Just a Fan (12 page)

'You don't have to -'

'Don't
worry
, Lillian,' Connor replied, putting his hands on either side of my face. The sincerity in those clear, pale blue eyes convinced me and I decided that he probably knew best. He gave me an encouraging smile, then leant forwards to start kissing me again.

I relished the tenderness in his touch, and almost fainted with bliss when his lips travelled down to my neck -

And then that bloody phone went off again.

'Ugh.' Connor leant his forehead wearily on my shoulder. He took a few deep breaths, then leapt from the sofa, growling: 'Be right back.'

I sighed, this time collapsing flat on the sofa. If this kept going, the suspense would kill me.

'Hello?' Connor said curtly. 'Oh...hi. Yeah, my agent called me a while ago and told me about it...look, I'm really sorry I can't be there.' His tone had become worryingly apologetic. 'Yes, I
am
aware of that. But that's not the only promotional run, is it? Oh...d'ye think it could be put off for a bit? I'll be coming back soon...no, not that soon, but...' He gave a sigh of frustration, obviously unable to explain himself. 'Right. What - Gordon Wells? You want me to...alright, I suppose I could...aye. OK, I'll do that - make up for this setback, too. Yeah, that would be great. OK. Thanks for that. Bye.'

Connor came back, this time slightly slower. When he sat down beside me he seemed a little bit conflicted, since he was satisfied with just a hug.

'That was one of the film guys,' he explained to me before I could ask. 'The one who deals with the promotional stuff.'

'Oh, really?' I said, frowning.

'But everything's fine,' he reassured me. 'We're OK. I told him I would appear on Gordon Wells' talk show to do my bit of the promoting later on.'

I smiled at him. 'Wow.'

'Not really that "wow",' Connor replied tiredly, rubbing beneath his eye. 'It's nothing out of the ordinary really. I just turn up, chat with Gordon, then get mobbed by fans on the way out.'

I had seen Connor on this notorious talk show a couple of times before; even though I knew about the audience at the talk show going wild over Connor when he made his entrance, I had never known about what went on backstage. It all seemed so complicated...

'Anyway...that's
later
,' he added dismissively, gathering me closer to him. 'Why don't we just make the most of
now
?'

I shrugged. 'Sounds good.'

Connor grinned widely, and then launched himself.

* * *

After an enlightening half-hour or two of some
very
good kissing, I was taken back home after promising to meet up with him again very soon. I tottered up the stairs to my flat in a light-headed state, barely able to keep on my feet for the dizzy euphoria. He would be coming over tomorrow evening for dinner at my place, something that I knew I would panic about later. But for now, I only felt like savouring the surreal knowledge that I had just spent a rather close and personal day with the man I had long admired...

Chapter 8

Takeaway

'Lilly...Lilly, what's wrong?' Connor's soft voice was full of concern as he quickly crossed the main room of my flat to join me in the kitchen.

I didn't even look up from where I sat hopeless on the floor, back against the counter, knees curled up to my chest and head in my hands.

'I'm a
failure
,' I sobbed despondently.

'No, you're not, Lilly - what're you talking about?' Connor argued gently, kneeling down on the floor beside me and putting an arm around me.

I wiped my eyes uselessly. 'I t-tried so
hard
to make this a s-special dinner,' I wept. 'I w-went and got everything for it, and...and th-then I left my all bags in Julie's
c-car
!'

'Aw, don't cry, pet,' he tried to console me gruffly, gathering me close to him.

'Now we don't h-have a d-dinner at
all
because there's nothing good in the fridge!' I wailed against his chest pathetically. Connor patted my head reassuringly.

'It doesn't matter...I'm sure there's
something
...'

I sniffed. 'I think there's only microwave pastries,' I amitted dejectedly.

Connor shrugged. 'Well, microwave pastries it is, then!'

* * *

I sat at the dinner table quietly. This was a
completely
unreal situation. Here I was, sitting in my flat, serving
microwave pastries
to my favourite movie star. Who, I might add, was devouring them with much enthusiasm.

