It’s Still Complicated: …because I Am Still Waiting (11 page)

Then she told me about how they all danced on the cruise, and then I shared my memories with her when I was on a cruise with my school teachers and class mates on a organized school trip, and how we all enjoyed that night. Then I told her I wish to learn how to dance and that too with her. She then suggested me to join some dance classes, and I asked her if she could join the same with me. She agreed and I started searching for the dance classes the very next day. She took her mother’s permission for the dance classes and soon we both joined the Salsa dance classes as a couple we had our pair.

Day 01 – Salsa Classes

This was the best way to fulfill the desire to spend time with her, during these dance classes she will be with me for one hour everyday which may complete the emptiness of those long 10 days without her. As usual she was late and I was waiting for her, to wait for her was the best moment of my life because those long few minutes made me realize how important she was for me and how much I love her. She parked her car and we both went inside the classes together. The teacher was a female; she was looking simple in her red T-shirt and black stretchable legging, her hair were oily and tied back on her head, her triangular face cut was missing the charm because of work stress, but somehow she was able to manage everything with her smile. She came to us and she asked if we both are couples, to which we happily agreed, she smiled and said very few are lucky to learn salsa with their real partner.

Then she started teaching us with the basics and asked me to hold her right hand with the left hand and put my right hand on her waist. This was may be the first time when we were so close in front of someone but we had to. She taught us the four basics and asked us to practice the same at home, I wish I could take you home for the practice I said to Megha, and she said shut up with a smile. This was a trial class and we both were comfortable with everything so we agreed to continue it further.

Day 07 – Salsa Classes

We were love birds and we always kept searching for the “Vella” (free) time to meet each other and love each other, that day we planned to meet outside the dance classes a few minutes before the classes and we kept sitting inside the car for those few minutes. When we entered the class and the teacher asked us “you both were sitting inside the car, why dint you came inside the class if you were before time?” Me and Megha looked and each other and smiled, and the teacher understood the reason and she also smiled. This was the day when we were closer than any other day of the dance classes, as today the teacher knew that we were in true love and she need not shy teaching us the closest possible steps of salsa, were I need to pick her up, where I need to hug her and where I need to take her in my arms and a lot more like that.

Day 15 – Salsa Classes

The last day of Salsa classes, we both were having mixed emotions. We were happy because today we had learned one art of dancing and we were sad because we would no more be able to meet daily like in the past 15 days. Me and Megha both wanted to enjoy this last day of salsa classes to the fullest, the teacher taught us the ball room steps where I have to take her in my arms, where I had to pick her up and the way we danced that day was awesome, I never knew we both would become such a good dancers. Then she requested the teacher to play “Pehla nasha, Pehla Khumar”, her favorite song, and she wanted me to dance with her on that song. The beautiful song, the beautiful lightings, the beautiful moment and of course the beautiful partner to dance with. The song got played again and again because of few mistakes done by us, as we were not doing the steps along with the track, but when we both realized that we were with each other, hand in hand and we wanted to do the same dance in our marriage with each other in the future, we wanted to give our best. This time when the song got played, we danced, we enjoyed the lyrics, the track, the belongingness of each other and the love was in the air, we danced to the fullest and we dint even recognized when did the song finished, and everyone out there started clapping for us. Teacher was happy to see us both dancing so well, with so much of true emotions and more than that the love for each other.

12th October, 2012 (Friday)

Every Friday we had Business Policy Classes for 3 hours in the college so we had to wear formals. As usual I boarded the college bus from NSP, I was listening to my favorite songs and due to the traffic jam which in not so usual in the early mornings, that day we were late. I was feeling very uncomfortable in the bus, I was sweating which I thought may be because of the climate, it was very uneasy in the formals and I was getting low in energy which may be because of not having breakfast in the morning I thought. Slowly and a bit late we reached the college, by “we” I mean Simran, my class mate and me, as she also used to come in the same bus.

