Joy Ride (31 page)

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes.” Annie yanked the quilt and sheet down to the foot of the bed. “Come on. We’ll have lunch and margaritas at Hot Salsa and then find you another great new outfit. For when you go talk to Marc.”

“No more new outfits.” Emma shook her head. “And I don’t want to go to Hot Salsa or anyplace else.”

“Tough. You’re going.” Her friend paused. “Or shall I call your mother and tell her you’re sick and need her?”

Emma leaped off the bed. “Forget that. Let’s get going.”

***

“You need to snap out of this. We have a lot of work to do.”

Rick sat next to Marc on the back porch, watching his friend through narrowed eyes.

“I’ll be fine by tomorrow. Just go away for today. Okay?”

“Not okay. You’re a mess.”

Marc knew it but at the moment he didn’t care. His heart ached so badly he was afraid it was permanently damaged, and he didn’t need Rick trying to piece it back together for him. He just wanted to wallow in his own misery. If he didn’t realize what a disaster it would turn out to be, he’d have started drinking when he got home the night before. Alcohol was a great anesthetic, but not Marc’s style. Never had been. He’d seen too many others fall into that trap.

“I’ll be fine by tomorrow. We don’t have anything going today, right?”

“Right. I just don’t think you should be alone. Hey, why don’t you go over to your folks’ house?”

Marc raked his fingers through his hair. “Maybe later. Right now I don’t feel like seeing anyone. Including you.”

He’d considered talking to his mother but the more he went over everything in his mind the more he felt like a fool. He was probably right to doubt ML, to have reservations about a woman who refused to tell him her name. He hated the ugly thought creeping in that he was the one doing all the giving, all the accommodating. So maybe this was all for the best. His brain got the message, only it didn’t migrate to his heart.

Rick stretched his long legs out in front of him. “Maybe it’s for the best, guy. I mean, she wouldn’t even tell you who she is.”

“That has nothing to do with it,” he snapped. That was one subject he had no intention of discussing with anyone. He had a hard enough time wrestling with it himself.

“Hey.” Rick held up his hands. “Don’t bite my head off. If it worked for you, then fine.”

Marc rubbed his unshaven jaw. “I know you can’t understand this but she’s very special. She had some kind of trust issues. Maybe because the whole rock club scene was new to her. I’m sure she had misconceptions like a lot of people, and that bitch Lacey just solidified them.” He snorted. “You can tell Danny and Shelley thanks for helping to fuck up my life.”

“They feel real bad about the whole thing, Marc. Shelley and Lacey had a big fight about it last night. But Lacey’s been after you for a long time, and her sister was just trying to do her a favor. Nobody realized you were so serious about your mystery woman.”

“Maybe I didn’t even realize it myself until she ran off. Jesus, it’s like my heart’s been ripped out.” He shoved his fingers through his hair. “I was trying to let her know how I feel but still keep it low-key. Not frighten her off. But she means so much to me, and now I’ll probably never get the chance to tell her. Make a life with her.”

And that was no lie. If nothing else had come out of this disaster, it had forced him to accept the fact the he was in love with her. He’d do anything to find her, let her know what was in his heart and pray his hardest it was in hers, too.

Actually he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, but he had obligations to the band he couldn’t ignore. Especially now when the things they’d worked so hard for were within reach. He’d looked forward to sharing everything with his Music Lady, but now….

“All right.” Rick pushed himself out of the chair. “I’ll leave you to your misery. But we’re all having breakfast with Butch tomorrow morning to hammer out the details of the management contract. He’s also got the dates for the tour, and he’s talked to the record people. So put on your best and brightest smile. And brain.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be on my game.”

After Rick had left, Marc wandered around the house. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this bad. This lost. This totally bereft. He’d found the woman he believed to be his soul mate, the woman he could love forever, and now everything was fucked up. In his bedroom, he stretched out on the bed, pulling the pillow against him so he could inhale ML’s scent, wishing she was there with him. And how stupid was that? The chance he’d ever see her again was almost nonexistent and the pain of such knowledge nearly drove him to his knees.

