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Authors: Ernest Hill

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BOOK: It's All About The Moon When The Sun Ain't Shining
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“I mean it,” I said. “I'm not playing with you.”
She looked at me, and I saw her eyes water again.
“Maurice,” she said, “how you gon' sit here and talk to me about not supporting you. Hell, I been supporting you for the last four years. But Maurice, this is my life too. And I'm tired of not having nothing. Now, you need to be a man and get a job and think about us if you want to be with me.”
“You telling me I can't go to law school?”
“You a grown man,” she said. “I can't tell you what to do. Go where you want to. Just don't expect me to be here when you get back.”
“Oh, I see,” I said. “If I go, it's going to cause problems between us.”
“If you go,” she said, “ain't gon' be no us.”
“I can't pass up this opportunity,” I said.
“And I can't wait no more,” she said in a voice laced with finality.
Chapter Ten
W
e finished lunch and agreed to continue the conversation later that evening after we had both calmed down. I walked Omenita to her car and kissed her good-bye and headed back to work. I made it back to the diner just before one and when I got there Jake, Daddy, and Reuben were still sitting at the little table in the corner talking. They had finished eating and were simply waiting for their lunch break to end. I looked at the clock. We still had about ten minutes left so I joined them at the table. I sat next to Reuben; Daddy and Jake sat across from us.
“Had a good lunch, son?” Daddy asked.
“Yes, sir,” I said.
“Got so busy this morning that I didn't have a chance to ask you about your trip. How did it go?”
“Went alright,” I said.
“Did your mama go to work?”
“No, sir. She went home.”
“Didn't walk in this cold, did she?”
“No, sir,” I said. “Danielle dropped me off then took her home.”
I saw Jake looking at me as if he was trying to figure out who I was talking about. I started to avert my eyes but before I could I saw Jake's lips part and I saw his mouth open, then I heard his deep, surly voice addressing me. “That's Mr. John's daughter, ain't it?” he asked me.
“Yes, sir,” I said.
“Had 'im playing chauffeur this morning,” I heard Daddy say.
“Well,” Jake said, “a man got to do what a man got to do.”
“I reckon,” Daddy said.
“It wasn't like that,” I said. “She was nice. Even offered to pay me.”
“You didn't let her, I hope,” Daddy said.
“No, sir,” I said, “but she did lasso me into lunch.”
“You gon' go?” Daddy asked.
“Yes, sir,” I said. “Don't guess I have much choice.”
“Well now you watch yourself,” Jake said. “Them white girls is real friendly. And if a fellow ain't aware of that fact, he can wind up with mo' trouble than he know what to do with.”
“Just lunch,” I said. “That's all.”
“Well,” Jake said, “maybe. And then again, maybe not.”
“Aw, Jake,” I heard Reuben say, “what the hell you talking about now?”
“Just trying to help the boy,” Jake said. “That's all.”
“I might be wrong,” Reuben said. “But I didn't hear 'im ask you for no help. Did you, boss man?”
I saw Daddy smile but he didn't answer.
“Ain't got to ask,” Jake said. “That's the difference between me and you, Reuben. I see a man need help, I help him. I don't wait for 'im to ask.” I saw Jake shift his eyes toward me. “Now, son,” he said, “I know what I'm talking about. Them white girls is friendly. And 'fo you get tied up with 'em, you got to be sho'.”
“I ain't gon' get tied up with nobody,” I said. “Just going to lunch.”
“Well that's how it start,” Jake said. “First it's lunch, then it's dinner ... and next thang you know you got a situation. Tell 'im, boss man.”
“Aw, I reckon you telling him right,” Daddy said.
“Aw, boss man,” Reuben said. “Don't encourage that foolishness.”
“Foolishness!” Jake said.
“That's what I said,” Reuben lamented. “Foolishness!”
I saw Jake look at Reuben, then at me.
“Son,” Jake said, “you can listen to Reuben if you want to, but if you got the kind of sense I think you do, you'll hear what I'm telling you. Now, I know what I'm talking about. I done seen this thang before. Seen it with my own eyes.”
He paused and looked at me. I remained quiet.
“See, I was working out in California at this loading dock for one of them big old trucking outfits. Don't exactly remember which one 'cause I worked for several. But I do remember it was a pretty good job. Paid about nineteen dollars a hour, which was good money in them days.”
