Is He Or Isn't He? (23 page)

“L
ooks like you're stuck with me until your date arrives,” Anthony said to Max when the auction was over. “I called Paige and left a message on her cell. I'm sure she'll call back once she's able to.”

“Not a problem.” Max handed Anthony a wicker picnic basket. “My dad made these up for all the bachelors. I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I was so nervous about not getting a bid that I didn't eat anything at all today. Why don't we have a picnic in Central Park and Paige can join us once her awards show is over.”

It was an unseasonably warm day, and it was still light out, so the idea of a picnic in the park sounded fun.

“Don't go getting a swelled head because you went for so much money,” Anthony said as they walked to the park.

“What was the deal with that?”

Anthony filled Max in on the twins' career plans and how they thought he could be of use to them.

“Really?” Max laughed. “Where'd they ever get a stupid idea like that?”

Anthony bit his tongue. Max and Felix were friends, and so far, Max was unaware of Felix's slimier side. Anthony didn't want to be the one to expose it to him. He shrugged. “Who knows? At least Paige had a good reason for wanting to win you.”

“She did?”

“Remember when we were talking about her a couple of weeks ago? How I said I thought she might like you? Well, I asked her and she does. A lot. If you were to ask her out on date, she'd probably say yes.”

Max pointed to an oak tree whose branches were filled with yellow, orange, gold and red leaves. “This looks like a good spot.” He reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a red-and-white-checked blanket, spreading it on the ground. Then he started unpacking sandwiches, salads and drinks.

“Do you want turkey or ham?” he asked.

“Turkey.” Anthony accepted a sandwich as he sat down on the blanket across from Max. “Did you hear what I said? Paige likes you. She wants to go out with you. Aren't you going to say something?”

Max removed the tie of his tuxedo and loosened the buttons of his collar. Then he bit into his ham sandwich and started chewing. “What do you want me to say?” he asked after swallowing. “That I like her, too?”

“Do you?” Anthony asked, holding his breath as he waited to hear Max's answer.

This was it. The moment he and Paige had been waiting for…

Max sighed. “Paige is great, Ants. Don't get me wrong. But I'm just not that into her.”

“You don't have
any
romantic interest in her?”

“None.”

“Not even a little?”

“She's a friend. A good friend. But that's it. Nothing more.”

“And what about me?” Anthony asked, forcing himself to ask the question, not looking at Max and playing with the crust of his sandwich, pulling off bits and tossing them to the pigeons in the park. “Am I a friend?”

Max gave Anthony a smile as he put a hand on his arm. “You're more than just a friend. Don't you know that?”

Hearing those words, Anthony's heart began beating furiously.
I did not just hear those words. No, it couldn't be. It was too much to hope for.

Max took another bite of his sandwich. As he did, a dab of mustard fell on his chin.

“You've got some mustard on your chin,” Anthony said.

Max grabbed a napkin and wiped his chin. “Gone?”

“Nope.”

Max wiped again. “Gone?”

“Still there.” Anthony reached for a napkin. “Here, I'll do it.” He leaned over to wipe Max's chin and as he did, started to fall into Max's lap. As he lost his balance, Max's arms wrapped around him, breaking the fall. When Max caught him in his arms, Anthony couldn't help himself. His own arms wrapped around Max, at first just to steady himself.
But as he tightened his grip and found himself drawn closer to Max, he was unable to resist the pull of attraction. The desire to do what he'd been wanting to do from the day he first met Max.

He kissed him.

For real.

It wasn't a rehearsed kiss from out of a script.

It was a kiss meant to show Max how much he meant to him. How much he wanted him.

Pressing his lips to Max's, Anthony poured all the feelings he had been keeping locked up inside himself into the kiss, wanting Max to know how much he cared for him.

But instead of Max kissing him back, he pulled away from Anthony's embrace, staring at him with wide, shocked eyes.

“What's wrong?” Anthony asked, starting to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Uh-oh. This wasn't good. Not good
at all.
Max wasn't supposed to be looking at him this way. Like he was some psycho killer in a horror movie. He was supposed to be smiling at him with joy in his eyes and then he was supposed to take him into his arms and kiss him back.

“What are you doing?” Max asked.

“Kissing you.”

“I know that, but why?”

“Because…I wanted to. Paige isn't the only one who likes you, Max. In case you haven't figured it out, I like you, too. A lot.” Anthony looked away and then back at Max. If there was ever a time when he was going to tell Max his feelings, this was it.

“What?” Max asked.

“I like you a lot,” Anthony whispered. “I have feelings for you. Strong feelings.”

At first Max didn't say anything. Then he ran a hand through his hair. Once, twice, before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Anthony thought he looked even more gorgeous than usual. Then Max looked into Anthony's face and in that moment, Anthony
knew
. Max was straight.

