Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive (13 page)

While most of us are not placed in life-threatening situations, we do face turmoil that threatens our family, our company, or our income. Whatever the threat, we all face fears every day. When effective leaders are stressed or fearful, they have to rely on their instincts
to survive. When the wind blows, whether gentle breeze or bitter blast, you must stand strong.

Our instincts inform the way we’ve learned to lead. Obviously, our personalities, professional abilities, and social skills contribute to this leadership style that’s been developing within us. Most business gurus and leadership experts usually categorize leaders by the way they handle conflict, by the extent they involve others in the decision-making process, and by the priorities that guide their actions. If you want to harness your instincts to lead as effectively as possible, then you need to identify your own natural or default approach to leadership.

From what I’ve learned about myself, I tend toward what I call a consultative style of leadership. This leader instinctively listens to feedback from his team, studies past and current data, and reflects on research and trends. He or she will ultimately make a decision but not without consulting all available influences to ascertain a course of action that is collaborative. This instinctive leader will ultimately make his own decision but shies away from unresearched conclusions.

Other leadership styles and the instincts that form their basis can be just as effective, depending on the
unique strengths of the individual leader. Each different style may also have various blind spots that can sometimes threaten a leader’s ability to remain self-aware and vulnerable. Let’s consider a few and see if you can identify the one that describes your present instinctive style.

Autocratic style
tends toward the propensity of making decisions independent of input. These leaders instinctively already know what they want to do. They are decisive and accept full responsibility for their decisions. These autocratic leaders may factor in other variables but ultimately trust their own hunches and instinctive decisions in leading the organization. They are not easily deterred by the opinions of others and provide a predictable kind of security by their sovereignty.

Leaders with a
chaotic style
bring the team together and empower them to resolve the conflict while distancing themselves from the issue at hand. These leaders instinctively bring the right people together but don’t always know how to focus their abilities. A chaotic-style leader develops and empowers those he leads to either form a committee or struggle through the issue to the best of their ability, and then he implements what they decide after the debate has subsided.

The
democratic-style
leader instinctively presides based on the majority’s opinions. This leadership style puts issues to a vote and feels comforted by the decision
being based on the will of the team. This style often gains buy-in from the team as members feel their voices are reflected in the decision. This leader may persuade his staff to view the issues from a variety of angles, eager to have them think through every possible solution and contingency. Above it all, he desires team unity and wants everyone connected to the decision-making process on a daily basis.

Laissez-faire-style
managers serve as mentors and have great motivational skills. They instinctively inspire the team toward excellence but often detach themselves from the actual decision-making processes. They try to hire the best people and then trust them with doing what they were hired to do as well as advancing the organization and its mission. These leaders focus on areas of innovation and future advancement, since they have set up their team to handle the present problems.

Leaders in the
persuasive style
make the decision but will spend a great deal of time convincing and persuading the team that what they have already decided is the best route to take. This leader is a great motivator and uses his or her charm and charisma to assist in creating cohesive teamwork. He instinctively needs the approval of his team and wants them to stand by his decisions and understand why he made them, even if they don’t agree.

Though I am instinctively the consultative style leader, I understand the value of choosing a team that
has a contribution worth considering. I also understand the value of various styles of leadership, and I have learned that a strong sense of everyone’s strengths and weaknesses helps me to determine best-case scenarios, similar to the way a carpenter chooses a tool for the present kind of job he’s tackling.

Strong, effective leaders will possess aspects of all these styles and have the discernment to know which will eradicate the problem as well as maximize advancement. They will be well attuned to their instincts so that they can choose the right tool for the job at hand. They know you can’t simply be one-dimensional. You must adapt to the prerequisites of any given situation, and having a wide array of options at your disposal increases your confidence, wisdom, and ability to remain calm.

Leadership has never been a one-size-fits-all endeavor, and those who only have one propensity will not be able to handle all issues or work well with all types of people. Being an effective leader requires that you understand what works best in which situation. There is also something to be said by striving to learn what works best with what type of person you are leading.

One of my favorite pieces of wisdom from Scripture comes from Peter’s advice about how husbands should relate to their wives. He says, “Dwell with them according to knowledge.” Good advice, not just for marriage but for any endeavor in which you seek to
nurture relationships and grow together. It’s hard to lead someone that you don’t understand.

A list of accomplishments on paper can never replace an instinctive leader’s response to someone sitting across from them. We all know looks can be deceiving. Résumés can be as airbrushed as a model on a magazine cover. In interviews, I don’t focus on the page of “facts” in front of me as much as my instinctive response to our conversation. So I question individuals on how they would handle certain situations.

It’s important for me to get a sense of not just what they know or which school they attended, but how their mind works and the repository of experience from which they can frame new situations. If you think of a debate in a presidential election, many of the questions are designed to determine not just a candidate’s stance but how he or she would handle complicated circumstances.

