Read Je Suis a Toi (Monsters in the Dark Book 4) Online
Authors: Pepper Winters
Je Suis a Toi (Monsters in the Dark Book 4) (21 page)
DEAR DIARY,
No, that didn’t sound right. Far too light-hearted for my tale.
Dear Universe,
Scratch that. Too grandiose.
To The Person Reading This.
Too vague.
To The Person I Wish Would Help Me
.
That would get me in trouble. And I refused to sound weak. Not if these words were the only thing strangers would remember me by.
To…
Tapping the broken pencil against my temple, I did my best to focus. For weeks, I’d been confined like a zoo animal being acclimatised to its new world. I’d been fed, washed, and given medical attention from my rough arrival. I had a bed with sheets, a flushing toilet, and shampoo in the shower. I had the basics that all human and nonhuman life required.
But I wasn’t living.
I was dying.
They just couldn’t see it.
Wait…I know.
Inspiration struck as I came up with the perfect name to address this sad letter to. The title was the only right in this wrong, wrong new world.
To No One.
The moment the three words were pressed into my poor parchment, I couldn’t stop the memories unfolding. My left hand shook as I kept the toilet tissue flat while my right flew, slowly transcribing my past.
I WAS EIGHTEEN when I died.
I remember the day better than any other in my short life. And I know you’re rolling your eyes, saying it only happened three weeks ago, but believe me, I will never forget this. I know some people say certain events are forever imprinted on their psyche, and up until now, I haven’t had anything stick in such a way. You see, No One, I guess you could’ve called me a brat. Some might even say I deserve this. No, that’s a lie. No one would wish this on their worst enemy. But the fact remains, only you know I’m not dead. I’m alive and in this cell about to be sold to the highest bidder. I’ve been hurt, touched, violated in every sense but rape, and been stripped of everything I used to be.
But to my mother? I’m dead. I died. I vanished. Who knows if she’ll ever truly find out what happened to me.
The scribbling of my pencil stopped.
My will to stay breathing had vanished. It’d taken them a while to break me. But they had. And now that they’d achieved their goal, I was nothing more than cargo waiting for the transaction to line their pockets with my sale.
I sucked in a ragged breath. For days, all I’d had for entertainment were my chaotic thoughts, awful memories, and overwhelming panic of what lay ahead of me. But that was until I found the chewed up, snapped in half pencil beneath the bed.
The find had been better than food or freedom; better because both of those things were minutely controlled by my traffickers. I had no power to sway the regimented arrival of breakfast and dinner nor the ability to halt the fact I was being sold like meat to the highest bidder.
I had no control over being alone in a tiny room that had once been a hotel suite before its premises were bought for more unsavoury stays. The towels were threadbare with the sigil of some long ago establishment and the carpet swirled with golds and bronze hinting the decor hadn’t been updated since the seventies.
Was that how long the pencil had lurked beneath my bed? Were the bite marks on the wood given by a rowdy toddler waiting for its parents to stop fussing so they could explore a new city? Or had a maid lost it while tucking starched white sheets with military precision?
I’d never know.
But I liked to make up fantasises because I had nothing else to do. I spent my achingly long days going over every nook and cranny of my jail. They’d broken my spirit, washed away my fight, but they couldn’t stop the determined urge inside me. The instinct everyone had—or at least, I
thought
everyone had.
I’d been alone for so long, I didn’t know what the other girls I was processed with would do. Did they lie star-spread on the bed and wait for their future? Did they huddle in the corner and beg for their fathers to stop this nightmare? Or did they accept, because it was easier to accept than to fight?
Me? I ran my rubbed-raw fingertips over every wall, every crack, every painted up window frame. I crawled on my hands and knees, searching for something to help me. And by help me, I didn’t know if I meant as a weapon to fight my way out or something to end my struggle before it truly began.
