Into the Garden (8 page)

"Get her a glass of water," Star ordered Misty. She hurried out of the room. "You're going to be all right, Cat. Don't worry."
"I've been thinking a lot while I was waiting for you. Maybe... maybe it's my fault she's dead," I said, trying to swallow down a lump in my throat. Misty brought me the glass of water and I drank some quickly. "She got so angry at me. She was raging for the last couple of days. If she did have a heart attack, it's my fault," I insisted.
"No, no," Jade said, shaking her head. "She shouldn't have gotten angry at those things anyway. It's her fault. She probably ate her own heart out."
"Jade's right," Misty said. "My mother's always talking about stress making you sick and giving you wrinkles. That's what happened to your sister. She stressed herself to the point of breaking."
"She was meant to die," Star added. "It was her time. You can't blame yourself for that."
"I couldn't help with any of the housework and she hated that I made her relive the past. I kept asking questions she didn't want to answer. Telling me about the past was painful for her, too," I told them. Although they didn't look like they believed it or cared, they nodded as I spoke. It just felt good to keep talking so I related all the facts Geraldine had given me about our mother and her so-called assignations with different men. As long as I talked, I didn't cry.
"She should have told you everything years ago. You're not a child," Star said. "Granny says secrets can be like rats living in the closets of your heart, gnawing at you until you get sick."
"She got sick all right," Jade said, nodding at Geraldine's body.
"Who do we call?" Misty asked. "I mean, do we call the police first or an ambulance or what? Anybody know?"
"You call the police first," Jade said. "They have to investigate before they remove the body. It's an unattended death. Don't you watch any television?"
"You know I do," Misty said.
"They'll surely blame me," I said. "Maybe they'll want to put me in jail."
"That's silly, Cat. Stay cool," Star said.
She looked at Jade and Jade looked at Misty. Then they were all staring at me.
"More importantly, what's going to happen to Cat?" Star wondered aloud.
"Does your mother have any nearby relatives?" Jade asked.
I shook my head.
"There are some cousins, but they live on the East Coast I think. I don't even know their names."
"They won't care about her," Star said. "She's no more than a stranger to them."
"She can't call her adoptive father's family. That's for sure," Misty said.
Jade nodded.
"So what happens to her now?" Star asked They were talking almost as ill wasn't even there.
"She's not eighteen yet," Jade said, putting on her official, adult face. "If there's no family to take her in, she'll go to foster care."
"What does that mean?" Misty asked before I could.
"It means she'll become a ward of the state and fanned out to some family until she's eighteen:'
"You mean that she'll have to live with complete strangers?" Misty asked, astounded.
"No," Star said sarcastically. "They'll introduce her first. Of course, strangers. What do you think?" "Oh," Misty said, turning to me. "Poor Cat."
"When she turns eighteen, her trust, all of it becomes hers and then she'll be on her own," Jade added, to soften the blow.
"Lotta good that does now," Star muttered. "She's got nearly a year to go."
Misty nodded and then looked back at Geraldine. When she turned to me again, I saw a new glint in her eyes.
"Who's your mother's, I mean your sister's closest friend?" she asked
"She doesn't have any close friends," I said. "In fact, she doesn't have anyone I'd call a friend. She's never invited to anyone's home or invites anyone here. No one ever calls her. She has no one really."
"Had," Jade reminded us. "Had. She's gone."
"Besides," Star said, "just because someone might have been her sister's friend, doesn't mean they'd want to be responsible for Cat."
"I know, but what if..." Misty began, her eyes rolling as she shifted her feet and moved to the sofa, "we didn't tell anyone?"
"Huh?" Star said. "Didn't tell anyone what?"
"About.., her," she said, nodding toward Geraldine's body. "From what Cat's saying, no one will miss her." Star looked at Jade and me before answering Misty. "You mean, keep her death a secret?"
"Yes, exactly. If no one knows she's dead, Cat doesn't have to be farmed out to foster care, right?"
"But ... she
is
dead!" Star exclaimed. "How do you keep that a secret? Prop her up in the window? Misty, you do watch too much television."
"No, not exactly prop her up. One of us could parade around in her clothes once in a while so the neighbors don't get suspicious. If we need it, maybe we can get a wig that's close to her hair, too. I bet Jade's mother could get one for us."
"Oh, and what do I tell her? I need a wig to impersonate a dead woman?" Jade asked.
