faceâ
and could nearly believe, in spite of myself, that the
world was born
anew, all curses cancelled.
“But at times in dreams I saw
the merry old god of rivers, who laughed in the North,
untouched
by the sorrows that unhinge man. And at other times I
dreamed
I stood in the sacred grove of Artemis and searched for
something.
It would soon be dawn, the rim of the mountains
already on fire.
I must hurry. I must struggle to remember. Whatever
it was I sought,
it was near, as near as my heartbeat. I heard a footstep.
Or was it?
A swish like the blade of a scythe ⦠that I
remembered ⦠And I
would scream, and Jason would hold me, his eyes
impenetrable.
“So the days passed, and on the seventh day we left the isle of the Phaiakians, the
Argo
loaded to the beams with Phaiakian treasure. King Alkinoös
gave
strong men to replace all those we'd lost from the
rowing benches
in our dark wanderings, and Arete sent six maidens with
me
to comfort and serve me as once I was served at home.
On the shore
King Alkinoös and his queen stretched up their hands
and prayed
to the gods for our easy passage and final forgiveness
for crimes
committed of harsh necessity; and the people kneeled, the whole population, weeping. And so we left the
place,
sailing for home. I rolled the sound on my tongue.
For home.
I started, cried out. For out of the corner of my eye,
I thought,
I'd caught a glimpse of the river-god combing his beard,
watching us,
terrible god from the beginning of things, who laughed
at guilt.
âJason!' I whispered.
“ âEasy, my love,' said Jason, smiling.
They were all smiling, their eyes like the gods' dark
mirror, the sea.”
I awakened and looked in alarm for Medeia. The voice
had ceased
and the winds that tumble and roar in spaceâso I
thought in my dreamâ
were swallowed to nothing. I clung to the bole of the
oak like a bat.
Then came a shimmering light, sea-green on every side, blurred cloudshapes, moving, like crowds of sea-beasts
hemming me in.
The silence changed; it swelledâmore swift than a
falling towerâ
to a boom, sharp voices of angry men. And now,
suddenly,
my eyes focussed, or the universe focussed, life crashed
in on me:
sweat-dank, bearded sailors milling like bees in a hive, howling against some outrage, I knew not what.
I'd grown
more solid, it seemed. When they bumped me, hurriedly
elbowing past,
I staggered. They tromped my feet, jostled me,
caved in my hat
with no apology, hardly a glance. Wold-I, nold-I, I moved with the crowd. Men all around and ahead of
me jumped,
clambered for a view, shook fists, shouted. I caught a
few snatches.
Someone was dead, murdered by the king, the crew
of some ship
arrested by Kreon's police. Some voice of authority
bellowed
from a raised platform somewhere ahead of us, but his
cries were drowned
by the roar of the mob. I struggled for breath, shouted for the goddess, but no help came. Some man at my
back growled bitterly,
“Corinth is cursed. We were fools to come.” Another
voice answered,
“Everywhere's cursed.” I craned my neck to see who'd
spoken,
but they all looked alike, their tanned hides toughened
by gale and salt
to the thickness of a twice-baked galley biscuit. At their
necks hung daggers
with thong-wrapped handles and serried blades. On
their wrists, brass sheaths
ornate with dragons and monsters of the deep. Then
someone seized
my shoulderâso fierce that my arm went numb and
I shoutedâand without
a glance, he shoved me away and down. In horror I
felt myself
falling to the mud, my spectacles dangling,
precariously hooked
by one ear. I squealed like a rat incinerated, my mind all terror, my left hand clutching at my
spectacles, right hand
stretching to snatch some hold on the sweatwashed back
of the giant
in front of me. I fell, sank deep in the mud; the
maniacal
crowd came on, stepping on my legs, battering my ribs. On the back of my left hand, blurry as a cloud, fell
a scarlet drop
of blood. “Dear goddess!” I whimpered. I'd surely gone
mad. It was
no dream, surely, this jangling pain! A foot sank, blind, on the four fingers of my thin right hand and
buried them;
thick yellow water swirled where they'd been, then
reddened with blood.
My mind grew befuddled. My vision was awash. Then hands seized me, painfully jerked me upward, at
the same time
heaving back at the crowd. I gave myself up to the
stranger,
clinging still to my spectacles. My rescuer shouted, struck at the crowd with his one free arm like a
wounded gorilla.
We came to a wall, a doorway; he dragged me inside,
put me down
on a pile of skins, and scraped the bloodstained mud
from my face.
Gradually, my vision cleared. I remembered my
spectacles
and, finding a part of my vest still dry, I wiped them, as well as I could. One lens was cracked
like a sunburst,
a small piece missing. The other was whole. My rescuer,
seeing
what I struggled to do, though he had no faintest idea
what it meant,
brought me water in a jug, poured it on the lenses,
then offered
a cloth. When at last I could see again, we looked at
each other.
He was young; not intelligent, or so I suspected, his face
defeatured
in its lionish, square-jawed frame. His small gray eyes
were round
with amazement. I might have been an elf, a merman,
a unicorn's child.
Behind him, three women and a man, in the robes of
shop-people,
bent at the waist to stare at me. And still, outside, in the blinding brightness, the rioting sailors pressed
and shouted.
The young man turned, following my gaze. Then all
at once
some change came over the crowd. There were cries
of alarm, loud questions.
The crowd rolled back, retreating from the pressure in
front. The women
and the bearded manâhis beard came nearly to his
kneesâcame bustling
to the door, peeked timidly out, their silhouettes
blocking the light.
