Jealousy (14 page)

When I felt satisfied that I knew how many strides I'd be asking for between jumps, I rejoined the group, took Whisper's reins, and remounted. This course was longer than usual, with fourteen jumps, but I felt that Whisper and I could handle it. All we could do was our best.

“Whenever you're ready,” Mr. Conner said.

I took a breath and turned Whisper away from the other horses and riders. Mr. Conner guided them out of the arena, and I halted Whisper at the arena entrance. Even though we weren't being timed, our time would have started the second Whisper had set foot in the large practice space.

I squeezed my legs against Whisper's sides, asking for a trot, and quickly let her out into a slow canter. I kept a firm grip on the reins, so she didn't get too excited before the first jump and rush. We cleared a simple white vertical and, a few strides later, jumped a higher vertical. I let Whisper gain a little speed as she moved to the third
jump, an oxer. This one didn't have a particularly large spread, and she cleared it easily. But there was another oxer immediately after, and Whisper dug her heels into the ground as she pushed off to clear the wider spread. I held my breath for a second, afraid she'd clip the rail with her back hooves, but we landed cleanly, and the rail stayed in place.

I smiled, but quickly refocused. We had a long way to go.

Whisper took a higher vertical, bright orange poles, as if she was stepping over a ground pole. I did a half halt and slowed her before a triple combination, the blue-and-white rails looking a little daunting. Whisper cleared the first third of the jump, took one stride, vaulted into the air and landed on the other side of the middle combo, and with one more stride lifted off the ground to clear the final part of the triple combination.

We cantered away, and all the poles had stayed in their cups.
Yes
! I thought.
I want to kiss Whisper's muzzle right now!
I was so giving her extra,
extra
treats when we finished. Mr. Conner gave us several strides and a short half turn in the arena before Whisper jumped a plastic wall that looked just like stone.

After the wall, she cleared a vertical and an oxer and
we cantered toward a faux water jump. The tarp had a decent spread, so I let Whisper quicken her canter. She flicked her ears back and forth, weaving a little. Water jumps weren't her favorite. Fake water or not.

I squeezed my legs tighter around her sides and urged her forward, letting her know that running out on the jump or refusing weren't options. As Whisper prepared to launch over the tarp, I felt a tiny ripple through her muscles as she shuddered a little. I gave her more rein and tapped my boots against her sides, encouraging her to keep moving. Whisper landed with her back hooves inches away from the tarp. That was my girl!

The rest of the course was easy. We conquered another vertical, an oxer as the twelfth jump, a high vertical, and finished with a triple combination.

When Whisper cantered away from the course, I switched my reins to my right hand and petted her neck. I didn't care what critiques I was about to receive.
I
was more than proud of my horse, and in my eyes she'd given me the perfect ride and put her whole heart into it. I couldn't have asked for more.

WHEN MY ALARM WENT OFF AT FIVE ON
Wednesday morning, I had already been awake for what seemed like hours. Drew and I were
finally
going to see each other and swim. The thought of seeing Drew and working out with him made me too excited to sleep! I rolled onto my side and stopped my vibrating phone. I slid out of my warm bed and padded to my desk chair, where I'd laid out my clothes for the morning.

I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom, stopping in the doorway. On the other side of the dark room, Khloe was still asleep. She was buried under a pile of purple-and-hot-pink flannel sheets and a matching comforter. She had an arm over her rainbow unicorn Pillow Pet, Sparkles.

Good
, I thought.
She helped me so much last night.

I shut the bathroom door behind me and turned on the light. The night before last Khloe had helped me pick the perfect I-just-pulled-this-out-of-my-closet outfit to wear on my way to the pool. She'd also helped me pick my bathing suit. I'd only brought one when I'd come to Canterwood, and it didn't feel like
the
suit I wanted to wear to swim with Drew.

Khloe had helped me search online for a new suit. We each used our own computers and looked through four stores. Khloe had Delia's and Target, and I searched Macy's and a Brooklyn sportswear store where I'd bought swimsuits before.

We'd each picked three suits and then showed each other our choices. Instantly we'd agreed that Khloe had picked The Suit—a bright pink tankini with purple ruched hipster bottoms. I'd scored on the price, since it
was
November, and had saved enough money to pay to have the suit shipped overnight. I'd tried it on yesterday, and it had fit perfectly. A bathing suit wasn't all that I'd need to wear, though. I had to have
something
on to get from Hawthorne to the gym.

Khloe had gone through my closet and had pulled together an outfit in under two minutes. It was a game
she and I had unintentionally created last week, when I'd helped Khlo find an outfit in a hurry. Now, whenever one of us wanted help from the other, we tried to form a complete outfit in two minutes or less.

Khloe's choices were perfect. She'd picked sapphire-blue velour Xhilaration pants and a matching hoodie. A long-sleeve white thermal shirt and my gray-and-lilac Pumas completed the look. Once I'd slid into my suit and finished dressing, I twisted my hair back with a clip.

I reached for my Yes to Cucumbers face wipes and pulled out one of the moist towelettes. I wiped away the sleepiness from my eyes and the oily shine that had accumulated on my T-zone overnight. The fresh scent was invigorating and calming to my skin all at once. I rubbed a pearl-size amount of lotion onto my face and double-checked the mirror for any blemishes that might have popped up overnight. I squinted but didn't see anything. I took the clip out of my hair, shaking out my locks.

I brushed my hair and quickly put it in a French braid, leaving a few wisps of hair free. I didn't want to spend much time on my hair, since it was going to get wet anyway in a few minutes.