“Anthony, I'm not like you. I'm into girls, not guys.”

Anthony knew what he'd heard, but he didn't want to believe it. He wasn't ready to believe it. Not yet. “You're telling me you're straight?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

Anthony's head was spinning. Where did he begin?!

“You can't be straight. You just can't! It's impossible.”

“Huh?”

“What about that kiss at my apartment?”

“What about it?”

“You were into it.”

“Sure I was. So?”

“So? So? So?! How can you say ‘So?' when you just admitted you were into it?”

“I was acting. My character, Michael, was into the kiss, but I wasn't.”

“You were acting?”

“Yes, acting. I was pretending that I was kissing a girl.”

He was pretending he was kissing a girl. Not you. NOT YOU!!! He hadn't been kissing me because he wanted to, or because he was attracted to me. He'd been acting. Acting!

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You're pathetic, Anthony. Paolo
tried to warn you, but you wouldn't listen. You thought you knew everything. You thought Max was interested in you, but he wasn't. He wasn't!

At that moment, all he wanted to do was run away and hide. He wanted to scream; he wanted to cry; he wanted to feel sorry for himself, but he wasn't going to. Oh, no. No public displays of self-pity. No breakdowns. Now was the time for answers so he could put this whole horrible mess behind him. Later, when he was home alone, he could fall to pieces.

“A few minutes ago, you said you weren't into Paige,” Anthony said. “That she was a friend. But when I asked you if I was a friend, you said I was more than that. What did you mean?”

“You're also my director. What did you think I meant?”

“I thought you were interested in me,” Anthony said, deciding not to beat around the bush anymore. “You know. Like a boyfriend. I thought you were gay.”

“Why would you think that?” Max asked, his voice puzzled. “I never said I was gay.”

“And you never said you were straight, either!” Anthony snapped. “Pardon my confusion!” Anthony got up from the picnic blanket. “You must think I'm a joke, don't you?”

“I don't think you're a joke,” Max said, as he got to his feet. “You made a mistake, that's all. It's no big deal.”

Anthony ignored his words. “I'm the poor deluded gay guy who develops a crush on a straight guy, right?”

“I didn't mean to mislead you. I didn't even know I was misleading you! I thought you knew I was straight! Anthony, you're one of the best friends I've made since moving to New York.”

“That's a laugh! Best friends tell each other things. You've never told me one personal thing about yourself. You hardly talk about your life in California and you never mentioned a boyfriend or a girlfriend.”

“You never asked me!”

“You never gave me a chance! You want to know why? Because
you
never once asked
me
one personal thing about my life. You knew I was gay and you never asked me what it was like. You never asked me if I'd ever had a boyfriend or if there was anyone at school who I was interested in. You never asked me
anything
! You always kept your guard up and you always kept people at a distance. Me. Paige. Even Felix!”

“I didn't mean to do that. It's hard being the new kid.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? How about feeling sorry for me? Do you think it's easy being gay?” Anthony demanded. “It's not! And it's not something that's easy to talk about. At least not at first. All those weeks when I was trying to figure out if you were gay or straight, I wondered if maybe I should just ask you, but I was afraid you wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore. That if you were straight, you'd be weirded out because I had feelings for you, and if you were gay, you wouldn't have feelings for me. I was in a lose-lose situation!”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, guess what, Max? You did.”

Max shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. “Would it help if I said I was sorry? Because I am. Your friendship means a lot to me, Anthony. I hope we can still be friends. Can we?”

Anthony couldn't believe Max's words. That was a switch.
Max was supposed to be the one who didn't want to be friends anymore. He wasn't supposed to be wondering if Anthony no longer wanted to be friends with him.

Anthony didn't know how to respond to Max's question. How would he be able to face him knowing he'd made such a huge fool of himself? Would he ever be able to forget this horrible, embarrassing day? So much for his gaydar! One thing he did know, he was never going on a picnic again! Or putting mustard on a sandwich!

“I can't answer that question now,” Anthony said. “Ask me again in a couple of weeks.”

“I will,” Max promised. “And if you still don't have an answer, I'll ask you again.”

“I better go,” Anthony sighed.

“Are you going to be okay?” Max asked, concern in his voice.

He was not going to cry! Maybe later, when he was at home. But not now, in front of Max!

“Sure, I'll be fine,” he said, keeping his voice steady.

“We're still filming the movie next Thursday, right?”

The movie?! Oh, no. The movie!!!

“I still want to do it, Anthony. Do you?”

“Yes, I do,” Anthony answered without hesitation. And he did. There was no way he was going to jeopardize his chances of getting into UCLA. Although, in preparation of the kiss, he was going to make sure he ate an onion and garlic sandwich for lunch that day. Maybe breakfast, too. “I'll call you the night before filming.”

