Insecurity and a Bottle of Merlot (18 page)

“That’s what friends are for, and you have the best bunch anyone could ask for. I’m glad you stayed in Tarrytown. If down the road Max and I do become partners in business, I’ll be here often, and I like that idea.”

“Me too, Mario. Well… we’re here. Let’s take Max home.”

***

Max’s condition improved each and every day. His speech and motor skills were almost back to normal from the constant exercises with the therapists. Max and Vic sat on the edge of the twin bed in the room he used, and talked often. It was a small room, sparsely decorated because of the amount of space needed to maneuver a wheelchair around. Nothing more than a bed, dresser with a TV perched on top of it, and a small nightstand occupied the room. The lighting was dim with only that small table next to the bed. It held the solitary lamp in the room. Vic made sure they spent a few hours every night after dinner talking about the past, and very little about the present, or future. It was good speech therapy for Max, and they learned about each other’s youth. Max had a rough childhood, but so did Vic. They shared that in common. He told her bits and pieces about the motorcycle gang he used to run with. Max wasn’t quite ready to confess all his transgressions. The timing wasn’t right. He told Vic how being in the gang made him lose touch with his family. They gave him an ultimatum, and at that time, he chose the gang. He hasn’t seen his parents or siblings in years.

“Why don’t you reconnect with them? Family is everything.” Vic handed Max a cold beer as they sat on the deck in her large backyard. Max used the wheelchair, but made the effort to stand for short periods of time every day.

“It’s complicated. I tried to reconnect with them once years ago, but it didn’t go over well. I guess riding up to their house on my Harley still sent the wrong message. They’re old school. My siblings were young then and very impressionable. Anyway, they all moved to Pennsylvania in 1995, and I haven’t seen them since. How about you, what’s your story?”

“I grew up here for most of my life. I was born in the Bronx, where my cousins are.” She gave Max a quick smile as they both reminisced about her cousin’s wedding last month. “I can’t complain too much about my childhood other than I was the only girl, and we didn’t have much. I guess we were poor. We’re proud Puerto Ricans though. My dad never asked for handouts, and he worked several jobs to make ends meet. My mom was a homemaker. With my crazy brothers and cousins around all the time, she had to stay home to keep the place in one piece.”

They laughed, each thinking about their youth, and their own personal memories. Some were good, others, not so much.

“It was tough growing up in the Bronx, at least that’s what my folks said. I guess anywhere in the city was scary for parents, wondering if their kids got to school safely every day. Anyway, by the time I started primary school we moved to Tarrytown. It’s the only place I can remember living. I love it here, Max. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. Do you like living in Peekskill?”

“Naw… it doesn’t hold special memories of my childhood, or anything. I stayed in Peekskill because I began working as a wilderness guide. That’s when I finally got my head on straight, thirteen years ago. The location was convenient, nothing more.”

“Are you hungry? I can get lunch started. How about a BLT?”

“That sounds great.”

Max reached for Vic’s hand as she got up to go into the kitchen. She paused, letting her hand rest in his, and looked deep into his eyes. The feelings were there for both of them. Their eyes didn’t lie, yet their lips couldn’t speak the truth. Vic had doubts and insecurities she couldn’t share with him. Max was waiting for a sign, a signal to say she wanted more. He didn’t get it, but Max was patient. He would wait for Vic because he loved her.

“Vic?”

“Yes, Max?”

“We need to discuss how long I’m going to stay here. I’ll be walking in a week. As soon as I get fitted with braces I’ll be able to do everything on my own. It’s been two weeks already. I don’t want to put you out. It’s almost time for me to go home. You have a business to run and there isn’t much I can do to earn my keep around here. I’m a proud Englishman, you know.”

The smile that crossed Max’s lips was enough to send Vic over the edge. She wanted to kiss Max and make love with him. He was in her mind and dreams every minute. The place Max needed to be was in Vic’s bed.

She caught her breath and let it out slowly. She wanted this man more than she ever wanted anything in her life, but there were obstacles. Max had no idea Vic knew about the whirlwind affair he had with Mia. He wasn’t told how Vic saw him and Mia together in the driveway the night of the party. The guilt and insecurities that tore at Vic’s heart were eating away at her. She wanted to make things right. She wanted to confess to Max, and come clean about everything she knew and saw, but she was afraid. Vic blamed herself for Max’s accident and she was afraid he did too. Instead of coming closer, Vic was pulling away.

