Innocence (8 page)

She started to cry, tears streamed down her cheeks, thinking about the horror and her misfortune. How many years would her parents push their only daughter away? She had to try and face them, despite the fact there was bitterness regarding her mother, but desperate times called for extreme measures.
And I am desperate…please, Mum!

Once the cup of tea had been made, she held the hot mug securely in her hands warming up her palms and fingers, guessing they were cold with the thought of what was coming— her parents.

Kacey finished her drink and decided to go freshen up. Once dressed, it was her decision to make her way to the parents and get it over and done with. She’d promised Calvin to talk to them; at least she could try, but already sensed the outcome.

She sighed, nervous knots filled her stomach that were tightening harder leaving her feeling sick to the core. Her mouth went dry. She quickly grabbed a glass of water seeing the time being 10:00 and wondered if they might have gone to work. She didn’t have a clue what days they worked or even if they worked at all. They both used to be full-time so therefore, she could be making a trip for nothing. However, her mum had been in yesterday…and well…the exercise might do her good.

She left the cottage, locking the door securely behind her. Kacey inhaled a deep breath and exhaled, not feeling much enthusiasm for the possibly of a wasted trip, but had to try. She waddled down to the main street. Slowly she reached the lane, the very narrow road leading to her parents’ house. The clouds in the sky were dark and threatening. She could hear the sound of a lawn mower cutting grass in the distance and a few cars passed by. Birds singing and sheep grazed in a field opposite. She strolled down the lane, and saw the houses where her friends once lived. Kacey bet none of them ended up with the life that she had. She could almost see them all living the extravagant lifestyles, working, nice houses, flash cars, and she bet with kids they chose to have.

Some of the old cottages looked stunning picture postcard. She passed the wooden workshop that crafted some of the finest furniture for her parents’ old property, as her mum loved keeping the theme and age of the house.

She stopped a few times to catch her breath, but still she hadn’t felt the baby moving. She bet the unborn could sense
Mummy
was anxious and would rather be doing anything but begging her parents to help her out.

She arrived at the cast iron gated drive, shocked they were open. Her mum had always made it clear when she’d been growing up the gates where to be shut at all times. She stood in the driveway, clearing her throat; nothing made sense right now. How she wished to run away, forget about ever pleading with them for her forgiveness. She knew she’d be the one to back down with her mum being stubborn and always right.
Yeah right, you were right, Mum, couldn’t be further from the truth!

The gravelled driveway took her straight to the main Georgian front door, the craftsmanship was pure elegance and Kacey remembered that the inside of the house had wooden panelling and high raised ceilings.

She licked her lips, deciding to stop wasting time. Bile filled her throat. She needed to pull herself together as being a wreck was not permitted. Yesterday words had failed her and ended up looking gormless, but not today. She needed to be strong.

She pressed the large doorbell remembering how it echoed throughout the house. Kacey stood waiting for the door to be answered. She swung around to look at the garden, immaculate having large mature trees in bud, the whole area cleared of all the winter debris, and the flowerbeds were planted ready for the next few weeks where colour would bloom.

The door opened. She turned around to see, just as she predicted, a housemaid popping her head around the door.

“Hi, I am here to see Mrs. Richards if possible,” she said not wishing to sound too abrupt.

“Who can I tell her is calling?”

Oh great if she knows it’s me she will not come to the door…fuck it!

“Daughter!”

The woman stood shocked.

Yes she has a daughter, now stop catching flies and go and get her!
  

“I will go and inform her.”

“Thank you,” Kacey said remaining polite.

There was a foul taste in her mouth, conscious that things were about to change. She ached wishing there was another solution other than asking her parents for help, but what other choice did she have?

She waited her stomach swirling and heart beating overtime, not needing to be doing this the thought of the bridge was a better option. Then she thought about Calvin and how much he had helped her, so far, but no chance was she going to put on him, no way he’d been far too generous enough and wasn’t going to take advantage of him.

While she stood, waiting for her mum to finally show her face, things had changed drastically for her from being the prim and proper young girl into a woman who had no respect, lost her elegance, rough with no courteous or any thought for others, until getting shit on herself.
Well, who really gave a fuck?
The only time people helped you was when they needed something in return, hell I learned the hard way, like always!

The door opened. Her mother stood before her, glaring at her like she was dirt.

“And what do I now owe the honour for this time?” She asked sarcastically lifting her brows and folding her arms, clearly waiting for her speech. “We have discussed all that we needed to yesterday, now leave us alone,” she growled.

“Please, Mum. I need you.”

Her mum narrowed her eyes, she unlocked her hands and waved her away in dismal. Kacey feared the worse, when watching her mum, grab the door to shut it. Kacey quickly jammed her foot into the frame urgently needing to stop her, she had things to say and they had to be said now. Her foot now wedged between the door and the frame, suffering with a sharp pain as her mum attempted to close the door.

“Please. I am so sorry for all the trouble I have caused, but I have nothing and I mean nothing,” she pleaded.

Her mum stared down her nose at her, “Well, you should have thought about that before spreading your legs and getting yourself in such condition.”

“Please, I never intended for this to happen, and you cannot blame the innocent child I’m carrying.”

“I’m not blaming the child. I’m blaming you,” she said cut throat.

“Fine. I understand that. But please we need your help.”

“You need my money more like,” she said projecting her voice, “Do you think I am stupid? You’re going to rob us blind and run back to whatever trouble you are in,” she said thinning her eyes.