“Aw hell,” I heard Reuben say. “Here we go again.”
Daddy laughed. Jake looked at Reuben then continued. “Well, they hired this young fellow from Arkansas. I guess that must of been right after the war.”
“What war?” Reuben asked.
“ 'Nam,” Jake said.
“Nigger, you ain't fought in no war.”
“Like hell I didn't.”
“Guess that explain it,” Reuben said.
“Explain what?” Jake asked.
“Why you so goddamn crazy.”
“Crazy,” Jake said. “Nigger, who you calling crazy?”
“Who!” Reuben said. “You ... that's who.”
“Anyway,” Jake said. “It fell on me to train the young buck.”
“Train!” Reuben said. “You!”
“Yeah,” Jake said. “You know, show him the ins and outs of the business.”
He paused, but no one spoke.
“Well,” he continued. “Over the course of time, me and that boy got to know each other pretty good. Matter of fact I took a liking to 'im. I can't really tell you why. I guess I took to 'im mainly because he was from Arkansas and I was from Louisiana. You know how it is. Well, anyway, after he got to know his way around a little bit, he took to hanging 'round the office. Well, I didn't think much about it 'til he come to me one day and said, ‘Jake, I thank one of them girls up there like me.' Well, I didn't know what the hell that fool was talking about, so I asked him what girl. At the time we was in the break room and he nodded toward the office, so I looked where he was looking and when it come to me what he was carrying on about, I looked at him like he was crazy 'cause I knowed ain't nothing worked up in that office but them little ole white gals.
“Now, normally, I would have just minded my own business, but he was young and green and straight out the country. And I could see that he was letting hisself get all worked up and excited, so I tried to calm him down, you know, talk some sense to him. I pulled him aside and I said ‘boy, these white girls out here is different. They real friendly. Now you can't go getting yourself all worked up 'cause they smile at you. It don't mean nothing ... they just friendly, That's all.' ”
“Crazy Boy bucked his eyes and went to shaking his head.
“ ‘Uh-unnh,' he said. ‘She like me. I know she do.'
“ ‘She told you that?' I said.
“ ‘Naw, but I know.'
“ ‘I'm telling you,' I said, ‘They just friendly.'
“ ‘Naw, sir,' he said. ‘You wrong. It's mo' to it than that.... She like me... . She wanting to go to lunch.... She asked me the other day.'
“ ‘Don't mean nothing,' I told him. ‘Everybody out here go to lunch. She just being friendly,' I said.
“ ‘Naw,' he kept saying. ‘She like me. I know she do.'
“ ‘Boy,' I said, ‘they just friendly. Now I'm telling you what I know.'
“Well, that old crazy boy got mad and went to raising his voice.
“ ‘Naw sir,' he said. ‘She like me ... she do.'
“ ‘Alright,' I said. ‘But you better be sho'.'
“ ‘She like me,' he kept saying. ‘I tell you she do.'
“Well, I left it alone. And sho' 'nuff, they went to lunch. And when they got there that white gal went to talking real nice to him and patting on him and such. You know how they do. Well, that crazy boy got excited and took that girl off to herself and up and drawed his thang on her.”
“What?” Reuben said.
“Sho' as I tell you,” Jake said.
“What happened?” Reuben asked.
“Well, that gal got all upset and told the big boss. And he called that fool in the office and next thang you know, that boy done lost that good job and all them benefits. I seen him 'fo he left. Walking 'round looking all crazy and confused like he don't know whether he coming or going. And I didn't say nothing to him. Just shook my head. That's how I know what I'm saying is true. Them white girls is friendly, and when you go to fooling around with 'em you got to be sho'. Now, son, I tell you, if you think that gal like you, don't you jump up and draw on her like that ole crazy boy out there in California did. Naw, you let her reach in there and get it herself.... Now, that'll stand up in any court of law.”
I saw Daddy laughing, then I heard Reuben call to him.
“Boss man,” I heard Reuben say, “Jake talking 'bout hisself. He the one drawed hisself on that girl and lost that good job. That's why he back down here in Louisiana washing dishes. Ain't that right, Jake?”
“Nigger, you can believe what you want to,” Jake said. “Ain't nobody talking to you no way. I'm talking to the little boss man. Now, son, you better listen to me ... them girls is friendly ... Don't you lose your mind and draw on that gal ... don't you do it.”
