Initiation (24 page)

“Let’s get on with it,” Carter said his hands by his side. “Take your shots so I can go to bed. You and I both know what’s –”

Jim punched Carter in the jaw with a right cross, knocking him off his feet. Carter made no attempt to rise. He tightened his abdominals as Jim kicked him in the stomach, the force knocking him against his bedroom door. Jim bent over and put his hands around Carter’s throat, squeezing like a vice. Carter didn’t struggle. He didn’t show pain or fear.

“If you ever take my daughter to a party like that again, I will fuckin’ kill you.” Jim let go of Carter’s throat. Carter gasped for air. “You got me?”

Chapter 19: Good News

– 19 –

Good News

Carter brushed his damp fingers through his hair. He tucked his button-down shirt into his black pants. He stared into the bathroom mirror. His summer tan was long gone, replaced by the light olive underneath. He patted his back pocket, feeling the bulge of his wallet, and his front pocket – nothing. He marched into his bedroom, scanning his dresser top and the foot locker. His bed was stripped bare down to the mattress. He grabbed his wool coat from the futon couch. He exited his room and glanced at Jim, hunched over the computer screen. Carter bounded up the basement steps to the kitchen. He snatched his keys from the counter. As he did so, the front door slammed shut. Grace dropped a cluster of shopping bags with a sigh of relief. He moved toward his mother. She untied her long leather coat.

“It’s freezing out there,” she said to Carter. She hung her coat on the banister. Underneath she wore a pencil skirt and long leather boots. She smiled, her caked-on makeup holding firm. “Don’t you look cute.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Carter replied.

“Are those the pants I bought you for Christmas?”

Carter nodded. “Yeah, they’re comfortable.”

“They look good on you.”

Carter eyed the large-handled bags. “What did you get?”

“Oh, just some stuff for work. So, you and Sarah have any big plans tonight?”

“We’re going for dinner.”

“That sounds fun.”

He said goodbye to his mother before he left. He half-jogged to his Ford F-150 pickup truck. It was white, with several what-looked-like bullet holes on the right-hand side. They were the result of the previous owner’s dent repair job. A snow blower was bungeed to the bed liner of the four-by-four. He yanked the magnetic signs from the door that said
Lynch Lawn Mowing
and tossed them behind the seat. He pressed the clutch in and cranked the engine. Thirty seconds later, he was parked in front of Sarah’s house.

Carter pressed down on the parking brake with his foot and hopped out of the truck, leaving it running. He climbed the steps and rang the doorbell. Sarah appeared in perfect synchronicity with the chime. Her hair was curled at the ends, burned into place. She wore eyeliner and lip gloss, but her face was naked, perfect as usual. Her black dress flowed just beneath her knees.

“You look beautiful.”

She frowned. “Really? My mom let me borrow it. It was one of her more tasteful ensembles.” She eyed Carter. “You look handsome.”

He smiled and held out his arm. She entwined her arm in his and they strolled to the truck. He opened her door and she hopped in. He walked around the truck and slid into the driver’s seat.

Carter turned to Sarah and said, “I have some really big news.”

“I saw it already,” Sarah replied. “I feel really bad for the girls. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised.”

Carter gave her a quizzical look. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t see it on the news? I tried calling, but I got a busy signal.”

“Alyssa was probably on the phone.” Carter frowned. “She never clicks over on call waiting.”

“So you didn’t see it?”

“You know I don’t watch that stuff.”

“I’m glad you’re sitting down for this. Zach and Justin were arrested in Blacksburg on charges of rape.”

“Jesus.”

She shook her head. “Messed up, huh?”

He sat silent.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, it’s shocking, I guess.”

“It is.” She nodded. “I hope they’re put away for a long time.”

“Me too.”

She forced a smile. “So, what was your big news? Is it a bigger bombshell than that?”

“Thankfully no, but it’s really good news. I can’t wait to tell you.”

She grinned. “Spill it.”

“I wanna wait until dinner, if that’s okay. It’s a surprise.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

* * *

They were in a booth on the top floor of
Mike’s American Grill
, a three-story restaurant in the north of town. They looked out the window at the traffic below. The voices of patrons and waiting staff mingled with the cacophony of background noise. Eventually, despite the noise, it seemed quiet, as if it were just the two of them.

