Journey of Souls (31 page)

When I heard the doctors had concluded her discomfort was probably psychosomatic, I suspected the origin of this woman’s pain might lie in a past life. Before going to the source of her problem, I decided to take my client through a couple of past lives to ascertain her motivations for body choices. When I asked her to tell me about a life in which she was the happiest with a human body she told of being in the body of a Viking called Leth around 800 AD. She said Leth was “a child of nature” who traveled by the Baltic Sea route into western Russia.

Leth was described as wearing a long, fur-lined cloak and soft, form-fitting animal skin pants with roped-up boots and a cap wrapped with metal. He carried an ax and a heavy, broad-bladed sword which he wielded easily in battle. My subject was intrigued by the picture in her mind of again being inside this magnificently proportioned warrior with “dirty strands of reddish-blond hair spilling over my shoulders.” Standing well over six feet tall, he must have been a giant of his time, with enormous strength, a huge chest, and powerful limbs. A man of great endurance, Leth navigated with other Norsemen over long distances, sailing up rivers and hiking through thick, virgin forests, pillaging settlements along the way. Leth was killed during a raid while looting a village.

Case 26

Dr. N: What was most important to you about this life you have just recalled as Leth the Viking?

S: To experience that magnificent body and the feeling of raw physical power. I have never had another body like that one in all my existences on Earth. I was fearless because my body did not react to pain even when wounded. In every respect it was flawless. I never got sick.

Dr. N: Was Leth ever mentally troubled by anything? Was there any emotional sensitivity for you in this life?

S: (bursts out laughing) Are you kidding? Never! I lived only for each day. My concerns were not getting enough fighting, plunder, food, drink, and sex. All my feelings were channeled into physical pursuits. What a body!

Dr. N: All right, let’s analyze your decision to choose this great body in advance of Leth’s life. At the time you made your choice in the spirit world did you request this body of good genetic stock or did your guide simply make the selection for you?

S: Counselors don’t do that.

Dr. N: Then explain to me how this body came to be chosen by you.

S: I wanted one of the best physical specimens on Earth at the time and Leth was offered to me as a possibility.

Dr. N: You had only one choice?

S: No, I had two choices of people living in this time.

Dr. N: What if you didn’t like any of the body choices presented to you for occupation in that time segment?

S: (thoughtfully) The alternatives of my choices always seem to match what I want to experience in my lives.

Dr. N: Do you have the sense the counselors know in advance which body selections are exactly right for you, or are they so harried it’s just an indiscriminate grab bag of body choices?

S: Nothing here is careless. The counselors arrange everything.

Dr. N: I have wondered if the counselors might get mixed up once in a while. With all the new babies born could they ever assign two souls to one baby, or leave a baby without a soul for a while?

S: (laughing) We aren’t in an assembly line. I told you they know what they are doing. They don’t make mistakes like that.

Dr. N: I believe you. Now, as to your choices, I am curious if two bodies were sufficient for your examination in the place of life selection.

S: We don’t need a lot of choices for lives once the counselors get their heads together about our desires. I already had some idea of the right body size and shape and the sex I wanted before being exposed to my two choices.

Dr. N: What was the body choice you rejected in favor of Leth?

S: (pause) That of a soldier from Rome… also with the strong body I wanted in that lifetime.

Dr. N: What was wrong with being an Italian soldier?

S: I didn’t want … control over me by the state (subject shakes head from side to side) … too restrictive …

Dr. N: As I remember, by the ninth century much of Europe had fallen under the authority of Charlemagne’s Holy Roman Empire.

S: That was the trouble with the soldier’s life. As a Viking I answered to nobody. I was free. I could move around with my band of invaders in the wilderness without any governmental control.

Dr. N: Then freedom was also an issue in your choice?

S: Absolutely. The freedom of movement… the fury of battle the use of my strength and uninhibited action. Life at sea and in the forests was robust and constant. I know the life was cruel, too, but it was a brutal time. I was no better or worse than the rest.

