Jack and the Devil's Purse (22 page)

So one day after visiting the village, Jack’s father and his mother said goodbye to their friends. They jumped in their little gig with the fast pony and drove home. But it was a long journey, maybe three or four miles, and many bends and twists were in the road they had to take to their little croft on the hillside. And there came a storm. When there was a bolt of lightning and thunder the pony got frightened and took off. Jack’s father, having had a few drinks, could not control it! The pony bolted and went over the clift. Jack’s mother and father were killed.

Oh, the people in the village had warned them. But they were very sad because poor Jack was left now by himself, a ten-year-old boy. So after the funeral service and everything was settled down Jack was alone. What were they going to do with the little boy?

But then who should turn up but an old man with a wooden leg, a peg-leg, and a fisherman’s bonnet while the people in the village were discussing what they were going to do with Jack!

And he pushed the people aside with his peg-leg and said, ‘Look, I want to see Jack!’

And there stood little Jack among all the people. Some wanted to take him because they were friends of his father and friends of his mother.

The old man with the peg-leg stepped forward and said, ‘I’m your uncle, boy. You come with me!’

Jack thought he was a strange old man – with the fisherman’s bonnet and the peg-leg and the blue jacket. And he introduced himself, said he was Jack’s mother’s oldest brother. He had just returned from sea and heard the tragic news, but was too late to go to the funeral and everything else.

But he says, ‘Laddie, you’ll come with me!’

So, to make a long story short, Jack was very pleased. Because he was a jolly old fellow, was the old uncle. Jack went off to live with him to a little place he had by himself. He’d been a seaman and never married. Saving all his money, he’d bought a little croft and he had a little nest egg of money to keep himself.

‘Don’t worry, my lad, my son,’ he said to Jack. ‘You’ll be all right. Your uncle will take care of you. You’ll have no worries in this world.’

Jack was very happy to be with his old uncle. He liked him very much even though he’d only known him for a while. But as the days and weeks went into time, Jack came to love and respect this old uncle like nothing on this Earth. Because after the evening supper was over, what the old uncle loved to do was take Jack by the fireside, the little peat
fire, and tell him all those stories. Oh, he told him stories galore because he’d been an old sailor! He told him stories of his voyages into the East, stories about countries he’d visited.

And Jack thought his uncle had been telling a bit of lies at the time, you see. But Jack said one thing and thought another. His uncle stretched the truth sometimes, telling Jack all those wonderful stories.

And the years passed by and Jack grew up. But Jack got accustomed to his uncle and there was nothing more he loved in his life than listening to his old uncle telling him stories. By the age of twenty Jack began to mingle with the people in the local village where his uncle lived. And naturally, a young man would get in touch in the little inn where people gathered together. Here Jack told some of the stories his uncle had told him!

Oh, the people were interested. The local people had love and respect for Jack, but behind Jack’s back they said, ‘Hey, Jack’s a good storyteller. But doesn’t he tell a pack of lies!’

And this old man says, ‘Pack of lies? Jack doesn’t tell a pack of lies; Jack tells a
bag
o’ lies. A real
bag o’ lies
.’

But they loved Jack and they loved his stories, those he was getting from his uncle and passing on to the people in the village. And when Jack walked into the local pub the young women and men, everybody expected Jack should come and tell them the stories.

So Jack continued, till one day a messenger came through the village on horseback. And he was crying out loud and carrying a piece of parchment in his hand, showing it off to everybody. The messenger dismounted at the front of the little inn, held up the parchment, the old scroll. People gathered around. What was this message coming to the village where Jack lived?

And the message said:
THE TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY OF THE
PRINCESS
! Signed by the king, inviting all the storytellers and liars to come before the king: the king was celebrating the princess’s birthday.

And the king himself, who was a bit of a storyteller, who loved to hear stories and tales and things like that, said there was nothing more he wanted for the princess’s birthday party than to have a storytelling session. But not the kind of stories people would tell about their home life; he wanted the most fantastic stories of all! He wanted stories that were really lies. He wanted real lies. And he said he would offer a large reward to anyone who could come and tell him a story that he could not believe. But to win they must tell him something so that he, the king, would call the storyteller a liar!

