Authors: Emily Goodwin
“You do know it’s illegal to ride with no helmet in New York,” she says with a small smile on her face.
I cross the stone driveway and jog up the steps, stopping just inches in front of her. “I never was one for rules.”
She shakes her head and then bites her lip. In shorts and a tank top with messy hair, the raw version of Pepper is before me. She’s beautiful, and I told her countless times before that she didn’t need all that makeup. Wind blows a loose strand of hair from her braid. I reach out, fingers brushing against the soft skin on her cheek. She closes her eyes and leans into my touch.
I push her hair back and slide my hand behind her head. “I missed you,” I whisper and pull her mouth to mine. The moment our lips touch, passion explodes. Pepper’s arms go around me and she steps in close, pressing her body against mine. She slips her hands under my jacket and starts pulling up my shirt. I press her against the brick wall of the house, kissing her hard.
She turns her head. “Let’s go inside.”
It takes great effort to pull myself from her. I hope she has the intention of picking up where we started, but stopping is good. I need to talk to her, to come clean and let her know she could very well be in danger…and it’s all because of me.
“And I missed you too,” she tells me, and then takes my hand. We go up to her room through the narrow stairs in the kitchen.
“How are you holding up?” I ask.
She gives a small smile. “As good as I can. I’m sorry I was hard on you.”
“Don’t be sorry.”
We get into her room. She closes the door and goes to her bed. I take off my boots and join her, sitting close. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and she rests her head against me.
“Well, I am. I know now that you were only doing what you thought was right. And I know that every decision we make has consequences, even if we didn’t mean for them to happen. Yes, I wish I would have known about my father’s cancer. But it’s not your fault. It’s my father’s, and it’s easier to be mad at you than it is to be mad at him, because you’re alive and he’s not.”
“It’s okay,” I assure her. “Really. And you’re right that I should have told you. If I could go back and change things, I would.” I’d change more than just that if I could go back in time. She relaxes, and I internally cringe. Things are smoothing over, and I need to bring up how I was arrested—more than once—and the fucked up people I was caught up with.
Or still am.
I inhale, breathing in everything about Pepper. The way her hair smells, the heat of her skin, the way her breasts rise and fall and she breathes.
“That day,” I start. “That day I went to Santa Cruz and never came back…It’s complicated, Pepper. But I’ll tell you about it.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “You don’t have to. Let’s just move on.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. And when I was going through my father’s stuff I found emails from your dad. I saw the court documents.”
My pulse goes from zero to sixty. “And you’re okay with it?”
“It’s not your fault. I hate knowing you went through that.”
I blink. Is she serious right now? “I still think I should explain.”
“Gray, it’s okay. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and it’s the past. Let’s leave it there.” She moves onto her knees, twisting so she’s facing me. “We can’t change what happened. You were nineteen and I was eighteen. We were kids, Gray. I have to leave the past in the past and focus on what’s right here, right now. You broke my heart, but I can’t hold you responsible for what your teenage self did.”
I want nothing more than to agree, kiss her, and move on. But I have to tell her. She needs to know that things aren’t over. “I think I should tell you the details, Pepper. A lot of what happened…it made me who I am today.”
“That’s how the past works,” she says with a smile. “The good, the bad…it shapes us. But we can’t keep going back. I’ve made mistakes too.”
None like I have
. “My past is…is a lot more fucked up than most.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she says.
Oh, but it does.
“Sometimes you can let go of the past, but the past doesn’t let go of you.”
“Grayson, whatever happened six years ago that made you not come back doesn’t define you.”
I close my eyes and lower my forehead onto hers. “Sometimes it does,” I whisper and move my hands up to her face, cupping her cheeks. I go to kiss her and she stiffens. “Sorry. I…I don’t know what you want.”
“Neither do I.” She moves her braid behind her back. “That’s a lie. I do know what I want.”
“What, then?”
“I want you to hold me tight and tell me everything is going to be all right. I want you to kiss me and make everything else disappear. I want to believe that things between us can work out, and I want you to tell me that you still love me.”
“I do. I still do. I never stopped loving you.”
“But I’m scared. What if what I want isn’t what I need? I don’t want to get hurt again.” A tear rolls down her cheek. I wipe it away and lean in for a kiss.
“I won’t hurt you,” I promise. It feels like a lie. She could very well get hurt because of me, and that’s kind of the same thing.
“I want to believe you. I want to believe you so much.” She looks into my eyes. “Because I still love you too.”
I cradle her against me, replaying her words in my mind. This is everything I wanted: Pepper accepting my fuck-ups. Moving on. Hearing her say she loves me.
“Grayson?” She moves her head back and locks eyes with me. “Say it again.”
“I love you.”
I can’t resist her any longer. My lips go against hers, and this time she parts them and her tongue goes into my mouth. Her arms wrap around me and she leans back onto the mattress, pulling me down with her. I fall between her legs, cock hardening. She groans when she feels it, thrusting her hips up against my erection.
As satisfying as her kisses are, it’s not enough. I need more of her, to lose myself completely.
“I love you, Pepper,” I say again. “I’ve always loved you.”
She grabs the hem of my shirt and I sit up so she can pull it over my head. It drops on the floor and she runs her hands over my chest, staring at my tattoos. Her finger hovers over a jagged scar on my right peck, hidden beneath black ink. She kisses the scar, then works her way up my neck. I groan as she bites at me, cock so hard it’s almost painful. I need to be inside of her.
I take her top off, throwing it to the side. She’s not wearing a bra, and her pert nipples only intensify my insane desire for her.
“I fucking need you,” she growls, yanking me on top of her. “Take my pants off. Then take off yours.”
