Jennifer's Garden (31 page)

For some reason, Jennifer couldn’t take her eyes from his.  She seemed to be missing something.  Searching.

It was then she noticed it. 
The nick by his eye
.

The significance took her breath away. 

Usually concealed in a bevy of laugh lines, the scar didn’t stand out.  But right now, Jax was uncommonly cool, unusually grin-free and the scar looked like a scar, protruding from the corner of his eye.

Like
Constantine
’s
.  Her body went limp.

Jax reached out for her.  “Hey—are you okay?”

“What?”  Walls of blackness crowded her vision.  An uncanny sensation trickled into her consciousness.  Staring at him blankly, she tried to reengage.  “Yes...of course...”

But mind-numbing shock squeezed harder.  She felt strange, as if temporarily disconnected from her body.  Suspended.

For a second, she feared she might faint.

“You don’t look so good.”

“I, uh,” she stepped back to give herself some space.  “I—it’s hot.”  Consumed by a sudden pounding in her chest, a heavy ringing in her ears, she turned away.

“Let me get you some water.”

“No.”

“Please...”

The concern she saw flooding into his brown eyes undercut further objection.  “Okay...”

“I’ll be right back,” he said, and jogged off.

Jennifer ran shaky fingers through her hair as she looked down at the ground. 
This couldn’t be happening
.  It was a dream.  Constantine was a fantasy.  He wasn’t real.  She was drawing similarities, making correlations, imagining things that didn’t exist.

Pulling her head up, she turned slowly and trailed Jax’s return. 
This was crazy
.  Nothing more than coincidence.  But as he drew near, she thought she detected familiarity...

It was in the eyes.  Unsmiling, they were dark and intense, like Constantine’s could be when overcome by emotion.

Stop. 
It’s only a dream
...

Jax thrust a bottle of water toward her.  “Drink this.”

When she refused, he insisted.  “It’s hot out, Jennifer.  Heat exhaustion sneaks up on people.”  His concern deepened, digging further into his eyes.  “Please, drink some.  You don’t look good.”

“I’m fine,” she repeated, but to her embarrassment, her hand trembled as she reached for the bottle.

“Why don’t you sit down.”

It wasn’t a question.  “I’m okay, Jax, really I am.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” he said, and eased her down onto the nearby steps.

She didn’t protest.  Comforted by his firm hold, his body close to hers, she
wanted
him near.

But Jax maintained a respectable distance.  Where he smelled of a hard day’s work, it wasn’t an offensive odor, rather a man’s natural scent mingled with the hint of faded cologne.

Powerful, stirring, entirely male.

Jennifer sipped from the bottle, avoiding direct eye contact.  Difficult, as his face hovered less than a foot from hers.  So near, she could hear his breaths as he watched her.  Side by side, she felt his shoulder graze against hers, his muscles strong and reassuring.

“Is that better?” he asked.

Yes.  Everything was better this close to him.  His presence was comforting, his concern heartwarming.  She ventured a gaze toward him.  Compassion swam in his soft brown eyes.  Heat rose to her cheeks. 

Jennifer closed her eyes.  She was in trouble.  Enjoying his nearness, wanting him to touch her, hold her.

She shouldn’t be having these feelings
.  Shouldn’t want these things.

“Are you okay?”

She gulped.  No.  I’m not okay. Not anywhere close.  This—us, you, me.  But of course he was referring to her physical health.

And waiting for an answer.  “Yes.  Thank you.  But really,” she tried to put him off, put some distance between him and her thoughts.  “I’m all right.  I’ve had a long day, I’m tired.”

Tender eyes held steady.  “Just take it easy, Jennifer.  Give yourself a couple of minutes.  You’ll be okay.”

She nodded, mesmerized by every word he uttered.  This was a man who took care of those in need.  She drank from her bottle, this time more slowly, her eyes daring to linger over his face.

He smiled then, a gesture meant to reaffirm he was here for her.  Here. 
For her
.

She flushed hot.  Never had they been situated in such close proximity.  Not for more than a moment.  Not under these conditions.  Alone.  Expressing care, concern...desire.

The connection was strong.

Worse—she enjoyed it.

Jennifer glanced away.  She didn’t want to look at him.  Couldn’t.

But she didn’t want him to leave.  It felt good to have him close.  Good to have him here, by her side.  She could imagine his arms wrapped around her, the feel of her body as it folded into the curve of his as he held her tight, consoling her until the trouble passed.  She could imagine the ensuing kiss against her head, the gentle but secure hug that would surely follow.

Jennifer pitched her gaze to the ground.  She shouldn’t be having these feelings.  She shouldn’t wonder what it would be like to feel him against her, to yearn for sweet nothings murmured in her ear.  She shouldn’t ache for his closeness.

He shouldn’t be allowed this role.

It should be Aurelio’s arms she wanted wrapped around her.  Aurelio pulling her close.  Aurelio smoothing frazzled nerves.  It should be Aurelio’s shoulder she wanted for comfort, reassurance.

And if she had a speck of strength in her limbs, she would get up from these steps, march right into her house and put space between herself and this man.  But lifting her gaze, taking in her beautiful yard, his phenomenal talent, she felt no desire to leave.

Dusk painted the yard in creamy tones of gold, a reminder the day was coming to an end.  It was getting late.  She had a lot of work to do.

Yet she felt no urgency.  No compulsion to say, thanks, but no thanks.  While I appreciate your kindness, I’m fine.  I have to get going.  No.  Instead, she wanted to savor this time with Jax.  Enjoy their time before it was gone.  Gone.  The job was almost complete.  His services no longer required.