But Jack wasna very interested in this.

So the people got together after the messenger had passed on to the next village. They said, ‘Jack, here, Jack! Why don’t you go and compete at the king’s tournament and the princess’s party? Why don’t you tell him one of the tales you tell us? Tell the king a lie, tell the king a good lie! You have many.’

So Jack thought to himself, maybe I could. Maybe this would be a good thing for me. Now where Jack lived was only about five miles from the palace where the king was. So he went home and told his uncle:

‘Uncle, uncle, I’ve something to tell you!’ So Jack told his uncle about the messenger coming to the village and about the king wanting to hear a storyteller who could tell a lie. He said, ‘Uncle, I know you’ve told me many lies. But, Uncle, have you told me a big enough lie that would fool the king?’

And the uncle said, ‘Well, Jack, I’ve told you an awful lot of stories, and I’m sure some of them I’ve told you would fool the king.’

But Jack said, ‘I’m not very happy. I don’t have really a good one. Uncle, tell me another one! Tell me one I could tell the king!’

‘Well, Jack,’ the uncle said, ‘if you want to – have you made up your mind to go? You must tell me the truth if you’ve made up your mind!’

Jack said, ‘I want to go! It’s the princess’s birthday.’

But the uncle says, ‘There’s something you don’t know, Jack. This king is a kind of conceited man, you know. There’s no one in the world that the king thinks better than himself. He dresses the best, he comes before the people and says he’s the best. I know about the king more than you do.’

‘Well, Uncle,’ Jack says, ‘I want to tell the king a lie!’

He says, ‘Jack, this is the lie to tell the king. You see, before you were born, Jack, I lived here with my parents. And, you see, we didna have much ground, as you know yourself, Jack. But in the East a long time ago when I was young in the ships I met an old man. And me and him got to be friends. I don’t know where the man came from. He could have been Chinese, he could have been from anywhere in the world. But he and I drank together and before we parted he gave me one grain of corn.’

And Jack’s listening carefully, you see!

‘He gave me one grain of corn,’ said the old uncle. ‘So I went and took the grain of corn from him and he told me, “Take it and plant it when you go home.” So my father and mother, who were your grandfather and granny, were alive at that time. I took the grain of corn home and just for the sake of fun I planted it. Out there, Jack, right in front of this little croft, I planted that grain. And the spring went by and I tended it and watered it to see what would come from it.’

And Jack’s listening very careful.

And the old uncle said, ‘Jack, do you know this? You’ve no idea what happened to that grain of corn! Within six months that grain of corn was higher than a pine tree, higher than a pine tree!’

Jack’s listening.

The uncle said, ‘It was into the sky sixty feet high. Then me and my father, when it was ready, we took two axes and we went out to cut it. We tried wir best to chop this one single grain down. But lo and behold the axe wouldnae take! It wouldnae even touch it. We chopped and we pushed and we chopped, but no way. So my father and me was completely exhausted. And your granny called us in for something to eat.

‘So in we went for something to eat. But when we came out, lo and behold, you’ll no believe this, Jack, son, the great stalk of corn was lying flat! There beside it stood the biggest hare that ever I’d seen in all my life. It was bigger than a donkey! It was crumping-crumping-crumping, eating the corn piece by piece. Me and your grandfather took wir axes and we rushed out and we managed to save the heads of the grain. But for the stalk, the hare had ate it. And then the hare was gone, it disappeared in the distance. Now,’ he said, ‘you go back to the king and tell the king that story!’

So, Jack being a bit of a liar thought he was going to exaggerate the truth a wee bit. He goes the next morning, takes off for the palace of the king. One by one the people came in.

‘Name?’

‘Jack.’

‘Occupation?’

‘Storyteller.’

‘Are you a liar?’ cried the attendant to the king.

‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘I’ve told a few in my time.’

‘Okay then, appear before the king!’

So they all went in to the great hall where they all sat round. And there sat the king on his throne in the middle of the floor. One by one the king called them up. And they told the king a few lies. The king listened.

He said, ‘I well believe that. I well believe that,’ said the king. ‘I well believe that.’

