Read Is He Or Isn't He? Online

Authors: John Hall

Is He Or Isn't He? (10 page)

BOOK: Is He Or Isn't He?
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“I feel much better, darling. Talking to you always helps.”

Then why don't you do it more often,
Paige wondered.
I'm your daughter, after all.

Still, it was nice that Camille
did
turn to her. Maybe this could be the start of them rebuilding their relationship. Maybe…

“How are things in New York?” Camille asked, interrupting her thoughts. “Classes just started, right? Junior year or senior year?”

What?! Paige almost dropped her phone. Was Camille for
real?! Did she not know her own daughter was a senior?

“Did you buy some new clothes?”

“New clothes?”

“I meant to say something when you were visiting this summer. You need a new look, Paige. Something less dowdy and more sexy.”

“Sexy?”

“Yes, sexy.”

The warm and fuzzy feelings Paige had started to feel again for Camille were disappearing. Quickly. Now she was starting to get mad. Very mad.

“What's wrong with my wardrobe?”

“Maybe it's an East Coast thing, that conservative look.”

“Are you saying you want me to dress like a hoochie?”

“Of course not! But if my fans saw us together, well, they'd never believe you were my daughter.”

And how likely is that to happen, Mother, when we're so rarely together!

“And you need to do something with your hair,” Camille continued. “It needs more color. Have you considered going red?”

“Red?” Paige squeaked, her throat tight with anger. “You want me to become a redhead?”

“Being a redhead hasn't hurt that young actress with all those hit movies. What's her name? It starts with an L. She's the one who supposedly got breast implants.”

“Do you want me to get those, too? Is that what you're saying? Because if you are then you can go straight—”

Anthony, sensing she might say something she would regret, snatched her phone out of her hand.

“Camille! It's Anthony! How are you? I am
loving
you on the show. Priscilla is being
so
wicked these days!”

Paige grabbed what was left of Anthony's second cupcake off his plate and stuffed it in her mouth while he talked to her mother.

When Anthony finished his conversation, he turned off her phone and gave it back to her.

“Your mother said to tell you she loves you.”

Paige glared at Anthony until he squirmed.

“Okay,” he admitted. “She didn't say it, but she would have if she'd remembered. They were calling her back onto the set.”

“I need another cupcake,” Paige said.

Anthony went to the counter and came back with two more cupcakes, one with chocolate frosting and one with vanilla. Paige chose the vanilla cupcake.

“She makes me so mad sometimes!”

“That's Camille for you.”

“Don't you mean
Priscilla
?” Paige's voice dripped with scorn. “She cares about that stupid character more than she does me!”

“You know that isn't true.”

“Do I?”

“Yes, you do.”

Paige sighed. “I don't want to talk about my mother anymore.”

Paige and Anthony were distracted when a group of teenage guys came into the bakery and stood around the counter, pointing at various desserts.

“Now that's what I call sweet!” Anthony exclaimed.

“Why don't you go over and introduce yourself? Don't tell me you can't figure out which ones are gay and which ones are straight?”

“My gaydar never works when it comes to guys my own age. You know that. Look at the situation we're in with Max.”

“We forgot all about him.”

“For a full five minutes!”

Paige licked the vanilla frosting off her cupcake. “What are we going to do?”

“What can we do? Just keep proceeding according to plan so we can get closer to him and figure out what's what. But I think the next move is yours, Paige. I've laid some groundwork with the movie, but you have to come up with something to test him. Got any ideas?”

“A couple. Don't worry, we're going to figure this out. And when we do, one of us is going to have a boyfriend!”

 

After leaving the Frosted Cupcake, Anthony and Paige headed back to his apartment to do their homework together. When they got there, they found Paolo in the living room, lounging on the couch in a pair of navy blue shorts and a gray tank top, watching TV.

“Are you
still
here?” Anthony grumbled.

“Didn't I tell you?” Paolo gave Anthony a wicked grin. “I'm sleeping over tonight.” He hit the mute button on the remote. “Hey, Paige, don't you think my brother needs a haircut? His hair's getting way too long.”

Paige glanced at Anthony's head. “I suppose he could use a trim.”

“Don't you think he should try something different?
Maybe get a buzz cut?”

“Don't even think about it,” Anthony warned, eyeing his brother nervously. “I held up my part of the deal.”

“What are you watching?” Paige asked.

“Female boxing.”

“Female boxing?!” Paige screamed in outrage. “Are you serious?”

“You've got a problem with female boxing?”

“It's wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!”

Paolo gave Paige an amused smile while putting his feet up on the coffee table. “Why, why, why?”

“Because women shouldn't be going around beating each other up, that's why!”

“Are you saying women can't do the same things that men can do?”

“Of course not! Women can do anything.”

“Then what's your problem with female boxing? Female wrestlers have been around for years.”