Chapter Twenty Five

Sasha sat at the conference table fidgeting with the pen in her hand. The owners of the Victorian chose this downtown bank as the place to do the closing. Sasha wanted to get this over with and have those keys in her hand, now. Her apartment in Manhattan sold a few weeks ago and the closing already took place. She felt good about ending that chapter of her life and moving on. Tarrytown was a new city, a new atmosphere, where the old Sasha had no place, but the new Sasha would thrive. Sasha fell in love with Tarrytown months ago, and now, she fell in love all over again with the Victorian. Every room was already painted and decorated in her mind. She started a scrapbook last month, ripping pages out of
Home and Gardens
magazine. Sasha knew the Victorian would be hers six weeks ago. She was a woman on a mission and nobody was about to get in her way. She signed the papers and handed over the check for the agreed upon price.

The Victorian is mine! Just give me the damn keys so I can get out of here. I want to be in my house.

Patience wasn’t Sasha’s greatest virtue, but even so, she had to go through the motions, legalities and explanations. At last, the keys were dropped into her waiting hand. She thanked the bankers and previous owners, then bolted out the door. Josh Redmond waited curbside in his car to take her home.

“Josh, you really got me the Victorian. I can’t believe it. I need to pinch myself to see if it’s real.” Sasha already had the door open, ready to jump out of the car before Josh came to a complete stop in the driveway.

“Slow down, Sasha. You’re going to hurt yourself,” he said, laughing.

“Sorry… do you want to come in for a minute?” The joy and happiness showed on her face. She hadn’t been in the house for three weeks. It was like seeing it again for the first time. She ran through each room squealing with excitement and plotting the color palette for the formal rooms.

He watched her, focusing on her beauty. Any man would covet Sasha. She was arm candy, a trophy and a masterpiece finer than the Mona Lisa. She used to see herself in that light, but now, living in Tarrytown, she was just Sasha. That’s the way she liked it.

“Hey, Sasha, let me take you out for lunch as a celebration of the closing. You pick the place, my treat.” Josh followed her from room to room, waiting for an answer.

“Um… okay sure, but I don’t want to be gone too long. I have so many ideas in my head. I need to get back here and start writing things down. I have to buy a car too. I can’t keep expecting people to drive me around now that I’ll be buying paint and supplies all the time.”

“I’d be happy to take you on errands,” Josh said, too enthusiastically.

“Why would you do that?” she asked, stopping in her tracks.

“Well, just to be neighborly, I guess.” Saying he wanted to be neighborly was a neutral comment, safe and noncommittal. Josh needed to dial it back before Sasha became suspicious of his intentions. He didn’t want to appear too eager and come across as pathetic in her eyes. But she was too beautiful to let slip between his fingers. He needed to get her attention, but right now it seemed hopeless. The Victorian took center stage.
Maybe in a few weeks I’ll try harder. The newness of the house might wear off by then. I wonder what she’s heard about me from Mia, Tina and Vic. Whatever it is, it can’t be good. I need to be on my best behavior and act like a gentleman if I ever want a chance with her.

With lunch over and Sasha happily back in the home of her dreams, she said good bye to Josh and went inside. She had a “to do” list a mile long. She sat on the hardwood floor, scanning each room and the wide open spaces. She looked down the long, once elegant, hallway that led to the ornate double front doors with beveled glass. Visions of days gone by and high society parties filled her mind.
I’ll have parties and lots of them. They’ll write about the beautiful Victorian in the local society pages. It will be a showplace. People will flock to Sunrise Avenue just to see the Victorian and take pictures of its beauty. And it’s all mine.
Sasha smiled from ear to ear as she gently rubbed the faded maple floor next to her.
If these floors could talk.
Don’t worry,
p
retty soon you’re going to glisten like new.

Sasha needed help, it was time to call in the troops. She grabbed the bottle of water off the deep window sill, and went outside to sit on the porch. The cell reception in the house was poor at best, likely because of the many rooms with little nooks and crannies.

“Mia, it’s Sasha. Are you busy today?”

“Nope, what’s up?” Mia asked, as she configured the Bluetooth around her ear. She needed both hands for slicing tomatoes and cheese. Today, a club sandwich was her lunch. She layered the turkey, cheese and tomatoes between slices of wheat bread as she listened to Sasha speed talk.