We entered the class after checking the schedule; the class room was full and chilled. I made myself comfortable near Vatsala, my best friend and of course a few common friends were also sitting nearby. The class started as usual with a quite serious note. Suddenly I started feeling too cold and weak, I was very much low on energy. I wanted to pee but the professor was so strict that I knew he would not allow me to go out except in the breaks. When the teacher turned towards the white board I shifted to the back bench thinking that, at the back side there must be less cold. But it could not help me out, it was still very cold and I was freezing, I asked one of my class mate if he is also feeling the same, he nodded his head in yes so I thought the ac temperature is very low, somehow I managed till the break.

As soon as the break was announced I rushed to the canteen and got a Limca. Looking at me my friends suggested that I might be having low BP because of which I am low in energy and Limca would work as a stimulator. I had Limca, but then I had to rush towards the washroom as I felt like vomiting; I was confused on what to do, nothing like that ever happened to me.

After the class of BP I went to the reception to ask for a medicine for fever, as I was feeling cold even outside the class where it was too hot.

For a moment I wanted to go home but then I realized that it’s a matter of next 2 hrs, I should attend the class and attendance were also too important so somehow I managed to attend the next class also. As soon as the class was over, I took the college but to the metro station and boarded the metro. It was a journey of 1 hr. from Qutub Minar Metro Station to Rohini East Metro, which was hell long for me that day as I was not able to even stand properly and I hadn’t got any seat to sit. As soon as the train entered Pratap Nagar Metro Station I came out of metro and sat on a chair on the platform, I was so weakened that was couldn’t stand for few more seconds. I took my cell phone out and called Megha.

Hello! Hello!

Hello! Are u there?

Hellooo, yaar I am not able to speak up. What happened, where are you?

I am at Pratap Nagar Station, I am sitting on a chair, I cannot stand I am feeling very much low and I think I am not even able to speak.

Why? What happened to you?

I don’t Know, I think it’s a viral as I am feeling very cold in Metro and I…

And you? Speak up baby, achha do one thing, just get out of Metro Station and hire an auto to reach home.

Umm… I can’t, I am sure I will not get auto from here and even they will not take me home as I am not well, so nobody would take a risk. Even if I don’t get an auto I can’t stand for a long time as I am not able to.

Just try to get an auto if you can, otherwise reach home through metro asap and when you reach home go to the dr. immediately.

Hmm… I am getting inside the train again and I would call you when I reach home.

Okay take care, do call me when you reach home, Love you.

Love you too.

I was again standing inside the metro; a policeman was standing in front of me. I thought I should ask him for help but then I realized I was just a miles away from my home and Mami is alone at home, so if the policeman takes me to the hospital, it will be very difficult for Mami to manage everything. I called up Mami and asked her to be ready to take me to the doctor as I wanted to see a dr. as soon as I reach my apartment. She got a bit worried and finished up everything hurriedly, when I reached to my bike which was parked at Netaji Subhash Palace Metro Station I was a bit feeling better; I somehow gathered the energy to drive the bike till I reached home. We went to the dr. and then he said “I guess you have dengue, I am giving you some medicines and I have written some tests on the prescription, which you need to get done today and show me the reports by tomorrow”. I got those tests done; I went home and called up Megha as I knew she must be worried and waiting for my call. I told her everything will be alright and she also acted very much unworried in order to relax my mood and said “Yes sweetheart when I am with you, nothing wrong will happen to you, so don’t worry and take some rest”.

I had dinner but I couldn’t sleep the whole night as I was feeling very weak and helpless. I couldn’t even call Megha as she would get angry on me for not taking rest and I also dint have sufficient energy to utter a word. As advised by the dr. I was having a lot of water because of which I had to go to washroom again and again which probably disturbed Mami also. But I was very worried to see myself like this, I never felt like this ever in my life.