'These're great!' Connor assured me happily, fully armed with knife and fork. 'Proper
brammer
, as we used to say in Glasgow! You know, I think I had these very same pastries when I was shooting
The Unknown
a few years back. I remember we had a very particular caterer on set, who fed us pastries just like these...couldn't get enough of 'em.'

'Really?' I asked weakly.

'Really,' affirmed Connor, then gave a laugh. 'See, pet, you dinnae have to serve me something extravagant to keep me happy! These pastries are perfectly fine.'

'Oh,' I replied in surprise, finally starting to believe him. I felt a little silly for having broken down in front of him over some forgotten shopping...I suppose I had been so anxious to please him that it had been too much for me when I realised I had nothing nice to cook for him. Luckily, though, it seemed that Connor was accommodating to all kinds of meals - including microwaved dinners.

'Tell me about your family,' Connor said conversationally, looking at me companionably while he scraped up some pastry filling on his plate with his fork.

I shrugged pensively, poking at one of my own pastries.

'Well, my Mum lives quite far from here, in a little suburban part of her town,' I told him. 'The kind of suburban area with really perfect little gardens, and lawns so well-kept that it gets a bit scary sometimes...'

Connor smiled a charming smile, nodding. Then he asked: 'Got any brothers? Sisters?'

I shook my head. 'Nope,' I replied. 'That's why my friends say I'm so shy sometimes...I had nobody to fight with when I was a kid.'

Connor laughed. 'Lucky,' he chuckled, giving my a look of mock-envy. 'I was cursed with a big sister.'

I looked at him thoughtfully. 'What's it like, having a sister?'

'Well, there's always someone to annoy you,' he answered. 'I remember Gracie had a very mean headlock. She's about four years older than me, and to her I'm still the baby brother. When I was about fourteen my parents were always asking me why I couldn't be nice and orderly like Gracie...I knew I'd never be able to be like her, so I stopped trying and became a bit of a troublemaker instead.'

'And look at you now...' I said with a grin. Connor inclined his head modestly.

'I bet she gets sick of hearing about me,' he replied. 'She's not as enthusiastic about me as my dear old Mum. Gracie still sees me as the wee one - even though I'm taller than her now.'

I smiled. Connor polished off the last of his pastry and sat back contentedly.

'Ah, that was lovely, Lillian,' he told me. 'Those pastries bring back memories.'

'I think I agree that microwaved stuff might be a bit underrated,' I replied, beginning to clear away the plates. Connor gathered the glasses up, and as we went over to the kitchen he kissed me on the cheek and said: 'Same again tomorrow night? We can have dinner at mine, this time.'

'Sounds good,' I replied.

'You know,' said Connor thoughtfully as he put the empty glasses in the sink, 'I quite like these kinds of meals. I think I have an idea about what I'd like to try for tomorrow's dinner...'

'You have?'

Connor grinned. 'Aye, I have...'

* * *

I raised my eyebrows at him in surprise.

'
Takeaway
?' I repeated.

'Aye, takeaway,' Connor affirmed happily as we walked through the darkening streets the following night.

I didn't say anything, still shocked. Connor gave me a sidelong glance, grinning decadently.

'Does it surprise you that I'd like a takeaway tonight?' he asked me.

I blinked. 'Well...I suppose I always thought celebrities liked...
better
stuff,' I confessed. He laughed, looking beautifully at ease with his hands in his jeans pockets and his curls streaming.

'Who says it's not fun to have a good old-fashioned takeaway once in a while?' he said.

I frowned at him. 'What takeaway were you thinking of having?' I enquired, giving in.

Connor turned his head to grin at me. 'I was hoping
you
could tell me that,' he replied. 'Which place serves the best takeaways here?'

I shrugged helplessly. '
I
don't know,' I told him, panicking, since I had no idea where to find a place that served takeaways fit to feed a man like Connor.

'Come
on
, you live here, Lilly!' he coaxed me. 'Surely you must know a good place!'