He’d replayed the scene in the dressing room more times than he’d seen reruns of old television shows. He’d been thoroughly jazzed, just like the others, when Butch had come onto the stage to talk to them, walked them out into the wings and told them he wanted to put them under contract. Dozens of bands had tried to get him to take them on, but he’d focused only on Deep Blue River until he’d established them at the top. Then it was a mob scene to see who he’d sign next. And Lightnin’ had won the lottery.

Marc wanted to share this with ML. Let her know how connected he felt to her. What he saw in the future for them. Beg her for her name if begging was what it took and show her they could have something solid together. Finding the one right person in this business wasn’t easy. It took someone who could put up with the crazy hours and the uncertainties endemic to it. But he also knew you couldn’t pick the time and place when the one right person walked into your life.

For him it had been ML, the moment he saw her at Aftershock. He wanted her to be part of his success with her. His excitement. Take her home with him, open the bottle of wine and get her to talk to him about her trust issues. Hopefully begin the foundation of a life together.

Those were his thoughts when he walked off the stage with the band at the Amphitheatre. He’d glanced back once over his shoulder and seen ML slide off the equipment crate where she’d been sitting, and expected her to head for the dressing room. Several of the women the other band members had brought were already there but not ML. That damn Lacey jumped up, plastering herself all over him, and tried playing tonsil hockey the minute ML walked through the door.

By the time he shoved Lacey aside and raced out to the parking lot, ML was already heading to her car and not interested in listening to him. If he’d ever thought she’d trust him, that had gone right down the drain. The look of betrayal on her face and the pain in her voice were burned into his brain.

Marc thought again about taking Rick’s suggestion and seeing if his mother had any advice for him, but he wasn’t ready yet to drag the whole mess out for her to see.

Unable to sit still, he dug his acoustic guitar out of the closet and headed back to the porch. Maybe he’d do something productive with his pain and put it into a song.

Chapter Sixteen

The week was pure hell for Marc. Days were filled with business meetings, rehearsals and starting the two-week gig at The Rock Den. They had one more two-week commitment, but Butch had managed to get them out of everything else. Deep Blue River would be hitting the road in six weeks with Lightnin’ as their opening act. Ten dates in three states. Butch had used the tape of
On the Edge of the Woods
to get them a quick record contract with the guys who had been at the concert. A single, pushed out, down, and dirty to get airplay with the concert tour with a full album to follow if the first results were good.

“Labels aren’t committing to too much in front these days,” Butch told them.

But they were good with that. They knew they had a good product.

They worked their asses off rehearsing, talking business, getting ready for the tour, signing contracts. Playing the club at night. Marc was glad for the long hours. He could fall into bed exhausted and try to sleep without seeing Music Lady’s face every time he closed his eyes.

But when he did, he’d get up and work on his song. A song filled with pain, agony, and love.

Music playing, hips swaying, dance for me, Music Lady
.

And he could see her at Aftershock, moving to the beat of the songs, tentative the first time but gradually losing herself in the rhythm. Swept up in it. Letting it all go.

Body moving, hot and grooving, Music Lady
.

He saw her in his bed, like an unleashed tiger, wild and passionate and giving.

Sweet and sexy, that’s her style. Make her stay a while. Music Lady
.

Then he’d have to stop, because the agony of loss was enough to bring him to his knees. Maybe if he finished it, he could get the band to play it. It wouldn’t take more than one rehearsal. He had to find her, even if he had to hang out in the stupid grocery store for the rest of his life, something he did every day between rehearsal and work. The tour might interrupt it but he wouldn’t give up. Sooner or later she’d have to come back there. It was the only link he had right now and he hung onto it.

***

“So exactly how am I supposed to find him?”

