Jaded (The Butterfly Memoirs) (9 page)

I nodded and forced myself to remember neither of us desired a relationship.

“Yasmine, it’s time.” One of the other bridesmaids waved her over.

She turned, nodded, and then faced me. “I’ll see you once the reception gets started.” She gave me a little wave and disappeared in the crowd.

“Just friends,” I murmured.

Chapter 11

The reception was in full swing. I glanced down the line of the bridal table. Ebony leaned against Brian’s shoulder as they watched the video presentation of their lives.

Kaitlyn glanced my way and gave me thumbs up.

I smiled back, but inside, I was dying.

No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible to forget how my two chances of having a day like this had slipped from my grasp, leaving all hope and desire of finding love improbable.

My thoughts were interrupted by a round of applause as the video ended and the bride and groom were called for their first dance as a married couple.

I reached for the nearest champagne bottle on the table. Damn, empty. At least there was a fully stocked bar.

I glanced at the table where Zack sat, our eyes meeting once again.  From the moment I found him in the audience during the ceremony, it seemed he watched me at every opportunity. His presence soothed me. Since getting to know him, Zack proved to be a dependable shoulder to lean on. Anytime I needed to talk, he listened, never expecting anything in return, a trait I appreciated.

I impatiently waited for the song to end. My fingers tingled from the memory of his shoulders beneath my fingers. His piercing hazel eyes had felt as if he peered into my soul. The feeling should have terrified me, instead it was comforting.  If Zack were to say he wanted to sleep with me, my clothes would be off in seconds. Giving him what he wanted would not be a problem.

I shook my head. What was I thinking? Slipping back into my old mentality was not about to happen. Our relationship was not about sex. We were friends, nothing more.

Applause disrupted my thoughts as the song ended. The MC announced it was time to dance. The opening notes of the Cha-Cha Slide came on, drawing bodies to the dance floor.

I needed a drink. The two glasses of wine consumed barely numbed the pain of loneliness in my heart. Maybe another would help me ignore the thoughts about Zack.

I held up my empty glass and nodded towards the bar indicating my intention. He inclined his head in understanding.

After rising from the chair, I adjusted the hem of my dress and plastered a smile on my face before walking the length of the bridal table.

When I reached the end, someone grabbed my hand. I followed the length of the arm to Ebony’s beaming face.

“I can’t say thank you enough for all you’ve done for us, Yaz.” My best friend pulled me into her arms and held tight.

I sighed, returning the hug. “You know I love you, girl. I’m glad you’re happy. You’ve made such a beautiful bride.” I pulled away, dabbing at tears while trying not to smudge my makeup.

She laughed. “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know what I would have worn.”

“True, I definitely changed your style.”

Ebony was a cross between a tomboy and a nerd when we met. Over the years, she’d morphed into her true beauty.

She laughed then peered over my shoulder. “I’m guessing that fine man over there is here with you.”

I followed her line of sight and ended at Zack, who stood near the bar, waiting for me. “That’s my friend, Zachariah. He’s keeping me company.”

A slow smile spread across her face. “Cute.”

“It’s nothing like that.” I rolled my eyes at Ebony’s smirk. “Seriously, we don’t have that kind of relationship. I help him by checking on his mother during the week. He’s here tonight to repay the favor.”

“Uh, huh. Then why does he have ‘smitten’ written all over his face?”

“Because you’re in love and believe everyone around you should be, too.” I gave her another hug. “Enjoy your night. I’m about to refill this empty glass.”

“Okay, just make sure you introduce him before we leave.”

I nodded and walked towards the bar.

Smitten?  Zachariah Givens could not be smitten with me. We’d established the parameters of our relationship, making it clear neither of us intended to cross the line.

“How are you holding up?”

Goosebumps rose along my skin at hearing his voice and my heart quickened. I risked a glance at my unbelievably handsome, mocha-chocolate colored friend, as he approached.  The way the tux hung from his broad shoulders and hugged his waist pushed erotic visions of taking it off to the forefront of my mind. When did he start looking that good? When he took off the glasses?

Those hazel eyes studied me again. Damn.

