Isle of Sensuality (14 page)

* * * *

Caitlyn’s eyes felt like they were burning. She inhaled deeply to keep the tears at bay. God, how stupid had she been? The last two days with Jake, she’d allowed herself to fall deeper in love with him, believing that he wasn’t who she’d initially thought. In truth, he wasn’t, not completely.

Now she understood why he only dated women briefly and didn’t get too close to anyone. He’d been shouldered with the pain of losing his parents when he was so young, then he’d taken on the responsibility of two young boys and the family business.

Caitlyn couldn’t blame him for valuing his freedom. He’d had to deal with so much in his life. As much as she had. Although Caitlyn didn’t want freedom, she wanted someone to share her life with, someone to support her and stand by her side like she’d stand by theirs.

She wouldn’t put that on Jake; it wouldn’t be fair and would only result in her heartbreak. It was time for Caitlyn to lock her feelings for him away and get back to the basics. They only had a few weeks left, and she could either spend it pining over a future they would never have, or she could enjoy the time she had left with him.

“I’m going to get dressed,” Caitlyn said. She was glad when her voice didn’t waver and show the tumult of grief inside.

When she returned to the kitchen, dressed in a lime sundress, she felt better able to keep her emotions in check. After all, wasn’t she the one who had suggested their relationship only be just about sex? It felt so long ago now, but she hadn’t thought then that Jake was her Mr. Right. Turned out he wasn’t, just for different reasons.

Caitlyn forced a smile on her face and slid into the free chair at the pine breakfast bar. “This looks great.”

The table for two held a massive salad bowl, a plate of sliced chicken breast and Italian ham, a jug of iced tea, and two sugared doughnuts. Pity she’d lost her appetite, because otherwise she’d have wolfed down the lot.

Jake used tongs to fill her plate with salad, before he served himself. “It’s no omelet, but it will do.” He grinned and a rush of warmth filled her chest.

Caitlyn forced herself to pick up her fork. She stabbed a lettuce leaf, popped it into her mouth, and chewed. He’d covered the salad in an olive oil and cracked black pepper dressing—her favorite. A lump rose in her throat as she tried to swallow. Caitlyn almost choked.

When she was sure the food had made its way down the correct tube, she announced, “I think I’ll be okay to start filming tomorrow.”

Truth was, Amanda had sent her an excited text today confirming that she had completed most of the designs. She’d even sent through pictures and, Caitlyn had to admit, her sister had an amazing talent. She didn’t want to miss the show.

Jake dropped his cutlery on his plate with a clatter. “Caity, you
drowned
just over forty-eight hours ago. You can’t just start work again.” He looked at her like she’d lost her mind.

“I hit my head on a boat and swallowed a little water. Besides, I have to make it to LA for Amanda’s show.”

Jake’s full lips pursed for a moment and heat quivered at the pit of her stomach. How she’d missed those lips on hers the past two days.

“See how you feel tomorrow. If worst comes to worst, we can take time off to fly to LA. Sean will understand.”

We
. Caitlyn swallowed as her heart shot up to her throat. Why did he have to speak to her like they were
together
. It was hard enough trying to pretend this was no more than a fling to herself, now that she knew she loved him. Now he was planning trips to LA with her. Although that was possibly an excuse to put off going back to London and facing the arguments with his brothers he’d mentioned.

“Okay.” Tomorrow she’d be fine. Caitlyn was fine today, though her head still hurt where she’d hit the boat. “Are you staying tonight?” she asked, hoping his answer was no. She needed to get a good night’s sleep so she would be able to convince him that she felt better tomorrow. Last night she’d been so racked with guilt knowing he was sitting up watching her on the hard armchair at the side of her bed, she barely slept a wink.

“I promised Sean I’d go over to watch the game. I can cancel.” Jake shrugged.

She wondered if he was even into sports. Deciding it was probably better if she knew as little about him as possible, Caitlyn assured him he should go and that all she’d probably do was sleep.

When he left a few hours later, she paced the villa manically, straightening furniture and wiping down an already spotless kitchen. Anything to keep her mind off her newfound feelings for Jake. When the obsessive cleaning proved to be useless, Caitlyn dug out her phone and called Amanda, hoping her sister’s no-breathing-required stream of chatter would drone the thoughts of Jake out. Amanda answered on the first ring.