“Madam, sir. Your steaks,” the waiter said. He placed the steaming entrees in front of them. “The plates are hot, so be careful.”

Sarah smiled.

“Thank you,” Carter said.

They stared at the filet mignon, asparagus, and garlic mashed potatoes.

Carter picked up his fork and steak knife, cutting into the beef. He took a bite. “Wow,” he said. “I’ve had steak before, but never like this.”

Sarah tried her own and agreed.

Halfway through the meal Carter said, “Do you wanna hear my good news now?” Sarah’s face was still. “Or we can wait until after we’ve finished eating?”

“No, go ahead.”

“Okay. As you know, my eighteenth birthday was last week. And being eighteen affords me some power that I didn’t have a few weeks ago.”

She put her fork down, her full attention on him.

He continued. “I did a ton of work last summer.”

She nodded. “I remember. You were working sunup ’til sundown.”

“Plus I did a lot during the school year on the weekends and after school. And then, with all the snow we’ve had so far … I have enough.” Carter smiled wide, showing his upper teeth.

“Enough what?”

“Enough money to move out of my parents’ house and to pay for two years of NOVA.”

She smiled. “I’m happy for you.”

“You should be happy for
us
, because that’s not all.”

She raised her eyebrows.

He pulled his keys from his pocket and held up a single silver key. “This is the key to my very own basement apartment. I rented it from this older couple that lives in Landsdowne. It has a kitchenette, a bathroom with a shower, a bedroom, and a living room. They’re so nice too.” Her smile was fading. “They said I can use their washer and dryer on Sundays. And guess who can come over and stay whenever they want? We can actually sleep all night
together
.” He studied her face. “You don’t look too enthused.”

She forced a smile. “No, it sounds great. I’m really happy for you.”

“Us.”

“Of course … us.” She smiled, her eyes still.

“Do you wanna know how I found the place?” He feigned enthusiasm, trying to inflate the deflating balloon.

“Sure.”

“The older couple, the Woodruffs, you know, I told you about them before, my favorite clients. I saw that they had a ‘For Rent’ sign on their –” Sarah stared at her food. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

She shrugged.

“This is really good for us. I’ve been dying to tell you all week. I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought we could go there after dinner.”

She took a deep breath. “I have some good news too.”

“That’s great,” he said, his stomach churning.

“I got a full scholarship to Northwestern.”

He nodded his head, biting the inside of his cheek. “Wow, that’s great … for you.” His shoulders slumped. “That is really great. You deserve it. If anyone deserves it, you do.”

She smiled briefly. “Thank you. I’m really happy about it. I found out a few weeks ago. I just didn’t know how to tell you. They have one of the best journalism schools in the country. I mean, I thought I could get in, but I knew I couldn’t afford it. I never thought I’d get a scholarship. I think the article …”

Carter pushed the remnants of his food around his plate.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Carter looked up, forcing a smile that failed to blossom.

“I know I was planning on George Mason so I could be here with you.”

He set his fork on his plate. “I don’t know why I can’t just accept reality.”

“The reality of what?”

“That I’m destined for failure. That I’m gonna be someone’s punching bag, or someone’s lawn boy, or someone’s fall guy.”

“Carter, stop. That’s not true.”

“It’s like the moment I feel good about something, like really feel good, it blows up in my face.”

“You’re not making any sense.” She reached across the table. He snatched his hand back.

“I’m not? I think I’m making perfect sense.”

“Carter, stop. It’s going to be fine. I’ll come home in the summer and at Christmas. You work all the time anyway.”

“And how long before you stop coming home, or you come home with a Northwestern boyfriend?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

He crossed his arms. “How do you know?”

“Well, I don’t
know
, but that’s what I think.” She shook her head. “Why can’t you just be happy for me and see what happens?”

“So I’m supposed to just pretend like everything’s fine until you decide to get rid of me.”

She scowled. “If you want to keep me so bad, this is not a good way to go about it.”