Dr. N: But what about other considerations, such as personality?

S: Nothing bothered me as long as I was able to physically express myself to the fullest.

Dr. N: Did you have a mate-children?

S: (shrugs) Too restrictive. I was on the move. I possessed many women-some willing-others not-and this pleasure added to my expression of physical power. I didn’t want to be tied down in any way.

Dr. N: So, the body of Leth was your preference as a pure physical extension of sensual feeling?

S: Yes, I wanted to experience all body senses to the fullest, nothing more.

I felt my subject was now ready to go to work on her current problem. After bringing her out of superconscious into a subconscious state, I asked her to go directly to a life which may have involved leg pain.

Almost at once the woman dropped into her most recent past life and became a six-year-old girl named Ashley living in New England in the year 1871. Ashley was riding in a fully loaded, horse-drawn carriage when suddenly she opened the door and tumbled out under the vehicle. When she hit the cobblestone street, one of the heavy rear carriage wheels rolled over her legs at the same point above both knees, crushing the bones. My subject reexperienced a sharp pain in her legs while describing the fall.

Despite efforts from local physicians and the prolonged use of wood splints, Ashley’s leg bones did not heal properly. She was never able to stand or walk again and poor circulation caused repeated swelling in her legs for the rest of a rather short life. Ashley died in 1912 after a productive period of years as a writer and tutor of disadvantaged children. When the narration of Ashley’s life ended, I returned my subject to the spirit world.

Dr. N: In your history of body choices why did you wait a thousand years between being a physically strong man and a crippled woman?

S: Well, of course, I developed a better sense of who I was during

the lives in between. I chose to be crippled to gain intellectual concentration.

Dr. N: You chose a broken body for this?

S: Yes, you see, being unable to walk made me read and study more. I developed my mind … and listened to my mind. I learned to communicate well and to write with skill because I wasn’t distracted. I

was always in bed.

Dr. N: Was any characteristic about your soul particularly evident in both Ashley and Leth the Viking?

S: That part of me which craves fiery expression was in both bodies.

Dr. N: I want you to go to the moment you were in the process of choosing the life of Ashley. Tell me how you decided on this particular damaged body.

S: I picked a family in a well-established, settled part of America. I wanted a place with libraries and to be taken care of by loving parents so I could devote myself to scholarship. I constantly wrote to many unhappy people and became a good teacher.

Dr. N: As Ashley, what did you do for this loving family who took care of you?

S: It always works two ways-the benefits and liabilities. I chose this family because they needed the intensity of love with someone totally dependent upon them all their lives. We were very close as a family because they were lonely before I was born. I came late, as their only child. They wanted a daughter who would not marry and leave them to be lonely again.

Dr. N: So it was a trade-off?

S: Most definitely.

Dr. N: Then let’s track this decision further back to the place of life selection, when your soul first saw Ashley’s life. Did you see the details of your carriage accident then?

S: Of course, but it wasn’t an accident-it was supposed to happen.

Dr. N: Once you came to Earth, who was responsible for the fall? Was it your soulmind or Ashley’s biological mind?

S: We worked in unison. She was going to be fooling with the carriage door handle and … I capitalized on that

Dr. N: Tell me what was going through your soulmind in the life selection room when you saw the scene of Ashley falling and being injured?

S: I thought about how this crippled body could be put to good use. I had some other choices for body injuries, but I preferred this one

because I didn’t want to have the capability for much movement.

Dr. N: I want to pursue the issue of causality here. Would Ashley have fallen anyway if she had a soul other than your own?

S: (defensively) We were right for each other…

Dr. N: That doesn’t answer my question.

S: (long pause) There are forces beyond my knowledge as a spirit. When I saw Ashley for the first time … I was able to see her without me … healthy … older … another life possibility…

Dr. N: Now we are getting somewhere. Are you saying if Ashley had begun her life with another soul entity that she might not have fallen at all?

