John Donne - Delphi Poets Series (62 page)

XI. MEDITATION

WHENCE can wee take a better argument, a clearer demonstration, that all the
Greatnes
of this world, is built upon
opinion
of others, and hath in itself no
reall being
, nor power of subsistence, than from the
heart of man?
It is always in
action
, and
motion
, still busie, still pretending to doe all, to furnish all the powers, and faculties with all that they have; But if an enemy dare rise up against it, it is the soonest endangered, the soonest defeated of any part. The
Braine
will hold out longer than it, and the
Liver
longer than that; They will endure a
Siege;
but an unnatural heat, a rebellious heat, will blow up the
heart
, like a
Myne
, in a
minute
. But howsoever, since the
Heart
hath the
birthright
and
Primogeniture
, and that it is
Natures eldest Sonne
in us, the part which is first borne to life in man, and that the other parts, as
younger brethren
, and servants in this family, have a dependence upon it, it is reason that the principall care hee had of it, though it bee not the strongest part; as the
eldest
is oftentimes not the strongest of the family. And since the
Braine
, and
Liver
, and
Heart
, hold not a
Triumvirate in
Man
, a
Soveraigntie
equally shed upon them all, for his
well-being
, as the foure
Elements
doe, for his very
being
, but the
Heart
alone is in the
Principalitie
, and in the
Throne
, as
King
, the rest as
Subjects
, though in eminent
Place
and
Office
, must contribute to that, as
Children
to their
Parents
, as all persons to all kinds of
Superiours
, though oftentimes, those
Parents
, or those
Superiours
, bee not of stronger parts, than themselves, that serve and obey them that are weaker; Neither doth this Obligation fall upon us, by second
Dictates of Nature
, by
Consequences
and
Conclusions
arising out of
Nature
, or deriv’d from
Nature
, by
Discourse
, (as many things binde us even by the Law of
Nature
, and yet not by the
primarie
Law of
Nature;
as all Lawes of
Proprietie
in that which we possesses are of the Law of
Nature
, which law is,
To give every one his owne
, and yet in the
primarie
law of Nature there was no
Proprietie
, no
Meum
and
Tuum
, but an universall
Communitie
over all; So the Obedience of
Superiours
, is of the law of
Nature
, and yet in the
primarie
law of
Nature
, there was no
Superioritie
, no
Magistracie;
) but this contribution of assistance of all to the
Soveraigne
, of all parts to the
Heart
, is from the very
first dictates of Nature;
which is, in the first place, to have care of our owne
Preservation
, to look first to ourselves; for therefore doth the
Phisician
, intermit the present care of
Braine
, or
Liver
, because there is a possibilitie that they may subsist, though there bee not a present and a particular care had of them, but there is no possibilitie that they can subsist, if the
Heart
perish: and so, when we seem to begin with others, in such assistances, indeed wee doe beginne with ourselves, and wee ourselves are principally in our contemplation; and so all these officious, and mutual assistances are but
complements
towards others, and our true end is
ourselves
. And this is the reward of the paines of
Kings;
sometimes they neede the power of law, to be obey’d; and when they seeme to be obey’d
voluntarily
, they who doe it, doe it for their owne sakes. O how little a thing is all the
greatnes of man
, and through how false glasses doth he make shift to
multiply it
, and
magnifie
it to himselfe! And yet this is also another misery of this
King of man
, the
Heart
, which is also applyable to the Kings of this world, great men, that the venime and poyson of every pestilentiall disease directs itself to the
Heart
, affects that (pernicious affection,) and the
Malignity
of ill men, is also directed upon the
greatest
, and the
best;
and not only
greatnesse
, but
goodnesse
looses the vigour of beeing an
Antidote
, or
Cordiall
against it. And as the noblest, and most generous
Cordialls
that
Nature
or
Art
afford, or can prepare, if they be often taken, and made
familiar
, become no
Cordialls
, nor have any extraordinary operation, so the greatest
Cordiall
of the
Heart
, patience, if it bee much exercis’d, exalts the
venim
and the
malignity
of the
Enemy
, and the more we suffer, the more wee are insulted upon. When
God
had made this
Earth
of
nothing
it was but a little helpe, that he had, to make other things of this
Earth:
nothing can be neerer nothing, than this
Earth;
and yet how little of this
Earth
is the
greatest Man;
Hee thinkes he treads upon the
Earth
, that all is under his feete, and the
Braine
that thinkes so, is but
Earth;
his highest Region, the flesh that covers that, is but
earth;
and even the toppe of that, that, wherein so many
Absolons
take so much pride, is but a bush growing upon that
Turfe of Earth
. How little of the world is the
Earth!
And yet that is all that
Man hath
, or
is
. How little of a
Man
is the
Heart
, and yet it is all, by which he
is;
and this continually subject, not only to forraine poysons, conveyed by others, but to intestine poysons, bred in ourselves by pestilentiall sicknesses. O who, if before hee had a beeing, he could have sense of this miserie, would buy a being here upon these conditions?