It’s important that you have been formally trained, but that alone doesn’t guarantee that when the heat is on you can make judgments and decisions that are well thought out. Anyone who has had their feet on the ground in management knows that textbook answers may pass quizzes, but they don’t build companies or churches. Answers on paper do not start companies or
manage staffs. Textbook answers don’t build results, but good instincts do!

Perhaps my view is skewed by my background, but I prefer leaders who have been in the trenches. I tend to prefer people who know what it means to rise through the ranks and see the organization from a variety of angles and positions. Because I am admittedly a pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps person who worked his way up, always crawling before walking, I value people who have enjoyed wide and diverse experiences, people who have failed and learned something from what went wrong, people who shrugged it off and kept going. Individuals who have followed and taken orders are more balanced at understanding what is a reasonable expectation for those they later lead. Unless you have been there and done that, you have a tendency to have unrealistic expectations. Without a few battle scars and bullet wounds from the trenches, most people have not fully developed their instinctive ability to lead.

Instinctive leadership cannot be reduced to a simple formula or a series of steps. It boils down to an awareness of your instincts, a willingness to trust what they tell you most of the time, and courageously stepping forward to take responsibility. If you want to develop into a more instinctive leader, I encourage you to look for opportunities around you. Ignore the ones outside your areas of passionate interest and invest in the ones already alive within you.

Look for individuals who model this kind of instinctive leadership in your field and ask them to mentor you. Watch what they do as much as you listen to their counsel. Continue growing in self-awareness and understanding of what makes you get out of bed in the morning. Step up, step out, and lead on!

O
ur guide seemed excited, but I felt nauseous. Pointing to a spot a few feet from our Jeep, he said, “You see that? It means the elephants aren’t far!”

“Wow,” I said. “More than one?”

“Yes,” he said. “Several of them, and at least one is female.”

Smelling it before I saw it, I tried to read the information he had ascertained from his rather rank natural source, but, well, let’s just say I was a novice.

On my safari I saw many surprising scenes but none more stunning than this one. Off to the left side of our Jeep, amid the brush and branches, loomed a huge pile of, eh, well… a huge pile of animal waste. And when I say “huge,” I mean the size of a diesel engine in a semi! Whew—talk about packing some power!

Now, I know you may be shocked that I’m writing
to you about animal dung, but you can’t be any more amazed than I was when the zoologist stopped and told me all that we can learn from the droppings animals left behind. In fact, he said that their waste provides a high-tech system of clues revealing the who, what, when, and where of the animals in the region. I never knew something that smells so bad could be so smart!

But the thought of tracking the future by looking at the remains of the past captivated me. If we want an instinctive understanding about where we’re going, then we must become aware of what we’ve left behind. Clues aren’t always in the pretty things we’ve done. Sometimes the greatest insight emerges from the mistakes made and opportunities wasted.

Most psychologists assert that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. But this doesn’t always mean that you will do the same thing again. However, it does mean that if we want to change and avoid repeating past failures, then we must learn to read our past the same way my guide read what the elephants left behind. I doubt the animals had any idea that they left so many clues about their identity and future behavior. And as crazy as it may sound, I’m convinced that we leave behind the same kinds of clues even if we’re unaware of the trail.

Just as a forensic psychologist—or profiler, as they’re often called—gets inside the mind of a criminal looking for clues by searching motivations and developing
a profile, we must examine the evidence behind us. Call it what you like, but finding out what works and doesn’t work in life has a lot to do with understanding ourselves. It isn’t enough to examine the hearts and minds of others; we must examine our own, as well.

People who have not developed their instincts waste potential and lack tenacity. I see people wasting potential every day because they lack the determined drive to develop their opportunities. To him whom much is given (favor), much is required (tenacity). When the gift is given, you must reinforce your instincts with determination and perseverance.

Often our drives and tenacity come from the places that stink in our lives. The sweet smell of success is often preceded by the sour stench of past mistakes! For me, part of that drive comes from the smelly place of losing my job and having a wife and children to support. Now, that set of circumstances isn’t foreign to a lot of people. But for me the stench of losing almost everything left me with a tenacious drive to get up and go forward. Any lackadaisical proclivities that I might have indulged were eradicated by the stench of unemployment, repossessed cars, and unpaid rent. Have you ever gotten a whiff of bankruptcy? Now, that smells bad!

You can see hints of the drive and tenacity even in the disparities of life. Many times it isn’t what we’re running to that drives us as much as it’s what we’re running from. What have you left behind that gives you angst and energy, disdain and drive? Perhaps looking at the forensics of your past can catapult you forward in a way that merely dreaming can never attain!

The programs that we offer in my ministry with inmates have had amazing success at helping the misguided redirect their misplaced aggression into motivation. In short, your instincts might be short-circuiting in bad relationships and delinquent behaviors, but by tapping those instincts, you can change what’s eating at you into something more productive.

Most of us will find roots for our instincts in our childhood if we’re willing to shake the tree. Sometimes our current problems and apparent mistakes occur as a result of ignoring these early cues from childhood. We feel thwarted and blocked by unseen barriers when we try to please others while ignoring our instincts.