And one by one off they went till it came Jack’s turn. Now Jack was the last in the line. And Jack was called up before the king.

‘Name?’ said the king.

He says, ‘Jack.’

‘Occupation?’

Jack says, ‘Well, I’ve no occupation. I just live with my uncle.’

‘Storyteller? Liar?’ said the king.

‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘I’ve told a few in my time.’

‘Well,’ he said, ‘you’d better tell me a few! Tell me a lie. I’ve called you here today because this is the birthday of my daughter the princess. And I want you to tell me a lie! Young man, if I can call you a liar I’ll give you a reward. But should you fail, it’s curtains for you!’

Jack said, ‘There’s nae problem to it.’ So Jack thought.

He said: ‘King, Your Majesty the King, I live with my old uncle and I’ll tell you the truth. My parents were killed in an accident when my father boasted about his fast horse. And it went over the clift in a thunderstorm and it was killed. Then my old uncle came and collected me. I’ve lived with my old uncle ever since. He has been in many parts of the world.’

And the king said, ‘But that’s no a lie.’

‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘give me time, I’m coming to the story! My uncle told me many stories in my time.’

And Jack began to tell him the story about the grain. The king said, ‘I well believe that. There could be a little truth
attached to that thing.’ But the king said, ‘And what happened to the grain?’

‘Oh,’ says Jack, ‘you’ve no idea!’

Now Jack hadn’t a clue what happened. But Jack being Jack thought he would tell the king what happened to the grain. His uncle had never told him. But Jack being a bit of a storyteller and a liar thought he could tell the king a story!

So, when Jack told the king about the hare coming eating the grain and eating the large corn stalk, and it falling, the king seemed to be interested, you see! And he says, ‘Come, come, young man, tell me, tell me what happened to the grain?’

‘Well,’ thought Jack, ‘I must make up something for the king.’ He said, ‘My grandfather and my uncle, they collected the grain after the hare had etten the stalk. And they put it in a bag. They had a secret, they had the finest grain in all the land! And they stored it away for many years. No one knew the secret of the grain.’

‘I believe that,’ said the king. ‘But tell me, tell me, young man!’ The king was getting excited:

‘Tell me what happened to the grain!’

‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘they stored it away for a long, long time. And my grandfather left it to my uncle. When I lived with my uncle he told me about it. So I said to my uncle, “Why don’t we grow it?”

‘“Oh never,” said my uncle, “we cannae grow it, Jack. We cannae grow it!”

‘But I finally convinced my uncle that we should grow the grain. So me and my uncle, we borrowed a couple of horses and ploughed the field. And we sowed the grain. And you know, Your Majesty, that grain, I watched it carefully. Kept the crows away and the birds away, out of that grain. It began to grow. I tended it carefully.’

‘I believe that,’ said the king.

Jack said, ‘Are you calling me a liar?’

‘No,’ said the king, ‘I’m no calling you a liar. In no way, I’m no calling you a liar!’

(Now as I told you – he was a very conceited king, this.)

He said, ‘Young man, I believe it. But tell me, tell me what happened!’

‘Well,’ Jack says, ‘the grain began to grow. And you know, Your Majesty, that grain began to grow like a pine forest. It was the highest and biggest grain – it was hanging with heavy peas of grain! And me and my uncle don’t know what we’re going to do with it! Oh, people came from far and wide, and they looked at it. It was like a pine forest!’

‘I believe that,’ said the king. But he said, ‘Come tell me, what happened?’

‘Well,’ Jack said, ‘Uncle said to me, we’ll have to go get special axes made because the axes we had before wouldn’t look at it. So we went to the blacksmith and got special axes made for to cut down the grain the next morning.’

The king’s listening to the story. He said, ‘Axes to cut down the corn, the corn stalks . . .’

But Jack said, ‘We got wir axes honed and sharpened in the smiddie. And the next morning my uncle and me would attack the grain. But lo and behold – we went out to the field next morning and there was a hare, the same hare – the size of a donkey!’ He said, ‘Your Majesty, you wouldn’t believe this! It was the biggest hare I ever saw in my life. It was bigger than a donkey.’

The king said, ‘Not a hare the size of a donkey?’