Invitation to Ecstasy (3 page)

He had every intention of earning that trust if it was the
last thing he offered her this night. Derek would only enjoy their intimacy if
he was able to fulfill her needs. Take away the control she willingly offered
and bring them both pleasure in the process. But before Sara could believe he
was capable, he would have to prove it to himself.

Both of them seemed to be standing on shaky ground at the
moment.

Bending over, he ran his hands up the back of her legs. The
silken lips of her pussy were swollen and slick with her cream. Derek inhaled
the heady aroma, letting it fuel his own pounding desire.

“I’m going to punish you now for your disrespect.”

“I deserve nothing more, Master.” Her voice was tinny, a hollow
echo of the impudent bursts in the hall.

He chose a double-strapped paddle from the wall behind him.
Slapping it against his palm as he walked back to her, he let her hear the
sound and anticipate the pain he would deliver. He smacked it twice more on his
palm before bringing it down hard on her buttock. She barely flinched. Derek
brought the paddle down several times in rapid succession, reddening the flesh
of her ass in a mosaic of stripes. Her heavy lids slid to half-mast but didn’t
close. Her breath quickened, tearing from her lungs in ragged puffs. Her nails
bit into her palms as she fisted her hands around the legs of the bench.

She wasn’t fighting the pain, just the opposite in fact. She
welcomed each hard slap of the leather, coming up on tiptoe, her hips canting
to offer more of her ass to him. He obliged her with several more spankings.
Moisture leaked from her cunt to coat her nether lips and thighs. She was
definitely getting aroused by the pain, but something seemed just a little—off.

It wasn’t subspace making her glassy-eyed. Sara was focused
on some wall she’d erected to keep her separate from what was happening here in
the dungeon.

Separate from him.

Fine.
He would simply breach her defenses and get her
to acknowledge whatever it was Sara thought she needed to protect.

Dragging the leather across the sensitive skin of her
cheeks, Derek tested her readiness. Her back arched and the taut muscles of her
thighs quivered in anticipation. So well trained to the pain, the spankings
alone had carried her to the edge of release. He tested his theory with three
quick smacks to her glowing cheeks. When her back bowed and her chin lifted,
Derek knew she was waiting for his command before rushing headlong into the
abyss of bliss.

But he wouldn’t allow it. Not until she was present in this
moment.

“You are not to come until I give you permission.”

“Yes, Master.” She dragged out the title, pausing only a
moment for his command. “But I’m sure I haven’t learned my lesson.”

Exactly what he expected, she was too eager to accept the
spankings. He needed to change tactics and find a way around her defenses. “No,
obviously you haven’t.” He dropped the paddle, unwilling to offer the pain she
needed to remain in control.

He moved to the side, standing in front of her unfocused
eyes. “Sara, look at me.”

Startled at the command, it took a moment for her gaze to
travel up his torso, hesitating at his chest, and then moving to settle on his
mouth. He wasn’t sure if it was protocol that kept her eyes from finding his or
the walls of armor she couldn’t see around. Either way, he was going to make
her acknowledge him.

“Who does your body belong to tonight?” He unzipped his
jeans and pushed them down his thighs, releasing his erection to bob in front
of her mouth.

“You of course, Master.” Her gaze flicked down to his cock
before she caught herself and focused again on his chin.

“That’s right.” He rubbed the head of his cock along her
mouth, painting her luscious lips with his pre-come. He would wield his power
until she was so overwhelmed with him there would be no one and nothing else.

Every breath would be filled with his scent, his musk
melting on her tongue. Every thought focused on pleasing
him
. And when
her body was clenched tight, begging for the relief of his cock to ease the
heavy ache, then and only then, when she’d thoroughly and completely given
herself over to his commands, would he allow her to soar in ecstasy, his gentle
caresses proving how much she was cherished. “What you need, want or desire is
of no consequence. This is about obeying me. Pleasuring
me
.”

“Yes, Master.” Her monotone voice clawed at his confidence.