“Okay,” I said to my reflection in the mirror. “It's now or never. Just go.”

Khloe had flipped onto her other side and was facing the wall when I shut and locked our door behind me. Hawthorne was silent. I tiptoed down the hall and eased open the entrance door.

Freezing air felt like it pricked any exposed skin when I stepped outside. I hurried down the steps and broke into a jog. I wanted to warm up my body
and
get to the gym faster. I ran around the empty courtyard, passed the empty tennis courts, and jogged around the covered outdoor pool.

I slowed to a walk when I saw Drew. His shock of black hair was a little tousled in the morning.

“Hey, you copied me. You're in Puma sneakers too,” I called to him.

Drew laughed and looked down at his tracksuit. He'd chosen a black Puma jacket, matching pants with a white stripe down the side, and a white T-shirt. And Puma sneakers.

“It does look like we called each other and decided what to wear before we went out, doesn't it?” Drew asked.

“Totally,” I said. “If our bathing suits match, though, I'm going to feel
really
ripped off.”

We both laughed, and Drew pulled open the door for me. I stepped inside the pool area and let out an appreciative sigh for the warm air.

“This is a way better idea than trying not to turn into icicles by jogging,” I said.

Drew unzipped his jacket and tossed it onto the lowest row of bleachers. “For sure. I'm still going to make you jog with me, though, even when there are three feet of snow on the ground.”

I tugged off my hoodie and put a hand on my hip. “Excuse me? I never promised to run in the snow!”

Drew kicked off his sneakers, grinning. “Fine. I won't ask you to run. We'll go snowshoeing.”

I stared at him. “
Snowshoeing?
You mean that ‘sport' where people trek through the snow for miles with giant tennis rackets strapped to their feet?”

“Yep,” Drew said simply. The pool water reflected in his eyes and made them look extra blue.

“Okay, Adams. Game on. Today, swimming. Next month, snowshoeing.”

Drew, laughing, headed for the far end of the pool. I watched him walk away shirtless and in long black swim trunks.

Um. Whoa.

My bare feet felt stuck to the tile floor. I was in my bathing suit too, and Drew had made it so easy to get undressed in front of him. It had been something I'd
worried about since he'd first suggested swimming. I'd been swimming at the lake at home plenty of times with a group of friends from school or riders from Briar Creek, and there were always guys. But I'd never swum alone with a boy before. Part of me had thought I'd get into the pool
with
my pants and shirt on, but that thought had disappeared the moment I'd met Drew outside.

I bent my right knee and touched the water with my other foot.
Parfait!

“You're not getting in at
that
end, are you, Towers?” Drew called. He was suspended over the pool on a low diving board.

“You're diving in?” I asked. “Is it deep enough?”

Drew dropped his teasing act and nodded. “It's just over twelve feet deep at this end, so it's safe. Don't try to dive in anywhere else, though.”

“I won't, trust me.” I walked along the edge of the pool toward Drew. “I don't know how to dive.”

“Do you want to learn?” Drew turned, walked off the board, and stopped in front of me. “I could teach you.”

“I'd love to be able to dive. But my friends have been trying to teach me for years, and I never learned how. I always end up doing a belly flop or jumping straight in.”

Drew waved his hand. “Belly flops end this morning.
By the time we leave the gym, you'll be diving.”

A little bit of nerves pulsed through me. “You sure? You came to work out this morning, not play swimming coach.”

Drew smiled. It was the gentle, soft smile that soothed my nerves. “I'm sure, Laur.” He held out his hand to me. I placed my still chilled hand into his warm one. Tingles! He led me in the direction of the deep end of the pool. “I promise that you'll be able to add ‘diver' to your list of skills once we're done.”

I reached for my throat to play with my necklace. I was surprised when it wasn't there. Then I remembered that I'd taken off all my jewelry before coming this morning.

“We're not going to start on the diving board,” Drew said. “We'll start from the edge of the pool, and I'll do a couple of dives so you can watch my body formation first. Then you can try. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said.

Drew stood straight, raising both arms above his head. “See how my arms are against my ears?”

“Yes.”

“That's how you should be. So you'll stand straight, turn to the pool, and bend at your torso.”

“That's the part where I always mess up,” I said,
blushing a little. “It always feels like I'm falling into the pool, and it feels like my instincts kick in and my body wants to stop it. That's why I always end up belly flopping or not even trying at all and just jumping right in.”

Drew lowered his arms and looked at me. “I understand the fear of falling. Believe me. Even though my
brain
knows there's water for me to sink into, there's always still a tiny voice in my head telling me, ‘Diving? That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard!' ”

His story made me laugh. “Glad I'm not the only one.”

“You're not. I promise. And, Laur? I'm sorry for bringing this up, but I wonder if diving will help you in some way with your accident.”

I stilled, memories of that awful day flashing a million times per second in front of me.

“How do you think it could help?” I asked, my voice soft.

Drew was so close to me, I could smell whatever minty toothpaste he'd used this morning.

“It might help you get over your fear of falling. You've already conquered your fear of falling from horseback by riding again, but who knows? Maybe something different—another fear of falling conquered—would help too.”

Slowly I shook my head.

“Did I say something wrong?” Drew asked. His voice was thick with concern.

“Oh, no! Not at all. I was just thinking how . . .,” I paused, realizing what I was about to say and hoping I didn't freak him out. “I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life. I'm so, so happy we're together.”

Drew smiled—a grin that showed off all of his white teeth—and reached out to squeeze my hand. “I think I'm the lucky one. You tell me you're happy that I'm in your life
after
we're finished with diving lessons.”