It's an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World (11 page)

“You don't have to get me anything. I did those things because I wanted to.”

“I'm not doing it because I have to. I'm doing it because I want to,” Mindy tells me.

I think about it. “There's this fabulous silver mirror at Anne Smith Antiques that I always go in to visit.”

“The one with the beautiful face carved on it?” Mindy and I like a lot of the same things.

“Is it too expensive?” I want to know.

Mindy shrugs. “It's definitely not cheap . . . but it's perfect. Let's go over there after lunch and ask Anne to put it away until my check comes in.”

I'm so excited.

I love that mirror.

I'm so proud of Mindy.

I'm also very glad that she's brought me up the way she has.

T
he Little Nerdlet has an imaginary playmate, Berky.

This is a new development.

Mrs. Donner thinks it's because they've just brought home the Little Nerdlet II, actually a Nerdlette, Dawna.

Berky put peanut butter in the Venus flytrap. The plant closed up, wouldn't reopen, and died. He also wet the Little Nerdlet's bed and the Little Nerdlet's parents' bed.

The Little Nerdlet said he tried to stop Berky but couldn't.

Mrs. Donner hopes he'll grow out of it.

I'm not so sure. Donny said Berky was willing to sell Dawna to me.

The Little Nerdlet and I are playing on the swings at Andy Lee Field.

It's Sunday and there's a softball league game on the baseball field.

The Little Nerdlet takes Berky up the slide.

As I wait to catch him/them, I look at the guys playing ball. Some of them are kind of cute but none as cute as Jason.

The Little Nerdlet comes down the slide.

I catch him.

I forget to catch Berky though.

The Little Nerdlet picks up his friend and tells me to check for boo-boos.

It's a little embarrassing to dust off an imaginary playmate.

“Kiss the boo-boo,” the Little Nerdlet orders me.

I refuse.

The Little Nerdlet cries.

I kiss the boo-boo.

“Hi, Rosie.”

It's Phoebe. Dave is with her.

The Little Nerdlet puts his arms around her left leg and kisses her kneecap.

“I could be very jealous of this kid,” Dave says.

I don't know what to say. Folding my arms across my chest, I just stand there.

“Can we talk?” Phoebe asks.

“About what?”

“Please,” Phoebe says. “Dave will watch Donny.”

“And Berky,” the Little Nerdlet informs her.

“Berky?” Phoebe asks.

I put my arm around “Berky.” “This is Donny's new friend.”

Phoebe smiles at me and I smile back. It's the first time since our trip to Canada that anything nice has happened between us.

“Okay.” I nod. “But Dave has to take Donny
and
Berky.”

“Come on, guys. Let's go,” Dave says.

Off they go. Dave is Donny's idol. He'll follow him anywhere.

I keep my arms folded across my chest and just stand here.

“You're not going to make it easy to talk, are you?” Phoebe says quietly.

“Should I?” My voice is ice.

Phoebe looks like she's going to leave, but doesn't.

I stare at her.

“Yes,” she says. “Maybe not easy but possible. I'm here to talk about what's happened—how I feel—how I miss you.”

“How about how I feel? Does that count? Or are we only supposed to talk about you?” I continue to stare at her.

“Both of us should talk.” She sighs. “Rosie, I don't want to beg for this talk.”

“You're the one who walked out on the family,” I tell her.

“And I'm the one who's trying to walk back in, and you won't even discuss it. You're the one who says you want a family . . . but you want one without any problems.”

“That's not true.” I defend myself.

“Yes, it is.” She accuses me.

Maybe she's not totally wrong, but is it a crime because I want it that way?

She continues. “I want us to try to work things out as a family.”

“All of a sudden we're a family again.” I frown. “Things must be really terrible in New York.”

Neither of us says anything.

I go over to the swings and sit down.

Phoebe stays where she is.

So now she wants to come home. Am I supposed to jump up and down and applaud? Have her come home and be the center of attention all the time by being a problem? What does she want from me? Sainthood?

Who cares?

I do. “Phoebe, come sit on the swings. Let's talk.”

Phoebe sits down on the swing next to me and starts to cry.

I hate it when she cries.

“Rosie, everything's so messed up.” She continues to cry. “I haven't been really happy for so long.”

“You could have been happy if you'd stayed here,” I tell her.

“No,” she says. “It's been hard since even before my parents' divorce.”

Mindy was right.

The tears are rolling down Phoebe's face. “I just got used to Dad and me in Woodstock and then he started to spend all that time with Mindy and I felt
left out. And my mother married Duane and I felt like she didn't have much time for me. Then when we went to Canada, you met Jason and didn't have time for me.”

“But you have Dave,” I tell her. “And everyone does care about you and spend time with you.”

“I guess I just need a lot.” Phoebe wipes the tears off with her sleeve. “And I hate living with Duane. He really doesn't like me, and Mom's off at work a lot. It's so hard. Here I have people who really do care, but there's not much to do. In New York I love all the stuff to do, but I don't have the people.”

“So you do know how Mindy and Jim feel about you.”

Phoebe nods. “I do now.”

I start to swing a little.

So does Phoebe.

“I miss Dave so much, and I miss you too.” Phoebe looks at me.

We don't say anything for a while but try to work it out so that the swings go the same way and the same speed.

“Are you moving back?” I ask.

Phoebe says, “I talked to Dad and Mindy about it.
They said it's okay with them if I'm willing to make changes and to get some counseling.”