“Wrestling is different than boxing.”

“How so?”

“Well, first of all, it's fake! It's scripted. Boxing is real. It's ugly. It's dangerous. People bleed! And boxers have been known to die from injuries they've gotten in the ring. It's just not something a woman should do!”

“This conversation is boring me,” Anthony announced. “I already got my daily dose of Jock 101. I'm going to my room.”

“So, Paige, back to female boxing,” Paolo said. “Are you saying that women should just be pretty things? Taken care of and adored?”

“No, I'm not saying that!”

“Then what are you saying?”

“Boxing is a
male
sport. Plain and simple.”

“Boxing is a game of skill,” Paolo countered. “You have to be one step ahead of your opponent. You have to think on your feet.”

“And if you don't you get a fist in your face! There are some things that women shouldn't be allowed to do and boxing is one of them! What woman in her right mind would want to get pummeled?”

“Maybe the challenge of the sport is in making sure you
don't
get pummeled,” Paolo stated. “Ever think of that?” Paolo didn't allow Paige to answer. “Let me ask you a question. Do you have a problem with male boxing?”

“Huh?”

“Should men not box?”

“If men want to box, they should box.”

“Then why can't women?”

“I just told you why! Weren't you listening?”

“I was listening. I just don't agree with you.”

“And I don't agree with you. I don't want to talk about this anymore!”

“Why? Because you can't back up your argument?”

“No! I think
all
boxing is wrong, alright? Why would anyone want to watch two people beating each other up? Possibly even killing each other! And when it comes to female boxing, the only reason you and all guys like watching is because you want to see two women fighting with each other.”

“That is a plus,” Paolo agreed, taking a sip from his can
of 7-Up. “Hey, the commercial is over. Wanna watch?”

Paige shook her head at Paolo in disbelief. “You can't be serious.”

“Come on, give it a shot,” Paolo urged, patting the seat next to him. “You might change your mind. You might even want to give it a try!”

“Not in this lifetime!” Paige said as the sound came back on the TV. “Enjoy yourself.”

“Don't worry, I will!” Paolo exclaimed. “Whoa! These girls are
hot
!” He started fanning himself with a magazine. “I think I'm going to need some AC to cool off!”

“Your brother is
so
infuriating,” Paige fumed as she stormed into Anthony's bedroom.

“Tell me something I don't know,” Anthony said.

“Sometimes I think he argues with me on purpose.”

“He likes pushing your buttons. And you let him.”

“I do not.”

“Do too.”

“Don't!”

“Do!”

“You're just as bad as your brother!” Paige exclaimed. “Always wanting to get the last word!”

Anthony shrugged. “What can I say? It's a DeMarco family trait. Who would have thought I'd have something in common with my jock brother?”

“T
ell me one more time what a good-bad movie is,” Max said.

It was Saturday night and Anthony had invited Paige and Colleen over to his apartment to watch videos. He'd also invited Max.

Max was the first to arrive.

“A good-bad movie is a movie that's originally made with the intention of being good, yet somehow turns into a disaster. When it's released, it gets horrible reviews and disappears. But then, over the years, it starts to develop a cult following. Even though the movie is bad, it's fun to watch. There's something over-the-top and campy about it. The acting. The dialogue. The directing. Everything! I can't explain it. Once you've seen enough good-bad movies, you'll know what I mean.”

“What are we watching tonight?” Max asked as he plopped down on the couch.

“A camp classic.
Valley of the Dolls
. Have you ever seen it?”

Max shook his head.

“It was made in the late '60s,” Anthony said. “It's based on the best-selling trash novel of all time. I have a copy if you ever want to read it. It's brilliant! Jacqueline Susann wrote it. Anyway, the story focuses on three single gals who try to make it in Hollywood and they become hooked on booze and pills. The pills are called dolls. What's also interesting about the film is the way the characters toss around the word
fag
.”

“What do you mean?”

“They just constantly use that as an insult.”

Max raised his eyebrows, but before he could respond, the doorbell rang.

Shoot! Just when things were starting to get interesting! Anthony cursed whoever was at the door as he went off to answer it. It was Colleen, who was loaded with bags of Chinese takeout. Anthony scowled at her.

“Why the face?” she asked.

“Your timing couldn't be more off,” Anthony whispered, looking over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't overheard. “I was making some progress on the ‘Is he or isn't he?' front. Now I'm back to square one!”

Colleen rolled her eyes, handing Anthony a bag. “Paige filled me in. Don't worry, you can count on me. If I find out anything, you'll be the first to know. Now smile. You're cuter when you do.”

“Well, you did bring food.” Anthony sniffed the air.
“Mmm. Smells great. What did you buy?”

“Egg rolls, spare ribs, three kinds of dumplings, pork fried rice and sesame chicken. We can't have a bad movie night without munchies!”

