Joy and Tiers (41 page)

“I think you’ve forgotten this was just the warm up act. Did you forget that I’ve promised you a world-class shindig when I get back from the sandbox? I mean it, Gidget. Throw yourself the party of the century. I don’t really care. You can dress me in a red white and blue sequined spandex tuxedo, if that’s what floats your boat. I’m down for whatever makes you happy. I’ll be there with bells on.”

Heather shudders as she responds, “Gee, thanks a lot. I’m having a hard time getting the visual of you looking like a ringmaster in the Barnum & Bailey Circus on our wedding day out of my head. I think I’ll skip that one.”

I wink at her as I reply, “Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. It could be really hot.”

“It turns out I like alpha-military type guys in their swanky uniforms. The thought of running away to the circus was fun when I was a kid. But, I came out with a much better guy when I decided to pay attention to your pestering,” Heather replies.

“Pestering?” I ask with mock outrage. “I’ll have you know, that was a highly orchestrated, sophisticated seduction effort.”

Heather raises an eyebrow at me as she responds, “If you say so, Cowboy. It felt an awful lot like pestering to me.”

“Whatever!” I scoff, as I roll my eyes. “It seems like we have some revisionist history going on here since the results are in the pudding, my dear wife.”

Heather giggles as she replies, “Okay, point taken, you big ole’ egomaniac. I might’ve liked the pestering a little more than I let on.”

We walk hand-in-hand through the doors of the hotel. When we left this morning, never in a million years did I think we would be returning tonight as a married couple. I can’t imagine the red tape Heather had to cut through to make it happen. It’s even more phenomenal when you consider she was also in charge of making Tara and Aidan’s wedding cake under the glare of the media. Her assistant, Piper caught some reporters sifting through the garbage tasting cake scraps to try and determine what flavor of cake our friends were having at their wedding. In the midst of all that, ‘their’ wedding had somehow also become
our
wedding and it was truly spectacular.

I stick the key in the locking mechanism and pick up a very stunned Heather. After I finish kissing her soundly, she laughs as she says, “What are you doing, you silly man? It’s all legal now, I’m not running away. There’s no need to go all macho-GI Joe on me. I’ll come very willingly.”

I roll my eyes at her. “I can’t believe I’m the one who has to explain this to you, Little Miss-I’ve-Been-Planning-My-Wedding-Since-Before-Kindergarten, but this here is called carrying you over the threshold.”

She gives me a coy look. “Oh I see. I figured you were just trying to get closer to my zipper.”

“I’m not sayin’ there aren’t perks to the tradition,” I admit as I set her down on the bed with the tasteful blue, tan and ivory comforter. I look around the well-appointed room, including the sunken Jacuzzi tub in the corner. “It’s not the feather-bed, but it’ll do. Mrs. Colton welcome to your new household with me. May God always bless those who cross our threshold and may only love reside here for generations to come.”

Heather reaches up to wipe away tears as she reverently kisses my cheek. “You never stop surprising me. Just when I expect something silly and crass to come flying out of your mouth, you come up with a sentimental gem like that. You melt my heart at the most random times. I love you so much Mr. Colton and I can’t wait to build our household together.”

“Really?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively. “Can we start tonight? I always thought it’d be cool to have three—I’d like two boys and a girl so she can have built-in protection from creeps.” 

 The look of astonishment on Heather’s face is almost comical as she sputters, “Wow! I guess you’ve chosen to completely blow off the toning down conversation. Eventually I want kids, although I’m not sure I’m sold on three. But, the timing sucks right now. I’m just starting a brand-new business and you’re going to be gone for who knows how long. We have to think about all of that before we rush headlong into parenting.”

 She’s right, of course. There are a lot of complicating factors. But, I can’t help but wish that we could set those aside and just start our lives. “I’m sorry, Gidget. It’s hard not to get ahead of myself. I see you with Mindy and know you’re going to make an amazing mother.”

