Jocelynn Drake - [Asylum Tales 02] (13 page)

“I want a better life for our loved ones as well, but railing at the fates and punching holes in the wall aren’t going to fix anything.” Gideon’s voice was calm, but there was a light in his eyes. I think he wanted to punch a wall or two as well, but he was holding himself in check. He was right. My temper tantrum was helping no one, but damn it, venting at least kept me from using magic to blow holes in things.

“Then where does that leave us? What do we do?” I snapped, struggling to rein in my anger.

“Survive,” Sofie said.

I had honestly forgotten that she was even in the room. Had I said anything that I shouldn’t have? I froze, my mind scrambling to replay my tirade. I trusted Sofie with my life. She was my friend, but I wasn’t willing to trust her with the lives of Gideon’s family. That was his choice.

The large cat made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat before she jumped up on the coffee table in front of Gideon. “You two think you’re so smart and sneaky, but you’re both babies,” she said. “The softer edge movement started well before Gideon arrived in the Towers. I wasn’t a part of it, but I kept an eye on it.”

“Why? To crush it?” Gideon demanded, sitting up straight. His voice hardened. I had a feeling that if Sofie gave the wrong answer, he wouldn’t hesitate to skin the cat right there. And of course, Sofie wasn’t the type to back down from anything.

She laughed at Gideon. “No. I guess I was curious. At my age, I don’t get curious about the actions of people much. I feel like I’ve seen it all. I might not have been at Gage’s trial, but when I heard that Peter had assigned you to watch over him, I knew that you had found your way into the movement. I always knew your visits were a way of safely transmitting information to Gage. I might be stuck as a cat and out of the Towers, but I’m no fool.”

The warlock frowned at the mention of Peter’s name. I hadn’t known him personally, and I had only seen him the one time when I stood before the council for my trial. He had been the one to cast the deciding vote to let me live. He had been the one to advise me to hide. Apparently, he had also been a part of the movement among the witches and the warlocks who wanted to live in peace with the rest of the world. It had been his recent death that created the opening on the council.

“I’m sorry if you feel that you were used,” Gideon said stiffly. “We were never sure where your interests lie. I mentioned to Gage that you were in the area, and was pleased when he gravitated toward you on occasion as it gave me a chance to keep him abreast of changes.”

Sofie gave a shrug of her small shoulders. “I didn’t mind. I appreciated the visits from both of you and the information. I doubt that I’d agree with everything that your group believes, but I do agree with Gage’s sentiment. Things need to change. I watched the Great War and the growing pile of dead bodies. I haven’t the stomach to do it again.” She looked up at me. Her expression was unreadable as a cat’s, but I had a feeling that she was sad. “But for anything to change, the first thing you have to do is survive.”

I waved one hand at her and paced a small distance away. I was getting tired of this you-have-to-stay-alive mentality. I had to do more, but I didn’t know what. As it was, I had to find a way to help Trixie settle things with the Summer Court, get Bronx free of Reave, and extricate Robert from the mess he was tangled in before the damn dark elf got us all killed. There was no time to lead a fucking revolution against the Towers . . . and maybe that was the point.

“Fine. I stay alive,” I said under my breath. “I’ve got enough to keep me busy for now. I’ll leave the rest of the world to you.”

“Staying alive is going to be harder than you might think,” Gideon warned, drawing my gaze back to him. He drew in a heavy breath and stared at the table in front of him.

“What? You’ve been removed as my guardian? A new warden has been assigned?”

“Not yet. During the last meeting, your name came up a few times. There are some who are afraid that you could prove to be a source of information since you’ve defected.”

I threw my hands up in disbelief. “They’re thinking of this now? I’ve been out for roughly ten years.”

“Some have voiced it before but I think they had trouble accepting the idea that you’d be disloyal to your own people. I guess some believed that you only wanted to get away from Simon, not the Towers. They thought you were still one of us.”

A horrible sinking feeling filled my body so that it was like my heart was pumping sludge through my veins. “Someone thinks I have something to do with the information leak?”