“Cait! I’m so glad you called. I’ve just had my designs appraised by the organizer of the fashion show today and guess what?” As usual, Caitlyn didn’t have to chime in, Amanda went on without pause. “He said he
loved
them. Can you believe it?”

Caitlyn grinned, the first genuine smile she had all day. “Of course I can, I saw the pictures you texted me. Well done, Amanda!”

The remainder of the conversation went from preparations for the show, to how Kale was coping in his new nursery. Caitlyn missed her two-year-old nephew as much as she missed her sister. Amanda assured her that they both missed her just as much.

But even with the distraction of finding out new words Kale had learned, Caitlyn still couldn’t help pining over Jake and wondering what he was up to. She missed him, which was crazy because he’d been with her for over fifty hours straight. She felt like he’d taken a piece of her—one of the best bits—with him. Caitlyn wondered what on earth she was going to do when it came time to say goodbye for good.

* * * *

“I see you and Caitlyn are getting serious.”

Jake almost choked on the beer he was drinking. After coughing frantically for a moment, he looked up to see Sean was laughing. “We’re not serious.” Jake’s voice wheezed out and he coughed again to clear the last of the beer from his lungs.

“Come on, man,” Sean persisted. “You’ve spent the last, what, three days over at her villa playing Florence Nightingale. You don’t do that for a chick you’re not serious about.”

It wasn’t like that. Not at all. Jake had taken care of her because he cared about her and Caitlyn had no one else to do it. Sean was being an ass. “Caitlyn and I are friends. I’d do the same for you.” The words sounded like a lie even to his own ears.

“Not buying it. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. There’s been something going on for weeks. I’m not an idiot, Jake. I’m just surprised you’ve stuck with her this long.” Sean chuckled again.

Jake’s hackles rose. “What the hell are you on about? Why are you surprised I’ve been seeing someone for two months?”

After he’d demanded the explanation, Jake realized he probably should have denied the fact they were together. Caitlyn didn’t want anyone to know, which still irked him, but as they’d both agreed it would be no more than a short affair, he had agreed. Still, Sean wouldn’t blab. He was Jake’s friend and owed him huge for working on this movie.

“The way the papers tell it, you have a different woman in your bed every week. I just figured two months would be a personal record.”

Jake didn’t usually give a damn about what the press said. He didn’t read the tabloids anymore or magazines. If they wanted to print garbage about him, then let them. Everyone had to make money, right? He took another swig of beer and thought that if Sean, one of his best friends, saw him like that, did Caitlyn? For the first time in his life, he felt the need to explain himself.

“I don’t sleep with all the women I take out. I like female company, who doesn’t? But I’m not Hugh Hefner. If I have a brief relationship with a woman, I stick with her until the attraction runs its natural course. Don’t believe everything you read in the papers.”

Sean kept his eyes focused on the hockey game on the wide screen television before them. “Sure, Jake. Whatever you say. My lips are sealed.” The corners of Sean’s mouth hitched until one of the players slammed the puck into the net and then he swore at the screen.

Hockey wasn’t really Jake’s game. He preferred good old, premier league football, but it had been good to get some guy time before he returned to Caitlyn’s villa.

Jake sunk back into the leather sofa and stared at the television until the players were no more than multi-colored dots, whizzing from one end to the other. What Sean said was bugging him more than he’d let on. For almost three days, Caitlyn had been the center of his attention. Never in his life—not even with Sarah—had he spent so much time with one person. The fact that he still wasn’t bored was wearing on him. Shouldn’t he at least be bored of her now? After all, other than his first relationship, this was the longest he’d ever been with a woman.

Instead, the attraction grew deeper, seeping right into his bones. Every time they made love and he watched Caitlyn’s eyes fill with euphoria, he only wanted more. Wanted to see that look in her eyes again and again. Jake shook his head. Must be the effects of Brazil, maybe even the guilt over what he’d have to convince his brothers to do. Either way, Caitlyn was proving to be a great distraction and Jake did enjoy her company.

“How’s the co-star doing anyway?” Sean asked a while later when the game had finished.

“She’s doing better.”