And, unfortunately, we often have our instincts conditioned out of us by our practical influencers: parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, pastors, and peers. We’re told to “be practical” and to “get real” instead of living by the instinctive truth longing to emerge in our lives.

Others who have used their instincts to succeed are
human like you, flawed like you, and gifted like you. They may have been conditioned by their culture to be someone they were not, someone they had to dismantle in order to access their instinctive identity and natural gifts. So if they used what they had been given, you, too, can use what
you’ve
been given.

Here are some things to examine
that might give you a clue as to how you got where you are right now
.

Many people seem to have trouble identifying their highest passion and gifting. I often tell them, “Your purpose is in your passions—not just what you love but what you passionately hate.” Obviously, some people’s passion is exemplified in what they love to do. Their personal preferences and professional proclivities make their positive passions easy to detect. But some people don’t realize that sometimes what you cannot stand is also a clue.

If you can’t stand to see bad hairdos, maybe you should consider becoming a stylist. If you loathe seeing dilapidated houses and peeling paint, then maybe you should consider being a contractor or interior designer. Does the plight of the homeless make you shudder? Your passion might lead you to work with a nonprofit to eradicate this pervasive problem.

Just as your instinct is your insight, your passion is your instinctive power. Knowing what you love, as well as what you love to hate, can fuel your instincts in ways that provide a superoctane boost to the engine of your success.

Most people think that being busy equates to being productive. However, many studies suggest that busyness is a sign of poor time management and lack of focus. You become exhausted simply because you’re divided! There’s no room left for your instincts to operate. You can’t hear what your instincts are telling you above the noise clamoring all around you.

Some of the busiest marriages are often the most miserable ones. Some of the hardest-working people in the world are still way underwater and in debt. They may not need more money as much as they need more focus in buying and more focus in what they are building.

So the notion that being busy means you are productive is absolutely not true. In fact, some studies suggest that only 20 percent of what we do every day is our highest and best use. This means that 80 percent of what we do each day could be done by numerous others. And yet the unique contributions that we alone can make only take up 20 percent of our time! Imagine how much more of everything you could have if you switched those stats and spent 80 percent of your time doing what you were created to do and only 20 percent of your time tackling the mundane and ordinary. We spend far too much time investing in areas that are not central to our core purpose and passion.

Some of the most effective people in their field spend a considerable time on the golf course. They aren’t always running around with two cell phones and an iPad hanging out of their pocket. They simply focus on what they do best. When they work, they work hard. And when they play, they play just as hard. Curiously enough, they’re often more productive, instinctively getting things done even in the midst of leisure activities.

I confess there have been times I was so busy with people and issues I didn’t need to handle that when I was genuinely needed for what I alone can contribute, I had exhausted my availability and strength. In those times I didn’t segment my best use from my possible use. We must leave our overextended busyness to the dung heap of past mistakes, and concentrate on the sweet, instinctive smell of success!

One of the things the zoologist taught me emerges out of the fact that many times when the animals appear to be roaming in the wild, they are still contained by fences. Though the landscape appears to go on for infinity, it has limitations. Though the wild habitat appears natural, the animals are still fenced in. As a result, the gamekeepers and wildlife specialists must burn off excess brush in order to maintain the
ecological equilibrium. This brush-burning technique is done to simulate the amount that roaming herds would consume if they weren’t fenced in.

If this were not done, the property would become overgrown, resulting in the excess of some plants and animals and the extinction of others. Farmers often use a similar technique to conduct a “controlled burn” on some of their fields. Burning off old crops often adds nitrogen-rich nutrients to the soil and makes it even more fertile for the next planting season.

Obviously, burning off the excess takes skill. The fire has to be intentionally lit and carefully monitored and contained. These burn-offs also help prevent wildfires, since a lightning strike cannot set ablaze an area that has already been scorched and scoured by flames. My guide told me that as odd as it sounds, in this way they use fire to stop fire.

Similarly, we must use directed effort to control misdirected effort. If you’re consumed by busyness at the expense of real business, perhaps you should set a new and different kind of fire. When you burn off the clutter of busyness and leave yourself time to think and study, you may get less done, but the things you do will be far more productive and ultimately more organic to what you are passionate about accomplishing.

The fringe benefit of burning off the brush is a much clearer view of the terrain ahead. No one can see beyond their sight lines. And when cluttered with obstructions, our vision will always be impaired. So
before we move forward, I call on your instinctive imagination to answer a few questions.

My friend, take control of your life and subdue the earth you have been given, then burn off the clutter and chart the next years of your life. Once you can see the ground beneath your feet again, follow the bread crumbs that your instincts have been scattering! It’s time to launch yourself into your destiny. From here on, your path is clear and the sky is blue. And remember, watch where you’re going and keep your nose to the wind—you never know when you might encounter what an elephant left behind!