“No. I…we have finished. He wants nothing to do with me and this little one,” she said rubbing her tummy while glancing down, scrunching up her nose. Never had she felt so alone.

“I need somewhere for me to be safe.” Kacey lifted her head, gazing deeply into her mother’s harsh eyes, really needing her mum to stop being stubborn. After all, it was Kacey who had the problem with her parents, not the baby. Then thinking about it, she had disgraced the family.

“Look, I am sorry for disappearing all those years ago,” she said, keeping her foot lodged in the way of the door as her mum attempted to close it again.

“Move your foot,” her mum said sternly.

“Please, Mum.”

“You’re only here for money.”

“No, I need somewhere safe for myself and the little one.”

“Don’t you dare use the baby as the excuse,” she said, pointing her finger at Kacey, frowning.

“Please, Mum,” she said again pleading with her.

Her mum tried shutting the door again on her foot.

“Ouch,” Kacey called out.

“Go away, and if you have any sense you will leave the village and not come back. I don’t know who the hell you think you are for turning up like this, but like you appeared you can vanish.” Clearly keeping her ground.

“Mum please, we have nothing, only what I am wearing.”

“And whose fault is that? You had a good home and threw it all away. Now be gone before I call the police and have you arrested for harassment.”

Kacey could not believe what she heard.

“You would do that?”

“Yes,” she said with great smugness, putting her nose in the air.  

Kacey moved her foot from the door. Her mum slammed the door shut. Kacey stood, staring at the large door not believing her mum could be so spiteful again, just like yesterday.  She felt like hitting her head against a brick wall. It was clear her mum was not prepared to listen; clearly she had shamed the family greatly. Her heart sunk to the pit of her stomach in anguish.

Kacey turned around, aware she had wasted her time yet again, but at least she tried. She sighed and guessed no matter what or how she attempted to put things right, her mum would never accept the past and move on. Her mum was tenacious and the reality was she would never allow her daughter back into her life. Her heart shattered, and yet again she was alone and had nowhere to go. She wondered how much her frail body could take. There was nothing to give her hope, nothing to make her see her future was changing. She promised Calvin she would try to talk to her mum, she failed.

Slowly, she made her way back to the cottage, not rushing at all seeing no point. There was nothing to do other than to pack, she had nothing to pack! She stood empty on the side of the lane, no path. Where could she go? She had no option but to head back to the dreaded city. The thought made her feel sick, slumming back on the streets or looking for a refuge that would give her accommodation of some form.
God no one had a clue what it was like to have nothing, and you little one…I am sorry…I have tried to give us hope, but no one seems to care. What am I to do? Where am I to go? I know you don’t have answers,
she said rubbing the palm of her hand against her tummy.
But I had hoped until yesterday to have had an extra lifeline…I have let you down.
She sobbed, exhausted, her back aching and the lower part of her abdomen hurting.

Arriving back to the cottage, the clouds were the same colour as her mood, grey. She ached in her stomach, needing to sort out her next action. She knew it was pointless in hanging around here her mum was right, she needed to leave, and to try and start somewhere else. But the point was her needed somewhere to start afresh, give her the chance to get back on her feet, only she had a baby inside and many other concerns.

Kacey sat down on the pub bench gazing at the cottage remembering the days when the cottage had been left as a wreck and here she was staring at it fully reconstructed and looking stunning. She sensed it would provide many holiday makers a relaxing time, let alone a base for the stunning Yorkshire hills surroundings it and some amazing local and long distant walks.

* * * *

Calvin nursed a major hangover, the first in many years. No doubt he’d bored Ross with loads of crap that he wasn’t all that interested in, the truth be known he had to try and not think about a certain woman, who would not shift from his brain. Maybe, it had been daft to drink so much, or at least irresponsible in case Miranda had called him, but he saw no missed calls or texts on his phone so he guessed all was good.

He knew he was still over the legal limit to be driving his car after drinking so late into the night.

He held his head in his hands staring down at the toast he had made, not feeling the urge to eat or drink anything. His head felt like it had been kidnapped.

“Good morning.” Ross spoke loudly in his ear, sounding in better health than Calvin.

“Morning,” he grunted unable to bring his head out of his hands to look at him.

“Feeling under the weather?” Like Ross needed to ask him that question.

“No, I feel amazing,” he said glancing up to see Ross wagging his brows. He looked at the time seeing it being almost dinner. “Look at the time, I promised Kacey I would take her to get some new clothes.”

“You promised who?”

“Kacey, the young woman I’m putting up in the cottage,” Calvin thought to explain as he observed his reaction, frowning totally mystified. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing at all. And you were planning on taking her shopping?”

“Yes, just for some fresh clothes.”

“I don’t think you’re going anywhere, and why the hell are you buying her clothes. Haven’t you already given her enough?” Ross told him as the kettle boiled.

Calvin lifted his head and shrugged his shoulders followed by rummaging his fingers in his hair. He had no answer for Ross to explain his actions toward Kacey. He just longed to help where he could.

“Black coffee?”

“No…but I need to see her, make sure she is okay and explain my reasons for letting her down. She will hate me.” he muttered.

“I don’t think she’ll hate you just for being late…I mean hell, where else she going to go. Anyway, I will run you to the cottage after I have had a black coffee and something to eat,” Ross mentioned.

Calvin smiled at him, delighted his friend was prepared to help him out.

“I would really appreciate that,” he said sincerely.
Gosh, I really hope she isn’t cross with me. I’ve never let anyone down before well maybe a business deal.