#Jerk (19 page)

“Jesus, can you seriously stop being so stubborn and allow me to help you?”

I hold onto my stomach as a small cramp hits.

“I told you. I don’t want anything from you. My goddamn mailman is more reliable than you!” I snap, unsure of where it’s coming from after such a special moment.

In his typical signature move, he runs his hands through his hair, disheartened. I am tired of arguing with him, and something tells me this is only the beginning. The two of us just can’t get along, it’s that plain and simple.

“I didn’t tell you that David, or as you call him,
Mr. Sadler
, is my stepdad because I don’t like anyone knowing.”

Thrown off by the change of subject, I attempt to listen rather than open my big fat mouth for once. Sandra gives us some time alone to gather our things and leaves the room to attend to another appointment.

“Today is the anniversary of my dad’s death.” He falls into a digestive silence, eyes staring at the screen where the picture of the baby remains frozen.

I’m never sure what to say in these circumstances, never having experienced the death of anyone close to me besides my grandparents. This is why Hallmark runs a successful business; they sell a card for every occasion when you have nothing appropriate to say.

I need a Hallmark quote right now.

“I’m sorry, Haden,” I apologize quietly.

His eyes focus in on my stomach, then move towards my face. He’s like a little lost boy, the vulnerability and sadness weighing heavily in that one glance. I want to reach out to him, but I know it’s inappropriate. Instead, I keep my distance and try to offer some support by listening.

“He died when I was fifteen. A car accident,” he tells me in a low voice. “Presley, I run away from this because I’m scared I will never be the dad he was to me.”

Oh crap.
He’s opening up to me. I have no choice but to be nice now, because I’m not a cold-hearted bitch. I hate the way  my feelings towards him shift. I knew there was a reason why he acted like a jerk all the time. I just never expected it to be this.

“Do you want to go somewhere and talk?” I offer.

“I have to attend this dinner with Eloise.”

I don’t say anything and he quickly adds, “But I can cancel. Can we go back to your place?”

“Sure.”

Eloise doesn’t take the cancellation well. The argument in the cab ride home echoes through the speaker. Some mouth she has on her. His patience is wearing thin and the grinding from his teeth is audible, not to mention his repetitive tapping of the door handle, which is driving me insane. When he directs the driver to stop at the corner pizza place, I welcome the interruption.

When we walk through the door of the apartment, the exhaustion of the day hits me like a ton of bricks, and I fall onto the sofa effortlessly.

The one thing I love about Kate’s apartment is how cozy and warm it feels. There is something about this place that makes you feel like you’re home. It could be the one-of-a-kind vintage pieces or the comfortable natural-colored sofa that practically begs your body to sink into it. Either way, I’m happy to be here.

“Nice place. Who did you say owns it?” He takes a slice of pizza, practically inhaling it in one sitting.

“My roommate Kate, but actually her best friend Charlie Edwards owns the place.”

“Name sounds familiar,” he casually responds.

“Maybe you know her husband. Lex Edwards? He was the one who told me about Mr. Sadler being your stepdad.”

Haden lets out a long whistle. “I remember her. How could I forget?” He chuckles at what appears to be his own private joke. “She was at this event, some business thing. I believe I tried to, um…anyway, Lex was quick to set me straight.”

I have to laugh at this; I can only imagine how possessive Lex could be. He and his wife are stunning—at least from Kate’s photos they are. From what Kate told me, no one, and I mean no one, gets near Lex’s wife.

“Always the player, aren’t you?” I tease, grabbing another slice of pepperoni pizza that I am certain is calling my name.

“Was,” he corrects me. “What am I now? I don’t even know who I am.”

Taking slow bites, I drink some soda and wipe my mouth with a napkin. “You’re the same person to me. A big fat jerk. Well, not the fat part because actually you’re quite muscular and lean, but you…” I trail off as he stares at me in bewilderment.

“What? Sauce on my face?” I ask, paranoid.

“No…it’s nothing.”

I let it go for now, finishing off the last bite and holding in the burp that wants to escape.

“It’s nice to just pig out on pizza,” he says out of the blue.

“It’s one of life’s greatest pleasures. You don’t pig out on pizza? I thought guys were all about pizza.”

“I used to be. Eloise doesn’t like it.”

I laugh on cue. “If I was with someone who didn’t like pizza, there would be no future for us.”

“Yes, well that’s the difference between you and her,” he boldly states.

“I’m sorry, Haden. Please just once and for all tell me, why are you marrying her?”

He shuffles uncomfortably. “I told you. I love her.”

“I know you said that,” I hate to admit. “But you just met her. How does a guy who is used to jumping into random panties suddenly tie himself down?”

I can see that he is wringing the napkin between his hands. Staring at the floor, he lets out a long breath, then opens his mouth to speak. “She happened to be there at a time when I needed someone. I can’t forget that. Despite what you might think, she’s a really good person.”

I quickly defend his allegation against me. “I never said she wasn’t, I just don’t understand why you are rushing into marriage.”

“Well, I just told you. She’s great. My mom loves her and so it just makes sense.”

I don’t pry further because, truth be told, he sounds completely unsure of himself. So, after that revelation, we continue to sit in silence.

“Why did you stop talking to me that morning you woke up?” he questions, this time holding my gaze.

It’s the second time he’s asked me that, and this time I call defeat. Honesty is something I base all of my relationships on, whether they be partners or friends.

“The truth? And don’t get a big head. And when I say head, I mean down below, because no chance, buddy.” Looking puzzled, he waits for my explanation. “I had a dream about you. About us.”