“I got a girl,” I said defensively.
And when I did Daddy shook with laughter. So did Reuben.
“Aw, leave him alone, Jake,” Reuben said. “You done had your fun.”
I saw Daddy rise to his feet, still laughing.
“Come on, men,” I heard him say. “Let's go back to work.”
I rose and went back to my station. The dishes had stacked up, and from what I could tell the crowd had not varied much from breakfast. I donned my apron and gloves and sunk my hands into the warm, soapy water. I heard Daddy and Reuben behind me, and I could see Tommy flipping burger patties on the steaming hot grill. Jake did not return to his station. Instead he went out into the diner and when he came back he was pushing a cart stacked high with dirty plates and glasses, and I figured he must have left them there just before lunch.
“How's it looking out there?” Reuben asked him.
“Not too bad,” Jake said. “Few stragglers. But most of the crowd done cleared out.”
“How the dishes holding up?” Reuben wanted to know.
“So far, so good.” Jake said.
He made his way to his station and donned his apron. “Reckon we might get out of here early today, boss?” Jake asked.
“All depends,” Daddy said.
“On what?” Jake asked him.
“Flow of customers.”
“And?” Jake said.
“How fast we get done.”
“Can't do nothing about the first,” Jake said, “but damn sho can do something 'bout the second.”
“Can't see too many people coming out in this weather,” Reuben called from the other side of the room.
“Son.” I heard Daddy call me.
“Yeah, Daddy.”
“If you got time,” he said, “like for you to go with me and Papa to find a tree sometime this evening.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. “I got time.”
“Good,” Daddy said. “We'll go after work.”
Then all was quiet save for the sound of water splashing and dishes clanging.
Chapter Eleven
T
he thin crowd held, and we washed the bulk of the dishes and mopped the floors and cleaned the grill, and Daddy let Reuben and Jake go. And he and I stayed back to wash up behind the stragglers. And at five we stacked the chairs on the tables up front and made sure that everything was in order. Then, he and I headed home to pick up Grandpa Luke. And I drove because Daddy was bushed, and while I drove, he sat leaning against the passenger door. And I did not say much to him nor he to me. For his eyes were closed and my mind was on Omenita.
As I watched the road unwind before us, there was a strange thought in my head. I was in an unfamiliar place and Omenita was there and there was a man standing before us. And upon his face was a smile, and he was gazing at her and she was gazing at him, and there was some secret between them. I saw him stretch forth his hand. And then, as quickly as the image had appeared, it was gone. And I could feel the sweat on my face and the numbness in my hands.
Then I realized that there was a large shadow over us. I looked outside and we were passing beneath the large oak trees and I slowed the truck, for this was a residential area. And I watched the sidewalks for playing children and as I did so, I could feel my mind straying again. And I was thinking of Omenita and how I did not want to lose her. And how in my mind there were no words I could find or actions I could take that could move us beyond this impasse.
At home, I turned off the highway into the yard. And when I did, I heard the seashells crunch and I saw Daddy open his eyes and gaze about, dazed. And I saw the old house sitting back off the highway, partially concealed by the large, billowing branches of the old cypress tree.
“Must of been more tired than I thought,” he said. “Guess I dozed off.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. “It's been a long, hard day.”
I killed the engine and waited. I saw him look at his watch and then I saw him lean forward and peer up toward the sky.
“Ain't much light left,” he said. “Be dark soon.”
I had been thinking the same thing. It was a few minutes after five. That gave us less than forty-five minutes to reach our destination and find the tree. I opened the door and stepped out and waited for him to make his way around the truck, and while I waited, I glanced up. Yes, the sun had long since descended from its perch high above it all and now it felt as if the cold weather had gotten even colder. Involuntarily, I felt myself shiver. I tucked my chin and folded my arms across my chest. I looked up; Daddy was watching me.
“You gon' need on warmer clothes,” he said. “Bring any with you?”
I shook my head. I had not thought to bring any. I figured it might get cold, but not this cold. After all it had been so warm, unseasonably warm.
“Gon' be cold out there in them woods,” he said. And I figured he meant to say colder because it was already cold. “Ought to be a extra pair of coveralls in there if you want 'em.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, and I could feel my voice trembling from the cold as the words rolled from my quivering lips. “I do.”
