It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies (5 page)

Let’s feast on merry gentlemen;

There’ll be arterial spray.

Remember, eat your vegetables

With brains on Christmas Day.

You can’t be saved from Zombie’s power;

Undead have gone astray.

Eating brains brings us comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy,

O, eating brains brings us comfort and joy.

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks,

Simply teeming with brains!

In the air

There’s a new

Zombie virus.

Undead laughing,

Brains they’re passing,

Eating mile after mile,

And on ev’ry street corner you’ll hear:

Silver brains! Silver brains!

It’s undead party time in the city.

Do our thing! Hear them scream!

The Zombie will carry the day!

All the streetlights,

Even stoplights,

No longer blink red and green

As the shoppers become barricaders!

Hear the bones crunch,

See the kids munch,

Even on Santa we feed.

And above all the gristle

You’ll hear:

Let’s eat brains, silver brains!

It’s undead party time in the city.

Do our thing, hear them scream!

Soon it will be Christmas Day.

I’ll be undead for Christmas,

Eating more than I usually do,

And although I know it’s a long road home,

I’ll be fueled by goo.

Chorus

Christmas Eve will find me

Wherever brains will be.

I’ll be undead for Christmas,

When I hear your screams.

I’ll be undead this Christmas—

Yes the virus, it got me.

Tramp through the snow, to eat some toes

And brains under the tree.

Chorus

When I hear your screams.

When I hear your screams.

Chorus

Grandma got turned into a Zombie,

Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.

You can say there’s no such thing as Undead.

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She’d been drinkin’ too much eggnog,

And we’d begged her not to go.

But she ignored our Zombie warnings,

And she staggered out the door into the snow.

When we found her Christmas mornin’

At the scene of the attack,

She was missing part of her forehead,

And incriminatin’ undead marks were on her back.

Chorus

Now we’re all so proud of Grandpa.

He’s been takin’ this so well;

See him in there with a sharp machete,

Drinkin’ beer and loadin’ his shotgun up with shells.

It’s not Christmas without Grandma;

All the family waits for her attack,

And we just can’t help but wonder:

Should we decapitate her with a whack?

Chorus

Now Grandma’s out there clawing at the window,

And Grandpa, he doesn’t give a fig.

He will take his sharp machete,

And chop right down through Grandma’s blue-haired wig.

I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors,

Better stock up your pantry shelves.

The Undead surely are a menace,

And some of them look like their former selves.

Chorus

It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear,

While the virus is jelling,

And everyone’s yelling that Zombies are here,

It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear.

There’ll be fresh brains for roasting,

Intestines for toasting,

And body parts out in the snow.

There’ll be Undead beheading

And Zombies a-spreading,

From viruses long, long ago.

It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear.

There’ll be no Zombies slowing,

And brains will be glowing,

When undead ones are near.

It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear!

Chorus

We wish you an undead Christmas;

We wish you an undead Christmas;

We wish you an undead Christmas while we chew off your ear.

Zombie virus we bring to you and your kin;

We’ll eat brains for Christmas and through the New Year.

Oh, bring us a hippocampus;

Oh, bring us a hippocampus;

Oh, bring us a hippocampus and a cup of root beer.

We won’t go until we eat you;

We won’t go until we eat you;

We won’t go until we eat you, so come on out here.

Chorus