 “Tyler, it’ll happen. We just need to be patient. You’ve got some unfinished business with some insurgents to take care of first. When you get back, we’ll see what we can do about putting a family on the to-do list.”

 “Maybe it’s selfish of me, but for tonight can we pretend I’m not leaving in a few hours?” I ask as I brush a stray lock of hair out of her face and try to memorize the flakes of color in her eyes.

The look of sadness on Tyler’s face is so profound it makes my heart ache. Paying my somewhat poufy dress no mind, I scramble onto Tyler’s lap and start to draw a line of kisses down his sensitive jawline. “It’s a deal, Cowboy. As far as I’m concerned, tonight Uncle Sam doesn’t exist. He’s been disinherited. It’s technically our honeymoon and I’m not going to share it with anyone because our goodbyes are going to come far too soon.”

Tyler groans and scrubs his hand over his face. “I don’t even want to think about goodbyes.”

I become bolder as I continue to kiss him and remove his tuxedo shirt. “Then don’t. Tonight, we’re just a regular couple on a sexy honeymoon in a swanky hotel.”

Tyler kisses my ear lobe and murmurs, “Sounds like a plan to me.” A white hot lick of desire travels to my center. It seems like such an innocuous kiss, but I find it unbelievably sensual. I shift my body to respond to the sensation.

Tyler takes a harsh breath in my ear as he confesses, “Darlin’, there’s nothing I want more in the world than to continue, but for my own safety, I need to shed this monkey suit.”

Not for the first time today, I take a moment to admire his large athletic frame highlighted by the lines of the dark tuxedo. “As much as I approve of this look for you, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself. By all means, make yourself comfortable.”

“I will, if you will,” he quips with an anticipatory expression on his face.

“I’ll take you up on that offer.” I declare as I reach behind me to unzip my dress.

“Let me,” Tyler commands softly. “This is the stuff of fantasy. Stand up Heather.”

Deciding to go for broke and play up the moment, I walk over to the built in fire-place and turn it on. I stand in front of the mantle and slowly pull the pins from my hair, I shake my curls free.

There is something deeply satisfying about the way Tyler watches me, transfixed with an expression of unadulterated passion on his face. It’s oddly empowering. I silently walk over to him and turn my back. He kisses the base of my neck and my knees practically buckle as a fresh bolt of heat travels through my body. He pulls the zipper of my dress down. The dress drops to my feet in a pool of rich taffeta and lace. I step out of it, using Ty’s arm for balance. 

His eyes glitter with passion as he studies me. “Are you telling me that I spent two hours dancing with you, when you were wearin’ nothing but this the whole time?”

I give him a smoldering smirk as I reply, “Is it my fault that you were less than observant?”

“How was I supposed to know what you were hiding when you were wrapped up so pretty?” he asks, as he nips lightly at my collarbone.

“Well, for as much as you’ve had your hands on my butt all night, you should have figured that I was wearing a thong. A woman just should
not
have visible panty-lines.”

Ty chuckles softly, “I definitely underestimated the perks of dancing all these years.”

I raise an eyebrow at him, “If you danced with other women like we were dancing tonight, you might have gotten a drink or two thrown in your face. As your wife, I felt free to give you a few liberties.”

“If I had known this little white scrap of lace and those ‘come-get-me’ shoes were all you were wearing, we would’ve skipped the dancing altogether.”

“No way! Some traditions are important. You already didn’t get to have a bachelor party and I’m sure that’s one of the things you were looking forward to.”

“I know you don’t believe this, Gidget. But, my wild, single days are behind me. They have been pretty much from the moment I met you. You are so far above anything I had before, it doesn’t even compare.”

I fan my face with my hand as I say, “There you go with those panty-melting compliments again. What are we going to do about that?”

Tyler moves behind me and points out our reflection in the mirror. Watching him touch me brings a whole new level of heat. The sight of my pale breasts spilling from his work-weathered hands is intoxicating. “As a safety officer, I can’t allow you to get hurt, I guess those’ll just have to come off.”