“Well, gone in the house and tell your mama to get 'em for you. I'm gon' be 'round back. Got to get the ax and a couple of flashlights out the toolshed. I'll meet you and Papa back at the truck.”
“Yes, sir,” I said.
I turned to leave but the sound of his voice stopped me.
“And, son ...”
I turned back toward him and hunched my shoulders against the cold.
“Yes, sir,” I said.
“Tell your grandpa to hurry,” he said. “Ain't much daylight left.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. “I will.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets and hurried into the house and got Grandpa and, when we returned, Daddy had placed the ax in the back and was sitting behind the wheel. I pulled the door open and slid in next to Daddy; Grandpa Luke climbed in next to me. I had hastily pulled the coveralls on over my clothes. Inside the truck was cold again. I slid my hands deep inside the pockets.
“They fit?” Daddy asked.
I nodded.
I saw Daddy look at Grandpa Luke.
“How you doing, Papa?” he asked.
“Making out,” Grandpa Luke said. “And you?”
“Aw, I'm aw right,” Daddy said. “Just bushed.”
He backed out into the street, stopped, put the truck into gear, and headed north. I had never made this trip with them before, but I very well knew where we were going. There was a stand of wild pine trees buried deep in the woods some ten miles outside of Brownsville. The woods were on Old Man Harper's land, well beyond the pasture where he grazed his cows. Grandpa Luke had worked for him on shares years ago, and every year since Grandpa Luke was a young man, Old Man Harper had allowed him to select three Christmas trees off his land—one for Old Man Harper, one for Grandpa Luke, and one for us. I was looking out of the window when I heard Daddy yawn.
“Hard day, son?” Grandpa Luke asked him.
“Papa, I ain't seen that many folks at the diner in years,” Daddy said.
“What's the occasion?” Grandpa Luke asked.
“Some kind of convention out at the plant,” Daddy said. “At least that's what they tell me.”
“I hadn't heard nothing 'bout no convention.”
“Caught us all by surprise too,” Daddy said. “Good thing we had old Maurice here or we wouldn't of made it. He did a fine job, a real fine job.”
I felt Daddy's hand on my knee. I looked at him and smiled.
“Don't surprise me none,” Grandpa Luke said. “That boy never was scared of work. But then again, I ain't never met a Dupree who was. Hell, all of us worked night and day, and then some. That boy ain't no different. It's in his blood. He come by it natural ... He a Dupree aw right.”
“Well he did a fine job,” Daddy said again. “Even managed to put up with ole Jake.”
“Jake!” Grandpa Luke said. “That crazy SOB still up there?”
“Still there,” Daddy said.
“And still crazy as hell, I reckon,” Grandpa Luke said, smiling.
“Ain't changed one bit,” Daddy said.
Grandpa Luke shook his head and chuckled. “Well, I'll just be,” he said. “If that don't beat all.”
“Ought to come up there one day,” Daddy said. “I'm sho Jake and Reuben would get a big kick out of seeing you again.”
“Might just do that,” Grandpa Luke said, “when I get a little time, that is.”
“Speaking of time,” Daddy said, “what you do all day?”
“Went by the house for a little while,” Grandpa Luke said. “That's 'bout all.”
“The house?” Daddy said. “What house?”
“My house.”
I saw Daddy look at him, confused.
“How'd you get over there?” he asked.
“I walked,” Grandpa Luke said.
Daddy frowned. “In this weather?” he asked.
“I bundled up good,” Grandpa Luke told him.
“But Papa, you shouldn't be out in this weather like that ... least not by yourself. Suppose something happened. You'd freeze to death 'fo anybody could get to you. Why didn't you just wait 'til we got home?”
“Just needed to get out to the house,” Grandpa Luke said.
I saw Daddy looking at Grandpa Luke, and I knew he was waiting for him to say more, and when he didn't, Daddy spoke again. “I don't want you going off like that by yourself,” he said.
“Don't know why you carrying on so,” Grandpa Luke said. “Last time I looked I was still able to cross the street 'thout a wet nurse. I'm old, but I ain't helpless.”
“I know you ain't helpless,” Daddy said. “Just worry about you. That's all.”
“Well, don't,” Grandpa Luke said.