Derek steeled himself against the panic tightening his
chest. This wasn’t really about him. He needed to get Sara to stop thinking and
analyzing so he could expose everything, including the demons possessing her.

“And right now, Sara, I want you to suck my cock.” Derek was
pleased the words came out low and even despite the heavy pounding of his
heart.

Her velvet tongue flitted out, eagerly licking the tip
before sucking the mushroom head into the heat of her mouth. “All of it.” Derek
twisted her hair in his fist, both to encourage her to take him deeper and
offer support as she craned her neck to get a better angle.

With an eagerness he hadn’t anticipated, she sucked harder,
drawing him into her mouth. The sublime pressure of the wet heat surrounding
him sent electric jolts of bliss straight to his balls. He sighed out her name
as his cock bumped the back of her throat and he pulled back. Her tongue flitted
along the underside of his shaft as he slid nearly all the way out of her
mouth. Thrusting her head toward him, she hungrily swallowed his cock again,
opening her throat and allowing him deeper into the silken heat. Derek’s hips
pistoned to the steady suction of her mouth, each thrust forward sinking his
erection into the wet warmth until he was fully enclosed in her mouth, her lips
buried in the halo of his pubic hair. He gripped her hair tighter, holding her
against his body as she sucked relentlessly, milking his dick.

He studied her eyes. Those beautiful sky-blue eyes that had
twinkled with mischief as he’d guided her to the room. The eyes that now stared
blindly at his hips. The eager sparkle of anticipation that had brought out the
Dom in him was now extinguished.

Even on remote control, Sara’s technique was amazing.
Sensual heat bunched in his back and tightened his balls. The sexy slurping
sounds of her mouth being fucked echoed off the walls with his own ragged
gasps. The scent of Sara’s juices wrapped around his nose and his body begged
to fall into the sensations. But he couldn’t.

What she offered was no better than fucking a whore in the
back alleys of the Combat Zone in Boston. An experience he’d never had, even as
a horny fraternity pledge at Wentworth College over a decade ago. And despite
the fact that she’d brought him to the edge of reason, he pulled his cock from
her mouth.

He couldn’t reach her. Obviously, he wasn’t the man she
needed.

“Attila the Hun,” Derek said, frustration and hurt riding on
the words, making them unusually loud.

The startled O of her mouth would have been comical if he
wasn’t so pissed at his own inability to pull her from the darkness of whatever
haunted her.

“Master?”

He shoved his wet cock into his jeans, hastily adjusting
himself as he buttoned and zipped his jeans. “Attila the Hun, Sara. Your safe
word.”

It took only a moment for her to drop her defenses and clear
the haze of detachment, which pissed him off all the more.
He
should
have been able to tear them down. “We’re done here, Sara.” Anger at his own
shortcomings sliced through him, shredding the small bit of confidence that had
brought him to the island. He stomped to the bondage chair, grabbed his T-shirt
and angrily pulled it over his head.

“But I don’t understand.” She pushed up from the bench. “Did
I do something to displease you?”

He focused on tucking his shirt into his jeans. “No, Sara, I
just think—”

Grabbing his forearm, she took him by surprise. He stopped
and stared at her trembling fingers. His gaze traveled up her arm, caught the
heavy pounding of her pulse in her throat before settling on the confusion in
her eyes and furrowed brows.

“Punish me then,” she begged. “I’ll take whatever you think
I deserve. Just don’t leave like this. I can give you whatever you want.”

“The problem is I can’t give you what you
need
.” He
turned and left, praying he was making the right decision, feeling every unshed
tear glistening in her eyes, testing his resolve and ripping at his very soul.

Damn, it stung.

Sara rolled onto her back in the beach chair. The thick
cushions cradled the tender flesh of her ass that still held the marks of her
Master’s punishment. But that pain was nothing compared to the sting of
rejection Derek had dealt her last night. She was still reeling from the blow.