“Are you?”

She nods. “Yes. I hate being this miserable, and I think it'll help me. Mom asked me to stay until Christmas, at least, so that we can continue to try to work out our relationship. I said yes because I want things to be better with her too.”

“And then you'll come back?” I want to know.

“Yes. If it's okay with you. I don't want us to have big problems anymore. And you wouldn't have to share a room this time. Mindy says that now that she's got some money she'll rent an office in town and I can move into her house office.”

“She said she'd give up her office?” I'm amazed.

“She said she was doing it for you, not for me.”

“Wow.” I stop the swing. “Mindy's going to do that? If you come back, will you be nicer to Mindy? And work on our being a family?”

Phoebe stops her swing. “I'll really try.”

I get off the swing and hold my arms out. “Welcome home.”

We hug each other.

I'm beginning to realize that being a family
doesn't mean that everything goes smoothly . . . and that maybe I shouldn't even expect it to. I also am beginning to see that there can be love even if there's not always like.

C
hristmas Eve in Woodstock. It's the most special time and place in the world.

This year's even more wonderful because Jason's here.

Standing on the village green, we're in the middle of a crowd singing carols and waiting for Santa Claus. Jason's got his arm around my waist and my head is on his shoulder.

We stopped at the Little Nerdlet's house before
coming into town. We decided to exchange presents tonight. For Dawna, I bought this adorable baby flannel tuxedo from Camp Kinderland, a great store in town. She drooled all over it. I gave the Little Nerdlet the mouse earmuffs that I got in Canada. He said, “Oh, goody! Headphones!” and was very disappointed that they weren't attached to a radio. The Little Nerdlet said he would share it with Berky, since I forgot to get a present for him. The Donners gave me this pair of earrings I've been staring at for months from Sweetheart Gallery.

Everyone is waiting for Santa Claus.

The snow is coming down lightly.

Jason and I are huddled together for warmth and for happiness.

Garbage Gut comes up to us. He always comes to town on Christmas Eve because all the stores give out free food and drinks. “So this is the famous Jason who stole Rosie's heart.”

I tell Garbage Gut that Vidakafka's giving out delicious homemade almond butter cookies. He rushes off, even though it's a store that sells beautiful lingerie. He has no shame. Nothing stops G.G. when it involves food. It's a good thing he's a growing boy and that he exercises or he'd be in trouble.

Mindy, Jim, Phoebe, and Dave join us. We link arms and sing “White Christmas.”

I think of my father and his family in California. They wanted me to go out there for the holidays but I said no, that I wanted to be here. My father accused me of having no sense of family. I promised to go there over spring break.

“He's coming. He's coming,” people in the crowd start to call out.

I look up at Jason and smile.

We kiss.

“He's here.”

We stop kissing to see Santa Claus arrive on a giant float shaped like a plane, with a sign on it, “The Spirit of Woodstock.”

Each year he arrives a different way. It's the best tradition.

After getting off the float, he stands in the middle of the village green and starts handing out stockings filled with candy, fruit, and little toys.

The snow is coming down heavier. Some of the older kids are throwing snowballs at each other.

There's a long line of little kids waiting for Santa. Garbage Gut is in the middle, bending at his knees so that he looks shorter.

People on the village green are wishing each other a happy holiday. Others are going into the stores for last-minute shopping and visiting with the people who have to work on Christmas Eve.

Phoebe comes over smiling and says, “Let's go home and trim the tree.”

I nod and smile back.

Jim is tap dancing in the snow to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman,” which is being sung by Mindy and Dave.

Jason kisses me on the forehead. “I love Woodstock.”

“I knew you would.” I put my right hand in his and take Phoebe's hand with my left.

It's not a dog-eat-dog world.

It's not even an aardvark-eat-turtle world.

It's a world where families and friendships change and grow.

It sure takes a lot of work, but it's worth it.

R
earrange the letters in the word PARENTS and you get the word ENTRAPS.

I found that out one day when I was playing Scrabble, got the seven-letter word, and had no place to put it.

That's the way I'm feeling right now, trapped with no place to go.

It's not fair. A growing girl should have parents who act more like grown-ups. They're supposed to know what they want out
of life and not be confused and constantly making a lot of changes.

Not my parents though. They are still, as my father likes to say, “getting their act together.”

They started getting their act together by breaking up. That happened the summer I was between seventh and eighth grade. It was a real shock. Sure, I knew they weren't getting along well, but I didn't expect divorce. Not the way it happened.

Right after seventh grade I was sent to camp. My parents told me that camp would be good for me since I was an only child.

Good for me, ha! It was their chance. My father moved out.

I had no say. It was all arranged by the time I got home from camp.

My mother got to stay in our New York apartment and keep the furnishings.

My father sublet another apartment nearby and got the summer house in Woodstock.

Each of them got part of the savings.

My father got the car, which my mother had never learned to drive anyway.

Both of them got me, joint custody.

I lived half a week with one parent, the second half with the other. Weekends were alternated. If this sounds confusing, it was. I had to keep track of everything with a calendar. Once everything got really messed up. Each parent thought it was the other's weekend to have me, and both of them made plans to go away. It was awful. I felt like neither of them wanted me. Finally I ended up calling my friend Katie and making plans to stay with her. By that time both of my parents had canceled their weekend plans.

For all of eighth grade I commuted between the two apartments.