"No, you can say it's for a play or something. She won't check up on it, will she?"
"No, but--"
"Yes, we can do this," Misty said, getting excited. "Listen, just listen for a moment," she insisted. "We don't tell the police and we help Cat. We can all take turns staying here. Why," she said, gazing around, "this house can be headquarters for the OWP's!"
Star looked at Jade who shook her head. "What about money, stupid?" she asked. Misty looked to me.
"Geraldine kept all our accounts up-to-date. I know where the books are. I know we have plenty of money in money market accounts, CD's, that sort of thing. She would talk aloud sometimes when she worked," I explained, "lecture me about taking care of your own money yourself. She didn't even use an accountant. She did her own taxes. She said she learned all of it from her father."
"That's Geraldine, not you," Jade pointed out.
"No," I said. "I know a lot about it. I know I can copy her signature."
"Forgery?" Star looked at the others. "How do you know you can do that?"
"I did it a few times when I was too scared to show her something from school. No one questioned it. I would practice tracing it for hours and hours until I got it right. Many of the people who handle her banking and investments never even saw her," I added, wiping my eyes free of tears. "She would speak to them on the phone or keep in contact with them through the mail. She hated going to their offices. It would mean she would have to tidy herself up and put on what she called a 'going-out' dress and spend money on gas."
"She doesn't have to spend it now," Star said.
"Yes, but Cat does. I don't know," Jade said. "What about your school when school starts up again? Won't they be wondering where she is?" she asked quickly.
I shrugged.
"She went with me at the start, but never again. They don't call the parents in. They send letters, sometimes make phone calls, but not often. They believe in handling all the problems themselves and not burdening the parents."
"You see!" Misty cried.
"I don't know," Jade repeated.
"What don't you know? It's a good idea, isn't it? Well? Isn't it?" Misty pressured.
Jade considered. Star watched her and waited. Then Jade turned and looked down at Geraldine.
"What about... her?"
"We bury her," Misty said, lifting her arms as if the answer was obvious.
"Bury her? Us? How? Where?"
Misty turned to me.
"What about your backyard?" she suggested.
"My backyard?"
"Yeah. Does anyone ever go there?"
"No, we're walled in and we don't have a gardener anymore. She thought it was an unnecessary expense," I said.
"Right," Misty said, "so the backyard will be perfect."
"Perfect? You're going to carry her out and bury her?"
Jade asked incredulously.
"Well, not by myself. Star?"
"I suppose we could do it," Star said, musing. She paused and turned sharply to me. "Do you have a Bible?" she asked me.
"Yes, right there," I said, pointing to it on the corner table by the sofa. "She read it often."
"What's a Bible have to do with anything?" Jade asked, her voice rising in pitch.
"I've been to enough funerals to know what to say. You read a psalm," she added "Did she have a favorite?"
"I don't think so," I said.
"You're all crazy," Jade said. "We can't do this We can't just bury her."
"Why not?" Misty asked.
"We can if Cat's got a shovel," Star said. "Do you have a shovel?" she asked me.
"In the garage," I said. "The shovels are kept along the wall, in their proper place."
"Get a clean bedsheet to use as a shroud," Star ordered.
'Wait," Jade said before I could move. 'This is against the law, you know. You don't just bury someone without a death certificate."
"What choice do we have?" Star asked her. "You said yourself they'll send her away. Look at her, Jade. Do you want her to be forced to live with strangers. She had it tough enough as it was living here, didn't she?"
"Maybe we should talk to Doctor Marlowe," Jade suggested.
"What? You know as soon as you tell about her," Star said, nodding at Geraldine, "it's over. This is a secret we either all keep in here," she said, putting her right palm over her heart, "until the day we die, or not. Make up your mind now and forever, I say."
"I swear I'll never tell," Misty quickly agreed. "We can do a bond of blood or something, if you like."
Jade smirked.
"We don't need that silly stuff."
"It's not any sillier than what you did at your house with the candle," Misty countered, offended.
"We just don't need any ceremony," Jade said. "If we promise, we promise. Let me think a minute. You're moving too fast. This is so crazy." She turned to me. "Are you sure you didn't call anyone else?" she asked me, looking like she hoped I had.
"No. You were the only one I called. Who else would I call?"
She nodded. The other two watched her think.
"You really want to do this?" Jade asked me.