Anthony headed into the kitchen for plates and forks while Colleen joined Max in the living room. When he came back, Colleen was kneeling in front of the coffee table, opening up white containers. The fragrant aroma of Chinese food filled the air, making Anthony's mouth water.

“Anthony always finds the best bad movies,” Colleen said. “I don't know how he does it. It's like an instinct.”

“It's an instinct most gay guys have,” Anthony said, handing a plate to Colleen and then Max. “I think we're born with it.”

There. He'd said it. Laid his cards out on the table. Until just a few moments ago, he hadn't come out and said to Max, “Hello, my name is Anthony DeMarco and I'm gay.” But now Max knew. Without a doubt.

If Anthony's words had thrown Max, he didn't show it. He continued to fill his plate with Chinese food, while Anthony and Colleen did the same.

“What are some other bad movies that you guys have seen?” Max asked while dipping his egg roll into hot mustard sauce.

“How much time do you have?” Anthony asked. “Seriously. We live for these movies.”

“We've seen
Mommie Dearest
,” Colleen said.

“‘No wire hangers…EVER!!!'” Anthony quoted.


Mahogany
.”

“Oh, God, that one's my all-time favorite!!!” Anthony
turned to Max with an excited look on his face. “Diana Ross is a struggling fashion designer living in the ghetto in Chicago and she becomes an internationally famous model. The best known line of that movie is when she turns her back on love and her boyfriend tells her…”

Anthony turned to Colleen and together they screamed, “Success is NOTHING without someone you love to share it with!!!”

“And let's not forget
Showgirls
,” Colleen said.

The doorbell rang again and Anthony went to answer it while Colleen started telling Max the plot of
Showgirls
. When he opened the front door, he did a double take and took a step back. Then he closed the front door behind him and stepped out into the hallway with Paige.

“Did you dress in the dark?” he hissed.

“What are you talking about?”

Anthony waved his hands in the air. “You look like a frump!”

Anthony couldn't believe what he was seeing. Paige was wearing an oversize NYU sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. And she hadn't done anything with her hair or makeup. She looked like she had rolled right out of bed.

“If we're trying to figure out if Max is gay or straight, this certainly isn't the way to do it.”

“Is that what we're trying to do tonight? I thought we were getting together to watch some videos. You didn't tell me we had an agenda.” Paige shoved a finger in Anthony's chest. “First of all, this is the way I
always
dress when we have bad movie night. Second, I didn't know there was a dress code. You didn't mention one when you called to invite
me over. If I'm not passing inspection, I'll go home.”

Anthony's mouth dropped open. What had gotten into Paige?

“I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry.”

“You should be! There's nothing wrong with the way I look.”

“What are you all worked up about?”

“Nothing. Now can we go inside and watch the movie?”

Anthony hadn't meant what he said. Okay, Paige didn't look her best, but she certainly was no frump. He'd only been kidding with her. But from the way she was walking to his front door, all rushed, it was almost as if she were trying to outrun him. Her cheeks were all red, and the only time her cheeks got red was when she was upset and about to cry.

Anthony touched Paige on the shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

Paige turned around and gave Anthony a smile. “Of course I'm okay!”

No, she wasn't. The smile on her lips was quivering. And her eyes looked moist. “You're not upset with me, are you?”

“Upset? About what?”

“What I just said. Paige, you know I think you're a knockout. It's just that sometimes I feel like you don't want the rest of the world to know.”

Paige gave Anthony a quick kiss on the cheek. “You're sweet. Now come on, let's go inside and watch a bad movie.”

And with those final words, Paige went inside.

After Paige was gone, Anthony remained out in the hallway, trying to figure out what had just happened. Something
was up with his best friend and he was going to find out exactly what it was.

 

Paige had been lying to Anthony.

She
was
upset.

She knew his remarks hadn't been mean. Anthony loved her.

But there was no putting one past him. Anthony could always pick up on her moods and she was in a bad one.

She'd have to confess to him at some point. But not tonight. Tonight she just wanted to forget that this morning she'd turned on her TV and there in living color on
New York Live
was Camille.

Her mother was in New York and she hadn't called to let her know she'd be in town!

At first Paige had been excited. She figured that once Camille was through being interviewed she'd call her and they'd spend the day together.

But Camille never called.

She had stayed in the apartment all day, waiting for the phone to ring, and it never did.

Finally Paige couldn't stand it anymore. She picked up the phone and dialed Camille's cell phone. Naturally, her mother didn't pick up, so Paige left a message:

“So nice of you to make time in your busy schedule for me. I caught you this morning on
New York Live
. What was up with the lighting? You looked awful. All puffy and bloated. Unless it wasn't the lighting. You might want to call a plastic surgeon and see about some repair work. You looked at least ten years older than you actually are.”