Well enough to want to go back to work anyway.

A spike of irritation hit Jake hard and he frowned. What was bugging him so much about Caitlyn going back to work? She was much better than she had been, he could see she had more strength and color in her cheeks. Plus, her voice didn’t sound as scratchy as it had.

He realized, with a start, that it was probably the same thing that had made him say he’d go to LA with her. Jake wasn’t ready for their time to be up yet. With every other woman, the spark had burned out long before now, but with Caitlyn there was a white-hot flame which burned brighter by the day. Maybe it was because he’d been her first. Maybe he just hadn’t met someone as laid-back and as easy to be with as Caitlyn was. Maybe he was losing his marbles.

“So we can resume filming in a day or two?” Sean asked, breaking him out of his reverie.

“Caitlyn wants to start back tomorrow.”

It pained Jake to say it, but his growing attraction for her was starting to gnaw at him. Maybe if they had an ‘end date’ he’d be able to burn out the fire once and for all. Then all he’d have to deal with was his brothers.

“Great. I’ll give her a call in the morning. Unless you want to text me when you speak to her tonight?” Sean flashed him a knowing grin.

“I won’t see her tonight.” Actually, he’d planned to go straight over after the game, but now he wasn’t sure that was the best idea. In a few weeks, he would be going back to London and would probably never see her again.

The last three days had been so intense he’d barely slept. Caitlyn’s health was a constant worry like lead balls in his gut. They had to get used to spending time apart, so it wouldn’t feel so hard after they said goodbye.

And they had to say goodbye. After all, Caitlyn deserved someone who could love her with all his heart. Jake knew his heart had lost too much to ever heal enough and give her what she needed. She was better off without him, no matter how much Jake wanted her to stay with him.

Chapter 10

The following weeks passed by far too quickly for Caitlyn’s liking. It seemed Sean and the others were keen to get filming tied up so they could get to work on editing. Tonight was her last night on the island. Tomorrow, she’d be going back to LA. Back to life without Jake. The thought made Caitlyn’s stomach fill with nausea.

“Okay, you’re ready, Caitlyn,” Julie announced.

Caitlyn focused on her reflection in the mirror and gasped. Her heart-shaped face looked angular and her eyes seemed huge. A brush of pink skimmed cheekbones which looked higher and more defined than they had before. Caitlyn had to admit, Julie was a genius with a makeup pallet.

“Wow, thanks. I look…” Caitlyn couldn’t even think of a good word to describe herself. For the last few weeks, she’d looked hollow and pale. With her appetite almost non-existent and exhaustion being a constant state she found herself in, Caitlyn thought that perhaps drowning had taken more out of her than she thought.

“You look amazing. I’m sure Jake will think so too.”

Caitlyn’s cheeks heated and she rose from the chair and turned away to hide her embarrassment. It seemed everyone there had noticed that there was something going on between them, but as tonight was the last night, Caitlyn wasn’t going to confirm anything. In less than twenty-four hours she’d have to say goodbye to Jake for good. Her empty stomach twisted and another roll of nausea washed over her. Caitlyn inhaled deeply, willing the sickness to subside.

“I have to go and get dressed.” Caitlyn said.“I’ll see you at the party. Oh, and Julie, thank you for doing this for me. I really appreciate it.” Julie wasn’t working tonight, in fact no one was. She’d offered to do Caitlyn’s hair and makeup, knowing what a royal mess Caitlyn often made of it—when she bothered to try, that is.

“No problem. Try and eat something before you leave. You look a little thin, Caitlyn.”

Caitlyn assured Julie she would and the girl left her alone in her villa to get ready. Sean was throwing an extravagant party for the whole of the cast and crew at the magnificent villa where she and Jake had filmed the love scene that felt like forever ago. She walked over to the bed and picked up the white, silk gown Amanda had designed for her.

A slash of pain whipped across her heart when she thought of leaving tomorrow. Caitlyn wanted tonight to be perfect, a memory she could keep with her for the rest of her life. Already, she’d gathered little snippets of happiness to take with her back to LA, but she wanted tonight to outshine them all. That way, when the nightmares from her childhood crept in, she’d have this night to look back on. A memory of pure, euphoric happiness to give her hope.