He shook his head. “This is so fucked up. You kept this from me because you knew our relationship would be over the second you left.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d completely blow it out of proportion.”

The waiter sidled up to the table. “Can I get you anything?” he asked.

“Could we have the check please?” Carter said, still glaring at Sarah.

“Of course,” the waiter said. He retreated quickly.

“I’m not blowing it out of proportion,” Carter said. “I don’t think I’m making a
big enough
deal about this.” Sarah rolled her eyes. “You don’t even fucking care, do you?”

“I’m starting not to.”

“So when you go to school surrounded by rich kids and they ask you about your boyfriend, what are you gonna say?”

Her mouth was flat. “I don’t know.”

“Let me help then. You can tell ’em that your boyfriend goes to community college and he’s really good at picking up dog shit and mowing grass. I’m sure they’ll be impressed.”

The ride home was silent. Carter kept his eyes focused on the road, his mind floating elsewhere. Sarah sat against the passenger door as far from Carter as possible. She stared out the window, her arms crossed. Carter parked the truck in front of Sarah’s townhouse. She opened the door to get out before the truck had even fully stopped.

“Sarah –”

She turned, her eyes puffy. She slammed the door and ran up the sidewalk to her house. Carter blinked, tears welling up in his eyes. He drove a couple of miles down the road to Landsdowne. He parked in the visitor’s space across from a brick-faced end unit and opened the wooden gate that housed the stamp-sized backyard. An outdoor light on the house illuminated the yard. A patch of grass was split down the middle by flagstones that led to a small concrete patio that matched the size of the wooden deck overhead. He followed the path to the back door of the walkout basement. Windows flanked the door, allowing for natural light. He pressed his key into the deadbolt, turned the latch and opened the door. He slipped his dress shoes off just inside the threshold. The living room was devoid of furniture. It was dark, but enough light from the lamp outside filtered in to allow for navigation. He shuffled through the living room with his head down. He opened the bedroom door. A single bed sat against the far wall. The bed was made, with his bedspread pulled taut. Rose petals were arranged atop the comforter in a heart shape. He pulled off his jacket and dropped it on the floor. He brushed the petals to the carpet with a single swipe of his arm. Carter climbed under the covers and wrapped them tight around him. He lay on his side, his eyes open, long into the night.

* * *

His eyelids fluttered. He heard slow shuffling steps above him. The low morning sun shone through the basement windows, rousing him from an uneasy sleep. Carter stretched his legs and pulled the comforter from his body. His button down shirt was rumpled. He stood and staggered to the bathroom, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He urinated, washed his hands, and brushed his teeth. He grabbed his jacket from the floor and trekked across the empty living room. At the basement door, he slipped his shoes back on and exited.

Carter pulled his truck into the visitor’s spot near his parents’ townhouse. He trudged to the garage door and yanked on the metal handle. It was locked. He climbed the steps, opened the front door, and walked inside. Jim sat on the recliner, his nose in the newspaper. Grace was at the stove top, cooking scrambled eggs. Jim closed his paper and slapped it on the arm of his chair. He stood, glaring at Carter. He had a hole in his pajama bottoms near the crotch. He didn’t wear underwear. A bit of his scrotum was clearly visible. Carter kept his eyes up after the initial grotesque exposure.

“Where have you been all night?” Jim said, moving to block Carter’s path.

Carter stopped. “I stayed at
my
house.”

Grace pulled the eggs from the burner.

Jim crossed his arms, his biceps bulging. “You’re not gonna come and go like this is a fuckin’ hotel. If you wanna live with your little girlfriend, you can’t live here.”

“Your father’s right, Carter,” Grace said, pointing the spatula for emphasis. “You are not permitted to live with your girlfriend. You may be eighteen, but you are not an adult until you can support yourself.”

Carter shook his head and rubbed his temples. “I never said anything about living with my girlfriend.” He clenched his jaw, scowling at his parents. “And another thing. He’s not my father, and he never will be.”

“Carter!” Grace said.

Jim’s lips curled up for a split second. He grabbed a handful of Carter’s shirt, pulling him close. “And when was the last time you heard from your father?”