And then Anthony left Max in the park and headed to the Frosted Cupcake.

P
aige breezed into the Frosted Cupcake, where she found Anthony sitting at their usual couch. “I got your message and came as soon as I could. My phone was turned off during the show.” She looked at the empty cupcake wrappers in front of Anthony. “How many have you eaten so far?

“Two,” Roger said, placing another chocolate cupcake in front of Anthony. “And he's been inhaling them, not eating them. He still won't tell me what's wrong. Maybe you can coax it out of him.”

“Remember Max?” Paige asked.

Roger frowned. “Max?”

“Our crush? The guy in the photo we showed you.”

“Oh, right. Him. The cutie.”

“We finally got an answer to our question.”

“Question?” Roger scratched the side of his head with his
pen. “Sorry, but I feel like I've stepped into the middle of a movie.”

“‘Is he or isn't he?'”

“Ah!” Roger said, his face lighting up with understanding as he gazed at Anthony. “He's straight?”

“Straight,” Anthony said.

Paige sat next to Anthony on the couch while Roger went to take another order. “How are you holding up?”

“My life is over!” Anthony wailed, resting his head on Paige's shoulder. “I've struck out twice in the romance department this year. First with Ian and now with Max.”

“If it's any consolation, I struck out with Max, too.”

“But at least you had a fighting chance with him!”

“Did I?” Paige shook her head. “I don't think so. We never really knew Max, did we? Sure, he was fun to hang out with, but it was like he was keeping everyone at a distance. I'm not just talking about you and me. It's like he thought he was better than everyone else at Peppington Prep. Did you notice how he never belonged to any particular clique? He just coasted from one to another. And he was always throwing around his father's money. It was like he was trying to buy everyone's friendship instead of just being himself.”

“He was the new kid,” Anthony pointed out. “That's what new kids do. He was trying to fit in.”

“Don't defend him! I was the new kid once, too, and you went out of your way to become friends with me. So did Colleen and Bianca and Rachel. We tried to do the same thing with Max and he wouldn't let us. Plus, he really wasn't such a catch.”

“Then why were we drooling over him for so many weeks?”

“Temporary insanity?”

“Seriously.”

“Okay, okay, we were blinded by his cuteness and he could be thoughtful on occasion. But he also had a lot of faults.”

“Like?”

“I told you how competitive he was when we were playing Monopoly. It was only a game, but from the way he was playing, you would have thought it was for real money.”

“Did I ever tell you he wore socks with holes in them?”

“No!”

“I always noticed in gym class when he was putting on his sneakers. His big toe would always stick out. And they reeked!”

“Oh my god! So that's where that odor was coming from!”

“What are you talking about?”

“When we were playing Trivial Pursuit on Saturday afternoon in the Hamptons, all of a sudden there was this horrible odor in the sun room. We thought maybe a skunk had passed and sprayed the side of the house—we had one of the windows open a crack—but it had to be Max's feet! He must have taken his shoes off under the table.”

Anthony started laughing hysterically. “Maybe we should start calling him Stinky!”

“And did you ever notice how girly his handwriting was?”

“Yes! He definitely dotted with hearts!”

“That's debatable.”

“Trust me, they were hearts.”

“And he was moody.”

“Moody?”

“You never noticed? Whenever he'd get mad or something was bothering him, he wouldn't tell you. He'd just sulk like a spoiled brat. Who needs that? If I wanted a spoiled brat, I'd baby-sit.” Paige put a hand on Anthony's arm. “Feeling better?”

“Much now that you're here.”

“Me, too.”

In the message he'd left, Anthony had given Paige a recap of everything that had happened in the park, including Max's rejection of her as well. Misery loves company, right? Although Paige didn't look miserable at all. She looked happy. Very happy. Hmmm. Something was going on.

“How was the awards dinner?” he casually asked.

“It was fun.”

“Fun? When I think of Paolo I don't think of the word ‘fun.'”

“Well, it was. And it didn't cost us six thousand dollars. Were you crazy bidding that much for Max?”

Anthony shrugged. “Who can put a price on love?”

“In this case, we can!”

“Relax. Colleen's mother is paying for it.”

“Thank God!”

Anthony squinted at Paige. “Is it my imagination, or are you glowing?”

Paige pulled out her compact and inspected her face. “Am I really glowing?”

Anthony gasped as he finally figured out what was going on. “Paige! Don't tell me my brother
kissed
you?”

Paige snapped her compact shut. “No, he didn't kiss me, but he did ask me out on a date!”

Anthony's eyes lit up. “He did?”