I do as I’m told, then dive back onto Pepper, wet tip of my dick rubbing against her hot clit. I move my mouth off hers and kiss my way down. I’m not moving fast enough for her, and Pepper pushes my head between her legs. Her eagerness is so fucking sexy. I get to work, tongue lashing against her, tasting, teasing…it doesn’t take long before her thighs begin to tighten and squeeze together. One hand is in my hair, pulling, and the other is twisting the sheets. I look up, watching her face as she cums. Color breaks out on her cheeks, spreading down her neck and over her chest.
Watching her orgasm is so fucking hot. Almost hot enough to make me cum as well. My cock pulses, aching to be touched. I’m only half aware that I’m reaching for it as I keep kissing Pepper’s most tender region, feeling her squirm against my lips.
I’m getting myself close to the edge without meaning to. I let go of my own cock and push a finger inside Pepper as I continue to work my tongue. She lets out a moan and cums again, wetness spilling from her and she screams.
I kiss the inside of her thighs, wipe my mouth and move on top. Pepper’s eyes are closed and her mouth is open. The aftermath is hitting her, and I can feel her core contracting against my cock.
I put my lips to hers, and knowing she’s tasting herself is such a fucking turn on. I push inside her, letting out a groan along with Pepper. Her arms fall weakly around me, and I thrust in hard and fast, needing a release because she’s got me so incredibly turned on, I almost don’t know what to do with myself. The intense need I have for her is consuming, and I don’t ever want to stop fucking Pepper Davenwood.
Her nails bite into my back and she bucks her hips, making my dick hit her g-spot which brings on another orgasm. Her pussy contracts around my dick, and the way that she clings to me as she cums does me in.
I lower my head, biting her shoulder, coming harder than I ever have before. The orgasm rolls through my whole body, from my toes to my head, sending waves of tingling pleasure through every part of me.
And judging by the way Pepper is writhing, almost unable to process how incredible everything feels, hers is just as intense. I hold myself there inside her for a moment, and then collapse next to her.
“Holy shit,” she pants, hardly able to move. “That was…that was incredible.”
My heart is still racing. “We were always good at this.”
“We still are good at this.”
I smile and kiss her once more. “You’re really okay with everything? Everything you saw on the computer, I mean.”
“I’m not happy with it, of course, but it’s over right? You seemed to have moved on, so I can too.”
Maybe I died. Got stabbed in the back by those prospects and slowly bled to death on my own lawn. Because this is too damn perfect. “I’m sorry I left you, Pepper. I regretted it every day, if that helps.”
“It does. And you left, but you’re here now. That’s all that matters. Let’s start over with no tension.”
“I can do that. Starting over is a good idea.” I prop myself up and hold out my hand. “Hi, I’m Grayson. Forget I just fucked you senseless a few minutes ago. It’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m Pepper,” she says with a laugh and shakes my hand. “And it’s nice to meet you too.”
“Can I take you on a date tomorrow, Pepper?”
“Hmmm, I don’t know. I usually don’t go places with strangers.”
Her fingers brush over the fresh scabs on my knuckles I got from punching those two assholes. “What happened?”
“Scraped my hand doing yard work.” The lie comes out of me before I have time to think it through. Things are so fucking perfect right now, I don’t want to mess it up or worry her. I’ll tell her in the morning.
She kisses the wound. “Poor baby.” She rests her head on my chest. I hold her tight, running my fingertips up and down her arm. In just minutes she’s asleep, which doesn’t surprise me considering everything she’s been through in the last few weeks. She has to be exhausted. Hell, I am too, though despite how worn out I am, I can’t seem to fall asleep, and when I do, my dreams twist into nightmares about blood and steel.
*
“I have to go into the office today,” Pepper tells me. It’s early in the morning and we just got done fucking again. Our bodies—sweaty and naked—are draped over each other’s, unsure of where one ends and the other begins. “It shouldn’t take me long. I have to give my uncle some papers I found in my dad’s penthouse office.” She laces her fingers through mine. “But I really don’t want to leave this bed. We have to make up for lost time, you know.”
I flip her over, moving my hand between her legs. She’s still hot and wet from me fucking her not long ago. Hot and wet and ready for more.
And now I am too.
“Where are you taking me for our date?” she asks.
“I have no idea,” I admit. “I’ll think of something…or maybe I’ll convince you we don’t need to go anywhere.”
“You already have.” Her eyes meet mine and I’m reminded again how much I fucking love this woman. “I’m glad you’re here again,” she says softly.
“I am too…and that you let me be here again.”
“I tried getting over you,” she confesses. “I tried for years. You were always in the back of my mind, and no one could compare.”
“How could they? I am pretty awesome,” I tease.
“Did you think of me every once in a while when you were away?”
“You lived in my mind. My thoughts were consumed with you. I would have done anything to go back to you, please know that.”
“I do now.”
We stay wrapped up in each other’s arms for a while longer before Pepper gets up to use the bathroom. She returns looking sexy as hell in only my t-shirt.
“Are you hungry? I can have something brought up.”
I grab her by the waist and bring her close. “I love how you have room service in your own house.”
“You know, we really owe it to the kitchen staff for never saying anything, back when we were teenagers. All those nights you snuck over and stayed…I’d order food pretending it was for me. They had to know something was up. You ate enough to feed a small country.”
“We were obvious back then. I’m sure more people knew what we were doing than we thought.”
We both laugh and Pepper runs her hands through my hair. “We don’t have to sneak around anymore. What a difference six years makes, right? But this,” she says and looks me in the eyes. “This feels right. Six years has passed and I feel comfortable around you, like that time lost is suddenly found.”