Lying on her private stretch of beach for over an hour, the
morning sun cocooning her in warmth, Sara had been going over and over every
detail of the previous night, coming back to the same conclusion—Derek wasn’t
as inexperienced as Ethan had led her to believe.

A gentle breeze blew off the ocean, cooling her skin and
fluttering the gossamer curtains of the cabana where she hid. She knew she was
being a coward, but she had no desire to run into Derek. No Dom had ever used
her own safe word and walked from a scene. She wasn’t really sure how she was
even supposed to react to that reality.

Sara could deny it all she wanted, but the man had deserted
her, leaving her needy and wanting. It wasn’t even the fact that she’d been
teetering on the edge of orgasm—because,
shit
, the man had known how to
wield a paddle—it was how he’d bumped up against her defenses and had chosen
not to ignore them. No other Dom had pushed the way Derek had, and she’d been
proud her walls had stayed intact. But he would have none of it. Despite her
pleas, the man had left the dungeon because she refused to give him anything
more than her body.

She’d known what he wanted last night when he’d walked away
from her. But Sara was unwilling to trust Derek, or any Dom for that matter.
Oh, she trusted them to keep her safe. Trusted them to push her to her limits
of sublime pain. Even trusted them to be discreet about her fetishes. But she’d
never trust them to strip away her defenses and expose her soul.

Her heart was safely tucked away behind resolute walls of
fear. No one would ever again touch that part of her. She would never again
belong to anyone.
Been there. Done that. Have the token collar to prove it.

Gulls squawked overhead, pulling Sara from her morose
solitude.

“Did someone order breakfast?” Ethan called from the walk.
His rich baritone voice washed over her, warming the chill Derek’s rejection
had left.

“Over here, Ethan,” she called, wondering how many other
guests had the privilege of room service delivered by the manager of XTC
Resorts. Stretching lazily, she worked out the tension in her muscles and
stood.

Ethan’s bare feet carried him up the two stairs and into the
raised cabana. A large basket overflowing with food filled his hands. The white
cotton pants, slung low on narrow hips, billowed around his muscular thighs. He
wore no shirt, and Sara took a moment to enjoy the play of bronzed skin over
sinewy muscle as he set the basket on the small table beside her. Heat flooded
her cheeks when he turned and caught her staring.

Amusement sparked in the ebony depths of his eyes as he bent
and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Like what you see?”

Sara refused to give her friend the satisfaction of
admitting she’d totally been checking him out. “XTC Resorts is a paradise,” she
replied, casually lifting a shoulder with the corner of her mouth. “What’s not
to like?”

“Yeah, whatever.” He laughed as he pulled out a chair and
invited her to sit.

“So, how did I rate your company this morning?” she asked.
“Don’t you have more important things to do than check up on wounded birds?”

The hesitation of Ethan’s unpacking was so brief Sara could
have brushed it off as her imagination. But when he looked at her, she had no
doubt he’d known how last night had ended. “Can’t a guy just want to have
breakfast with a lovely woman?”

“Nice recovery.” She rolled her eyes and shook out her
napkin, laying it across her lap as if it could protect her from the truth.
“Did you and Derek do the whole
Do you have any idea how screwed up that sub
is?
or did the guy just flat-out ask for a refund?”

Setting the basket aside, Ethan settled in the chair across
from her and simply stared. Her dear friend had deserved neither the tone nor
the attitude, but she was feeling grouchy enough to want to take out her
frustration on someone. Ethan just happened to be the only available target and
he knew it.

“I caught sight of him leaving the club by himself last
night.” Ethan spooned fluffy scrambled eggs onto a plate, added some fresh
fruit and a croissant and handed it to her. “And I saw a shaky submissive slink
out thirty minutes later without her collar. Eat.”

Her body responded to his command, automatically picking up
the fork and spearing a strawberry. But her sour stomach rebelled at the thought
of digesting it and she set it back down again. “How did he look?”

“Frustrated. Confused. Disappointed. Pick one.” Ethan dove
into the huge mound of eggs he’d served himself.