As usual Emma and Annie were at Hot Salsa, sucking up the margaritas during happy hour. This was the third night in a row, and Emma was beginning to look forward to the numbing effects of the alcohol. She always got the last drink to go, carrying it home with her so she could crawl into bed. Pathetically, she’d worn the Lightnin’ T-shirt every night, pulling it on the moment she got home, inhaling his scent that clung to it. Then the pain would surface again, she’d chug down her to-go margarita and try to fall asleep, praying she didn’t keep seeing Marc’s face in her dreams.

The only good thing about the entire week was Andrew had gotten the message at last and left her alone. And the dinner with her parents had gone very well. They still tended to look at her as if someone had snatched their daughter and left a stranger in her place but they understood her changes were permanent and the old Emma was gone for good.

“As you keep reminding us,” her mother said, “you’re thirty. You have to make your own decisions. We love you, Emma. We just want you to know, whatever happens we will always be here for you.”

That had made her cry happy tears.

After ripping herself inside out for five days, she’d come to the realization Annie was right. She’d reacted without thinking. Run away like…like…like the old Emma. There had to be an explanation and the new Emma owed Marc the opportunity to give her one. Otherwise she wasn’t any different than the woman who had ran out of Andrew’s house as if her tail were on fire. If she didn’t like what Marc said she could walk away.

But now the question was how to go about it. She knew where he lived but she couldn’t bring herself to go to his house. She only had so much courage. What if he slammed the door in her face? At least a club was neutral territory. She knew they weren’t at Aftershock anymore, which presented a problem.

“Actually that’s going to be a lot easier than you think,” Annie told her.

“What do you mean?”

“Honey, Lightnin’s a hot topic right now. You can hardly hit a blog without seeing something about them.” She lifted her tote, reached inside, and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. “I printed this out for you today, hoping you might get around to shaking your brain into place.”

Emma opened the sheet of paper and scanned it.

Music Musings Around the City

Hotter than hot rock band Lightnin’, appropriately named for the electricity in their music, will be the opening act for superstars Deep Blue River on a ten city tour starting the end of this month. Meanwhile local fans can get a last glimpse of them until the end of next week at rockin’ new club The Rock Den. But get there early. The lines are longer than those at a Deep Blue River box office
.

She looked at Annie. “I’ll never get in. Look what it says about the lines.” She refolded the sheet and set it down on the pub table. “And I can’t see myself hanging around at the back door like one of the groupies I so despise.”

“Fortunately,” Annie winked, “you have friends in high places.”

Emma frowned. “I do?”

“Uh huh. My cousin is the bartender and he’ll put our names on the list. So we
can
go to the back door but a nice man will let us in.”

Her stomach turned upside down. “So…I’m really going to do this?”

“Listen to me. Do you care about this guy?”

Emma nodded. “More than I realized. More than I ever thought I could. If I learned nothing else this whole miserable week I learned that.”

“Then you need to do this or you’ll hate yourself for the rest of your life.”

She rubbed her forehead. “Can you see me bringing him home to my folks? They’ll pass out in shock.”

“Or just maybe they’ll see the same thing in him you do. So what’s it gonna be? Fish or cut bait?”

Emma took a long swallow of her drink and stared at Annie. “Fish. I’m going to fish.”

***

The blog had been right. The line to The Rock Den stretched down the sidewalk and around the corner, but Annie just headed to the parking lot in back. She’d insisted on driving both of them, leaving Emma with no option but to work things out with Marc. And Emma had offered up every silent prayer she’d ever heard, including a few incantations.

This was her chance to find out if Marc was right and they had something real. If he could forgive her for being such a coward, hiding her identity from him and running away the first time the going got tough. If she understood nothing else during her hours of self-examination, it was that she loved Marc and wanted to make a life with him. Whatever shape it took. Now if she could just get him to listen to her….

“I don’t know if I can do this.” She wiped her sweaty palms on her new jeans. “I mean, come on, Annie. What if he just ignores me?”

“If it’s that bad, we’ll just leave and I’ll drive you home.”

“You promise?”

“Word of honor.” She winked. “Pinky swear.”