that way, but it was the most accurate description. The guy I
liked apparently didn’t like me back. Instead, he seemed to be interested in my
sister in some capacity. I still wasn’t sure where Skylar stood. Either she
liked Jackson back or just liked the attention she got from him. The other
possibility was she was just a bitch who took some sort of sick pleasure in
rubbing it my face that she could have what I wanted with the guy I liked.

When
I tried to be rational about it, I knew it was pretty ridiculous. I’d never
fight with Tegan over a guy. Of course, neither of us would ever go after a guy
the other one liked, so that made a huge difference. Even so, I didn’t know why
I was letting it nag at me so much.

Even
though I knew my dramatics were going to do little to change the situation, it
was difficult not to react in anger or tears. I just felt so embittered toward
my sister. It was obvious I liked Jackson. There was no way she couldn’t see
that, yet she wouldn’t just back off this once and let me have a shot.

I
liked to believe that if Jackson wasn’t interested in me as more than a friend
that I would be fine with it, but I hadn’t even been given the opportunity to
find out before Skylar elbowed her way in. The worst probably had to be way the
she was flaunting it right in front of me by inviting Jackson over to our house
to hang out.

I
couldn’t believe the nerve of her, telling me I could hang out with them. Like
I needed her permission after she so rudely invited herself along bowling and
insinuated herself into conversations. Still, I couldn’t imagine hanging out
with the two of them. Why would I even want to do that? It was already hard
enough. I couldn’t purposely put myself in that sort of situation.

Of
course, deep down I already knew
why
Skylar would do something like
that. It was plain and simple, really. It was the same reason why she did most
things; she was a heartless, selfish bitch.

I
didn’t speak to her again that night after our little spat in the car. Even
when Mom said, “Sil, do me a favor and tell your brother and sister dinner is
ready, would you?”

Instead,
I went upstairs, reported to Luke that dinner was ready and told him to tell
Skylar. He’d called after me, “Why can’t you?”

“Because
I’m not willing to waste my breath on her,” I’d said as I backed down the
hallway toward the stairs.

Luke
had apparently let her know about dinner because she, unfortunately, showed up
downstairs shortly after Luke.

On
some level, I knew I was probably being childish, but what I’d said to Luke was
true. I had no desire whatsoever to speak to her, and I wasn’t going to unless
it was absolutely necessary.

I
called Tegan later to talk about it. She was disappointed I hadn’t spoken to
Jackson, and she repeated the same thing she’d been saying for what felt like
forever.

“Just
because Jackson was talking to Skylar, it doesn’t mean he likes her. Besides,
Skylar was at Jackson’s locker, right?”

“Yeah.”
I couldn’t keep the glumness from my voice. Tegan hadn’t witnessed them smiling
at each other like Cheshire cats.

“Well,
then that means she had to go to him,” Tegan pointed out. “Which proves the
point that Jackson wouldn’t need to use you to get to her.”

“Apparently
not since they’re hanging out here on Friday,” I commented.

“What?”
Tegan’s exclamation was loud enough I had to pull the phone away from my ear
with a wince.

I
explained my conversation in the car with Skylar. Tegan wasn’t at all pleased,
but she tried to reassure me. Our conversation was cut short, though, because
Tegan hadn’t yet started her homework since she’d been at the stables all
afternoon. For once, I was somewhat grateful to get off the phone. As much as I
needed Tegan to be my voice of reason, sometimes I just really wanted to wallow
in self-pity.

Thursday
morning I was still in a dramatically pessimistic mood, and I informed Luke, as
we were getting ready to leave for school, that I would be riding with him.
Skylar stopped short when she overheard. She glanced at me over her shoulder,
quizzically, but I didn’t acknowledge her. 

If
my announcement surprised Luke, he didn’t let it show. Instead, he nodded
toward his car and muttered, “Come on then.”

He
fiddled with the radio until he found something he liked while he waited for
Skylar to back out of the driveway. Once Skylar’s car was out of the way, he
glanced over at me to make sure my seatbelt was on, checked for any signs of
traffic and then he reversed out of the driveway and onto the street. Luke was
careless about most things, but he was always adamant about seatbelt safety.

“So,
I take it you and Skylar are still at odds then?” Luke adjusted the heat,
turning it down slightly. He could make a lot of complaints about the car, but
the heat was not one of them.

I
glanced at him, but his eyes were on the road. I shrugged to myself as if to
say, “What the hell?” before I answered. “I guess you could say that.”

“Still
over Jackson?”

I
looked at him fully then. His inquiry came as a surprise. I didn’t know he was
aware of the Jackson situation. He hadn’t been home any of the times Jackson
had come by, so I was confused as to how he knew about it. It certainly wasn’t
as if Skylar or I would talk to him about such a thing, but I didn’t know where
else he could have heard about it.

“Have
you been talking to Skylar?” It sounded more like an accusation than a
question.

“No,”
Luke nearly snorted. “It would be beneath her to talk to me.”

“I
thought that only extended to me.”

“Think
again, little sister,” he smirked.

I
rolled my eyes. “So, what makes you think Skylar and I are arguing over
Jackson?”

“It’s
not brain surgery,” he said. “You and Skylar both know him. You’ve been at odds
since he started coming around. It’s pretty simple to put two and two
together.”

I
wanted to ask how he knew Jackson had been coming around, but I decided it
really didn’t matter. Instead, I crossed my arms over my chest, defiantly, and
replied, “Well, go ahead and say it.”

“Say
what?”

“That
he’s out of my league. I can’t compete with Skylar. There’s no way he would be
interested in someone like me anyway. The battle’s already been won. I should
just get over it already,” I said, rattling off all of the thoughts I was
certain were going through my brother’s mind.

Luke
tore his eyes off of the road and raised an eyebrow. “Why would I need to say
it if you’ve already told yourself all of that?” he asked. “Besides, who says I
was thinking anything like that anyway?”

“Weren’t
you?” It sounded like an accusation.

“Actually,
I wasn’t.” I couldn’t say why, but I kind of believed him.

“What
were you thinking then?”

“That
it’s really none of my business,” Luke shrugged.