Infinite (Strange and Beautiful, Book 1) (51 page)

“If
you’re so concerned about it, then just ask Jackson. Then there will be no more
room for doubt,” Tegan suggested, blowing out an exasperated breath when I
expressed my continued misgivings.

The
idea of asking Jackson point blank, “Am I your girlfriend?” was not at all
desirable. I couldn’t stand it if both my sister and best friend were wrong.
Instead, I tried to assure myself that, whether we were just dating or in an
exclusive relationship, that it wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t need to worry
about it. Either way, it was new to me.

Since
Mom was on vacation too, I asked her to take me to a salon to get my hair cut
on Thursday afternoon. Since I officially had breasts and actually looked like
a girl, I thought it was time to follow through on my vow to cut my hair.

I
asked Tegan to come along for moral support. As much as I looked forward to the
possibility of having more voluminous hair, it was somewhat scary. The stylist
suggested cutting it to just below my shoulders with shorter layers throughout.
She explained that meant there would still be some length, but it would take
some of the weight out of my hair.

Considering
I hadn’t got a trim since before school started and my hair fell just a few
inches from my waist, and I’d wore my hair long for so many years, anything
above the middle of my back sounded incredibly short. Mom and Tegan were
encouraging as the stylist tried to coax me out of my comfort zone.

When
the stylist walked away for a moment, Tegan leaned in and whispered, “It’ll
grow back if you don’t like it, but I really do think it’ll look it great.”

I
winced through the first several snips of the scissors, but the stylist had
been smart enough to turn me away from the mirror so I couldn’t see what was
happening. I did see some strands lying on the floor out of the corner of my
eye and they looked pretty darn long. Once the stylist was done and turned me
around to face the mirror, though, I couldn’t have been happier.

Without
all of the extra weight, my hair had a slight wave and a new healthy shine that
it had lacked before. But the biggest difference had to be how much older the
new hairstyle made me look. The style was flattering to the shape of my face,
and the new shine made my skin look healthier and less washed out as well;
although, that could have just been a result of sleeping better and general
happiness. Either way, I was very happy with my new look.

In
the days after, I spent an unnatural amount of time in front of the mirror
playing with it.

“I
never knew you were so vain,” Tegan teased.

“I’m
not,” I argued. “I’m just excited and trying to get used to it.”

But
I did make a conscience effort not to spend so much time in front of the mirror
after that.

I
was curious about what Jackson would think of my new look, but I didn’t get to
show him right away. We talked on the phone and online, but between spending
time with his older brothers while they were home for the holidays and his work
schedule, we hadn’t seen each other in person since Christmas.

A
few times I’d considered asking him about the status of our relationship. I’d
even checked on MySpace to see if he’d switched his status from Single to In a
Relationship, but as far as I could tell he hadn’t been on MySpace at all in
several days. I thought about switching mine to see if that would prompt him to
say something, but that just seemed so childish. I decided to just wait it out
until we saw each other again instead.

On
the eve of New Year’s Eve, Mom informed me that the country club was having a
party, which we would all be going to. They had one every year. It usually
started with a dinner followed by games and socializing as everyone waited to
ring in the New Year.

In
theory, it should have been fun, but everyone was so stuffy and stuck up. Most
of the other teenagers there went to private schools and when I was forced to
go along with my parents, I was left to entertain myself. I started to protest
going, but when Mom offered to pay for Tegan’s dinner so she could come too, I
relented. Besides, I didn’t have any better plans. 

Luke
and Skylar, on the other hand, could not be swayed. They outright refused to
go, claiming they had other plans. Mom was somewhat upset, but she didn’t
press, realizing they’d both be surly and unbearable if she forced them to go
against their will.

  “We
have two extra tickets. What am I supposed to do with them?” she fretted.

“I
might be able to find a couple of people to go,” I offered.

Mom
perked right up at that. “Might one of these people be the infamous Jackson
Hart?”