I looked down at Geraldine. She would be furious, I thought, but then I thought about the freedom and having the girls with me, all of us together, truly the family we coveted for so long.
"I think so," I said.
"Good," Misty chimed before I could have second thoughts. "We better get started. There's so much planning to do."
Star and Jade looked at each other and Star nodded. "Well?" she asked her.
"Bury her ourselves? I'm wearing a Prada outfit," Jade moaned.
"So? If you ruin it, you'll buy another," Star replied. "We saw your closet, Jade. You probably have hundreds of outfits you haven't even worn yet anyway."
"What do we do first?" Jade asked, reluctantly.
"First we get the shroud and the shovel. I have the Bible here. Then we do the funeral," Star rattled off. She turned to me. "You get the bedsheet. look for the shovel. Any lights out there?"
"No," I said.
"We'll need a flashlight."
"I just put fresh batteries in it," I said.
Jade raised her eyebrows.
"Fresh batteries? Wonderful." She studied me a moment. "Are you really all right with this?" she asked me
I avoided looking down at Geraldine.
"I don't want to be sent anywhere," I said. "I'm tired of agencies and strangers."
"She's okay," Misty followed and put her arm around me to squeeze me and comfort me. "Stop driving her crazy."
"This isn't a game, Misty. I'm not kidding. It's illegal. We could all get into a lot of trouble. It's serious," Jade reaffirmed.
"I'm being serious," Misty cried.
"If we're going to do it," Star said, "let's do it or let's just all go home?'
"No," I said quickly. "Don't go home. I don't know what I'll do. I'll run away. I'll--"
"All right, all right we'll do it," Jade declared. She took a deep breath and said, "Go get the bedsheet."
"I'll help you," Misty said, and followed me out. "You should make yourself a bed downstairs," she suggested as I worked my way up the steps. "At least until your ankle heals."
"Geraldine never liked the idea of anyone sleeping in the living room. She made me do it the other night but that was her way of punishing me."
"You're in charge of yourself. She's gone. She won't ever punish you again," Misty declared, almost gleefully.
I paused and looked down toward the living room. "No, I suppose not, but if she could, she would send me to my room without supper, just for talking about this."
We continued up. I decided to take one of the bedsheets from her bed, not mine. It seemed more appropriate to do so. When we entered Geraldine's bedroom, Misty gazed around, shaking her head with disapproval.
"It's so..."
"What?"
"Bland," she said. "And what's with that other bed? Why isn't it made?"
Geraldine's bed was made with the usual perfection, not a crease in the pillow or the spread, but my father's bed was stripped bare.
"It's where he slept. She wanted to feel he was gone, I guess."
"That's ugly. She could have left it made up," Misty said.
Of course, everything was glittering and clean: the dressers and armoire, the tables and the windows. Everything was in its place, not an article of clothing left out, not a drawer so much as slightly open. The window shade was down, the curtain closed.
"There's nothing to suggest a woman sleeps here," Misty continued as I located the bedsheet in the bathroom closet. "No flowery scent, no daintiness, and that plain white bedding ...It's almost like a hospital room," she added.
I gazed around, considering what she said.
"I wasn't in here very often," I said. "She never let me help clean it, and even when I was a little girl, I couldn't come running in here if I had a bad dream. The door was always kept shut."
"It doesn't look like you missed much," she said. "You know it's strange, I have to keep reminding myself she was really your sister, not your mother?'
"Me too," I said.
"I bet. Ready?"
I nodded and we returned to the living room where Star sat next to Jade on the sofa, talking. She had the shovel in her hand.
"I'll get the flashlight on our way out," I said. "There's a back door."
"That's good. I wouldn't want anyone seeing us carrying her out the front:' Jade said. "They would think we murdered her or something"
"Okay, we have the sheet. What do we do next?" Misty asked Star, who had somehow become the one who knew the most about burying a dead body.
"Roll her up in the sheet," she replied and stood up. She reached out and I handed the sheet to her. "Move the table out of the way," she ordered. Misty and I did so and she spread the sheet out next to Geraldine.
Her eyes were still fixed on me, I thought. I couldn't look at her. Star went behind her and looked at us.
"Let's go," she said. "Roll her over."
"Ugh," Jade said, but got beside her. With her head turned away, she put her hands on Geraldine's back. Misty moved quickly to join them.