XII. MEDITATION

WHAT will not kill a man if a
vapor
will? How great an
Elephant
, how small a
Mouse
destroys! To dye by a
bullet
is the
Souldiers dayly bread;
but few men dye by
haile-shot:
A man is more worth, than to bee sold for
single money;
a
life
to be valued above a
trifle
. If this were a violent shaking of the Ayre by
Thunder
, or by
Canon
, in that case the
Ayre
is condensed above the thicknesse of
water
, of
water
baked into
Ice
, almost
petrified
, almost made stone, and no wonder that kills; but that that which is but a
vapor
, and a
vapor
not forced, but breathed, should kill, that our
Nourse
should overlay us, and
Ayre
that nourishes us, should destroy us, but that it is a
halfe Atheisme
to murmure against
Nature
, who is
Gods immediate commissioner
, who would not think himselfe miserable to bee put into the hands of
Nature
, who does not only set him up for a
marke
for others to shoote at, but delights herselfe to blow him up like a glasse, till shee see him breake, even with her owne breath? nay, if this infectious
vapor
were sought for, or travail’d to, as
Plinie
hunted after the
vapor
of Ætna, and dared and challenged
Death
, in the forme of a vapor, to doe his worst, and felt the worst, he dyed; or if this
vapor
were met withall in an
ambush
, and we surprised with it, out of a long shutt
Well
, or out of a new opened
Myne
, who would lament, who would accuse, when we had nothing to accuse, none to lament against but
Fortune
, who is lesse than a
vapor:
But when our selves are the
Well
, that breaths out this exhalation, the
Oven
that spits out this fiery smoke, the
Myne
that spues out this suffocating, and strangling
dampe
, who can ever after this, aggravate his sorrow, by this
Circumstance
, That it was his
Neighbor
, his
familiar Friend
, his
Brother
, that destroyed him, and destroyed him with a whispering, and a calumniating breath, when wee our selves doe it to our selves by the same meanes, kill our selves with our owne
vapors?
Or if these occasions of this selfe-destruction, had any contribution from our owne
Wils
, any assistance from our owne
intentions
, nay from our own
errors
, we might divide the rebuke, and chide our selves as much as them.
Fevers
upon wilful distempers of drinke, and surfets,
Consumptions
upon intemperances, and licentiousness
Madnes
upon misplacing, or overbending our naturall faculties, proceed from our selves, and so, as that our selves are in the plot, and wee are not onely
passive
, but
active
too, to our owne destruction; But what have I done, either to
breed
, or to
breath
these
vapors?
They tell me it is my
Melancholy;
Did I infuse, did I drinke in
Melancholly
into my selfe? It is my
thoughtfulnesse;
was I not made to
thinke?
It is my
study;
doth not my
Calling
call for that? I have don nothing, wilfully, perversly toward it, yet must suffer in it, die by it; There are too many
Examples
of men, that have bin their own
executioners
, and that have made hard shift to bee so; some have alwayes had
poyson
about them, in a
hollow ring
upon their finger, and some in their
Pen
that they used to write with: some have beat out their
braines
at the wal of their prison, and some have eate the
fire
out of their chimneys: and one is said to have come neerer our case than so, to have strangled himself, though his hands were bound, by crushing his throat between his knees; But I doe nothing upon my selfe, and yet am mine owne
Executioner
. And we have heard of
death
upon small occasions, and by
scornefull instruments:
a
pinne
, a
combe
, a
haire
, pulled, hath gangred, and killd; But when I have said, a
vapour
, if I were asked again, what is a
vapour
, I could not tell, it is so insensible a thing; so neere
nothing
is that that reduces us to
nothing
. But extend this
vapour
, rarifie it; from so narow a roome, as our
Naturall bodies
, to any
Politike body
, to a
State
. That which is
fume
in us, is in a
State, Rumor
, and these
vapours
in us, which wee consider here pestilent and infectious fumes, are in a State
infectious rumors
, detracting and dishonourable
Calumnies, Libels
. The
Heart
in that
body
is the
King;
and the
Braine
, his
Councell;
and the whole
Magistracie
, that ties all together, is the
Sinewes
, which proceed from thence; and the
life
of all is
Honour
, and just
respect
, and due
reverence;
and therfore, when these
vapors
, these venimous
rumors
, are directed against these
Noble parts
, the whole body suffers. But yet for all their priviledges, they are not priviledged from our
misery;
that as the
vapours
most pernitious to us, arise in our owne bodies, so do the most dishonorable
rumours
, and those that wound a State most, arise at home. What ill
ayre
, that I could have met in the street, what
Channell
, what
Shambles
, what
Dunghill
, what
vault
, could have hurt mee so much, as these home-bredd
vapours?
What
Fugitive
, what
Almes-man of any forraine State
, can doe so much harme as a
Detracter
, a
Libeller
, a scornefull
Jester
at home? For, as they that write of
poysons
, and of creatures naturally disposed to the ruine of Man, do as well mention the
Flea
, as the
Viper
, because the
Flea
, though hee kill none, hee does all the harme hee can; so even these libellous and licentious
Jesters
utter the venim they have, though sometimes
vertue
, and alwaies
power
, be a good
Pigeon
to draw this
vapor
from the
Head
, and from doing any deadly harme there.

