Inhale, Exhale (24 page)

My phone rang just after lunch. When I saw the 650 area code, my heart sank. I’d totally forgotten about the Google interview with everything that happened.

“Who is it?” Jillian asked.

I kissed her forehead and stood up. “I’ve got to take this. I’ll be right back.”

“Grant, what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing you need to worry about. I’ll tell you about it after I get off the phone.” I stepped out in the hall, and Ava and Trish (sans JT) took my place.

I slid the phone to answer. “Hello, this is Grant.”

“Mr. Hardwick? This is Nicki with Google, Inc. Your interview was to start a half hour ago, but our records show you never even made your flight.”

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and banged my head against the wall lightly. When I turned back around, JT was in front of me, eyes squinted in question. I ignored him and answered her. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Beck. I’m not going to be able to make the interview. Something came up and I’m unable to leave right now.”

“Mr. Hardwick, you do understand this is the only opportunity we can give you? We will have to make a hiring decision by the weekend, and this was the only opening in the interview process we had.”

“Yes, I understand. And I’m so sorry. Thank you for considering me.”

“We’ll note on your application that you declined the interview. I hope whatever issue that came up gets resolved.”

I glanced through the window at Jillian. Her eyes were closed, and Ava and Trish stepped away from her, talking in the corner while she rested. “Me too, Ms. Beck. Goodbye.”

I hung up, slipping my phone back in my pocket. JT stared at me, waiting for me to explain. “C’mon. I only want to explain this once.”

We walked back into Jillian’s room. Ava went to the other side of the bed, and I sat in the seat closest to Jillian, taking her hand in my own. She stirred, yawning as she pushed the button on her bed to help her sit up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to doze off. Have you been waiting long?”

I kissed her palm. “Nonsense. You sleep whenever you need for as long as you need.”

“So what was the mysterious phone call about? You seemed upset.”

I knew this was going to make her feel guilty, and I didn’t know how to prevent that. “I was supposed to have an interview today, and I was letting the girl on the phone know I’d need to cancel.” Jillian’s face fell. “Do not blame yourself, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“But you can reschedule, right?”

I squeezed my eyes shut. Fuck, this was going to devastate her. “Jillian, you need to understand. It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth not being here right now.” I bent and kissed her lips. “There will be other internships.”

Her bottom lip quivered. “It was Google, wasn’t it?”

My lack of response told her everything she needed to know, and she burst into tears.

“Guys, can you give us a minute?”

“Yeah, of course,” Ava said, standing and following Trish and JT out of the room. When we were alone, I pulled the seat as close as I could get and cupped her face in my hands.

“Do not feel guilty about this. You are what’s important. You. Not a job.”

She sniffed. “But how can I not? It was everything you’d always wanted.”

I was quiet for a moment, rubbing the pad of my thumb over her cheek.

“When I was a kid and my mom was still alive, my dad use to say to me, ‘Son, when you find something worth holdin’ on for, your grip will become more solid than cement.’ For years, I thought his love for my mom was what crippled him. That it was a hindrance and made him less of a person. But I’m starting to see now just how wrong I was. His love for her didn’t make him less, it made him more.”

I brushed Jillian’s tears away and kissed the trail they left behind.

“And my grip is cemented in.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

I awoke to voices arguing in the hallway. They were muffled due to the closed door between us, but there was no mistaking Ava was upset with someone. Her voice always raised a few octaves when she was irritated. I glanced at my phone. It was nearly ten at night. My parents had taken my Gamma home just before my nap two hours ago, and visiting hours were supposed to be over.

“I can’t believe you’d show up here. You shouldn’t be anywhere near her. Hasn’t your family done enough damage? It’ll just upset her, so go home.”

“Please. I only want a few minutes. To apologize.”

My hand reached over and pressed the button to raise my bed so I was sitting up. My ribs hurt like hell, but my curiosity outweighed my pain. “Ava?” I called. “What’s going on?”

“Great, and now you’ve woken her up. She needs her rest. After everything she’s been through, she deserves to be able to rest and heal in peace.” Ava wasn’t backing down, and the opaque glassed allowed me to make out Grant’s back as he stood against the closed door, blocking whoever it was from entering.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset anyone, especially Jillian. Could you just please give her these?”

“Mrs. Kirkpatrick?” Now that I was awake, the voice was clearer. It was Christian’s mom. “Ava, let her in.”

My request was met by silence for several long minutes. Knowing Ava, she was giving Mrs. Kirkpatrick the evil eye and silently threatening her not to upset me in any way. I really loved how protective my friends were, but I didn’t need to be protected from her.

The door opened, and Grant stepped inside and closed it behind him before coming to my side. “You don’t have to see her. No one would blame you. There’s no reason to have anything to do with anyone in that family ever again.”

I took his hand and brought it to my cheek. “It’s okay, I promise. I’ve known Mrs. Kirkpatrick for years, and I want to see her. She is not her son. She’s not going to do anything to hurt me, but if it makes you feel better you and Ava can stay the whole time she’s here.”

Grant nodded. “I don’t want to see you hurt again. She may not do it physically, but even by defending that scum she calls her son she could bring you pain.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not made of glass. Grant, you’ve got to trust me and stop holding on like I’m a baby bird with a broken wing. She won’t blame me, or make me feel guilty. I’ve known her for four years. If anything, she blames no one but herself. So take a deep breath, and then take a step back. And trust me, okay?”