It
was obvious she was just itching to meet him. I considered pointing out she’d
probably already met him when he was over that day with Scott, but she probably
wouldn’t remember. Besides, he was just Skylar’s friend then and far less
intriguing, but now that he was my quasi-boyfriend, Mom’s interest was piqued.  

“Maybe,”
I finally answered, “but don’t get too excited about meeting him. He may not be
able to come.”

Mom
looked a little disappointed by the prospect, and I wondered if Dad’s questions
about Jackson’s car knowledge might be preferable as I made my way up to my
room to make a couple of phone calls.

Jackson
readily agreed, claiming he needed a break from his brothers. “One on one
they’re fine, but when they start tag teaming me, I feel like I’m five all over
again.”

“What
do they do?” Jordan had made some inappropriate jokes when I was there, and
Eric seemed to have a bit of that same humor, but they hadn’t seemed so bad.
When I said as much to Jackson, he laughed heartily.

“That
was them on their best behavior, Silly,” he explained. “What you saw was just
the tip of the iceberg.”

“In
that case, I can see why you’d want to escape.”

We
agreed he’d come over to the house around half past seven the following evening
before we got off the phone. I was quite anxious to see Jackson again because
it felt like it had been much longer than just a few days since I’d last seen
him.

I
called Mark next. I hadn’t seen him since school let out. I knew he’d probably
think an evening at that country club was lame, but I still thought it was
worth a shot to invite him along. Before school let out, I got the impression
from Mark that the holidays weren’t that enjoyable for him. After seeing Mark’s
dad that day at the school, I had a pretty good idea he was the cause. 

Mark
had never really given any specifics about his living situation, but any time
either Tegan or I mentioned something about going over to each other’s house,
he seemed to get evasive, like he was afraid we might invite ourselves to his
house unannounced.

Mark
didn’t have a cell phone, and he’d never given me his home phone number, so I
had to look it up in the phone book. There was only one Moses listed in the
area under the name Richard. I figured it would be quite apt if everyone called
him Dick.

Mark
seemed surprised to hear from me, and he seemed reluctant about going at first.

He
tried to beg off saying, “I’m really not into that fancy bullshit.”

“Good
thing this is a more of a casual gathering,” I assured him. “Besides, it’s a
free meal and a night with good company.”

“Fine,”
he muttered.

I’d
learned not to take his surliness to heart, so I cheerfully informed him that
Jackson was coming over around seven-thirty and he should do the same.

True
to their word, Jackson and Mark arrived the following evening one right after
the other. Tierney had dropped Tegan off earlier in the day on her way over to
Jesse’s. His parents were apparently letting him throw a big New Year’s bash
while they were out at another party. I wondered if Jesse’s party was part of
the plans Luke and Skylar were referring to when they refused to go to the
country club.

Even
though I hadn’t been lying when I told both Mark and Jackson that it was a
casual evening, I spent the better part of the evening getting ready. I was a
wreck over what to wear.

“Unless
you want to get up two hours early every day to get ready, you really need to
get over this,” Tegan sighed. “Jackson’s nice, but he’s still a teenage guy.
Unless you’re naked, he probably doesn’t care what you’re wearing.”

Instead
of setting me at ease, Tegan’s words only made me worry that I needed more
pretty underwear.

“Silly,”
Tegan snapped. I stopped pawing through my dresser drawer to look at her. Her
eyes were narrowed and her jaw clenched. “If you don’t snap out of it, I’m
going to smack you. Hard.”

Since
Tegan wasn’t violent by nature, I took her threat to heart. I stopped freaking
out about every little detail, and what sanity I’d ever had seemed to return.

In
the end, I wound up wearing a pair of dark washed jeans with a light green knit
tee with a forest green cardigan over it. I wore the flower broach and earrings
I’d also gotten from Mom and Dad. They were stocking stuffers that came along
with some new makeup and candy.

Once
I’d styled my hair and applied some makeup, Tegan smiled, but rolled her eyes
at me. “You look great,” she assured me. “Of course, after all the time you
wasted freaking out, you should.”

“Thanks,”
I muttered.