It’d taken me days to go over every square inch. But all I’d found was this half-mangled pencil. A gift. A treasure. The nub was almost down to the wood and I wouldn’t have long before I had to find ways to sharpen my precious possession, but I’d worry about that another day. Just like I’d become a master at shoving aside my worries about everything else.
The one thing I didn’t find was any paper. Not in the drawers of the beat-up desk or in the cupboard beneath the non-functioning television. The only apparatus I could write on was toilet-paper and the pencil wasn’t too keen on that idea, tearing the soft tissue rather than imprinting its silvery lines.
Nevertheless, I was determined to leave some sort of note behind. Some piece of me that these bastards hadn’t taken and never would.
Taking a deep breath, I shoved aside my current conditions and clutched the pencil harder. Glancing at the door to make sure I was alone (I had three hours before dinner was served through the hole in the wall), I spread out my square of toilet paper to make it tight and writable and continued with my note.
I wish I could say a monster killed me. That a terrible accident caused this. And I can say that…to a degree.
However, the real reason I’m dead and a new toy about to be sold is mainly because of my upbringing.
That poise and confidence my mother drilled into me? It didn’t grant me in good stead for a profitable career or handsome husband. It pissed people off. I came across as stuck-up, know-it-all, and vain.
It made me a target.
I don’t know if anyone will ever see this but you, No One, but if they do, I hope they forget what I’m about to admit. I’m an only daughter to a single parent. I love my mother. I do.
But if I ever survive what’s about to happen to me and by some miracle I find freedom again, I’ll keep this next part to myself when I account my time in purgatory.
I love my mother, but I hate her.
I miss my mother, but I never want to see her again.
I obeyed my mother, but I want to curse her for eternity.
She’s the only one I can blame.
The one responsible for me becoming nothing more than a whore.
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Pepper Winters is a multiple New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today International Bestseller. She loves romance, star-crossed lovers, and anything to do with character connection. She strives to write a story that makes the reader crave what they shouldn't, and delivers tales with complex plots and unforgettable characters.
After chasing her dreams to become a full-time writer, Pepper has earned recognition with awards for best Dark Romance, best BDSM Series, and best Hero. She's a multiple #1 iBooks bestseller, along with #1 in Erotic Romance, Romantic Suspense, Contemporary, and Erotica Thriller. She's also honoured to wear the IndieReader Badge for being a Top 10 Indie Bestseller, and signed a two book deal with Hachette. Represented by Trident Media, her books have garnered foreign and audio interest and are currently being translated into numerous languages. They will be in available in bookstores worldwide.
Her Dark Romance books include
:
Monsters in the Dark Trilogy
Tears of Tess (Monsters in the Dark #1)
Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)
Twisted Together (Monsters in the Dark #3)
Je Suis à Toi (Monsters in the Dark #3.5)
* * * * *
Indebted Series
Debt Inheritance (Indebted #1)
First Debt (Indebted Series #2)
Second Debt (Indebted Series #3)
Third Debt (Indebted Series #4)
Fourth Debt (Indebted Series #5)
Final Debt (Indebted Series #6)
Indebted Epilogue (Indebted Series #7)
* * * * *
Her Grey Romance books include
:
Ruin & Rule (Pure Corruption MC #1)
Sin & Suffer (Pure Corruption MC #2)
* * * * *
Her standalone contemporary books include:
* * * * *
Her Upcoming Releases include:
2016
:
Super Secret Series
2016:
Indebted Beginnings (Indebted Series Prequel)
2016-17
Dark Romance Trilogy
* * * * *
Her Audio Books include:
Monsters in the Dark Series (releasing June 2016)
Indebted Series (One and Two Out Now)
Ruin & Rule / Sin & Suffer (Out now)
Destroyed / Unseen Messages (releasing 2016)
***
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All other titles and updates can be found on her
Goodreads Page.