Grant squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you were helpless. It’s just…I couldn’t protect you from the attack. And now if there’s anything I can do to keep you from pain, I’m going to do it.” He blew out a breath. “You’re too important to me.”

He leaned over, pressing a lingering kiss to my lips which left me swooning. “I’ll show her in.”

I switched on the overhead light and smoothed my hair. I had no idea why I was so nervous all of a sudden. I had no reason to be, but now my stomach was fluttering like the first time I’d met her.

Mrs. Kirkpatrick entered my room carrying a large bouquet of white lilies. Her eyes were red and swollen like she’d been crying for a while. As soon as she saw me, she burst into tears again.

Ava’s face softened, and she handed Mrs. Kirkpatrick a tissue. She took it, dabbing her eyes as she pulled up a seat next to me.

“I’ll give you guys some time,” Ava said, closing the door behind her. She motioned for Grant to follow, but he shook his head no. He wasn’t going to leave my side, just in case.

“I would have come yesterday, but I wasn’t sure you’d even want to see me. I’m so, so sorry, Jillian. I can’t believe he did this to you. I should have seen the signs; I should have stopped him before it came to this.”

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. “If I didn’t see them, I don’t know how you were supposed to. This isn’t your fault. Christian chose this path.”

She pulled out a fresh tissue and blew her nose. “I’m so sorry you suffered the consequences of his actions.”

We sat for a few minutes, each of us crying quietly. “I’m so angry at him, Jillian. And hurt. And afraid for him.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Jillian, I wanted to let you know Christian went to the police yesterday and told them everything he knew. Everything. Names of everyone he’d ever worked with or come across, locations of every place he’d seen drugs being sold. He feels absolutely horrible about what happened to you and is taking full responsibility.”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything. Grant shifted nervously in his seat. Mrs. Kirkpatrick swallowed hard and sat up a bit straighter. She twisted the tissue she clutched nervously, like she was preparing for bad news. I shifted my eyes to Grant. His jaw was set as the tendons in his neck bulged. He knew he wouldn’t like what she was about to say.

“When Christian was a boy, he thought Derrick could do no wrong. He followed his big brother everywhere.” She shook her head. “Derrick told me repeatedly that he never allowed Christian to go with him when he got high, and I believed him. But Christian told me yesterday that he used to follow Derrick anyway, and it was Derrick’s old buddies who first introduced the stuff to him.”

Grant scoffed. “So what, his brother who’s been locked up for years is to blame? Maybe we should tack on a few years to his sentence instead?”

Mrs. Kirkpatrick flinched at Grant’s bitter tone, but didn’t engage him. “Jillian, you’ve always been like a daughter to me. And I know he doesn’t deserve it, but I have to ask anyway. Please don’t press charges. He’s working with the police, and they’re going to offer him a deal for rehab plus community service with no jail time. But it has a contingency. If he gets in any more trouble, including you pressing assault charges, the deal’s off and he serves time. Please, I don’t want this to ruin any chance for his future. Rehab really is what’s best for him.”

Grant shot out of his seat and pointed at the door. “Get out! Get out now. How dare you come in here and ask for this. Do you see what he’s done to her? Do you? How can you even stand there and be so selfish?”

Big, wet tears fell down Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s broken face. I could see how torn she was and hated that Christian did this to her. I knew it took a lot for her to even come here, but it was her son. How could she not?

“Mrs. Kirkpatrick, his actions almost killed me. I get that he’s sorry now, but it doesn’t negate that I’m lying in a hospital bed with several broken bones and a concussion.”

She began to sob next to me, hiding her face in her hands, and I hated Christian a little more. Grant squeezed my hand, and I turned my attention to him. He handed me a box of tissues, which I gave to Christian’s mom. Her tears slowed, and she faced me again.

“He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. I know that. But he needs help, not jail. If he goes to jail, I’m afraid he’ll just continue down the wrong path. If he gets the help he needs, he can be a better person. And I promise you, he’ll never contact you again if you don’t want.”

Grant scoffed. “Let him try. I’ve been waiting for my chance with the bastard. I know he’s your son, but I’d rather see him rot.”

I gave Grant The Eye—the one that said
Seriously? She’s sitting right here. How about some tact?
before taking Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s hand in my own.

“I have loved you like my own mother for as long as I’ve known you, but I don’t know if I can do this for you. But I will think about it. For you.”

She nodded. “I understand. And no matter what, you’ll always be a daughter to me. That will never change. No matter what you choose.”

I couldn’t say anything else or I’d start crying again. She walked away, and Grant closed the door behind her. He took my face in his hands, brushing away my tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“You owe her nothing. Do not let her guilt you into this.” He kissed each of my eyes. “But I will support whatever decision you make. One-hundred percent. If you want to press charges on the no-good son-of-a-bitch who doesn’t deserve the air in his lungs much less your forgiveness, I’ll stand behind you. If you’d be okay with him just going to rehab…” He paused, grinding his teeth. “I understand. It’s your call, Cupcake.”

“I know you want to see Christian either in a six-by-six cell or six feet under, but I haven’t made up my mind. If he goes to jail, he will have no future. None. Not as an ex-con. And I don’t know if I can live with myself if I’m the cause of that.”

“You’re not! In any way. It was
his
choices. His actions. Whatever happens to him he has no one to blame but himself. Not some older brother, not some drug dealer, and certainly not you.”

“I know.” I closed my eyes, suddenly exhausted. “I just need to think.” 

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT