Into the Flames (Out of the Ashes Book 2) (11 page)

“Dear, I know how things work and if you are going to make me a grandma I know what has to happen.  So I guess Gavin will just have to buy some ear plugs.”  She takes large drink of her wine and turns her attention to her son.  “I hope you don’t make me wait too long.”

“Mother,” Ian
begins but Claire cuts him off, bringing us back to conversation from earlier but I am grateful for the change in subject none the less.

“Lauren, I know this must difficult for you to talk about and I can only imagi
ne what you went through but I’m afraid there’s something that I don’t understand.”

“Claire I will answer any questions you have.  I don’t want to hide anything anymore.”

“Well, you see… Umm… I’m not sure how to ask this.  So I will take a play from mother’s playbook and just come out with it.  I just don’t understand what happened with your father.  Why he left all that for you if he was planning to leave Natasha anyway.  Were they involved in his death somehow?  I’m sorry; you all probably think I’m silly but I just wasn’t sure about what you were saying exactly.”

I swallow the remainder of my wine in one gulp earning a sour look from Ian.  With a deep breath I walk to my bedroom and return with an envelope.  I hand it to Ian and tell him to look at the contents while I explain it to the group.  “Daddy had investigated every lead he had which wasn’t much
, just a few phone calls and from what Gregory, sorry Mr. Meyers said he thought it was just pointing to someone close to him. After going through this and overhearing some conversations between Dean and my mother, I came to a better understanding of what happened.”  Ian looks disgusted as he goes through the photos of Dean and my mother together.  The PI I hired did an excellent job and I was devastated when I received this.  I knew how much he truly loved Natasha even though she did not treat me the way he would have wanted.  He thought he could make up for her shortcomings by being both father and mother to me.  I loved him even more for trying though no one could fill that role, at least then.  I looked to Marlene and thought of Kathleen, Gavin’s mother.  Both of these women have shown me what it means to be loved and together they have become the mother that I never had.

“What a sick bitch.”  Gavin seethed through gritted teeth. 

“Gav, don’t.  Don’t give her the satisfaction of your anger.  She is nothing but a bitter woman.  I’m not making excuses for her but in the only way she could she loved Daddy when they were first married.  If it hadn’t been for me she would have continued to love him but I divided his attention from her and she grew to resent him.  She told me all this more than once.  Then eventually the same thing happened with Dean.  She never wanted to be a mother.  She knew only how to be a good socialite, how to appear perfect on Daddy’s arm and then Dean’s and her only aspiration was money so she could be comfortable for the rest of her life.  I jeopardized all of that for her.”

“Lauren, fucking don’t.”  Ian’s seriously pissed attitude returned with a vengeance.  “Don’t you dare take on any of the blame for her behavior.  She was your fucking mother.  If she didn’t want children there
were plenty of ways she could have prevented it before she got pregnant.  I’m personally glad she didn’t because then I wouldn’t have you.  But that does not excuse her behavior.”

“Ian,”
I stare lovingly into his eyes finally understanding his anger.  None of it is for me; it is all for them and the scars that I carry because of them.  “I’m sorry.”  I kiss him deeply, forgetting everyone else in the room.  I pour all of my love, my fear into this kiss and he opens up to me, kissing with a passion I hadn’t known until that moment.  I redden and turn to face the rest of the room.  “Sorry.  I’m truly sorry to all of you for getting you involved in this.  So long story short…  Yes, Dean and Natasha killed Daddy and wanted to do the same to me until Dean found a better use for me.”  I felt the bile rise in my throat and knew it wouldn’t stay down long. 

“That bastard.”  Ian’s strained voice
hits my ears but I’m already retreating to the bathroom. 

“Don’t come in here.”  I shout
to him through the door. 

“Remember what happened last time you locked me out of the bathroom.  I will gladly buy Gavin a new door if you don’t
open up right now.”  I take a few moments, knowing I don’t have long, to straighten myself before rising and unlocking the door.  When he hears it click he throws the door open.  “Lauren, please sweetheart.”  He looks deeply into my eyes searching for something.  “You weren’t going to…”  He lets the words die in his mouth.  “I couldn’t bear to lose you.”  He wraps me in his arms and kisses me. 

“Ian, I am sorry
for last time.  It seems there’s so much I am sorry for.  You’re probably growing tired of my sorrys.  I know that is not the kind of escape I want anymore.  I want you; I want forever with you.  If that’s still what you want with me?  And even if it isn’t, I understand.  I love you and will always love you but if things have changed for you I will understand.”

“Sweetheart,
how could you say that?  After everything?”  He turns my face up to his and I see the seriousness in his eyes.  “Lauren Carmichael, you will be wife and we will have our forever.  And I will spend the rest of my life loving you and showing you how deeply you are cherished.”  My eyes well up with tears at his words.  “Don’t cry, sweetheart.  I love you.  I’m not going anywhere.”

“Ian, I love you so much.  I can’t even fi
nd the words to explain. And I’m not sad.  I’m so happy.  You have made me so happy.”  I pull him in to kiss him once again.  Suddenly our lips and hands are everywhere. 

A sharp knock pulls us to the present.  “Is everything alright?”  Gavin’s voice comes through the door fraught with worry. 

“Yes, I’m fine.”  I say opening the door as Ian straightens his shirt.  “We were just talking.”  I blush as Gavin clearly knows that talking was not the only thing going on in that bathroom. 

“Well while the two of you were… um… talking Marlene and Claire were discuss
ing Thanksgiving, making all sorts of preparations.  So I think you two better get your butts back out there and reign in some of their ideas.  I thought it was going to be traditional; you know turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie.  All the shit I will spend the next month working off at the gym.  But Marlene is talking about some weird turducken, that I have no idea what it is and Claire wants to go all French on our first Thanksgiving.”

I roll my eyes at Gavin’s melodramatics and head back to the living room.  As I round the corner I hear Gavin say to Ian, “Seriously man, I’m glad you’re back.  That girl was a wreck without you.”

Ian’s melancholy is clear in his voice, “I never should have left her.  And there is no way I will ever be able to repay you for the care you gave her when I wasn’t here for her.”

“It’s all good now.  Shit, we better get back out there before Marlene and Claire start talking Lauren into anything weird.
”

I sit down just as they round the corner with a conspiratory wink at each other.

“So Gavin, did you invite your parents?  I hope they can make it.  I know your mother loves hosting and they are very traditional,” I make sure to drop in this last bit so that there is no more question as to the direction our dinner will be taking, “but I hope she won’t mind coming over here instead.  It wouldn’t be the holidays without them.”

“Yeah,
they are.  She’s really excited actually.  Not to have to handle all the prep and such.  But she did say she wants to bring the stuffing.  I hope you don’t mind.”  I shake my head.  I have a feeling I’m in over my head and I will take all the help I can get.  Gavin continues, “And Dad’s not much company but if we have football on he’ll be fine.  So do you think you could handle a house full of people?  Of course Ian and I will be here to help you.”  I hug Gavin tightly.  He is truly the best friend a girl could ever have.  I feel so blessed by him, by all these people in my life.  I feel the tears threaten again.  “No, don’t you start that, darling.  Or my waterworks will turn on too.  Now you know I love you.”

Feeling gleeful about the holidays, I
turn to Marlene and Claire. 

“
Well, then I’m glad that’s all settled.  So did you two kiss and make up yet?”  Marlene grins. 

“Nothing to make up for mother.”  He pulls me down on his lap as he sits. There is no more talk of Dean and Natasha.  The rest of the evening is spent pleasantly discus
sing the holiday preparations.

When Marlene leaves to take Claire back to Columbia, Gavin excuses himself to go visit
Brett.  I look at the gorgeous man next to me; Brett has nothing on Ian.  Ian is a god incarnate, a sex god at that.  The hunger in my eyes must be apparent because he looks over at me and growls.  “If you don’t want me to make love right here against the door, I suggest you wipe that look off your face, sweetheart.”

“I have no idea what you’
re talking about, Mr. Jacobs.”  As I say this, I run my hands over his chest and cup the erection that is straining through his pants. 

“That’s it.”  He picks me up, squealin
g, and carries me to our room where we spend the rest of the night and into the early morning worshipping each other’s bodies.

“Lauren, may I ask you something and if it’s too much will you please tell me?”  I start at his wor
ds.  His look is ominous and I’m not sure this is the best way to start our morning but I nod in approval none-the-less.  “Well, I’ve just been thinking with everything you went through…  You see…  Um…  I know we discussed you comparing
us
last night but I have to know.  Do I ever do or say anything to remind you of
him
?”  I had no idea Ian would even be worried about something like this.  There is no way he could ever… 

“Ian, nothing with you is like him.  I know you love me.  To him, I was nothing more than a pretty pet or a toy to string along until he was finished with me.  I know you would never hurt me but even if you did some of the same things as him when he was gentle or said the exact words he did, it would
not
remind me of him because everything with you comes from a place of love.”  I take him my arms and kiss him deeply. 

“I just don’t want to be a hindrance to your recovery. 
You have come so far and I would never want to do or say something that put him in your mind.”

“Ian, without you I wouldn’t
be where I am right now.  I would still be Celeste, afraid and constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to come back.  You have helped me, Lauren, become strong and have given me a reason to fight back against the fear, against Dean.  I know eventually I would’ve had to decide to fight or die but if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be in a place to make that decision yet.  Before you, day to day was the goal.  Now I have a future to look forward to; a future that I don’t intend to give up without a fight.”  I kiss him tenderly.  I don’t know how to make him understand that he is my everything and there’s nothing, including myself, which I wouldn’t sacrifice for him.  Ian rakes his hand through his hair.  “Still, sweetheart, I can’t help but think I brought the wolves to the door.  I mean in San Diego…”  Realization seems to dawn.  “That’s why you were suddenly sick when I explained who we would be meeting.  Did you see them there?  Did either of them see you?”