Tegan
wore the same jeans and sage colored cable knit sweater she’d arrived in. She
didn’t even bother with her hair and makeup either, and it made me realize just
how freakish I’d been all afternoon over clothing. As much as I wanted to look
nice for Jackson, I realized I’d never put that much effort into my clothes,
hair or makeup before and he’d still liked me, so it seemed ridiculous to
obsess over it now just because he was (possibly) my boyfriend.

Jackson
arrived first, and his attire was somewhat surprising. I was so used to his
t-shirts with funny sayings, so the olive green polo he donned, while nice and
complimentary to his eyes, sort of threw me off at first. He wore jeans,
though, and they helped dress down the shirt a bit.

I
greeted him with a nervous smile. “Hi.”

“Hey,”
he answered, smiling at me and combing his fingers through his hair. It stuck
up in a few places, but it was kind of adorable. He glanced over at Tegan to
greet her as well.

“Hey,”
she answered with a little wave.

That
was as far as our conversation got before the doorbell rang again. I pulled the
door open to find Mark. He looked uncomfortable standing there in his signature
black t-shirt and jacket. When I saw that he was wearing blue denim instead of
black, I realized he, like Jackson, had tried to dress a little more
respectable.

“Hey,
Mark.” With a smile, I gestured for him to come in. I made some quick
introductions. “Mark, you probably already know Jackson,” I said. “You’re in
the same class.”

Mark
nodded and mumbled, “Hello.” Jackson’s greeting was less of a garble, but he
was still reserved. I realized I’d never really told Jackson much about my
friendship with Mark, and I could see from the way he eyed him warily that, if
he didn’t know him personally, he’d heard of him. Jackson didn’t seem to be
judging Mark, though. It was more of a study, probably trying to reconcile what
he’d heard with what he saw now.

I
looked back at Mark, trying to see what Jackson saw, and I realized something
was also different about his face. Tegan realized what it was first. “You took
out your piercings!”

He’d
also combed his hair neatly back away from his face, and it appeared that I
wasn’t the only one who’d gotten a haircut over the holidays.

“Um,
yeah,” Mark muttered, looking even more uncomfortable. “I thought I should be
respectable and all that shit. Wouldn’t want to upset any of the uppity folks
while they’re trying to eat their dinner.”

“What
a pity,” I grinned. “They could probably all do with a bit of culture shock.”

Mark
snorted. “I can always take off my jacket and roll back the sleeves of my
shirt,” he offered.

I
glanced at Jackson and his eyebrows drew together, and I could see that he
didn’t understand, so I explained, “He has tattoo sleeves.”

“Oh,”
Jackson grinned, “you should totally do that.”

Mark
shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe.”

My
parents came downstairs then. Dad looked stiff and suspicious as I introduced
him to Jackson and Mark. To his credit, Dad didn’t say anything too terribly
embarrassing, and I’d seen him act even more wooden to some of Skylar’s friends
and boyfriends, so it could have been worse.

He
kept eyeing them both, as if waiting to catch them doing something they
shouldn’t. I realized that both Mark and Jackson outsized Dad in height by at
least a few inches each. While Jackson’s height was less intimidating because
he was leaner with broad shoulders, Mark was both tall and robust, and I knew
from firsthand experience that his size was a bit startling at first.

I
could just see the wheels turning in Dad’s head as he tried to work out how I’d
ever become friends with someone like Mark while he kept looking at Jackson, as
if waiting for him to grope me or something.

Mom,
on the other hand, was kind and friendly. She was also a bit embarrassing as
she went on and on about how much she’d heard about both of them and how happy
she was to meet them. It was a bit of a stretch. I’d never really told her
anything about Mark, and most of what she knew about Jackson came from Dad’s
quiz a few nights earlier.

For
everyone’s sake, I suggested we ride separately. Dad seemed somewhat stoic at
the thought, but Mom thought it was a great idea. “Just follow us,” she said,
looking from Jackson to Mark, unsure who would be driving.

Jackson
and Mark eyed each other before Jackson finally offered, “We can take my car.”