“No, not this one. The spotlight is firmly on the elves. But I think they are now realizing that you’re a risk. You and the other runaways.”

“That was the reason for the hit squad on my doorstep?” I shook my head and then paced back to where he sat. “Someone found out that I was in contact with Sofie. I’m sure she never particularly hid where she was, so when she was located, they followed in hopes of locating me.”

“Gage—” Sofie started, but I held up my hand.

“Don’t, Sof. You didn’t know and it doesn’t matter. If they want to find me, they will. I’m sorry that you got hurt in the process.”

“Speaking of that, unless Gideon has something else to reveal, I’m going to jump into your shower. I never was a fan of the taste of my own blood.”

I kept my mouth shut on that one. It sounded too much like she might not mind the taste of someone else’s blood. Sofie might be a nice witch, but she was still a witch and that left the door open for all kinds of weird shit.

“Nothing much else.” Gideon sighed as he relaxed slightly on the sofa. “They’re searching for a sign of the elf that helped this resistance group. Their search is staying close to Oklahoma City, but it’s branching out. No other cities are on the chopping block, but that could change in an instant. For now, they’ve decided to take out the Internet.”

“For Oklahoma?”

“For the world.”

“What?” I cried. “That’s going to—”

“People will survive,” Gideon said a bit irritably. “They lived centuries without it. They can go a little while without checking e-mail. We can’t track digital transmissions with magic as easily as we can trace paper and analog trails. Taking down the Internet won’t cover everything, but it gives us a hand in tracking down this bastard.”

“Good luck with that,” Sofie said before jumping down from the table and walking through the hall to my bathroom. She sounded less than confident about the Towers’ chances of success. I wasn’t feeling so good about them myself. Losing Internet was going to create a lot of angry and scared people.

“Are the Towers going to at least tell the world why they’re doing this?”

Gideon shook his head. “Not yet. They seem to think that it will give them an edge. If people realize that someone knows the location of one or more Towers, they may decide to help him rather than help us.”

“You think whoever has this information doesn’t know you’re looking for him? The whole Indianapolis thing is a pretty good indication, you know.”

“I’m not saying I agree with it. It’s how they’re handling it.”

I bit my tongue, keeping my grumbling to myself as I walked around the table so I could flop on the couch next to Gideon. Leaning back, I stared up at the hole in the ceiling I had yet to repair. During the summer, I had hanged myself to gain access to the underworld. It had all worked out, sort of, but Trixie didn’t appreciate the constant reminder that she had been the one to find my dead body.

We sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the water falling in the bathroom. Sofie had managed to get the shower going, which wasn’t a surprise since she had managed to get to and from Germany with no problem. Good thing, too, since I had absolutely no desire to give a witch-turned-cat a bath.

There was also a low murmur of noise coming from the bedroom. Robert was watching something on my laptop. The Internet wasn’t down yet.

When Gideon spoke again, there was a wariness in his voice to match his obvious fatigue. “Gage, I’m not going to ask if you know anything about who has the locations. Well, I’m not going to ask you yet.” I tensed next to him, but said nothing. “I don’t want to risk having you lie to me. Just think about it. You know I’m not one of them, but I think we both agree that the best way to protect this world is to keep that information out of the hands of the other races.”

“I know,” I said, closing my eyes. The knowledge hurt. I felt like a traitor to Trixie, Bronx, my family, and everyone who had suffered under the control of the Towers. I could rant and rave all I wanted about how the world had to escape the tight grasp of the Towers, but when the opportunity came, I turned my back on the world in the name of protecting it.

“Then I’m sure that you also know that if the shit hits the fan, I’m going to protect my family first. I’ll try to get word to you, but Ellen and my daughter have to come first.”

“I would expect nothing less.” I opened my eyes and looked over at him. “You have to protect what’s important to you.”

“It’s interesting that you say that since you’re struggling with the idea yourself.”

I sat up, staring over at the warlock who had hounded me for nearly ten years. There were moments when I felt like I knew him, and then there were others when I was sure I was looking at a total stranger. His expression was closed, but I could feel a warning in his words.