(Tears of Tess, Quintessentially Q, Twisted Together combined into this Playlist)
Demons by Imagine Dragons
Bring Me Back To Life by Evanescence
Arms by Christina Perri
Dark Paradise by Lana Del Ray
Undisclosed Desires by Muse
Animal by Disturbed
ET by Katy Perry
Halo by Depeche Mode
Monster by Imagine Dragons
Coldplay by Magic
Never Tear Us Apart by INXS
Adore by Miley Cyrus
Broken by Lifehouse
Between the Raindrops by Lifehouse
Everything by Lifehouse
Breath of Life by Florence & the Machine
She is by The Fray
Love Don’t Die by The Fray
End of Time by Lacuna Coil
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
The Lonely by Christina Perri
My Heart is Broke by Evanescence
Addicted to you by Avici
Marry the Night by Lady Gaga
Something I need by One Republic
Darkside by Kelly Clarkson
Hunter by 30STM
Monster by Rihanna & Dr Dre
Move like a Sinner by What Now
Deep Inside by Third Eye Blind
Everlong by Foo Fighters
My Immortal by Evanescence
Do What You Want by Lady Gaga
Pictures of You by The Cure
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Dark Horse by Katy Perry
Cold by Crossfade
Die for You by Megan McCauley
My Last Breath by Evanescence
Moondust by Jaymes
Skyscraper by Demi Lavato
Complete Duology
Ruin & Rule (Pure Corruption MC #1)
"We met in a nightmare. The in-between world where time had no power over reason. We fell in love. We fell hard. But then we woke up. And it was over . . ."
***
Sin & Suffer (Pure Corruption MC #2)
“Some say the past is in the past. That vengeance will hurt both innocent and guilty. I never believed those lies.”
***************
Complete Trilogy
Tears of Tess (Monsters in the Dark #1)
“My life was complete. Happy, content, everything neat and perfect.
Then it all changed.
I was sold.”
***
Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)
“All my life, I battled with the knowledge I was twisted… screwed up to want something so deliciously dark—wrong on so many levels. But then slave fifty-eight entered my world. Hissing, fighting, with a core of iron, she showed me an existence where two wrongs do make a right."
***
Twisted Together (Monsters in the Dark #3)
“After battling through hell, I brought my esclave back from the brink of ruin. I sacrificed everything—my heart, my mind, my very desires to bring her back to life. And for a while, I thought it broke me, that I’d never be the same. But slowly the beast is growing bolder, and it’s finally time to show Tess how beautiful the dark can be.”
***************
Complete Series
Debt Inheritance (Indebted Series #1)
"I own you. I have the piece of paper to prove it. It's undeniable and unbreakable. You belong to me until you've paid off your debts."
***
First Debt (Indebted Series #2)
“You say I’ll never own you. If I win—you willingly give me that right. You sign not only the debt agreement, but another—one that makes me your master until your last breath is taken. You do that, and I’ll give you this.”
***
Second Debt (Indebted #3)
"I tried to play a game. I tried to wield deceit as perfectly as the Hawks. But when I thought I was winning, I wasn't. Jethro isn't what he seems--he's the master of duplicity. However, I refuse to let him annihilate me further."
***
Third Debt (Indebted #4)
“She healed me. She broke me. I set her free. But we are in this together. We will end this together. The rules of this ancient game can’t be broken.”
***
Fourth Debt (Indebted #5)
“We’d won. We’d cut through the lies and treachery and promised an alliance that would free us both. But even as we won, we lost. We didn’t see what was coming. We didn’t know we had to plan a resurrection.”
***
Final Debt (Indebted #6)
"I'm in love with her, but it might not be enough to stop her from becoming the latest victim of the Debt Inheritance. I know who I am now. I know what I must do. We will be together--I just hope it's on Earth rather than in heaven."
***
Indebted Epilogue (Indebted #7)
INDEBTED EPILOGUE is a bonus book to be read after the series.
***************
Standalones
Destroyed (Grey Romance)
She has a secret.
He has a secret.
One secret destroys them.
***
Unseen Messages (Survival Romance)
They crash landed together.
But if the island doesn’t kill them.
Desire just might.