Under pressure, I struggled to remember anywhere good...

'Well, er...I think there's a place in the next street...' I said. 'I had some takeaway nems there that weren't bad...'

'Nems?' Connor said. 'I'm up for that!'

* * *

About ten minutes later, Connor and I were sitting on a lamplit park bench, both crunching away at our crispy spring rolls, packed up in grease-stained white boxes. They smelled heavenly, and tasted just as delicious, too, even if they were still a bit hot.

'Mmm,' said Connor contentedly, reminding me of that clip I had seen so long ago from "
Celebrities in the Kitchen
".

'Mmm,' I agreed, nodding as I leant forward and tried to bite into one of my nems as delicately as possible - something that was ruined by the few strings of transparent noodle that fell out of it to trail inelegantly from my lips. But strangely enough, as I pushed them into my mouth with a little laugh, I didn't
care
what I looked like - mainly because I was having such fun. There was something curiously amical about sharing a takeaway meal - especially with a movie star. I glanced at Connor, who looked as if he was enjoying it just as much as I was. When I had gone shopping yesterday, Julie had taken the news that Connor was still here and still with me quite well. Since she was the more mature and sensible one, I suppose she found it quite touching that Connor had stayed, and did not blame me for still wanting him. However, I had not yet broken the news to Kate, who would surely think me crazy, and tell me I was just letting him walk all over me. She'd never understand...but then again, who
could
?

I smiled at Connor as he expertly picked up a nem with the disposable plastic chopsticks the restaurant had supplied with the meal. The nem didn't even wobble on the sticks as he bit into it, leaning forwards slightly to prevent the crispy flakes from falling into his lap.

'How do you
do
that?' I asked him in awe. He frowned at me.

'Do wha'?' he said through a mouthful of nem.

'Use chopsticks like that!' I said. I myself was having to resort to fingers instead.

Connor grinned and laughed. 'Oh, I guess I've had a bit of practice,' he told me, twiddling them. 'I went to Japan, remember.'

I sighed dreamily. 'Japan...' I said. 'What was it like?'

He shrugged. 'Well, I didn't get to see much of the sights, since I was just there with the cast to promote
Esquire
- or "Esk-wa", as the Japanese people called it...' He smiled at the memory.

'It must've been great...I saw some of the photos,' I admitted, remembering the hundreds of pictures taken of Connor and his fellow cast-members in smart suits, signing autographs for a very excited Japanese public, whose sheer numbers were kept behind a long metal barrier draped with posters. I also remembered one particular photo of Connor signing somebody's own poster, smiling, his smart-jacketed form framed perfectly by waving hands and the foil-covered backs of television cameras and lighting apparatus.

'It was a fun night, yeah,' replied Connor, making me remember again how lucky I was to be here with him. 'I was completely tired out by the end, though - it's hot work, under those lights. But it was great to see just how far overseas that film had gone...and to meet all the people who wanted an autograph from "MacGowan-san"!'

I laughed, popping the last bit of a nem into my mouth.

'You know, I
still
can hardly believe you're here,' I confessed in a softer tone. 'I keep almost forgetting how famous you are...'

Connor gave a little half-smile, looking down modestly.

'I
like
being here,' he said. 'You see, Lilly...acting's not just about being in front of the camera and doing your bit. It's such a demanding job - it takes so much training and study. You have to be determined, patient, hard-working, disciplined...sometimes you have to work nights, and there's so much pressure...it's satisfying in the end though, and fun, too, but sometimes it's just good to take a little
break
...'

I listened thoughtfully, touched that he was sharing this with me. Connor sighed, then gave me a brave smile.

'You know what? I think I've developed a taste for these,' he told me, finishing off his last nem, lips slightly stained from the sauce. I smiled back, trying to hold mine as delicately as possible between finger and thumb.

'Me too,' I agreed, crunching on the final piece of mine, savouring the lovely flavour of the stuffing. 'Nice and filling, too.'