“He didn’t look angry?”

“Angry?” Another fork full of eggs stopped halfway to his
mouth. “Why would he be angry? You know better than that, Sara. Nothing you did
or didn’t do in that dungeon would ever make a good Dom angry. And Derek might
not believe it, but he’s one of the best. Why do you think I invited him here
this weekend?” He ate the eggs and poured them both coffee from the ornate
carafe he’d set on the table.

She took the cup he offered and added three packets of sugar
and a heavy dollop of cream. “I thought the Doms you invited this weekend had
come for training.”

“There are all kinds of reasons to need training, not all of
them having to do with inexperience. You should understand that better than
anyone.” He winked as he lifted his cup in a mock toast.

She wanted to be angry. Wanted to rail against what he’d set
her up to do this weekend. “
I
wasn’t the one who was doing the
training
last night, was I?” She fingered air quotes as she spoke. Clarity dawned.

Ethan set down his cup and leaned forward on his elbows, his
fingers steepled in front of his lips. “You can’t hide forever, Sara. I won’t
let you.”

Tears stung the back of her eyes. “It’s not really your
choice, is it, Ethan?”

“You can do this. Let this weekend be a chance for you to
see that there are good guys out there. Let the past go.” He wrapped her hand
in both of his. “History won’t be repeating itself. I won’t let it. Trust me.
Trust Derek.”

“He
did
talk to you.”

“He cared enough to want to know what he’d done wrong and
how to fix it.” Ethan shrugged and sat back. “Yeah, we talked.”

“You told him about Marc and me?”

Ethan flinched as if she’d hit him, and Sara immediately
regretted the angry question.

“You know better than that,” he said evenly. “It’s not my
story to share.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just this… Last night… I…” She
couldn’t push the words past the fear and anger burning in her throat and
bringing tears to her eyes.

“Sara, no one, least of all me, expects you to be able to
completely trust the first Dom who sees your pain. All I’m saying is give it a
try. There’s real love out there if you’d just open your heart to the
possibility.”

A watery laugh bubbled out. “You don’t ask too much, do
you?”

“No more than you’re capable of giving.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Sara, you’re one of the strongest women I know. There
aren’t many who could’ve endured what you did and come out whole on the other
side.”

“I don’t know how whole I am.”

“Come to the Masters’ lodge tonight and prove to yourself
what some of us already know—that you’re ready to put yourself out there.”

“What if I can’t and I disappoint like last night?”

“Don’t misunderstand,
you
didn’t disappoint. On the
contrary, it was your Master who felt he had failed.”

“Derek didn’t fail,” she said quietly.

“Then come tonight and let him prove himself to you.”

“That man has no desire to be in a dungeon with me.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” Ethan’s gaze roamed her face.
“Trust me when I tell you that Derek needs you to be there tonight. Pleasing a
submissive is as much a part of him as that arrogant swagger. Don’t forget who
wields all the power in the dungeon. Your rejection was quite a hit to his
confidence.”

She choked on the coffee she was sipping “
My
rejection?”

“A submissive who offers nothing more than her body to her
Dom rips at the very core and substance of who we are. All the orgasms in the
world aren’t as satisfying as having your sub’s complete trust.”

“I trusted him. I obeyed every command.”

Ethan quirked an eyebrow. “Did you really trust him?” He
grabbed the strawberry off her plate and plopped it in his mouth.

She fell back against her chair, realization pushing away
her confusion. “I gave him my body and not my pain.”

“Bingo. Ding, ding, ding, ding, you win the big stuffed
teddy bear.”

“I’m scared, Ethan. I don’t know if I’m ready to take that
big a step this weekend.”

“You never know until you try.” He shrugged and downed the
last of his coffee. “But it seems to me Derek may be just the guy with the
patience and desire to help you push through.” He leaned forward and took her
hands in his. “No one wants to see you put the past behind you more than me, Sara.
Cut the guy some slack and give him another shot at it. Only this time believe
he’ll be there to catch you.”