“I had the closing on the Victorian this morning. I’m there now. Will you come by and help me with my “to do” list and throw ideas at me? There’s something else I need to do too.”

“What’s that?” Mia asked, with a chuckle. She enjoyed this new and improved version of Sasha.

“Well… are there any honest used car dealers in town? Somebody that won’t rip me off?”

“Sure, Tim Murray is pretty honest, but you actually want to buy a car?” Mia laughed out loud. “Have you ever driven a car in your life?”

“Well, no, but I’m sure somebody will teach me. Anyway, I don’t want a car, I want a truck,” Sasha announced, proudly.

Mia burst out laughing until tears rolled down her cheeks. “Girl, I’m starting to love you more every day. You aren’t the Sasha I met months ago. Who are you and what have you done with the prissy little Manhattan model I used to know and hate?”

Sasha giggled. “I turned into one of your best friends. You can never have too many best friends, right, sister?”

“That’s right, hon. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Do you want a sandwich?”

“No thanks. Josh Redmond took me out for lunch. I’ll take a bottle of water though.”

“Okay. You can tell me all about adorable Josh when I get there. Out.”

***

Max practiced his steps every day while Vic was at work, and was becoming stronger on his feet. He did his cumbersome walking exercises outside on the deck where there was more room to maneuver. He used crutches now, but his appointment to be fitted with leg braces was tomorrow. Max was far from one hundred percent, but with the braces he could walk until he got tired. Tomorrow would be the day he’d leave Tarrytown and return home. He and Vic hadn’t progressed these last few weeks like he hoped. Something didn’t feel right, and he had no idea why. Vic had a nurturing way about her, but she’d shut down whenever Max talked about becoming a real couple.

He sat at the table on the deck, tired of the daily exercises. Max carried Vic’s cordless house phone in his pocket and called his buddy and scout counselor, Gary Miller. They spoke right after Max got out of the hospital. Gary told Max to call back as soon as he could walk without assistance. He suggested that Max ought to consider working as a lecturer at different Boy Scout camps for the time being. Max had a long recovery ahead of him before he would be capable of going out on wilderness hikes. Any opportunity to get back outdoors with the scouts was something Max needed to do. He was chomping at the bit. Sitting around most of the time in a wheelchair drove him crazy. Tomorrow, he would walk without assistance. Max needed to get back to what he loved, being in nature.

Vic pulled into the driveway at five-fifteen. Max sat on the front porch, waiting with two cold beers. He smiled at the sight of her. He was a man in love, but he was also a realist. If Vic didn’t want to pursue a relationship with him, it would be time to cut ties. Max would go back to Peekskill, back to his solitary life, and spend his days with the Boy Scouts and nature. He lived that life before Vic, and enjoyed it. It would be heartbreaking, but he’d do it again, if she gave him no other choice.

“Hi, gorgeous,” he said, with that dimpled grin, reaching out to hand her a glass of beer. “How was your day?”

“Okay, the same old thing, but that’s business. Tomorrow will be exciting, right?” She reached for the beer and took a sip.

“You mean because of the braces?” Max punched through the foam and took a gulp of the Java Head Stout.

“Yeah… you’re happy, aren’t you?”

“Sure I am, but we need to talk about that. Do you want to stay out here, or go inside?”

She gave Max a look. It was a look that meant “I don’t want to hear what you’re going to say.” It was a look of dread and anguish, because it was time to have that talk.

“I guess we can stay outside. It’s a beautiful day.” Vic stared down at the steps. She didn’t make eye contact with Max. He would see the tears pooling in her bottom lids if she did. She took another sip of beer and looked west, toward the end of the street, facing away from him.

“Vic, I’m going home tomorrow after I get the braces fitted on my legs. I’ve got to deal with the insurance company about my Harley, and make sure my health insurance is taking care of the hospital bills. My mail has been held for three weeks, and I’m sure there’s bills piling up.” Max laughed nervously. “Anyway, there’s no reason to stay here and have you wait on me hand and foot. It isn’t fair to you, and I’ll be fine on my own. I talked to Gary Miller earlier. He’s the scout counselor I’ve known for years. He’s pretty sure I can work part time lecturing kids about safety in the woods and teamwork on overnight hikes. It will do me good to get back to work. I’ve missed it.”