They gave sharp yells, all four of them at once, and
rushed to us, reaching,
chattering gibberishâsome argot Greek or Semitic
tongue
I couldn't identifyâand pushed us farther from the
door into darkness.
I caught a glimpseâas I plunged with them in past
bolts of cloth,
calfskins, wickerwork, leatherâof Kreon's police force,
armed
with naked swords and whips, great helmets like mitres
that shone
brass-red. Each time a whip flashed out, some man fell
screaming
to the yellow mud, his torn arms clenching his head.
Then darkness;
we'd come to a deeper stall, the air full of spicesâaloes, cloves and saffron and cinnamon ⦠They whispered in the language foreign to me. We waited for a long
time.
My eyes adjusted to the dimness a little, and I saw the
old man
was as thin and ashen as an old wood spoon. His
marmoset face
was covered like a cheap plaster wall with bumps and
nodes like droppings
of mason's grout; his tiny eyes were like silver coins. He pulled at his beard with his fingers, watching in
secret alarm
(as I watched him) for signs that I might prove
dangerous.
His wife was brown and swollen, sullen, the others buxom and dimpled, country odalisques with dull, seductive eyes. All four of them watched
me in fear,
exactly as they'd watched the crowd, the Corinthian
police. I grinned.
The four grinned back, and the man who'd saved me;
a glow of teeth
in the cavern-dark of wares. The merchant brought
wine. We drank.
   When the streets were quiet, we crept back out, down
wynds and alleys
to a silent squareâfother by the walls, abandoned
winejugs,
wases of straw and faggots, wrecked carts ⦠It was
dusk. Here and there
men lay still, as if asleep, sprawled out in the mud,
on cobblestones,
drawn up onto the stoops of shops that stared at the
empty
twilit square like lepers waiting for blessing. We wentâ the man who had saved my life and Iâto a man who sat some twenty feet from the door of the shop that
protected us.
He sat with his face in his drawn-up knees, as if
weeping, or sick.
I touched his shoulder. He fell over slowly, indifferently,
dead.
My friend looked at me and nodded. He held out his
hand, palm up.
I understood, put my palm on his. He nodded again, unsmiling; and so we parted.
I had no desire now
to climb that hill to Kreon's palace. My body ached from the soles of my feet to the crown of my head.
My clothes were ragged,
damp and bespattered, mud-stained. My right-hand
fingers were numb
and misshapen; broken, I believed. However, I climbed
as far
as the first of the palace pools, where I meant to wash
the blood off,
caked on my hands and face. I studied my reflection,
amazed:
hat battered like a tramp's, the pockets of my suitcoat
ripped,
my nose grotesquely swollen, the spectacles tilted, bent. I straightened my glasses as well as I could, then tucked
them in my pocket.
In the stone gray sky above, bats circled. The city was
still.
Then someone spoke to me. “See it to the end.” I wiped
the water
from my eyes and looked. He stared gravely at nothing
âthe ancient
seer of Apollo whom I'd seen, long since, with Jason.
I hooked
my spectacles over my ears and looked more closely:
a man
so calm he seemed to encompass Time like a vase.
He said:
“See it to the end. The gods require it.” He turned
away,
and I saw only now the boy with him, his guide. I
struggled
to speak, but couldn't. I glanced up the hill at the
palace, aglow
like the galaxy with torches. When I turned to the seer
again
he was moving slowly downhill, leaning hard on the
boy. I found
my voice and called, “Teiresias!” He turned, waiting. I realized in alarm we had nothing to say.
Enveloped
in a mist that hid me from the watch, I climbed to the
palace. The crowd
was thinner by half than when last I'd listened to
Jason speak.
It filled me with dread. I knew well enough what the
reason was.
The best had abandoned the contest, and not because
Jason appeared
to be winning. The brutal quelling of the riot, tyrannic
use
of the law's whole force on their own long-suffering,
disgruntled crewsâ
and perhaps something more, the murder I'd heard of,
the crew arrestedâ
had turned them to scorn of Corinth and Corinth's
prize. Without
a word, I suspected, they'd turned their steps to the
harbor and sailed
for home. I was partly wrong, I learned later. There
were shouts in the palace,
young kings outraged, old kings quietly astounded at
Kreon's
ways. But my guess was right in this: the best who'd
come
had abandoned Corinth, prepared to become, on further
provocation,
her enemies.
   I moved, among those who remained, to a stairway, a raised place where I could see. Except for the kings
who'd departed
all was the same, I thoughtâthe princess Pyripta in
her chair
of gold, with her hand on her eyes (her light-filled hair
fell softly,
swirling, enclosing her shoulders as if as protection);
Kreon
stern in his place, lips pursed, eyes squeezed half shut;
the goddesses
listening, watching like kestrels, except Aphrodite,
who sat
half-dreaming, studying Jason and Pyripta. I noticed
at last
that Kreon's slave Ipnolebes was missing, as was the blond Northerner, Amekhenos. But I had no time
to brood much on it. Jason was speaking. His voice
was gentle,
troubled, I thought. How much had he seen, in his
lordly isolation,
of the day's events? I saw him with the eyes of the
young Medeia,
stunned in her father's courtyard. He would have been
thinner then,
as big in the chest, less thick in the waist, his gestures
tentative,
boyish despite all those daring deeds already. His eyes seemed hardly the eyes of a power-grabber. What was
he, then?
Yet perhaps I knew. His guarded glance at the princess,
for instance.
Age-old hunger of vanity, hunger to be loved just one more time, and just one more, one moreâgive the