But needed
.  Sorely needed.

Jennifer closed her eyes.  She should go.  This wasn’t good.  Not good at all.  Opening them again, she breathed in and prepared to get up.  It was the right thing to do.  Because if she stayed—

Wait a minute.  Her focus unexpectedly sharpened, fastening on the bush with dark, shiny green leaves. 
Are those
...

Her breathing fell shallow, her pulse skittered.

But they couldn’t be
.  They weren’t part of the proposal.  They hadn’t been discussed.  “Jax.”

“Yes?”

She turned and faced him directly.  There was no possible way.  A wave of anxiety fluttered through her chest. 
Was there
?  “Are those gardenias?  Over there,” she pointed weakly.  “By the ginger?”

He nodded.

Her stomach flipped.  But how could they be?

“I know we didn’t discuss them.”  Not a trace of professionalism, his response was tender, personal.  “But I thought you’d enjoy them.  They’re covered in buds.  The blooms won’t explode for another month, but when they do, this yard will be filled with fragrance.”  Jax grinned knowingly.  “I tucked them in all around the garden.”

She wanted to cry.  She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and hug the last breath from his body.  She wanted to kiss him—
with abandon
—from his generous heart to his handsome face and tell him how much it meant to her.

It was a small detail, but one she’d forgotten.  One she
needed
.

But she could hardly talk, let alone move.  Fighting a wall of tears pressing behind her eyes, her throat hard and tight, she mouthed, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”  Satisfaction swamped his expression.  Rich and genuine, he made no attempt to hide his feelings.  “Those beauties will bring you pleasure for years to come.”

Years after I’m gone is what she heard.  You will continue to enjoy your garden for years after I’m gone.  Her mood plummeted.

It wasn’t right.  She shouldn’t care that he was leaving to set sail on a one-way voyage to nowhere.

She shouldn’t ache at the prospect. 
Shouldn’t
miss him before he even left.

But she did.  Fool as she may be, Jennifer wanted to be by his side...wherever that may be.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Lulled by the light kisses he feathered atop her forehead, Jennifer wanted them to go on forever.  It had been a difficult day at the hospital and this was exactly the remedy she needed.

But he wasn’t ready.

A knowing smile eased onto her lips.  Jennifer didn’t have to see his face.  She could feel his intention with the more insistent press of his lips.  The man had plans, and rolled her from side to back, placing his full weight on top of her.

Then she felt his naked hardness push into her thighs.  She savored the feel of his skin against hers.  Outstretching her arms like a lazy cat, she opened further to his advance.  His lips increased their pressure as they moved along her cheekbone, down toward her mouth, lingering at its edge.  He teased and toyed, then slipped his tongue inside.

Oh, how she loved the way he kissed her!  Soft and supple, yet hot and persistent, hungry.  He wanted more.  Always more.

But so did she.  Purring her desire, she gave herself to the roll of his tongue as it probed and explored.  Need escalated.  Desire mounted.  Urgency took hold.  Strange, to want someone so much, to crave their touch with every inch of your body...

Immensely overwhelming yet incredibly empowering at the same time.  Want and need filled her to the very ends of her being, the core of her soul.  She knew whatever he wanted, whatever he sought, she would give; readily, willingly—

Wantonly.

Abandoning her mouth he slid his tongue down her neck, along the line of her shoulder and encircled her breast.  She moaned as her nipple hardened beneath the slippery swath, throbbing in protest when he slid away.

Sudden need pulled at her.  She raked both hands through his hair, dragged them over the steel of his triceps and down the length of his arms.  She pushed into him with her hips, urging him now.

This drew a wicked gleam from his eyes.

Parting her legs, she laced one over and between his and pulled him close.  As he sank between her thighs, she wished he could swallow her whole.

More than anything, she needed to feel him, surround him—

—engulf him.  Right now.  He snaked his arms around her back and pulled her firm within his embrace.  In seconds, she felt the jolt of stiff muscle plunge deep inside her. 

Her groan was automatic.  He pushed further, deeper, gently rocking their bodies in an easy sway.

But it wasn’t enough.  She hugged him to her and motioned faster, harder—-more—until the two of them exploded in release.  Her muscles melted beneath his weight, her insides flew high and away, her mind immune to thought.  She could only feel.  Only exist.

Feathering light kisses once again, he slowly drew her back to the moment, the present.  “I love you, Jennifer.”

The declaration flooded her heart with an amazing fullness.

“More than I’ve ever loved a woman...”

Nuzzling his cheek against hers, he pulled back, but not too far.  Tilting her chin to face him, he urged her to look at him, hear him.  “I need you, Jennifer.”

“You have me,” she whispered fiercely, meaning it with every inch of her soul.  She eased her eyes open.  “I’m yours, Jax.”

Jennifer bolted awake.

Oh my God...

Her heart thumped against her ribs.  Her pulse pounded between her ears.  Comprehension staggered in. 
It was only a dream
?

But it had been so real.  He had been so real.  She could still feel the sensation of his touch on her skin.  His lips on her breast.  His—

Shock trapped the breath in her chest. 
What am I doing
?

Slowly her eyes traveled through the dark and locked onto the only tangible reminder of reality.  Glowing red numbers told her it was 4:30.

She dropped her face into her hands.  This shouldn’t be happening.  She shouldn’t be dreaming of Jax.  Forget she had been escaping to the yacht with Constantine, her fantasy lover!  But now she was making love to Jax—a real-life person.

And she was enjoying it
.  Enjoying it more than she had ever enjoyed sex in her life, with anyone, at any time.