I needed that drink. STAT.

The bartender handed me a glass of white wine. I took a large sip, ignoring the fruity flavor on my tongue. “How do I look?”

Zack’s thick eyebrows lifted as his eyes flowed slowly over my body. I gulped a second swallow.

“Like you’re in need of company.” His touch was light as his hand rested on my bare shoulder, then slid slowly down my arm.

I stifled a moan. My body reacted the way my brain knew it shouldn’t. “That bad?” The next gulp nearly emptied the glass.

Zack’s hand covered mine, slipped the glass from between my shaking fingers, and gave it to the bartender. “Please dispose of this.”

What the hell? “I wasn’t done.”

“Yes, you are.” Without another word, Zack slipped a hand around my waist, pulled me against him, and guided me to a table where he directed me to sit.

If it weren’t for the fact my knees were weak from the full physical contact of being against him, combined with the effects of the wine, I’d be pissed.

The few people sitting at the table left the moment the music changed.

“Drink this.”

I studied the glass of water. Was he insane?

“I was fine with what I had.”

“Wine is not apple juice. I’ve been watching you, Yasmine. Three glasses were enough. You don’t want to embarrass yourself.” He nudged the glass into my hand. “Drink.”

I creased my brow, giving him one of my hardest stares.  Who did he think he was? My father?

Zack returned my glower with a cool expression, completely unfazed.

“I hate you right now, just so you know,” I said sourly.

“Maybe, but you’ll thank me in the morning. Drink.”

Despite my continued stare, one of his eyebrows rose in direct challenge. The man didn’t back down.

How did he do that? Of all the men I ever dealt with, Zachariah Givens could handle my bullshit and remain unscathed.

Except for Javan. He found my belligerence amusing. In fact, he got off when ‒

“Don’t go there,” Zack said sharply.

I frowned. “Go where?”

“The place where you got hurt. I know what you’re thinking. I’ve been down that path and it’s not worth the time or effort. You’re here, and you’ve done a service to your friend. Despite what you’ve been through, you’re
still
standing.”

“How did you…,” I started, but stopped when the corners of my eyes dampened.

Zack watched, then reached out with his knuckle and wiped away a tear “I just do,” he said softly. After a moment, he reached for my hand. “I’m here anytime you want to talk.”

I squeezed his large palm. The strength of his hand was comforting. Unable to look into his warm eyes, I glanced down at the physical connection. How many months had it been since a man touched me in any way?

Too many.

No man, not a friend, not an acquaintance, and definitely not a lover, ever got this close without being invited.  Yet, here Zack sat in my hotel, the same place where the scene of the hardest night of my life took place, dressed in a tuxedo, and holding my hand as I got emotional. The warmth of his gaze told me he not only felt, but he also understood my pain. He wasn’t after anything, was not deceitful, nor did he intend to hurt me. The only thing Zack offered was words to soothe the ache in my soul.

He was right, though. I couldn’t destroy the work done to make up for the deceit and lies heaped upon Ebony and Brian’s relationship. I ignored the warning signs that Javan was no good. I was too caught up in the man who not only pleased me sexually, but knew how to‒

“Yasmine, you’re doing it again,” Zack snapped. “Stop it.”

My breath caught. How did he know me so well?

“I have an idea,” he said after a moment.

“What?” I asked, wiping at another tear.

He shook his head and lifted the glass again. “I’m not sharing until you drink.”

I drank. When done, I lifted the glass for his inspection. Three glasses of wine and a full glass of water; I was going to need a trip to the ladies room soon.

He stood and reached for my hand. “Good, now, come with me.”

“Where are we going?” I slid my hand into his, enjoying the connection.

Zack inclined his head in the direction of the doors leading to the rose garden. “Outside. You need to walk this off.”

I followed his lead into the night. The April weather was pleasant and I didn’t need a shawl around my bare shoulders.

“Here,” he stopped, unbuttoned his jacket, and slipped it around my shoulders. Zack, being a gentleman, felt otherwise.

I started to object, but his cologne enveloped me as his jacket did. It was warm from his body and felt as if he held me against him again.