S: Yes … that’s a possibility … one of many … she could also have been less severely injured, with the ability to walk on crutches.

Dr. N: Well, did you see a physically healthy Ashley living happily without your soul?

S: I saw … a grown woman … normal legs … unhappiness with a man … frustration at being trapped in an unrewarding life … sorrowful parents … but easier. (voice becomes more firm) No! That course would not have worked well for either of us-I was the best soul for her.

Dr. N: Were you the prime mover of the fall, once you elected to be-come Ashley’s soul?

S: It … was both of us … we were one at that moment … she was being naughty, bouncing around in the carriage, playing with the door handle when her mother said she must stop. Then … I was ready and she was ready…

Dr. N: Just how rigid was your destiny? Once you were Ashley’s soul was there any way you could have backed out of this entire incident in the carriage?

S: (pause) I can tell you I had a flash just before I fell. I could have pulled back and not fallen out. A voice inside my mind said…“It’s an opportunity, don’t wait any longer, take the fall, this is what you wanted-it’s the best course of action.”

Dr. N: Was that particular moment important?

S: I didn’t want Ashley to get too much older.

Dr. N: But, the pain and suffering this child went through …?

S: It was horrible. The agony of those first five weeks was beyond belief. I almost died, but I learned from enduring it all and I now see the memories of Leth’s capacity for managing pain helped me.

Dr. N: Did your inner mind have any regrets during those moments when the pain was most severe?

S: As I slipped in and out of consciousness during the worst of the ordeal, my mind began gaining in power. Overriding my damaged body, I started to better control the pain … lying in bed… the doctors helpless. The skills I developed in managing pain were later used to concentrate on my studies and my counselor was helping me, too, in subtle ways.

Dr. N: So you gained a lot in this life by being unable to walk?

S: Yes, I became a listener and thinker. I corresponded with many people and learned to write with inspiration. I gained teaching ability with the young, and felt guided by an internal power.

Dr. N: Was your counselor proud of your accomplishments after you returned to the spirit world?

S: Very, although I was told I had become a little too indulged and pampered (laughs), but that’s an okay trade-off.

Dr. N: How does your experience with the strong body of Leth and the weak one of Ashley help you today, or is this of no consequence?

S: I benefit every day by my appreciation of the necessity of a union between mind and body to learn lessons.

During my client’s reliving of the street scene which broke her legs, I initiated desensitization measures. At the close of our session together, I then deprogrammed her generational memory of leg pain entirely. This woman later notified me she has had no further pain and regularly enjoys playing tennis.

The two past lives I have represented in this case were largely devoted to physical choices for soul actualization in two quite different environments.

Souls search for self-expression by developing different aspects of their character. Regardless of what physical or mental tools are used through the use of many bodies, the laws of karma will prevail. If the soul chooses one extreme, somewhere down the line this will be counterbalanced by an opposite choice to even-out development. The physical lives of Leth and Ashley are examples of karmic compensation. The Hindus believe a rich man sooner or later must become a beggar for his soul to develop adequately.

By surviving different challenges our soul identity is strengthened. The word strength should not be misunderstood. My subjects say the real lessons of life are learned by recognizing and coming to terms with being human. Even as victims, we are beneficiaries because it is how we stand up to failure and duress which really marks our progress in life. Sometimes one of the most important lessons is to learn to just let go of the past.

While souls carefully consider the physical attributes of an Earth body in a variety of cultural settings, they give much more attention to the psychological aspects of human life. This decision is the most vital part of the entire selection process for the soul. Before entering the place of life selection, it is to a soul’s advantage to ponder the factors of heredity and environment which affect how a biological life form will function. I have heard that a soul’s spiritual energy has a fluctuating influence on whether the temperament of its human host will be extroverted or introverted, rationalistic or idealistic, emotionally or analytically dominated. Because of such variables, souls need to reflect in advance on the types of bodies which will serve them best in the life to come.