“I rode the elevator with Natasha once but she was too preoccupied with her phone to notice me.  I seem to be good at blending into the background when she is around.  Always have been.”  I mutter turning my eyes tow
ard the floor.  Now isn’t the time to feel sorry for myself, for what should have been; but with Natasha, it’s not something that could have ever been.  I think of Marlene and Kathleen; these two women are the mother I never had and I’ll never be able to repay the kindnesses they have shown me.  Ian runs his hands over my arms trying to erase the chill that the memory has brought on.  “I saw Dean too.  Only from the back and at a distance but I know it was him.  I would know him anywhere.  It was right after I left the conference room and I’d just boarded one of the elevators when they stepped off theirs.  It was only for a split second but that was long enough.”

“God, Lauren, I’
m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.  If I had been up front with you, if I had told you, I know you would never have taken me there.  Hell you probably would have cancelled the meeting all together.  It almost breaks my heart to think of what this will do to the relationship between Jacobs Enterprises and Ark Holdings.  I feel like that is the last semblance of our fathers’ friendship and now because of me that will have to end as well.”

“Don’t love, don’t do that.  This is not your fault at all.  This is his fault and hers.  You are not to blame in any of this.  They both took advantage of you and used you, hurt you.  Shit, just thinking about it makes me want to punch in both their skulls.”  It is my turn to soothe Ian.  I lightly run my fingers over his taut chest bringing him back to me.  “Shh, Ian, they don’t deserve your anger.  I know eventually they will get what they deserve.”  I just hope I’m around to see it; I muse silently while continuing my exploration of his body.  I place light kisses over his torso pushing his back down into the mattress.  My fingers trail ahead of my lips tracing a line for me to follow.  Down his chest, across his stomach until finally coming to rest at their final destination.  I wrap my hand around him as my lips catch up to my hand.  I run my tongue along his length.  He gasps, “Fuck Lauren.”  I lick around the tip enjoying my very own Ian popsicle; I savor every last taste before wrapping my lips around him and taking him into my mouth.  The power that I have over him feels incredible.  That I can make him so weak and he is willing to let me see him that way does incredible things to my self esteem.  He threads his fingers in my hair and gently strokes it in the same rhythm as my mouth on his cock.  “Ah, Lauren, sweetheart, please.”  I can’t tell if he is begging me to stop or not to but I have no plan to stop until he has completely come undone for me.  I take him further into my mouth until he hits the back of my throat then proceed to suck him harder while running my tongue around his smooth tip.  His hands leave my hair and fist themselves into the sheets.  His groan and cries of pleasure spur me on.   “Fuck, you are absolutely amazing.”  He grunts out the words spilling himself down my throat.  I lick every last drop from him not wanting to be done yet then smile up at him.  “Get your ass up here.  I need to hear you scream.” 

Yes, please!  I slink up his body rubbing my very sensitive nipples against every inch of him.  I love feeling his hardness against my softness.  It is the most erotic, sensual experience.  We are face to face now and he pulls my head forward, kissing me deeply.  I moan in pleasure. 

“Ian.”  I’m begging, not sure what I’m begging for but begging nonetheless.  I want him inside me, I want his mouth on me, I want his hands on me all at the same time and feel like if it all doesn’t happen now I’m going to explode. 

“I can’t get enough of you
, Lauren.  Damn, you are fucking perfect.”  He quickly flips us over and his weight presses me into the mattress as he copies the descent I practiced on him earlier.  He lingers for some time over my breasts, kneading them with his skilled hands before he takes each of my nipples, in turn, into his mouth, licking and sucking at each.  He is praising my body like a repentant alter boy and I am loving every minute of it.  His fingers find my wet core long before his mouth leaves my breasts.  He teases my wet folds but never pushes into me.  He rubs my own wetness over my engorged clit making me cry out incoherently. 

I feel feverish, like I will burn up under his touch.  His mouth descends over my rib cage licking and kissing down my belly until he reaches the apex of my thighs.  He slides his fingers through my slick folds once again before looking up at me.  The sight of him between my thighs sets my body ablaze but what he does next pushes me right over the edge.  His fingers drip with my wetness as he sticks them both into his mouth sucking and licking them clean.  “You taste like honey.”  He buries his face in my soaked pussy and drink
s my juices like they are the elixir of life.  I immediately detonate, lifting my back and hips off the bed.   After his erotic performance, my orgasm is uncontrollable as it tears through me.  My body is left a weak, shuddering mass as he cleans my wetness from me with his tongue.  When he determines I’m clean enough, he removes his tongue from my sensitive flesh and kisses me hard.  I taste myself on his lips and tongue.  If I could move or formulate sentences, I would tell him I still want him.  But my body has become goo and I am already seeping into the bed beneath me.  He stifles a laugh and grins at me.  “Apparently I worked you over too well.” 

He kisses my forehead lightly and I feel myself drifting as he settles in behind me wrapping me in
his arms, my head snuggled against his chest.  “Sleep my sweet girl, we have the rest of our lives for me to be buried inside you.  I don’t plan to ever let you go.”  He drops another chaste kiss into my hair and I drift into a pleasant sleep, wrapped in the arms of my lover, my beloved.