“Shit. And this morning I’ve been feeling sorry for myself
that he rejected
me
.”

Ethan laughed. “Derek’s a big boy with a bigger ego. He’ll
recover.”

“Maybe I should go find him.”

“Nah, give both of you some time. Wait until tonight.”

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do until then? Sit and
think about all the ways I’m screwed up?”

“There’s a private lagoon calling your name on the other
side of the island.”

“There’s only so much flogging a gal can take, Ethan. I’d
hate to wear myself out before the main event tonight.”

Ethan rolled his eyes and laughed. “I meant snorkeling. Is
everything about sex with you submissives?”

* * * * *

Sara pulled the red kayak up the sandy beach and out of the
gentle wash of the surf. Though it was only a thirty-minute paddle around the
backside of the island to the private lagoon, it had taken her well over an
hour to get here.

Trepidation and fear had battled her determination to face
her past. She’d turned back nearly as many times as she’d pushed forward. But
stubbornness to finish what had begun had gotten her this far. And now that she
was here, her bare feet shifting nervously in the warm sand, Sara wasn’t sure
why she thought she could take this final step alone.

The secluded bungalow, barely visible through the lush
tropical foliage, had been both her paradise and her hell. It was the purgatory
of memories that Sara had intended to purge when she’d left the main lodge. All
she had to do was go in, slay the dragons causing her nightmares and close the
book on one ugly-ass chapter of her life.

But two years.
Two years of intense therapy. Two
years simply putting one foot in front of the other. Two years battling to
survive the ghost of her late husband had taken its toll.

The manacles Marc had put around her soul imprisoned her as
completely as any physical bindings that had held her captive. If she could
manage this one last task, this one last look at the ugliness Marc had made of
their marriage, then she could banish him once and for all into the dark corner
of her heart where life’s other hard lessons had left their scars.

But the little excursion down memory lane seemed impossible
to face at the moment. She needed to work off a little nervous energy before
braving the bungalow, and a swim in the warm Atlantic seemed to fit the bill.

Feeling the need for a little adventure, she slipped off the
red tankini bathing suit and dropped it on the sand. Though she knew from
experience this secluded cove was usually deserted, Sara felt delightfully
naughty as she grabbed the mask, snorkel and fins from the storage compartment
in the back of the kayak.

The salty breeze danced her hair and slid wantonly over her
skin like a lover’s caress as she walked into the ocean. When she dropped into
the surf on her back, the normally serene water rolled into gentle waves that
cradled and rocked her. Comfortable in the water, Sara easily slipped on her
swim fins and mask, putting the snorkel in her mouth before rolling onto her
stomach.

With practiced kicks of the fins, her thighs rubbed
pleasantly together and water drifted over her breasts, belly and mons as she
headed out into the lagoon. Cool water stroked heated flesh, steepling her
nipples. Despite the heartache that had driven her here, the simple swim had
turned into an erotic experience. Her laugh echoed strangely through the
snorkel at how proud Ethan would be that his paradise caused such salacious
thoughts.

Then again, XTC Resorts tended to keep a person’s libido on
high alert.

As she swam toward the rock outcropping where sea anemone
and fish tended to be plentiful, Sara lost herself in the beauty of the
undersea world. The gentle roll of the ocean lulled her as she watched the sea
fans placidly sway below. She filled her lungs and dove expertly down to check
out the colorful fish darting in and around the coral on the ocean floor
fifteen feet below. She stayed for only a moment before kicking back up,
breaking the surface and blowing the water from her snorkel. Sara laughed at
herself. Despite the years of not working with the equipment, she hadn’t lost
her skill.

She’d learned to snorkel as a child during her vacations in
Cape Cod with her parents. That young girl gliding lazily next to her father
over rocks teaming with sea life had had fanciful dreams of becoming the next
Jacques Cousteau when she grew up. But illness and tragedy had a way of
stealing dreams.