With a smug look, he pries further. “What was I doing in the dream?”

“Stop playing dumb. I don’t need to spell it out for you. It’s awkward and I really don’t want to discuss it further.”

With a wide cocky grin, he licks his lips before asking, “Was I at least good?”

Should I answer his ridiculous question?
His body looks inviting, and Kitty is wearing some slutty getup with her legs crossed, showing way too much skin.

Still in his suit, with his shirt partially unbuttoned and flashing me his tanned skin, I realize my strong will can only be pushed so far. That, and Kitty practically has her welcome wagon ready because she is pulling out all the stops.
Stupid, horny traitor!

“Have some faith in yourself, Jerk. Yes, you were. Totally sweeping this convo under the rug now,” I mumble.

With a sly smile, he leans in a little further. “I had a similar dream that night.”

I almost spit out my drink and choke on the liquid stuck in my throat. I cough involuntarily until Haden realizes I need assistance and pats me on the back repeatedly.

“You okay?”

I nod, embarrassed that he thinks I am
this
affected by his admission.

“I don’t know what to say. This is really awkward.”

“What else is there to say besides the fact that we are clearly attracted to each other?”

How do I respond to that!?
Is it written all over my face? Are my nipples hard, giving off some sort of horny vibe? Panicking, I try to come up with something witty to say, but
nada.

“Haden, I don’t think—”

“Let me finish. It was bound to happen and I blame curiosity,” he claims. “We both know it can’t happen.”

My heart slightly sinks as he says that. Shit, why the hell did I react that way? I don’t have
those
types of feelings towards him…do I?

Don’t answer that!

“It can’t happen because you’re getting married.” There, I said it again. “Haden, we’ve got to stop playing these games.”

He seems to acknowledge the truth, and although it hurts more than I thought it would, it has to come out. We have to focus on raising this baby. That will forever be our top priority.

“I’ll stop playing these games on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

His eyes are practically dancing, and I subconsciously look around the room, wondering why he is watching me this way. Under his stare, my cheeks flush and my body temperature rises.

“I want to kiss you. Just one kiss. Nothing more.”

I laugh, thinking it’s a joke, until his expression tells me to shut the fuck up because he is dead serious.

“But you’re—”

He doesn’t allow me to finish, moving his body close to mine and cupping my chin in his masculine hands. My uneven breaths are terrified and anticipating his next move. He runs his nose along my chin and moves his face slightly upwards until his lips press gently onto mine.
One kiss, that’s all. Just one little peck won’t hurt, right?
I part my lips until our tongues meet midway and intertwine. With a slow and tantalizing pace, our lips move in sync, and the taste of him melts away at my body, reacting instantly. Kitty is trying to break free from her cage, but goddammit I cannot,
will not
, allow that to happen.

My hands mimic his and find their way to his chiseled cheekbones. We continue to kiss like this for what feels like forever, and much like high school, my jaw starts to get sore. Kitty is aching like a swollen bitch, drowning in my panties and demanding some sort of lifejacket. With a final moan, we both slow the pace and pull away simultaneously.

Stupid me. I look directly at his pants.

Fuckity fuck, fuck!
He looks rock hard.

We catch our breath, and suddenly feeling shy, I struggle to look into his eyes, avoiding them till it’s impossible. Everything I see there is filled with forbidden feelings. Lust, sex, desire…and maybe traces of something deeper. The silence deepens and neither of us says a word for what feels like minutes.

“See, it was just a kiss,” he insists, adjusting his pants.

“Yep, just a kiss. A kiss that will never happen again.”

“Never
ever
happen again. And that was the point I was trying to prove.”

I turn to face him, and with curiosity, I ask, “You had a point to prove?”

“Yes,” he quietly chokes. “The awkward part is over. No more curiosity. So now we can be normal…be friends.”

What planet is he on? Not the same horny planet I’m on, that’s for sure.

“Okay, so we can be friends,” I say, unsure.

“Great.” He claps his hands, surprising me. “So what are you up to this weekend?”

Really? We both just had the most intense kiss ever, and now this is what we are discussing? It’s such a bizarre reaction.

“Just shopping for last-minute stuff for the baby and that’s about it. You?”

“Before I forget, my mom wants to meet you. Well, she’s been begging to meet you since I told her, but I think now’s the time.”

“Okay…”

“David wants me in L.A. next month to manage the office while the senior editor is having an operation, so I’ll be gone for three weeks.”

“David? Oh! Mr. Sadler, right.”

“Then, I’ll be spending a week in Vegas for my bachelor party,” he adds.

Whoa, rewind. Again, he gives me the most intense kiss only to tell me he’s going to party all week and probably get laid by a stripper? My blood rises and that unusual bout of jealousy is consuming me. I stare at my feet, trying to control these fucked-up feelings. Don’t say anything…just keep it to yourself.

“Strippers? Weren’t you the one who told me about fucking them or something?”

He smiles softly and raises his hand to stroke my cheek. “I would never do that to you.”

My eyes dart to his, and he is seemingly unaware of the words he just spoke.

“Don’t you mean Eloise?”

His grin disappears and suddenly he looks agitated. “Yes, I meant Eloise.”

Silence falls between us, and when no more words are left to be said, I realize my feelings need a massive reality check.

A fucking astronomical reality check.

“So, I better be going. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”

Standing up, he heads towards the door and I follow. He turns to look at me one more time, but this time his eyes are heavily fixated on my lips. With my chest pounding hard, I pray my face isn’t flushed, showing how aroused I am and how much I want him to stay.