Paige had gotten some satisfaction with those final words. She knew Camille would freak out after hearing her message. Good. She cared more about her career and her appearance than her own daughter.

Was it too much to ask that her mother make
some
time in her life for her? She wasn't trying to be unreasonable. She knew Camille had a busy life, but how hard was it to find a way to squeeze her into it?

She'd spent all day feeling sorry for herself, and when Anthony had called to invite her over, she'd dressed without thinking. True, knowing that Max would also be there, she should have dressed to impress, but it was too late now. Now it was time to get over it all. She wasn't going to worry about the way she looked and she wasn't going to think about Camille anymore. Tonight she was hanging out with friends.

“Hey, Paige, come sit next to me,” Max said, patting the spot next to him on the couch.

Paige couldn't help but notice the surprised look on Anthony's face. She'd bet anything that he'd been hoping to sit next to Max. Well, there was nothing she could do about that.

“You like nice and comfortable,” he said as she settled down next to him.

“You don't think I look like a frump?” she asked, reaching for a plate and filling it with pork fried rice. Paige didn't know why she had said that; the words had just slipped out. Sometimes Anthony was such a know-it-all that it was nice to occasionally put him in his place. “Some guys would say I do.”

“It's the perfect outfit for watching videos. Why get all glammed up when we're just staying in on a Saturday night?”

Paige looked directly at Anthony and tried not to smirk.

“I'm with you, Max,” Colleen agreed, who was wearing a neon pink T-shirt and overalls.

“There's nothing wrong with looking nice,” Anthony huffed, sitting down on the floor and aiming the remote at the TV.

The others wouldn't be aware of it, but Paige was sure Anthony had spent hours deciding what to wear. Even though he looked casual in his dark brown cords and light brown suede shirt, she was sure he'd agonized over his outfit.

“I'm sure you're still in the running for the best dressed award from
GQ
,” Paige teased.

Anthony glared at Paige. “Thanks. Now everyone be quiet! It's time to watch the movie.”

 

At first, Anthony was engrossed in watching the movie. But then he noticed that Max and Paige weren't paying much attention to the TV. They were paying attention to each other.

“How come you're using a fork?” Max asked Paige.

“What's wrong with a fork?”

“You can't eat Chinese food with a fork. You have to use chopsticks! Don't you know how?”

“Not really. I can pick the food up, but by the time it reaches my mouth, it falls back onto my plate.”

Anthony gasped. Why, that little liar! She knew how to use chopsticks! She was just playing dumb. Something that he would have done!

“They're easy to use. Here, I'll show you.”

Anthony's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as Max slid behind Paige and wrapped his arms around hers. Then he placed her chopsticks in her hand and scooped up a piece of
chicken, lifting it toward her mouth.

“See? Easy. Nothing to it.”

“Let me try myself.”

Paige tried to use the chopsticks, but she couldn't seem to get the hang of it. Or so she pretended, Anthony noted. She kept picking up rice and vegetables, and just as they reached her mouth, they fell back onto the plate until Max wrapped his arms back around her and guided the chopsticks again.

“Why don't you just feed her?” Colleen suggested, her eyes glued to the TV screen. “It'll take less time.”

Anthony pinched Colleen's leg.

“Ouch!”

He smiled pleasantly. “Sorry. But you know how much I hate talking during a movie.”

And I don't need you giving Max romantic tips!

“Uh-huh,” Colleen said, glaring at Anthony while rubbing her leg.

“Anyone want a fortune cookie?” Max asked.

“I'll take one,” Anthony said.

“Me too,” Paige said.

“Me three,” Colleen chimed in.

“What's your fortune say?” Paige asked after Anthony had cracked open his cookie.

“Mine says I'll find fame and fortune where I least expect it,” Colleen said.

Anthony popped a piece of cookie in his mouth and stared directly at Paige before reading off the slip of paper from his cookie. “Mine says I'll be stabbed in the back by my best friend.”

Two hours later, the movie was over.

“So what did you think, Max?” Anthony asked.

Max rubbed his eyes. “I'm still in shock.”

“What was your favorite scene?”

“I only get to choose one? Let's see.” Max thought for a minute. “I guess it would have to be the scene where Neely and Tony have their singing duet in the mental hospital.”

“Let's not forget the scene where Neely rips off Helen's wig and flushes it down the toilet,” Colleen added.

“Is anyone up for another movie?” Anthony asked. “We could keep with the Hollywood theme and watch
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
. It's an unofficial sequel and it's sooo bad it makes the original look like a classic!”

Colleen stretched and yawned. “I'm kind of tired and I've got a dance class early tomorrow morning. I'm going to call it a night.”

“Me too,” Max said, getting to his feet.

“I guess that just leaves you and me, Paige,” Anthony said.

BOOK: Is He Or Isn't He?
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