“Yes, he did. After I listened to the message you left about Max. And you know what? I'm glad he did! Who cares about Max? Yes, I'm disappointed that he wasn't interested in me, but even if we had dated, in the end things probably wouldn't have worked out.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Think about it. Max wants to be actor. He was pretending with both of us and not letting either one of us see who he really was. For a relationship to work, you really have to know the person you're involved with. Otherwise it's never going to last.”

“So you think Pow is boyfriend material?”

Paige mulled over Anthony's question. For years Paolo had always been Anthony's older brother. Until recently, she'd never thought of him as anything other than that. But in the last few days she'd discovered that
he
didn't think of her as Anthony's best friend. He thought of her just as Paige. Someone to laugh with. To argue with. To talk to. And maybe even more.

At that moment, Paige realized something. Sometimes what you're looking for is right under your nose and you don't even know it.

“I think Paolo is excellent boyfriend material,” she said. “But ask me again after our first date.”

“Oh my god!” Anthony gasped.

“What?”

“It just occurred to me that you could wind up being my future sister-in-law!”

Paige rolled her eyes. “You are
such
a drama queen.”

“And on your wedding day, you wouldn't have to worry about me wanting to kiss your groom!”

Paige laughed. “Let's take things one date at a time.” She gave Anthony a hug. “Have I told you lately that I'm so lucky you're my best friend?”

Anthony hugged Paige back. “And have I told you lately that I'm lucky you're mine? Who needs boyfriends when we have each other?”

Just then Roger arrived with two cups of hot chocolate, placing them on the table in front of the couch.

“We didn't order these,” Anthony said.

“I know. Compliments of me. Having a broken heart sucks.”

“Thanks, Roger,” Paige said. “That's really thoughtful of you.”

“Not a problem.” Roger reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out two concert tickets, holding them in front of Anthony's face. “Here's something else that might cheer you up. They're for this Friday night. Wanna go?”

Anthony's eyes widened with glee as he saw the name of the performer on the tickets. It was his favorite pop princess. “I love her! How did you get tickets? This show has been sold out for months!”

“I have my ways. So, you didn't answer my question. Wanna go?”

“It's sweet of you to try and make me feel better, Roger, but wouldn't you rather take one of your glamazons?” Anthony asked, biting into a cupcake. He glanced around the bakery and was shocked to discover no glamazons in sight. Huh. That was a first. “You're guaranteed a better
time if you take one of them.”

Roger gave him a confused look. “What's a glamazon?”

Anthony waved a hand while munching on a cupcake. “You know. One of your girlfriends. Tall, thin, leggy, big chest, long hair. The ones who look like they moonlight as supermodels.”

Roger began laughing hysterically. “You thought those were my girlfriends? Are you serious?”

“Weren't they?”

Roger kept laughing. In fact, he was laughing so hard, his face started turning red. “No! I'm part of the tutoring program at my high school. Those glamazons are from our cheerleading squad. I was only helping them pull their grades up.”

“They weren't your girlfriends?” Anthony asked, confusion in his voice.

Roger leaned over Anthony's hot chocolate and gave him an extra blast of whipped cream. “You and I are two of a kind,” he whispered into Anthony's ear. “If you know what I mean.”

Anthony started choking on his cupcake while an open-mouthed Paige started pounding him on the back.

“You're
gay
?” Anthony asked between coughs.

Roger nodded. “Yep. As gay as you are.” He stuck the tickets back into his pocket. “Let me know by Friday if you want to go to the concert. You know where to find me. If you can't make it, we'll rent some scary DVDs. You said we were going to do that some night, remember?”

Roger then gave Anthony a wink before heading to another table.

“He's not straight,” Anthony said to Paige in stunned disbelief. “He's gay. Roger is
gay
.”

“Yes, I heard,” Paige said. “I was sitting right here.”

“I don't believe it. Roger is gay and he wants to go out with me.” Anthony gasped. “Roger is interested in
me
. He wants to go out with me! All this time he's been right under my nose and I didn't have a clue! How could I have been so blind?”

“You jumped to a conclusion. Like you did with Max.”

“Max?” Anthony asked. “Who's Max? I don't know anyone named Max. I only know the name Roger!”

“Does this mean you've got plans for Friday night? We were supposed to go to the movies, remember?”

“Get Paolo to take you. I've got a date with Roger!”

“I have to tell you something,” Paige said to Anthony, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “And I'm only telling you this because I love you, so listen closely, okay?”

“Yes?” Anthony asked, his eyes glued on Roger, as if he was afraid he might disappear. “What is it?”

“You really need to get your gaydar checked out!” Paige laughed. “For months you've had a hottie like Roger totally into you and you didn't even know it!”

“Okay, okay, you don't have to rub it in! So I'm not perfect.”

“But Roger is,” Paige said, watching him walk across the bakery. “He's so cute!”

Anthony licked a bit of frosting off his upper lip and grinned at Paige. “Isn't he?!”