XIII. MEDITATION

WEE say, that the world is made of
sea
, and
land
, as though they were equal; but we know that ther is more
sea
in the
Western
, than in the
Eastern Hemisphere:
We say that the
Firmament
is full of
starres
, as though it were equally full; but we know, that there are more
stars
under of the
Northerne
, than under the
Southern Pole
. We say, the
Elements
of man are man are
misery
, and
happinesse
, as though he had an equal proportion of both, and the dayes of man vicissitudinary, as though he had as many
good
daies, as
ill
, and that he liv’d under a perpetuall
Equinoctial night
, and
day
equall, good and ill fortune in the same measure. But it is far from that; hee
drinkes misery
, and he
tastes happinesse;
he
mowes misery
, and he
gleanes happinesse;
he
journies in misery
, he does but
walke in happinesse;
and which is worst his misery is
positive
, and
dogmaticall
, his happinesse is but
disputable
and
problematicall;
All men call
Misery, Misery
, but Happinesse changes the name, by the taste of man. In this
accident
that befalls mee now, that this sicknesse declares itself by
Spots
, to be a malignant, and pestilentiall disease, if there be a
comfort
in the declaration, that therby the
Phisicians
see more cleerely what to doe, there may bee as much
discomfort
in this, That the malignitie may bee so great, as that all that they can doe, shall doe
nothing;
That an enemy
declares
himselfe: then, when he is able to subsist, and to pursue, and to atchive his ends, is no great comfort. In intestine Conspiracies,
voluntary Confessions
doe more good, than Confessions upon the
Rack;
in these Infections, when
Nature
her selfe confesses, and cries out by these outward declarations, which she is able to put forth of her selfe, they minister
comfort;
but when all is by strength of
Cordials
, it is but a
Confession upon the Racke
, by which though wee come to knowe the malice of that man, yet wee doe not knowe whether there bee not as much malice in his heart then, as before his confession; we are sure of his
Treason
, but not of his
Repentance;
sure of
him
, but not of
his Complices
. It is a faint comfort to know the worst, when the worst is
remedilesse;
and a weaker than that, to know
much ill
, and not to know, that that is the worst. A woman is comforted with the birth of her
Son
, her body is eased of a burthen; but if shee could
prophetically
read his
History
, how
ill a man
, perchance how
ill a sonne
, he would prove, shee should receive a greater burthen into her
Mind
. Scarce any purchase that is not clogged with secret
encumbrances;
scarce any
happines
that hath not in it so much of the
nature
of false and base money, as that the
Allay
is more than the
Metall
. Nay, is it not so, (at least much towards it) even in the exercise of
Vertues?
I must bee poore, and want, before I can exercise the vertue of
Gratitude;
miserable, and in torment, before I can exercise the vertue of
patience;
How deepe do we dig, and for how coarse gold? And what other
Touchstone
have we of our
gold
, but
comparison?
Whether we be as happy, as others, or as ourselves at other times; O poore stepp toward being well, when these
spots
do only tell us, that we are worse, than we were sure of before.