13th October, 2012

The reports were ready; the platelet count was 145000 which was less than the minimum platelets required in a human body. The dr. was surprised to see that even I such situation I was able to ride my bike, take the reports from the diagnostic centre and go to the dr. to show the reports. He said when the platelets are less than the required a person doesn’t have energy to even carry himself properly how come you drive your bike and manage everything. I smiled and said, “I don’t know”. It was awkward for me, I knew there was something very wrong but then he suggested me to get blood tests twice a day and show him the reports every day. Till then I had to take medicines and a lot of liquids too.

I was worried, tensed, weakened, lost, but I wanted to meet Megha. I asked her if somehow she could meet me. But neither she could do and nor did my Mami allowed me to go outside till I am okay. Mami was just like my mother for me, she took care for me, she brought a lot of cold drinks, coconut water, glucose, and every possible thing of the world which could help me in getting alright. I even started hating the chapatti’s, which is normal when you have dengue. She made every possible food which I may like to eat but I had to be alive on liquids and only liquids and have to go to rest room every now and then.

The nurses on the diagnostic centre started feeling sorry for me as every day they have to take blood from my veins twice and I was like a one man army, I had to get the tests done, take the reports and show to the dr. daily. Though Mami always wanted to go along with me but I never took her along with me as she had a child to look after, my cousin Sujal.

15th October, 2012

The platelet count was getting lower, it reached 132000, the situation was worst. Dr. said it is dengue but he will not admit me to the hospital until the platelet counts goes more down as according to him sometimes patients recover without the hospitalization. I started feeling itching on my legs and palm in the mid night. Everyone at home was slept, I took a towel, poured some water on it and rubbed that wet towel on my legs and palm, thinking that there might be some itching because of not taking bath from last 3 days. But I got no relief from it, I took out some Nycil powder and applied it, but alas, nothing is working. I kept scratching the palm and legs the whole night like a monkey but I had no other option. I called Megha but she dint picked up the phone, her cell phone was on silent mode she replied the next day.

16th October, 2012

At the platelet count of 127000, it started all over again. Oh my god, what the hell is happening to me, I never did anything wrong to anyone. Why me I started crying and shouting when Mami came and rubbed my legs and palm till I felt a bit better. I even started hating the smell of the food getting cooked in the kitchen, but I had to bear it as I have no other option. Mami wanted me to eat something as I haven’t had food since last 2 days but the neighbor made her understand that this is a symptom and its better if I take liquids only.

17th October, 2012

Now the platelet count was 120000, where I was weak, feeling cold, itching in the palm and legs. I was taken to the hospital where I again had to go through the blood tests. The dr. diagnosed me, Smiled and uttered few words “He is having dengue, we have to admit him”. A few drops of tears came out of my eyes, I was feeling like I would not get out of this hospital alive now, those days were like the last few days of my life. They took me to the room; put a syringe in my left hand which was taking the glucose inside my body, twice or thrice and sometimes multiple times the nurses used to give me injections of some liquid medicines. I had never been to any hospital before and at least never as a patient except once when I had a severe stomach ache when I was in hostel a few years back. I informed Megha that I am admitted in the hospital and I am not allowed to keep the cell phone inside the room, she can call Mami to get updates on my well-being. She was tensed, silent and she asked me to take care of myself. May be she was crying thinking that I am very serious but she dint show it to me, she said “everything will be alright and get well soon to meet me, I will be waiting for you sweetheart, I Love You”.

Those three words looked like the last words from her as I thought I’ll never be able to see or talk to her anymore, I don’t know why I lost the battle without fighting, maybe just because it was the first time when I was attacked by such a serious disease and I was afraid of dying.

Bade Mamaji (Shiv Mami) was informed about my illness; he is the eldest among all my relatives and has more knowledge of everything than the others in the family. He came along with Mami and they enquired about the condition, the medicines prescribed, the treatment given and everything needed. I was more relaxed to see him as he takes care that nothing goes wrong with the treatment and of course when the eldest in the family is with you, your tension transfers to him. The platelet count in the evening reached 84000 and the dr. relaxed everyone by saying that currently the situation is not much serious and there is nothing to worry about.