“Thank you.” I gripped the edges, holding it to my nose to smell the fabric. A feeling of warmth filled me. I glanced over, glad he didn’t notice me sniffing his clothes.

Zack resumed walking beside me, hands in his pockets, eyes staring ahead. “This is beautiful.”

I forced my eyes away and viewed our surroundings. Low lights illuminated the garden as dusk settled in. Roses of every color adorned the pathway. Varieties of flowers blossomed everywhere. The fragrance of the plants permeated the air. My mother and I fell in love with the garden when scouting for a second hotel location.

“This is my favorite spot. My room has a private patio which leads out here.”

“Your bedroom? You live here?”

I nodded. “For now. Ebony, Kaitlyn, and I rented a house about twenty minutes from here. Ebony moved out shortly after being engaged. Kaitlyn and I stayed until the lease ended. Instead of renewing, she moved in with her boyfriend and I moved here.” I laughed lightly. “At least now I can never be late for work.”

Zack’s chuckle came from somewhere deep within his body. I glanced over and noticed the crinkle in the corner of his eye as he stared down at the path, his wide lips pulled back in a genuine smile.

I allowed my eyes to travel down his body, trying to imagine what his biceps would look like beneath the long sleeves of his white tuxedo shirt. His arms had felt strong when he held me close and led me to the table to sit down.  I stopped for a second, allowing him to take a few steps ahead of me. Yeah, his butt still looked good.

I forced my eyes back to the path.  Zack was my friend, not a piece of meat.

“How long do you plan to stay here?”

I shrugged and forced myself back into the conversation. “Don’t know. With no rent or utilities, I can save for my business. Next week I’ll have my business plan ready for my parents. If all goes well, they’ll give me the capital needed to get it off the ground. But, it always helps to have money set aside.”

Zack nodded. “Sounds like you have a plan.”

“Yes I do. Now it’s time to act. Your mom has pointed me in the right direction. She is full of wonderful advice.”

“She is an amazing woman.” I could hear the pride in his voice.

“How’s work going for you? Got all the minions in line?” I teased.

He smiled again. Zack had the sexiest smile. When he glanced my way, I got caught up in those amazing hazel eyes again.

“Minions? The word you really mean is ‘geeks’ right?”

I laughed. “Hey, I was being nice.”

He shot me a sideways glance and smirked. “The ‘geeks’ are doing just fine. Being the head ‘geek’ has its benefits. But you know me; I prefer working hands on to retail service.”

I ignored the thought struggling to surface from his word choice. “But you’re good at it. You went above and beyond to satisfy me.” I winced internally when he glanced over, a questioning look on his face.

“What can I say, it’s a gift.” His eyes went back down to the path.

Our slow circuit brought us near the open doors leading inside where the reception was in full swing.  We watched the partygoers enjoy the music. A popular song involving a complicated two-step routine had the older couples on the dance floor while younger ones moved aside to clap and cheer.

“I never have been able to do that dance,” I commented.

“It’s not difficult. I can teach you if you want.”

I smirked.

“What? My mom taught me.”

This time I laughed. “Why does that not surprise me?”

He extended a hand. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

I studied his palm, then his eyes. “Why the hell not?” I shrugged out of his jacket, setting it neatly on an empty patio chair.

Zack wasted no time walking me through the steps. Within minutes, he had me twirling and laughing. I was impressed. Not only was the man a good teacher, he had some good moves. Two songs later, we were laughing like children.

What would I have done if he hadn’t come tonight?

As promised, he’d done his part in distracting me from dwelling on the depressing aspects of my life.

All too soon, a slow song played, giving the couples a break. Both of my hands were in his when I released my hold.

Zack didn’t. I looked at our hands, then up into his eyes. The deep hazel irises darkened as his gaze went from fun to something else.

“We should sit down,” I managed, trying to convince myself the increased heartbeat was a result of dancing.

“I disagree.” He released one of my hands and slipped a hand around my waist instead.

It was impossible to escape the sensual smell of his cologne up close and personal mixed with the musk of flesh damp from dancing. A rush of desire covered me from head to toe.