“Don't see how we can help it,” Daddy said.
“Well,” Grandpa Luke told him, “I wish you would.”
“Papa, wishing ain't gon' stop us from caring about you.”
“Don't want you to stop caring,” Grandpa Luke said. “I appreciate your concern. I really do. You and Audrey and this boy here been more comfort to me than you'll ever know ... but sometimes ... I ... aw, never mind.”
“No Papa, what?”
Grandpa Luke grew pensive. I heard him sigh. I saw him turn his head and stare out of the window.
“What is it, Papa?” Daddy asked again.
Grandpa Luke didn't answer.
“Is something wrong, Papa?” Daddy asked him. “Something you ain't telling us. You ain't feeling poorly, are you?”
“Feel just fine,” Grandpa Luke said.
“Then what is it?” Daddy asked again.
“Nothing,” Grandpa Luke said.
“Papa, if you don't tell us,” Daddy said, “we can't help you.”
“Nothing to tell,” he said.
“Must be something,” Daddy said, “or else you wouldn't be carrying on so.”
“Just let it be,” Grandpa Luke said. “Son, please just let it be.”
“Just let what be?” Daddy asked him.
“Just wish we could talk about something else,” Grandpa Luke said.
“But Papa ...”
“Son, please!” Grandpa Luke said. “Is that too much to ask?”
“Aw right, Papa,” Daddy said. “I'll leave it alone.”
There was silence, and I felt Grandpa Luke squirming on the seat next to me. I pulled my legs closer together to give him more room.
“Sometimes it just gets a little lonely.” Grandpa Luke broke the silence. He paused and Daddy looked at him, but did not speak. “And when it do,” Grandpa Luke continued, “it helps to be close to your mama.” His voice broke, and he opened his mouth to say something else, but when he couldn't, he turned his head and stared far up the road.
“Papa,” Daddy called to him gently, “Mama gone ... and she ain't coming back, and we just gon' have to face that.”
“I know she gone,” Grandpa Luke said. “God knows I do, but even though she ain't here in body, look like I can feel her over there.” Grandpa Luke paused and looked at Daddy. “Son, I can't feel her at your place. I just needed to be close to her today.” His voice broke again, and he turned his head. “I just needed to talk to her, that's all ... I just needed to talk to her.”
It was quiet a minute, and I saw Daddy staring up the road statuelike. He fumbled with the wheel a moment, then turned his head and looked at Grandpa Luke. “We just worry about you, Papa,” he said again. “Would hate for something to happen to you out there on that road all by yourself.”
“Ain't even a good mile from your house to mine,” Grandpa Luke said. “Done walked it a million times. Ain't no cause to worry 'bout that ... no cause at all.”
“Can't help but worry,” Daddy said.
“Well I wish you wouldn't,” Grandpa Luke said again. “I'm fine ... just missing Lucille, that's all.”
There was a lull in the conversation, and I stared straight ahead, watching the passing landscape. We were well outside of the city limits, and there was nothing to see but open land and untilled fields of recently harvested cotton. I glanced at Daddy and he, too, was staring ahead.
“Anything we can do?” Daddy asked.
Grandpa Luke shook his head, then paused. I saw him look out across the landscape. “Don't reckon it's nothing nobody can do.” His voice was low ... flat ... lifeless. “Just got to work it out,” he said. “Just got to work it out somehow.” He had his camera around his neck. I saw him reach down and began fiddling with it. His eyes began to water. I saw Daddy look at him, then back at the highway.
“Just gon' take time, Papa,” he said.
“I know, son,” Grandpa Luke said, “but to be perfectly honest with you I been thinking about moving back home.”
I saw Daddy look at Grandpa Luke and shake his head.
“No, Papa,” he said. “I can't go along with that. I can't go along with that at all.”
“Just want to sleep in my own bed,” Grandpa Luke said. “Just want to be around my own thangs.”
“Don't like the idea of you being in that house by yourself,” Daddy said. “What if you take sick? What if you need something?”
“I'll be alright,” Grandpa Luke said.
“I don't like it,” I heard Daddy say again. “I don't like it at all.”
“I'll be alright,” Grandpa Luke said a second time. “Ain't no cause to worry 'bout me. I'll be alright. . . you'll see.”
BOOK: It's All About The Moon When The Sun Ain't Shining
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