“What are you talking about?”

“If Neil had escaped and found out about Trixie or Bronx or your brother, there is no doubt that he would be striking at them next in an effort to get at you. That could still happen if his apprentice survived.”

Frowning, I fell back against the sofa and glared out the repaired sliding-glass door. The sky was black and I had no idea what time it was. It felt like I should be seeing the sun rise, so much had happened.

“I’m not a killer. It’s why I left the Towers. I’m not like them,” I said, even as Bryce’s battered face surfaced before my mind’s eye. I was starting to sound like a broken record. On and on again, I was telling everyone around me, even myself, that I wasn’t a killer. I wanted to think that maybe I wasn’t very convincing, but I was beginning to wonder if maybe they all knew something that I didn’t.

“No, you’re not like them, but I’m not talking about being a heartless killer like Simon.” Gideon paused and I looked back at him. “I’m talking about protecting the people that matter to you. The warlocks and the witches coming after you can’t be reasoned with. They can’t be convinced that they are in the wrong. If you let them live, they will keep coming after you and along the way they are going to kill that elf of yours, Bronx, Sofie, and your family.”

I pushed to my feet and walked around the table to put some space between us. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gideon rise as well. “You don’t understand.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand,” Gideon snapped. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around so that I was forced to look at him. He leaned close, his sharp features becoming harsh in his anger as he slipped back into his role as my main tormentor. “It’s time to stop clinging to these childish notions that you’re above them, that you’re better than them because you won’t stoop to kill another person. You can’t afford that luxury any longer.”

“Easy for you. You—”

“It’s not easy for me!” Gideon cut me off, giving me a hard shove, so that I was pressed against the wall. “When I am faced with someone, I ask one thing: is this person a threat to my family? If the answer is no, then they walk away. If it’s yes, then I finish it quickly. And a threat to me is a threat to my family because it means I won’t be around to keep them safe. It’s time for you to get off your high horse and take a hard look at what’s really important to you. This pretty idea you’re clutching or that woman on your arm, because in this world, you can’t have both.”

Gideon turned away from me and started to walk back toward the couch, running one hand through his dark hair to push it away from his face. His shoulders slumped under his fatigue and probably from the weight of the life he was trying to lead.

“I’m done cleaning up for you,” he said in a low voice. “Next time you handle it.”

“Got it.”

Gideon’s head snapped up and he looked over his shoulder at me. I thought I could see regret in his eyes for a second, but it was gone before I could be sure. He made it sound like he killed with such cold, heartless ease, but it took its toll on him all the same. There was something about the hardness in his eyes, the stiffness in his shoulders, that made me think this life wore on him. I don’t think he wanted me to have to live with the toll as well, but as he said, we didn’t have that luxury in this world.

“I’ve got to go. I need to check on Ellen and Bridgette.”

“I’m sure they’re anxious to see you.”

He nodded and started for the door.

“Did you talk to Sofie?” I said as he reached for the doorknob.

Gideon half turned back toward me. “No.”

“She wouldn’t tell me any details, but she said that Victoria Tremaine cursed her.”

The warlock frowned, staring blindly at the floor as if lost in thought. “It’s good to know. There’s too much going on right now to worry about it, though, and Victoria’s tricky enough that I’ll need to be focused on the problem when I attack it.”

“Good luck.”

Gideon shook his head, a little half smile on his face. “Yeah. Don’t forget to handle your brother.”

I frowned at the weary warlock. He was talking about wiping Robert’s memory of what he saw. “There isn’t enough bleach in the world to scrub his mind clean.”

Gideon gave me a little smirk I had never seen on his face before. “Run in the family?”

I rolled my eyes at him, fighting the urge to flip him the bird. We were having a good laugh. I didn’t want to piss Gideon off, which would only push him into taking care of Robert himself.

“At least bury the memory a little. We don’t need him accidentally mentioning the dead warlock on your floor to someone.”

“Got it,” I said on a sigh. I watched as Gideon started for the door again, a little amazed that I found myself in this moment with the man I had been sure was my greatest living enemy. “How old are you?”