I arch my back and give a sigh of appreciation as he grazes my nipples with his calloused thumbs. “Yes sir, Officer Colton,” I reply as I step forward to shimmy out of my thong. I look up at the mirror and quip, “I guess I have become a little more receptive to your orders since we first met. Just don’t take advantage of that, okay?”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty open to orders from you right about now. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you,” he responds.

I tap my chin as if I’m concentrating hard. “Wow, Cowboy! I would think that you’d have learned before now not to present me such a wide open offer, I might just get creative. You’ve lost a few challenges to me before.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. Even if this was some kind of competition, I can’t see any scenario under which I come out the loser. It’s the beauty of being all in. As your husband, I just get to sit back and watch you work your magic.”

I shake my head. “Not so fast, Cowboy. If we’re going to be issuing orders, they need to be a two-way street. So, if I have to sacrifice my skivvies, so do you.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Ty says as he shucks his clothes with such speed, it makes me blink with astonishment.

“What if I was hoping for a slow striptease?” I ask with a teasing lilt.

“Well, I could always get re-dressed for round two, if it means that much to you,” he magnanimously offers as he pats the bed next to him.

Suddenly, a case of nerves overtakes me. I feel ridiculous since Ty and I have long ago passed this point in our relationship. But, tonight it feels somehow different—like all my protective barriers are gone and I am left feeling vulnerable and scared. It’s just us now. For the first time since I can remember, I can let go of the fairytale. I no longer have to rely on vague promises of someday finding my Prince charming who will vanquish all my fears and make me feel safe. I don’t have to worry about whether I’ll someday find some mythological story creature. I’m married to Tyler Colton with all of his strengths and weaknesses, fears and triumphs through the good and bad. 

Letting go of someday is going to be a challenge for me. It’s a constant refrain in my life. Someday I’ll meet someone who understands the real me— the one I take great pains to hide. Someday my family will understand wanting to be an individual doesn’t make you evil, it just makes you different. Someday I’ll be brave enough to open the store my grandma and I always planned. Someday I’ll be the type of wife and mother I’ve always admired but never thought I’d actually have the opportunity to become. Today is the start of putting all those somedays behind me and living in the present. I realize how much I have grown over the last couple of years. Being secure in Tyler’s love has had a lot to do with my ability to move forward.

Tyler catches me staring off into space and says, “Gidget, I know it’s not the same as being at home in the featherbed, but we’ll make it beautiful, I promise.”

“It’s not it, Ty. I was just having a moment of gratitude and reflecting about how much I’ve changed over the last couple of years. You were a big part of that and I just don’t know how to say thanks.”

He pulls me closer to him so we are laying face to face. “It’s not just you, Heather. Before you came into my life, I was an angry guy who was just pretending to be the life of the party. You have helped me put a crappy past into perspective and move on. By fighting your battles with such grace and overcoming your fears, you gave me permission to start dealing with the cluster-fuck that happened with my team. Meeting with the support group has been the healthiest thing I’ve done in years. It took having you take care of me first before I realized that I had stopped caring for myself. The guys on my team would have gone ape-shit if they had been around to see what I was doing to myself. It was a terrible way to honor their memories, so the way I figure it, in a way we rescued each other from a life of total BS. We are so much stronger together. I can’t wait to see where life takes us.”

I lay quietly for a moment just absorbing his words. I tend to think of my contributions to our relationship as pretty benign and a whole lot traditional. I’ve always felt a little out of place among my modern peers. It’s more than just my fashion choices and my car. Sometimes, I feel like I was born at the wrong time. Although I am proud of my accomplishments as a chef and an entrepreneur, there is a part of me that gets a bigger thrill out of making sure Ty has a nutritious lunch and a hot dinner on the table. When I dated before, I always felt like I had to choose between being a career woman and revealing my domestic side. Tyler makes it effortless for me to do both, so it’s a little stunning for me to hear how much he values what just comes naturally to me.